Cellar Updates and News - what you NEED to know!

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Turns to camera, adjusting green tie* Greetings, and welcome to the official Cellar news channel. Where we tell you what you NEED to know! Has life become too hard? Is it difficult to use your own brain to make decisions that someone else could make for you? FEAR NOT! We are here to assist my needs- ah, wait, I meant to assist YOU!:D (Charlie, edit that for me, will ya?)

First off, it has been announced that Heflin the Cow has been seen jumping over the moon. Spoons and dishes flee in terror, while the dogs laugh and the cats fiddles. What will we do? What should YOU do? Stay tuned.

Next up, is the cake actually a lie? Also stay tuned.

*The screen switches to a commercial and Seb hops out of his seat* I could use some more people in my staff. Any volunteers? I could use some reporters to find some stories and the like.

[Jarky Thistlebrush]

Sure! I'm a decent reporter.

[Sebias of Redwall]

I'll take your word for it! *Hands Jarky a paper and pencil* Take Bert, he has the camera.

[Captain Wortshire]

*the screen begins glitching out*

I̶̛͙Ṅ̸̮C̷̮̅Ő̴͜M̷̑ͅI̶̼̔Ṉ̵͗G̶͇͋ ̶̪͒É̵̱Ǹ̴̟C̸̜̚R̵̳̃Y̶͍̔P̸͍̊Ț̵͆Ë̵̤́D̶̤̑ ̵̯͘M̴̯̋E̶̲̍S̴͍̈S̷̜̏A̵̘̅G̶͚͊E̵͓͐ ̵̠̈́F̷̬̌R̴̙̂O̴͘ͅM̵̜̃ ̵̮͝Ȕ̷͓N̵̗͠K̶̡̀N̸͔̔O̴̩̕W̸͚͌Ṋ̸̎ ̶̖̏Ş̵̓O̷̓͜Ü̷̹R̷̮͂C̶̬̍E̸͉̎:̷͍̈́/

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[lass of something much]

*unplugs it*

[Scott McLamok]

@Sebias of Redwall  I need a new rule in the cellars! PLEASE HEAR ME OUT!

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Hands the mic to Scott* Let's hear it. Then we might repeat it later tonight.

[lass of something much]

*Smiles warmly at Scott and whispers* Good luck!

[Kade Rivok]

Didn't we already have a thread like this?

[lass of something much]

Not that I know of?

[Kade Rivok]

Found it!  Forum News Network

[Scott McLamok]

*Hands the mic to Scott* Let's hear it. Then we might repeat it later tonight.

Thank you Seb! *Coughs* Ah-hem! I would like Seb's vote to count as two!

[lass of something much]

o.0

[Russa Nodrey]

Eh?

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Hands the mic to Scott* Let's hear it. Then we might repeat it later tonight.

Thank you Seb! *Coughs* Ah-hem! I would like Seb's vote to count as two!

Could you elaborate on that please, sir? I must say that I'm intrigued!

Found it!  Forum News Network

Oh. >.> Well that's disappointing. I thought this was my idea. EH. Originality is overrated. 

Also:
BrEaKiNg NeWs! (If fashionably late. *Cough cough*) The Cellars are in chaos as dung beetles invade! Many powers are at play, folks. Will the Emperor Sebias Humbleton remain on top? Will the Usurper or the any of the others manage to grasp a hold before they are stopped? Stay tuned.

@Evie what are your thoughts on the matter? *Gives the mic to Evie*