Overlord's Orders II

[James Gryphon]

"Fine.

Musician: In spite of all of the other failures, the mission could have still been successful if it wasn't for your destruction of my memento. Why did you destroy it, and for that matter, why did you waste all the rest of my money on worthless toys?"

[Captain Tammo]

OOC: Well, buddy, I'm sorry... but I killed you off between yesterday and today.

This one is going unusually fast, though; there's only four people left and we're getting close to the finish, so I suspect you won't have to wait long for a new round.

Oh that's fine! I just feel bad because I never really contributed to the game and I got a PM saying people were waiting for me. I must've read it a little too late. Sorry about that guys.

[Redwall Musician]

"First off, I shot at the toy because a beaver had bombed it. And I only spent $50 at the store. Due to ToR's submarine parking skills, we got a parking ticket. Plus Daniel forgot his credit card. Didn't he mention that he just had to rent a whole bus for our transportation. And plus we had to pay for lunch, and your kitten butler showed up out of nowhere to get his money," Musician said. She then decided her tropical house would have a dolphin center and a panda cage.

[James Gryphon]

"I see.

Well, the situation has been explained, and where shall I begin with my judgement?

Let's start with the fact that I already told all of you that the beavers were no longer a threat. If you had listened to me instead of going off on a wild rodent hunt, you would have known that, and avoided confronting them. Any trouble they caused was only in self-defense against your blundering.

Since this comedy of errors wasn't caused by beaver brainwashing, I can only conclude that all of you have gone insane. That will play a role in my judgement; I don't necessarily mind having deluded servants, but when it reaches the point where they are no longer effective, that is something else.

So there are five offenses here against me -- the expenditure of the money, for one. The destruction of my beaver memento, which none of you prevented. The cause of a riot, which is Taggerung's fault. The fact that none of you were wearing any form of disguise, which is Matthias' problem. Finally, all of you provoked a conflict with the death-defying beavers, even though you should have reasonably surmised it was a bad idea.

Because all of you seemed to make your decisions at random, I also will make my decision at random. Observe."

A large, glowing circle, reminiscent of a prize wheel, lit up the room. It had four segments -- one red, one yellow, one blue, and one green.

"This will spin around a bunch of times. Each color represents one of you, though who I will not bother to explain. The person it falls to will be the one that is punished."

The wheel spun around, turning into a blur, lighting up different parts of the room. Curiously, although the lighting didn't show everything in the room, nobody appeared to be standing at the control panel.

Finally, the wheel slowed and came to a halt, showing red.

Matthias's capsule lit up with the same color.

"Matthias, you're our unlucky winner for today," the Overlord intoned, sarcastically. "And I have a most special prize for you."

Suddenly, a death-defying beaver, garbed in an elaborate 19th-century-style dress uniform, entered the room, chattering in an indistinguishable language.

"Yes, the beavers and I have formed an alliance, which was my plan to end their negative influence in my domain. This is their Caroivmodbzxxy Xgaeoxzyvy, which, in our language, translates loosely into "General". He is the most trusted subordinate of their Marshall in command over their forces on this planet.

As part of the terms of our agreement, I guaranteed that the beavers would be provided with one slave. Svmimzoxcinvy, xzcivmoixmv, arspomgimvxzbvz fmvdofimv asdlccz."

Without another word the General, and another, apparently subordinate beaver brainwashed Matthias and hauled him away. A minute later, the three remaining servants heard the sound of something like a rocket blasting away from the station.

"Only three of you left, eh?

Well, the next mission won't require as many of you as I am accustomed to sending. It will be a joint mission.

You and three death-defying beavers are going to be deployed to Antarctica. You will enter an exact copy of this base in the ocean there and search through my 10,000-book vault for the plans I designed for a particle beam. It will be of use in the conquests to come.

So far, I have split all of you up into different submarines, but this time, due to your decreased numbers, you will take only one. Do not wreck it."

---

Some time later, one particularly scraped-up submarine returned to the underwater base in the Pacific. Notably, another, strangely designed submarine, different from anything the servants had ever seen before, was docked in the eighth module.

The three surviving servants entered their usual positions, and the Overlord spoke.

"As I have come to expect, you failed me again. My base in the Antarctic was flooded, requiring the beavers to defy death to escape, and all of my archives were destroyed. Furthermore, you have badly damaged the craft that you came in, even though I specifically told you not to do so.

The last few missions have proved that, if nothing else, you lot have a talent for telling stories. Tell me, what's your excuse this time?"

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

"Cows."

[DanielofRedwall]

"Yes, cows. You see, ToR was driving the submarine, and we were all sitting in the back, again playing with my iPod. Musician clicked on one of the apps, which makes cow noises. This made ToR a bit angry, as she continually made it make a noise. The beavers and I tried stopping Musician, which we succeeded in doing. But when it stopped, there were still cow noises going on. There was a snorkeling cow outside our window! ToR didn't believe it, however, and believed it was still the iPod. Distracted drivers are dangerous. He turned to the back seat to stop us, but he crashed in to the base, flooding it and damaging the submarine. The beavers had to defy death to stop us from drowning. It wasn't really ToR's fault, it was more Musician's, sir, or the cow."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

OOC: I'm not sure I can be called someone who thinks they're a talking dog. That strikes me as crossing the line of allowable powerplaying. It defines my condition rather closely. Link

[DanielofRedwall]

OOC: Sorry, I've changed my post. I didn't really like my excuse anyway!

[James Gryphon]

OOC: I like the latest edit, but "he" should be changed to "she", since you made it Musician instead of the beaver.

"It seems to me that your iPod, which I gave you so that you could more effectively carry out my bidding, has caused more than its fair share of trouble. Explain to me why you put so many useless apps on it when everything on it should have been entirely work-related.

Also, Musician, tell me why you felt it was necessary to distract the submarine pilot in the way you did."

[Redwall Musician]

OCC: If I were to answer the question just as I do in real life, I would probably say, "Because I did," and then some one would say, "Care to add any details?" "Because I did it," would be my reply. But anyways, BIC:

"I was tired of listening to ToR's annoying 80s music. Terrible taste really. So I pushed on Daniel's iPod the app that said "Opera Cow" thinking any kind of opera was better then ToR's radio choice. I didn't know it was a real cow sound. Little did I know clicking it once would automatically make it sound off seven times," Musician said, "The reason it looked like I was pressing it again and again was because I was trying to turn it off. I don't understand iPods."

[DanielofRedwall]

"I haven't quite got the hang of my iPod yet, you see. I bought plenty of work-related apps on the computer, but I haven't worked out how to delete all the other apps. You see, I bought them on ToR's computer, as I don't own my own, and he owns plenty of useless apps. I haven't worked out how to get them and all his terrible music off the iPod yet, but I'm learning how to off the internet. I'm not very good with all this technoloy stuff. ToR hasn't bothered telling me how to, even though I asked. They will be gone by the time I work out how to!"

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

OOC: It's fascinating how different my tastes are in this than reality.

"Daniel should know what he is doing, it would be proper for him too. His fault and Musician's dreadful taste of music seem to be a direct cause of the failure that is inflicted all the time. But why Daniel stole my computer is beyond me. Daniel asked me for some advice on some tech stuff, but after his theft I felt he should get none. As for the cow app, that isn't mine. I think Matthias downloaded that one."

[James Gryphon]

"There's something they call a "manual", which can help clueless wannabe technology users like you apparently are. Why did none of you read one?

Perhaps more to the point, why have you been playing all these games and music, on my time? Even if it was on the phone that doesn't mean you had to play it.

What's your excuse for doing so and causing all of the problems you have so far?"

OOC: If you haven't noticed, the Overlord loves asking loaded questions. 

[DanielofRedwall]

"Please, sir, it was never my idea. All the times the iPod was used, others begged me for a turn, or threatened me if I didn't! At the airport, they all threatened me if I didn't give it to them! At the shopping centre, ToR made me get the iPod out and show him how to play Angry Birds. And on this mission, the beavers and Musician pressured me in to it, and I mean ILLEGAL forcing...

And ToR, you must of forgotten, for I clearly asked you if I could use your computer for it. You must of forgotten.

Oh Overlord, the iPod you gave me, despite it coming in all official casing and stuff, came with no manual. I'm not sure why, I even sent Apple a message saying that, but nothing happened."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

"Daniel and the beavers rigged some brainwashing machines together and practiced using it on Musician during the trip. If I forgot something, well, I know who to blame."