Overlord's Orders Special Round II

[Rosie Willowwater]

Rosie looks questioningly at Delthion "I believe you are mistaken Del. I had been looking for a cure for the abominable headaches I have been getting. I heard that Sand might be able to help me for he had been studying to become a doctor for quite some time. So he perscribed me some  odd looking pills which, after a few days, I then realized were small virus bombs. I don't know what the motive could be of the crazy madman, but he must have felt guilty and chose to heal me after I had been injected with the vile of finicky jellyfish toxin. Which I might add, looked exactly like something I saw in Sand's office.

[Delthion]

"I must confess, that Rosie was threatening me, she said that if I did not tell Sage to play "Let it Go" and claim to be Overlord that she would kill me, and everyone on the mission, being troubled at the consequences of you not getting your Beaver, I relented. I did not tell you this beforehand because I was trying to spare others from your just anger."

[Lord Daskar]

My Lord, I will admit it. I did create an evil beaver with explosives to kill you, but, I was acting on the orders of Soren. Soren told me that you had asked him to make a beaver that wanted to kill you because you were bored and would I make it but not tell anyone that he had asked me to as he didn't want you to know that he was too lazy to do so. Naturally I thought this was a strange request, but since you are the Overlord and Soren had authority over me I obeyed, meaning to ask you Mightiness about it later.

And as for these slanderous attacks about cowardice, I must inform your Grace that I am no coward. I merely chose to appear that way because if others thought I was a coward it would be easier to do your Majesty's orders.

[Fatch of Southsward]

OOC: Soren, I believe we're looking for a post from you! Otherwise you may get eliminated round one! 

[Søren]

Sir, I have no idea what Daskar is talking about.
Perhaps he misheard me, but my exact and total words were "Hey Dask-i-do, wouldn't it be funny if Overlord James asked us to make a make a beaver bomb to kill him? And then especially if you had to make it. Funny, right? Rosie was telling that to Del. Those two are peas in a pod."
I don't know why Rosie and Del were talking like this, but as we learned in the mayonnaise case of '12, I a, a compulsive repeater of things I overhear. My therapist discourages the use of the word "gossip". But that's what they were saying. Rosie had a weird sinister tone that scared me. But I thought we all were loyal to you my lord, so I didn't think anything of it. I had no idea that she would potentially go through with it. She must've used a Galaxy Note 7 battery. She was messing around with one of those earlier.

[Lord Daskar]

Your Highness, it is possible that I misheard Soren. You see, I have hearing problems, it runs in the family, I really should get hearing aids.

[James Gryphon]

The Overlord sounded perplexed, and more than a little frustrated. "I'm not sure what's bewitched all of you, but I've never heard such an incomprehensible mess in my life. Getting this job done wasn't rocket science; you were glorified couriers. Do I need to start screening my candidates for pizza delivery experience?"

"You were all terrible, but I've only decided to remove one of you for now. Sagetip seems to have caused more than his weight in trouble, and will be punished accordingly."

The capsule Sage was standing in lit up, and with a bright flash of light, he disappeared.

"Your former co-servant has been teleported to California, and will have to spend the rest of his life there. 'nuff said."

"Now that your group should be marginally improved, I've decided the time has come to send you to a facility in Minnesota for teamwork and accuracy training. Specifically, I've rented out a Beam Trek™ laser tag building for three days and nights. Hopefully this will build your experience working together, and teach you to be marginally less useless than you are now. Food and drink will be shipped in to you, and you'll have the place to yourselves for those days. The best of you might receive an award. You'll be taken there by transporter momentarily. Don't mess the place up."



Three days later...

"Well, I have to admit it. I'm impressed. Few others have shown such a dedication to failing even the simplest of assignments."

"The information I got back about your performance in the games indicates an average of a 0.068% accuracy for each of you... that means that less than 1 out of every 100 shots was a hit. How could anyone, especially alleged servants such as yourselves who are supposed to be experienced in these things, possibly be so inaccurate? Then, to cap it all off, after only a day and a half of your stay, you managed to burn the building you were in to the ground."

"As you might imagine, the company I rented from was less than enthusiastic about your stay there. I had to promise to repay them for their losses, plus extra for the business that they won't get while they rebuild. On the bright side, I see great potential for all of you in the demolition industry."

"Tell me, how did you come about doing such a counterproductive job in such a small amount of time?"

[Groddil]

OOC: How is living in California a punishment? :p

BIC:

Groddil is once again the first to speak.
"Oh, great Overlord. Allow me to explain. When we were arming ourselves with the lasers, Rosie had the "bright idea" of making the games more interesting. She tampered with the circuits of the guns, which overcharged them. I believe that this is the cause of the building burning down, as the lasers would have made the walls catch fire. But that is not all, your powerfullness. When we started the games, I noticed that Sandpaw was nowhere to be seen. He had sealed himself in a side room, and was shooting a photo of yourself with his laser, while spouting anti-overlord nonsense. I confronted him, which made him panic. He punched out at me, but hit my weapon instead. He caused a malfunction, which made my weapon fire one laser every second, no matter what I did, hence my terrible score. I left the arena to exchange it, but Daskar had already broken them beyond repair, using the parts from the laser rifles to make a Death Ray, which he said he was giving to Fatch, who would kill you with it."
Groddil coughs.
"Pardon me, Overlord, I ask for forgiveness for my part in this, once again."

[LT Sandpaw]

Sandpaw tenderly rubs a black eye, while glaring at Groddil. Snapping to attention the Lieutenant rapped out his report as he was expected to do.

"Sir I'm afraid Servant Groddil has it all wrong. You see Rosie wasn't the only one wanting to make the game more interesting, she had Groddil and Del helping her. Me, Daskar and Fatch had already decided to split everyone into two teams while one person refereed. We were about to choose team captains when Del began yelling at the top of his lungs, he was screaming, 'Free for all, free for all!' Over and over again. Of course you know Soren, he joined in and then Rosie began messing with the weapons, and very soon everyone except me and Fatch were shooting in every which direction shouting like banshees. Fatch was busy plastering a poster of your face everywhere as motivation, while I was left to make everyone shut up.

"It took a good hour and a half to get them to calm down, and about then I came up with the great idea that one team should act like your worst enemies, that way we could make the battles more realistic. Me, Daskar and Fatch got put on that team, while Groddil, Del, and Rosie were on the other, Soren was referee. So we began sir, running off to different sides and began our training, except it wasn't that great.

About a day into it we started another battleand I broke off from my team to flank around and capture their zone, while Daskar and Fatch created a distraction. I found their capture zone hidden in a side room undefended and I began shooting it while staying in character. Your poster was plastered onto it by Fatch, which made it really authentic. That's when Groddil came across me I started fighting like we were supposed to but he seemed to have gone crazy and attacked me with his fists giving me this black eye."

Sandpaw once again dabs at his eye.

"After I fought him off I realized my gun had been damaged beyond repair and was shooting horribly, and I returned to the main area to get it replaced when I smelled smoke. I can assure that after that point I simply did my best to get everyone out of the building and safely away and had no part in anything else that went on. I talked to Fatch afterwards and he told me that after they had some sort of run in with Groddil, and once Grodds had been dealt with, Fatch had come across Rosie and Soren trying to cook their food with the lasers, which caused the fire. That's all I have to report sir."

[Groddil]

Groddil scoffs.
"Ridiculous. You just said exactly what I did, in reverse. Rosie asked me to hand her a screwdriver, nothing more. Del gave her a battery, nothing more. She was the one who ruined the guns. Explain why you were shooting the poster of the overlord that Fatch had put up, and insulting him all the while? Explain why you think the black eye was uncalled for, when you attacked me after I questioned you, broke my gun, and gave me a headache that lasted the rest of our time there. Explain why you are defending Fatch, whom Daskar had built a death ray for, for the explicit purpose of, quote, 'killing the Overlord.' In fact, my run-in with Fatch consisted of me asking him what was going on with the death ray, after which he shot me with his rifle. See, I still have the burn scar just above my eyebrow."

[Delthion]

"I must agree with Groddil in this situation most majestic Overlord, I was only asked for a battery by Rosie, she had been playing with a flashlight and cackling for a while. I assumed that the battery was for the flashlight!"

[Groddil]

Groddil nods.
"What Delthion says is correct, your powerfullness. The flashlight was flickering, so we assumed that Rosie needed the screwdriver in order to install a new battery, in order to fix it. Had we known what she originally intended, we would never have assisted her. Especially after she hit Soren over the head with it."

[Fatch of Southsward]

Fatch was glad to see his name, rightfully, had not come up too much in a bad way.

I believe your servant Sandpaw put it best, oh great, majestic and powerful Overlord.

I think the most important point I shall refute is my apparent desire to kill you with some sort of death ray. I would like to start off by stating what we all already know - it is far beyond a servant of Daskar's caliber to create such a weapon out of harmless laser tag weapons. If I had truly asked for such a weapon, it would be far below my intelligence to ask Daskar for it. Indeed, I was too busy spreading your propaganda for your glory to worry about a silly death ray.

In addition, I would add that although Daskar may have told Groddil that I asked for the weapon, that doesn't necessarily mean I actually asked for it. I have no doubt in my mind that this was just another foolish scheme of Daskar, and he threw my name in his own place to throw Groddil off his trail.

I would add that the laser burn on Groddil's eyebrow is a testament only to how useful a servant I am. Naturally, I had no idea what a death ray was, or what he thought I wanted it for, so when he asked me about it, I simply thought he was trying to distract me so I could be ambushed. Following the task you assigned me, I practiced my aim and shot him with the laser tag gun. As you can tell by his scar, it was an impressive shot. I would add that this was only the beginning of my impeccable accuracy. The average, of course, was brought down by the others because many of their guns were tampered with.

As Sandpaw stated, after successfully 'tagging' Groddil, I smelled smoke. I went to check it out, because demolition and arson was certainly not on the checklist of objectives. I found Rosie and Soren (to no one's surprise) attempting to cook with the lasers. They had tampered with them to make them more powerful, and of course, as they always do when they are granted power, they misused it.

I tried to reason with them, and for Soren it proved fairly successful. Rosie was another story. Instead of stopping, she intensified her laser and burned the Caesar salad she was trying to cook horribly. I tried to explain that there was no need to cook a salad but she started screaming "HAIL CAESAR, HAIL CAESAR, I SHALL COOK THEE A SALAD!!!"

I tried to take the laser from her, before it caused any more damage to the facility, but it was too late - she had managed to start a raging fire from nothing but a Caesar salad. Despite what she had done, I managed to get her out of the building. It was a difficult task, because she was still sure that her salad wasn't quite cooked yet. To cap it all off, I would finish with concluding that food and drink is not allowed inside the training facility at all. Yet another rule broken by her carelessness...

If it hadn't been for Sandpaw and I, I don't know how we would have gotten everyone out alive.

[LT Sandpaw]

"Great Overlord sir," Sandpaw said with obvious distaste. "Groddil seemed to be under the delusion that we were doing something wrong, when he was simply acting out of place. I already detailed everything he tried to accuse me of in my first report sir, and I would maintain that attacking someone of the opposite team is what's expected in a simulated battle, so what me and Fatch did was entirely understandable. However when Groddil began smacking me with his gun I could only respond in kind.

"I would like to add that Groddil proved to be extremely troublesome when we were trying to evacuate the building waging a crusade with Daskar, the two were obstinately smacking each other with burning sticks declaring themselves the more loyal servant. I nor Fatch had no part in this fight, other then breaking it up of course, and dragging them out of the burning building."

[Lord Daskar]

"Oh Greatest of the Lords who dwell below the Arctic Ocean, I death ray that I built was completely done in character and only as harmless as laser tag guns. And yes, even though Fatch didn't tell me to build it I said that he did in order to stay in character as I believed Fatch was supposed to be in charge of the team that was pretending to hate you, as if anyone ever actually could.

As a child my drama teacher always told me that when playing a part you must, 'Always, at all costs, stay in character,' when I discovered that she was a relation of yours, I should've known since such talent could only come from your mighty family, I immediately began to obey.

And my fight with Groddil was a fight for my own life and his. When the building began burning the others ran out quickly, I, however, was searching for my shoe. When I found it I ran to the door to discover Groddil holding a burning stick and blocking the way. He began laughing insanely and saying an 'evil, disloyal servant such as you must stay and burn,' then he smacked me with his stick. Naturally I couldn't allow this to happen so, I picked up and stick, declared myself loyal, and tried to knock out Groddil so I could get out and bring him too. This process repeated itself several times. If it weren't for the bravery of Sandpaw and Fatch neither of us would've made it out alive."