...but I Escaped Because.......

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

A zimple game. Ze firzt member poztz zummat 'appenin' tae ze next member tae pozt, und zen zat zecond member poztz 'ov zey zurvived zaid occurrence ztartin' viz "...but I Escaped Beacuse" und poztz zummat tae 'appen tae ze next member, und zen etc.

Fer Example-
Member 1: The next poster is set on fire.

Member 2: ...But I Escaped because I always carry a Fire-extinguisher.
The next poster is dropped in a volcano.

Zae, Let uz zee...Ze next pozter iz aboot tae be clonged by ze Joseph Bell vhich iz favin' dovn on zem.

[Groddil]

...But I escaped because this event takes place after the original Redwall, so the Joseph Bell no longer exists. Whoops.

The next poster is swarmed by giant, disease-carrying mozzies.

[Ashleg]

...But I escaped because I am too OP and a Gary-Stu, and they couldn't lay a finger on me. *wink wonk*

The next poster is thrown down a volcano!

[Groddil]

...But I escaped because the volcano was an extinct one, and rather than lava, the crater only contained a small lake of non-harmful water.

The next poster is shot thirty-two times in the skull by a .50cal revolver.

[Ashleg]

...But I SURVIVED because I have two skulls and the one that was shot wasn't needed anyway.

The next poster is turned into a roast chicken and descended upon by a gang of unruly chihuahuas.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

But I escaped because I ate the chihuahuas.

The next poster is forced to eat surstromming.

[Groddil]

...But I escaped because my chicken-flesh produced a toxin that allowed me to transfer my consciousness into anything that ate it. I possessed a chihuahua and ran off, spending the rest of my days being pampered by a sweet old lady.

EDIT: Ninja'd

...But I cut my tongue out before I ate the surstromming. Once the disgusting stuff was no longer in my system, as I expulled it by eating large quantities of chili, I simply reattached my tongue. Good as new.

The next poster is superglued to an atomic bomb, which is detonated in the middle of the pacific ocean.

[Lady Amber]

...But I escaped because my skin is able to secrete a liquid which removes super-glue; and since I am capable of flying, I fly away before the bomb explodes.

The next poster is trapped in a cage and lowered into boiling water, filled with boiling-water-resistant squid which will eat your flesh.

[Groddil]

...But I escaped because the squid couldn't get through the bars of the cage. :p I just grabbed the top of the cage, squeezed through the gap in the bars, and climbed the rope to safety with no more injuries than a stubbed toe and one little burn on my ankle.

The next poster is inflated with helium like a balloon, all their orifices are plugged, and they are catapulted into the stratosphere.

[Eulaliaaa!]

But I escaped because I bounced off a balloon and landed on a needle, which popped me and let me deflate before I flew away again.

The next person is in the middle of the ocean with a hundred sharks trying to eat them.

[Ashleg]

But I escaped because I swam to the bottom and evolved into a rock and sharks don't eat rocks so it allowed for many years to pass until a fisherman accidentally caught me in his net and threw me onto the shore and I turned back into a pine marten.

The next poster is locked in a blender.

[LT Sandpaw]

...But I escaped because the blender was fortunately switched off. After several failed attempted at breaking through the glass I managed to meddle the blades and internal electronics to create a makeshift electronic battering ram and bust my way out.


The next person to post has just jumped out of a plane but forgot to take a parachute...

[Wylder Treejumper]

But I escaped because LITTLE KNOWN FACT I am actually a flying squirrel.

Nah, I was just wearing a wingsuit

The next poster was inadvertently turned into a real poster, featuring an illustration of them (possibly by- horror of horrors- Gary Chalk) and hung on the wall of Skarzs' bedroom.

[Groddil]

...But I escaped because the poster was so awful Skarzs threw it out the window in disgust.

The next poster is eaten by a 6 year old child pretending to be a velociraptor.

[rachel25]

But I escaped because I am a velociraptor and I ate the child from the inside out.

The next poster gets sucked into a black hole and finds themselves surrounded by space snakes.