Welcome to the tenth (or eleventh) round of Overlord's Orders! If you've never played before, this game is a lot of fun and isn't too hard.
This is a sequel to the last round, taking place only a couple days after. I have what (I think) are a few good ideas on what to do.
I can also confirm right now we will have a cooking scene. Come prepared.
Without further ado, our ever wonderful rules:
Quote
The Rules
We will have an overlord (or overlady), who will be all powerful and control the game.
Everyone else will be a servant of theirs to do his or her bidding, which will be a new assignment at the beginning of each round.
The game begins by the Overlord issuing a task, sending out their servants, and then summoning everyone before them and questioning them about whether they got the thing they wanted.
Any given round may have anywhere from a developing storyline and plot to pure and simple tasking. At times, the gamemaster (Overlord) may deviate from the general pattern and do something different at the end than just another task.
Example Round:
Let's say the Overlord might have wanted a jeep to use.
Stage 1: Introduction
The Overlord sends out their servants on a task and they return, and the Overlord will question their servants and ask them why they failed to bring them the thing they wanted (which will invariable happen, no one ever succeeds).
Stage 2: Defenses
Players can then blame their failure on some random thing (like maybe an elephant destroying the jeep) or someone else in the game; anything to shrug themselves off from fault.
Everyone can then blame someone, themselves, keep silent, or introduce some sort of new feature that happened while acquiring the item (in this case, a jeep). Eventually, the Overlord will process the information and decide who failed.
Stage 3: Punishment
The person chosen to have failed by the Overlord is then thrown out, vaporized, or something creative, by the Overlord's orders. The idea is to not be this person, and to survive as long as possible.
Likely, the Overlord will be choosing the best defenses as survivors.
Player defenses may not exceed 750 words per post. Unless your post has gotten noticeably quite long, you are unlikely to be hitting this limit.
Inter-game rules: The winner of any round is given host-ship of the next game. This can tie in with them going from servant to overlord, or it can be original.
General Guidelines:
Free roleplaying, or game spam, is fine. This means having yourself eat a banana, talk about the weather or river dance.
Whenever someone says something, it becomes fact. It is what happened. If someone says an elephant destroyed a jeep, then anyone calling that person a liar is for certain lying; the jeep was destroyed by an elephant. What's up for telling for someone else is, for example, who set the elephant on the jeep.
Godmoding pertaining to persons should be restricted to some extent, just try to keep things with at least a hand in plausibility. Powerplaying is allowed. However, it cannot affect players between tasks. For instance, you cannot have a servants contract a disease and be unable to speak, or even die. You can have them be sick during the task, but you cannot impede them during the Sessions before the Overlord.
Normally, the Gamemaster will have technology restricting servants to a base during the game to prevent physically roleplaying and keep the game focused on its purpose. Overlords can powerplay.
Also, you cannot use an excuse like being brainwashed or cloned during the task. You are you-and you are responsible for what you did wrong.
Remember to keep things civil, stay inside the board rules, keep all hands and legs inside the game until it comes to a complete stop.
And all the previous rounds are here. I'd recommend reading through one to get familiar with the game if you haven't played before. Or if you want to remember some old fun.
Overlords Order's I (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=722.0)
Overlord's Orders II (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=888.0)
Overlord's Orders III (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=948.0)
Overlord's Orders IV (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1088.0)
Overlord's Orders V (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1246.0)
Overlord's Orders VI (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1549.0)
Special Holiday Round 2012 (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=3022.0)
Overlord's Orders VII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=3361.0)
Overlord's Orders VIII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4241.0)
Overlord's Orders IX (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6441.0)
Sign-ups:1. rachel25
2. Tam and Martin
3. James Gryphon
4. PluggFiretail
5. Izeroth
6. Tiria Wildlough
7. CornflowerMM
8.
9.
10.
IF I can write short posts, then I'll join. I'd like to make sure I can, though.
Quote from: Cornflower MM on August 27, 2014, 03:25:33 PM
IF I can write short posts, then I'll join. I'd like to make sure I can, though.
Any post length is fine (besides really long).
I'll join this one, cus the last one I was in never actually finished, so I'll give it another try. ;D
Sign me up!!!!
I'm in.
I'd like to ask if we're going to include the "Gryphon rule" of a 750 IC word limit -- like I said, I looked through some of (what I think were) the best rounds, and none of the posts they made back then seemed to be longer than that.
Yes, though I don't imagine it will apply very often. I'll go ahead and edit that in to the formal rules at 750.
I'll join!
Could I join this?
Ok then, I'm in!!
I'm in too!
You need to add Corny to the list.
Alright, we're going to get started most likely sometime tomorrow. Last chance for sign-ups
And yes, I'm officially in. A little late to clarify here, but I got sidetracked yesterday.
Ok, so when are we gonna start?
OOC: Now! Sign-ups closed.
Tagg was an Overlord. Or at least that is what he had been told when he was the last servant standing, and subsequently pulled a blue lever and pushed a green button. It was halfway through the neural download that he got the funny feeling that pushing green buttons was somehow wrong. Overlord instinct, he decided. The secret base the other Overlord told him about turned out to be just another ship, but a much better one. He docked and boarded the new craft, finding it small yet highly compact yet with the most efficient layout in terms of practicality and space he could have imagined. The most important aspect of the ship was its computer database.
Within two hours he was seated on the bridge and cruising to a base he had picked out from the database. It was a large, sprawling complex built just over the surface of a blue giant. It was well coveted and very expensive, recently built and never used. It was the perfect location for an Overlord's abode, containing plenty of complicated corridors and endless rooms for everything imaginable. The central chamber was ideal for interviewing and briefing servants due to its circular shape, though the schematics showed the room currently mostly empty, offline and unfurnished.
That, however, would be easily amended. He liked the chair on the bridge and decided he would disconnect it and move it to the chamber. When he arrived at the new base and docked, it was the first change he made. He was just inside a few hours, inspecting all the devices and information the platform contained when the lights went out. When they came back on, a shadowy figure was seated on his recently installed chair, tinkering with controls and panels and generally looking both bemused and callous. Tagg approached the central chamber, but his feet immediately became sealed to the floor once he entered past the door to the Overlord's Chair Room. The figure stopped tampering and looked up at the aspiring Overlord.
"It's nothing personal, but I just always hated this part of my job. Well, my old job anyway. And my job again, with any luck. But is a profession you engage in for the good it does the universe and yourself really a job? You'll have about 20 years to figure that out once you're aboard one of this wonderful base's transports. It's the slowest of them all, thus quite expendable, and you'll have nowhere to go for all that time.
"But yes, I am not training you. You see, the training part is kind of silly. We have enough peripheral Overlords as far as I am concerned. And as far as O. Lear is concerned. And that's what counts as you should understand by now. And without further ado..."
Tagg vanished. He was now aboard a transport ship. He probably still is.
A couple days later...
The Overlord, not dealing with inferior forms of address, was seated on his new chair, gazing down at the servants gathered around him. He had worked overtime and had fully furnished this new base into a true masterpiece of a lair. He kept his hands always on several panels to his left and right, which were in addition to other panels behind his chair and beside it, and across most of the wall on the far end of the chamber, away from the servants. This was not for a functional reason like keeping servants from tampering with them, since the servants' feet were kept frozen to the floor by the cold breathes of a dozen Ice Penguins kept the deck below as part of a project. He had just engaged it once the servants arrayed themselves in the room. He wasted no (more) time and addressed the gathering.
"I need someone. Not just anyone, but my old teacher himself: Robert Manson. You might be familiar with him. He has had a hand in half a dozen key inventions and de-inventions. He went missing while investigating a mysterious floating rock on the planet Earth. It was, shall we say, more than a rock. My intelligence says it was likely a Rockmonster. If you're wondering why Manson wouldn't have known he was going to meet a Rockmonster before going, it is because it was in disguise, as a floating rock. They never usually float, you see. You all are to take a transport ship from the hangar, get to Earth after a day or so, and find Robert Manson by tracking from the coordinates of the rock where he went missing. Any questions? Of course you do. But you don't have the time or mental capacities to understand the answers. Off you go."
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"Rockmonsters don't like water. You left with tons of water on that transport. And yet you all look like you were beaten up by an army of Rockmonsters. And no Robert Manson. But no matter, he can likely take care of himself anyway. I'll just have to try and reach him later. Now explain yourselves!"
Your lordness! Its all TaMs fault. You see he was in charge of the ship I was in. But he kept falling asleep while driving. After the sixth time that he fell asleep we crashed into an off course star. The doors all got blown off and we lost all our water! OOC i think i understood the first post. But if that doesnt make sense ill delete it.
James Gryphon, or 'Gryph', as he was known, quietly began to speak. "Your Majesty, Rachel skipped quite a bit of the story in her desperate attempt to exonerate herself -- Tam might have been tired, but he had good reason to be. I can attest that he hadn't had any sleep for the past hundred hours, no thanks to the other servants. Let me go back to the beginning and it will all begin to make sense."
"Right after we got in the transport, Tiria started bossing everyone around, saying that she clearly knew what to do better than the rest of us because she had run a Gal-Space-Mart one time. I was unsure as to how this experience related to commanding a starship, and said so, but she hit me, and said "thus is the fate of all those who defy my orders". Then she sat down in the command chair and started flipping switches and pressing buttons seemingly at random, saying, "I wonder what these do?"
"Tam, who knows all about starships, was able to convince her to let him take over the ship's controls, but she continued giving us orders. She told Izeroth to go fill up all of the "spare decks" with water, saying that we would need as much of it as possible for hygiene and drinking purposes. I tried to point out that rockmonsters desperately hated water and would attack us if they found out we had so much of it on the ship, but Plugg contradicted me. In fact, for the entire mission, he just followed me around and loudly disagreed with everything that I said."
"Anyway, we launched out into space. Tam was competently flying the ship, with me serving as his co-pilot and computer operator. We were well on our way to Earth, when Cornflower ran in. She said, "Look at all the pretty lights!," giggled, and started trying to push all of the dangerous green and red buttons. After Tam locked down the controls, she started screaming, and wouldn't stop. Tam got sick of it and told me to lock her in the brig, which I did. However, while I was gone, Rachel went in and started doing the same thing. When I came back, Tam told me to throw her in the brig, which I did, but when I got there, Izeroth had let Cornflower out, and she was back bothering Tam again. It's worth mentioning that my tasks went very slowly, because Plugg was following me trying to undo everything I did."
"This went on for the rest of the trip. We couldn't leave the control room because our 'fellow servants' made it very clear they intended to play with the ship's controls if we ever left them unattended. In between tormenting us, Corn and Rachel drank all of the super-coffee, so they were awake the whole time, while me and Tam only got more and more tired."
"Well, we finally passed Pluto, but were attacked by the invisible rockmonster fleet that was in orbit there. Their commander said they detected water, and that all water must be destroyed. They boarded our ship and fought us (or rather, fought me, Tam, and Tiria; everyone else ran and hid under their beds. I have no clue how they got injured from not fighting). Anyway, we repelled the boarders, but then our ship started getting pelted with asteroids, and it became impossible to go any further. Tam decided that we needed to retreat. We were chased by rock ships for several days, with Corn and Rachel screaming in our ears the whole time."
"Well, we got away. Tam was completely worn out at this point; the loud noise was the only thing keeping him up. When Rachel and Corny finally stopped screaming, he began to drift off to sleep. I tried to help keep him awake, but Rachel, Corn and Plugg ganged up on me and threw me into the brig. It shouldn't come as any surprise, then, that the ship came to the disaster that it did. I'm not sure why so many of your servants seemed determined to sabotage the mission the way they did."
Yes, Overlord, I attest to that. I fell asleep at the wheel because no one would let me have the supernatural coffee and then they refused to not take over as captain of the ship so Gryph and I had to be forced to do it, as tired as we were.
Yes, that may be true Over Lord, but Plugg tricked me, and Cornflower into drinking the supernatural coffee. He told us it was fizzy apple juice, so we drank it all. But he had done something to the supernatural coffee which made it extra strong.
But after we hit the off course star, Gryph broke out of the brig, and tried to throw us all out of the ship. Including the asleep TaM.
OOC:Whoops, I think I violated the game rules with this post, so I shall make a new one
OOC: @rachel: I'm not quite sure that I understand your post. Why would I have drank all of the supernatural coffee when I was trying to get you and Cornflower to drink it?
OOC: Plugg, I think it was a typo...
'Your Lordship, I can explain. I was not 'bossing everyone around' as Gryph said, but simply trying to restore some order--everyone was being quite noisy, you know, and it was getting on my nerves.
To shut them up, I told them I had run a Gal-Space-Mart once. Please don't ask me what that is, because I made it up on the spot to get them to be quiet.
Gryph was being difficult about it, so I gave him a playful slap on the shoulder, and said 'thus is the fate of those who defy my orders'. I meant it as a joke, but he took it personally for some reason. He's like that.
I have seen a spaceship control panel before, and I knew which buttons were important and which were actually dangerous. But I didn't actually know how to work the thing, so I just pressed random harmless buttons to make it look like I did. After all, our crew needed a strong leader and it seemed like I was the only one who actually cared. But Tam insisted that he ought to work the controls, so I let him, since he knew more about it than me.
After that, the mission descended into chaos. I just decided to fade into the background. They obviously wanted to fail and kill us all.
I did try to fight the rock monsters, and got a minor concussion which put me out of action for the rest of the time. But I'm better now, see?'
OOC: I'm gonna have to bow out gracefully from this one. Sorry, guys!
Quote from: PluggFiretail on September 05, 2014, 03:41:35 AM
OOC: @rachel: I'm not quite sure that I understand your post. Why would I have drank all of the supernatural coffee when I was trying to get you and Cornflower to drink it?
OOC: It was a typo. Sorry for the confusion.
BIC: Lord, I only ran Izeroth over, because I was hallucinating after drinking so much supernatural coffee. Then I thought I ort to tidy the ship up because it was such a mess. So I went around trying to clean up, but Tiria kept following me around with a bucket of mud, and messing it all up again. So I got really angry.
It is true that I let Cornflower out, but it was not with bad intentions! I was told to let Cornflower out by Plugg, who, when asked why, simply told me "it was necessary." After I let Cornflower out, she punched me in the face, knocking me out. I have no idea why Plug ordered me to do it-I suppose he just wanted some excitement.
After I woke up, I found our ship under attack by rock monsters. I would have helped the defense effort, but when I went to my bunk to get my pistol, I was superglued to the ground by Rachel! I screamed for help, but no one would listen. I remained superglued to the ground like this for the rest of the trip.
Quote from: rachel25 on September 05, 2014, 05:23:22 PM
BIC: Lord, I only ran Izeroth over, because I was hallucinating after drinking so much supernatural coffee. Then I thought I ort to tidy the ship up because it was such a mess. So I went around trying to clean up, but Tiria kept following me around with a bucket of mud, and messing it all up again. So I got really angry.
'I forgot to explain that. The mud was just lying around the ship, so I followed Rachel around with it in a bucket, trying to show her what a mess the ship was. I will admit that I spilled some, messing up her work.'
I didn't mean to superglue Izeroth to the floor. I was going around cleaning, and I saw how dirty Izeroth's shoes were. I thought the superglue was cleaning liquid. And the reason I didn't hear was I had headphones in. Its what I always do while I'm cleaning, it gets me in the zone.
OOC: Round will be closing tomorrow. Got about 24 hours for more posts
"Well, clearly you all had a nice spot of fun out in that quaint solar system. It's a shame that fun never even got remotely close to your task. But it's not surprising you did so poorly, given your propensity to goof off and not prepare. Don't you know Rockmonsters are dangerous? Well, no matter, most of you can be useful to me again."
The lights dimmed and became blue, adding a chilling feeling to the room. A crashed sounded out in the hall, and a book flew in from a previously unseen, hidden door. The book hit pluggfiretail square on the head, and he toppled over backwards, straight into a waiting shaft in the floor. The shaft went somewhere. At least, the Overlord thought it linked up to some brig or transport pod in the base.
A day later, the five remaining servants were arrayed before the Overlord, awaiting instructions.
"Remember Earth? Of course you do, you're all originally from there, at one point in time or another. Anyway, you're going back. You're not going to try and find someone again though. You're going to find yourselves, like you never have before and as is required on a daring mission where all you will have is your wits and each other to rely on. No, just kidding, that would get you all killed almost immediately. You'll have a powerful drone from my arsenal to accompany you as you track down a stolen blueprint. The drone's name is Dill and he is very capable. I need the blueprints for something none of you will ever have anything to do with, with any luck. You'll find the blueprints in the Quantum Hotel, twelfth floor, first room on the right from the elevator. There will be a safe marked 'Kitchen explosives'. I have it on mildly good authority that is a mislabel."
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A day had past and the servants were once again before the Overlord. They were there for three hours before the Overlord finished with whatever it was he was doing on the panels in the chamber. It would have been a good guess it was supposed to give them time to reflect and gather their thoughts so as to have a more effective post-mission discussion. In reality, it was because the Ice Penguins' breathes had been growing hotter recently and the servants' feet weren't properly secured to the floor, though they didn't know that. The Overlord gave the penguins time to get chillier breathes, instead of, say, engaging a little artificial cool to supplement them with a push of a button.
"You should all be cooler now than when you first arrived, fresh from your newest glorious success. What's that? No blueprints? Explain yourselves!"
Well.....you see sir its all TaM's fault. On the way to Earth he was throwing things at Dill. So wheb we reached earth, and headed for the hotel Dill was very angry. But then TaM throw a snowball at Dill, and Dill lost it. He began chasing TaM and blowing stuff up.
I tried to stop Tam from throwing thins at Dill, but he refused to listen to me. I told the others that we should try to calm Dill down, but they absolutely refused to listen to me as well. Once we got on Earth and Dill began blowing stuff up, I was forced to grab his power cell and turn him off. (all the others were running around screaming of course)
Quote from: rachel25 on September 09, 2014, 12:30:01 PM
Well.....you see sir its all TaM's fault. On the way to Earth he was throwing things at Dill. So wheb we reached earth, and headed for the hotel Dill was very angry. But then TaM throw a snowball at Dill, and Dill lost it. He began chasing TaM and blowing stuff up.
OOC: I really didn't understand this post "But then TaM throw a snowball at Dill, and Dill lost it". Mind explaining?
BIC: The reason I was throwing stuff at Dill was because I saw several poisonous microscopic insects on him - Parasites that were using it as a host. The reason I couldn't just take them off was because Rachel had been telling Dill several lies about me like that I was treacherous and deceitful so Dill wouldn't allow me to get close to itself. Knowing that the insects would eventually eat up Dill, I had to throw things on him to protect it from being destroyed. Dill though, thanks to Rachel's nonsense, wasn't going to allow me to get close to him. That explains that.
When we got to the hotel, Dill was even madder at me because Izeroth told it "See? You can't trust him. He is trying to destroy you.". When Dill heard that he tried to chase me around the place. I couldn't help it. I had thrown a snowball at him before to try to rid it of the parasites when last time and that did it. He chased me even harder and I screamed for someone to help. James, Thankfully, came to the rescue and got Dill under control.
That explains it Lord.
OOC: "lose it", in this context, is "to get angry; to lose one's temper."
Tagg@: I know that Cornflower said she had to bow out, but since she did it mid-game, is she still available for blame/elimination?
Gryph, who had been watching Rachel, Izeroth and Tam, shook his head and sighed. "There y'all go again."
He paused for dramatic effect, then continued. "Like I repeatedly tried to tell everyone, to no avail, this entire incident could have been avoided with just a little bit of due caution. Tiria warned us, when we first saw Dill on the ship, that his model of combat drone is extremely gullible and will believe anything that their allies tell them. But Rachel disagreed with her, and said she was going to "prove Tiria was wrong". Then she ran up to Dill and told him, "Okay, everyone here are your friends, except that guy", pointing to Tam. "He's a dangerous prisoner. We need to make sure he doesn't escape."
"Well, he powered up his weapons, and kept them trained on Tam. Rachel laughed, said "Isn't that funny!", and then went into the bathroom, "to do her hair". I tried to talk Dill out of believing what Rachel told him, as he insisted on guarding Tam in the brig, and wouldn't think of letting Tam fly the ship. However, I heard the computer say over the intercom "Self-destruct sequence activated", so I left them to go to the control room to see what was wrong."
"As it turned out, Izeroth was there, pressing the destruct button over and over again. I got him out of the way, cancelled the destruct sequence, and took the controls, but because he insisted on 'helping' me, I didn't have any more time to try to rescue Tam, and had to stay there for the rest of our flight to make sure our voyage was safe. Izeroth passed the time by imitating our fellow servants. He did say "Ooh, we should try to calm Dill down, he might hurt me", while he was mimicking Tam's voice. Obviously, while I thought that Dill did need calming, I didn't take Izeroth's statement as an indication that he was inclined to help do anything about it."
"When we landed outside the hotel, and were getting ready to leave the ship, I noticed Tiria slip a canister into her purse. When I asked her about it, she said, "Oh, that holds my venomous microscopic bugs. They can eat anything. I keep them for emergencies.""
"Anyway, we got the blueprints without any difficulty, and gave them to Tam, figuring that he should be safe enough, with Dill guarding him. It seemed like we would get away without any trouble, but then Tam threw the snowball, Izeroth said what he did (albeit, while making fun of Rachel), and Dill's self-preservation routines kicked in, causing him to try to exterminate Tam. It was very loud due to the plasgun fire, and we were all screaming conflicting orders at Dill. I was able to convince him to hold his fire at first, but then Tiria screamed, "Don't listen to anyone else, they don't know what they're talking about." Then she said, "Shoot anything around the prisoner." So Dill started blowing up everything next to Tam, including the blueprints Tam was holding. With Dill's attention focused on his target, Izeroth took his power cell out, and Dill disintegrated, which, incidentally, also destroyed the photographic copy of the blueprints he had in his memory banks."
"So, that is why we had to come back empty-handed. I trust that your Majesty can tell who is to blame for this debacle."
OOC: No, she's out of the game
It is true that I told Dill TaM was our prisoner, but only because I thought Dill would protect him. Because then we could give him the blueprints. And when I went to the bathroom to do my hair, I found Izeroth in there playing with a grenade. So I took the grenade off him, and chased him out, and told him to go, and sit in the control room.
Later, when Dill's power cell had been taken out, Izeroth began playing with grenades again. He blew the power cell up, and the entire hotel. And whilst that was happening Tiria was skipping around throwing her bugs everywhere!
I was pressing the destruct button because Tam had sprayed me in the eyes with mace and destruct looked like "change settings" to me. I was trying to change Dill's settings to make him less angry, you see.
I went to the bathroom to find some soap to wash my hands, but found that some fool had left an active grenade in there. I, being the explosives expert I am, managed to pull out the fuss before it could detonate, but then Rachel came in and started screaming that I was trying to kill us! She took the grenade off me and threw me in the control room.
I was making sarcastic remarks because Tiria thought it would be funny to use the sarcasm-gas spray can on me. She just sat there laughing while I succumbed to its effects.
Later, when Dill was shooting, I attempted to grab Dill's power switch and turn him off. Rachel then came out and said "catch!", throwing the very same activated grenade at me. I grabbed it and tried to fix it, but it was so messed up that there was no repairing it. It exploded and destroyed Dill, of course.
'Overlord, when I shouted at Dill not to listen and to shoot everyone, I was simply so frustrated at everyone that I yelled, and it came out louder than I thought. I tend to lose my temper when people don't cooperate, but it was certainly not my fault in this case. In between other frustrating acts, Tam had been constantly poking me during our trip. He seemed to think it was funny, but it triggered my nervous condition. So you cannot blame me for being at my wits' end by the time I yelled at Dill.
I did think it would be funny to use the sarcasm-spray gun on Izeroth, because I was extremely stressed and needed a laugh. It worked--I felt immediately better. I was not aware that it would cause trouble.
I wasn't actually throwing my microscopic bugs around. Rachel must have been mistaken. They are, after all, microscopic. I was actually trying to dodge the bombs, while feeling in my purse to see if the bugs were okay. It may have looked like I was throwing something, but I wasn't.'
OOC: Round will be closing tomorrow. Last chance for more defenses. Really happy how things are shaping up this round.
My lord, I did not mean to throw the grenade at Izeroth. I reached into my satchel and picked it up, thinking it was a power cell reseter-thing. But instead it was the grenade, which I had given to Tiria, but she then gave it back to me, disguised as a cupcake. She thought it would be funny to see me eat an explosive, and see me blow up. It was only because I was busy, that I didn't eat it
'I actually disguised it as a cupcake so that no one would see it was a grenade and throw it around. I did mean to disable it, but I'm not sure if it worked.'
Well, My Lord, it appears I need to explain.
First off, I had sprayed Izeroth with the mace spray (BIC:I do not know what that is but I will guess. If my description isn't right just tell me) because he was looking really tired, like he was going to fall asleep. On the back of the can it said "Can be used to keep tired people awake." So I figured I would use it. Izeroth got all mad at me though because he said he wasn't tired at all even though he had several rings around his eyes.
Now, Why I had been poking Tiria is a different story. Remember earlier how I was saying that there were microscopic bugs on Dill? Well I thought I might have seen one on Tiria - Scurrying around on her. I tried poking it off. After awhile, she got really mad with me and I said to her "Just one more poke and it will be off." So I poked her once more and killed the bug. Then I laughed with victory because I had finally succeeded with killing it. Also, it wasn't me that triggered her nervous system. That was the bug. As soon as I got the bug off, her nervous condition ended - So did my finger which is why she thought it was my finger that caused her nervous system to react. That was the end of that. She never understood why I was doing it though because then Rachel came up and yelled in our ears a bunch of strange words like
"Must go to the sore and drive our doughnut to the cheesy smiley"
Why she said that, I am not sure.
I hope that sheds some more light on the subject.
A light flashed, and complete silence fell over the room. One of the computer screens in the large chamber powered up and an image of a giant eye surrounded by two wheels flickered on it briefly, and then a small explosion sounded from one of the adjacent corridors. The screen went dark and turned off, thanks to some fast button-pressing from the Overlord. He was genuinely surprised by the intrusion via one of the overhanging monitors but decided to ignore it for now.
"I am greatly displeased by the failure to acquire those blueprints. But honestly, it is immensely clear to me how this mission failed as spectacularly as it managed to. Lying to Dill? And getting him destroyed. I liked that drone. This couldn't have gone worse, you should all know."
The Overlord pressed three buttons in rapid succession, all of them big and blue. The doors opened and two drones rode in, on a straight course to rachel25 and sucked her into a tubular vault they carried between them. They proceeded to cruise out of the room and away to their small transport ship.
"I'm told the drone-makers of Rigel Zero are in need of making their drones more people-friendly. They've requested volunteers to serve as consultants on how humans behave and communicate. I'm sure a human who served an Overlord will be an excellent addition to the lineup."
A day later, the four servants were before the Overlord to receive new orders.
"It just so happens, a time-travelling horologist I meet once was able to break a prisoner out of jail one time. He did this by bribing the guard of the prison and getting a cupcake into the facility. If it wasn't for the prisoner actually eating the cupcake after removing the hidden key from it and quite literally leaving a trail of breadcrumbs, he wouldn't have had any trouble getting out and escaping. Anyway, I need a cake. Not a cupcake mind you, it needs to be much larger. I will need a very specifically shaped cake in all dimensions."
The Overlord held up quite a large bronze key and continued. "Make sure you follow the directions meticulously. It is imperative the cake meet the exact dimensions and composition as is written in the cookbook. Head to the base's kitchens and get to work. Report back in three hours."
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There was not a cake in the Overlord's chamber. However, there were four flour-covered servants in the room with bits of paper, frosting and eggshells coating them.
"I see no cake, and yet somehow you lot have enough cake supplies on you to bake a few extra. Why is there no cake here?"
Gryph attempted to brush some of the cooking materials off of his shirt, and replied, "I'm ashamed by our failure to achieve this objective. It was childish, careless, and most of all, cavalier behavior that brought this mission to ruin. I must stress, however, that I did everything in my power to prevent this from becoming the disaster it was."
"Let me start from the beginning. Tiria took over the kitchen, saying that boys don't know anything about cooking, and she didn't want to risk having us mess everything up. Izeroth and Tam were on board with that plan, and decided to spend the time by seeing who could eat the most leftovers from the nearby fridge. I was a little surprised by Izeroth's lack of interest, considering that he told me while we were in the cockpit last mission that his father was a gourmet baker, and he had always wanted to follow in his footsteps."
Some flour fell onto Gryph's glasses; he paused to remove and try to clean them off before continuing.
"Then, I overheard Tiria asking herself "so how do you bake a cake, anyway?" I suggested that she use the recipe from your Majesty's cookbook, which I had helpfully procured from the nearby shelf. Tiria, however, said that the cookbook was evil, and she had no intention of doing anything it recommended. I admit that this puzzled me, since I had quickly read over the instructions and it seemed like a perfectly normal recipe to me, but in the interest of keeping her calm, I politely asked what she wanted to do. She said, "Well, I'll just throw something together.""
"So she began to throw stuff together... quite literally, ripping flour and sugar bags apart and throwing the entire mess in the general direction of the mixing bowl. As you can see, more of it got on us than in the bowl. I tried to tell her that this might not be the best way of preparing it, but she said that we needed to hurry, punctuating her remark by throwing six eggs in, not bothering to take the time to deshell them. Then, she put the whole thing, bowl and all, in the microwave. When I tried to persuade her that might not be a good idea, she threatened me with a spray can of Vision-B-Gone. Since I needed my eyesight, I was forced to stand back and watch as the bowl exploded, throwing everything that had been inside onto us. It took half a hour just to clean the kitchen up enough to make it usable again. Tiria refused to do any more work, so I had to do all the cleaning myself."
"By this time, Tam had apparently won the contest. He lumbered into the kitchen, saying, "And now for a snack". He actually prepared and made a cake that fit your specifications, in less than an hour. I was amazed by his superhuman speed and efficiency, and said so. He thanked me, burped, and then proceeded to grab a huge chunk out of the cake and gulp it down."
"There were only eighty minutes left at this point, just enough time to make another cake to your specifications. I decided that I would have to bake it myself. Just when I had prepared the mix, Izeroth rushed in, saying, "You're doing it wrong." I knew that he was more experienced than me, and offered to let him take over, but he declined, saying "Go ahead, but it isn't right". He refused to give me any help or clue as to what he thought the problem was, so I assumed he was just being strange, and went ahead and baked the cake. As soon as I had laid it on the counter, though, he threw it on the ground and stomped on it, saying "It makes a good floor mat". Then he filled a pan with frosting, explaining "Frosting is the only ingredient needed for a cake". He took it, and started to leave to deliver it to you, but Tiria looked at it, and pointed out that it was pathetic as a cake. "I think it'd be better decorating your face", she said. Tam yelled "Cake ingredient fight", and, well, you can guess what happened next."
It's true that I was trying to clean the fridge of leftovers, but that's only because gryphon had prevented me from eating for the last ten hours and I was really hungry. He said he was rationing food or such nonsense. It is true that I told Gryphon he was making the cake wrong, but I didn't take over because I was not experienced with that type of cake. At that point, I remembered that I had some insta-cake icing in my pocket. Insta-cake icing forms an entire cake in moments, but unfortunately they all messed up my cake before it had time to expand properly.
OOC: LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLLLLL! YOUR POST JAMES!!!! That is so like me to do what you said I did! I LOVE IT!!!!
BIC: My Lord, it looks like there needs to be more explaining to be done.
When we got to the kitchens, We began on making the cake. Tiria though, insisted she make the cake having had experience doing it before. We let her do knowing she probably did.
I had nothing to do so I moved to the fridge and looked inside of it. There was ALOT of food inside so I carried on to clean it out. I saw lots of interesting types of food. Well, Izeroth came in then and he asked if he could have some food to eat claiming 'Gryph starved me on the trip here'. It didn't sound like something James would do but I didn't know so I didn't argue and gave him some food. Then I pulled out a pack of food and looked on the top of it. There was a lot of green and white mold on the top of the one piece food so I set it down on the table in disgust.
Now Overlord, I do not believe I have mentioned this ability I have before. This ability is that of being able to eat practically anything without having any harm one to me.
Izeroth did not know of this so he said to me "I bet you can't eat moldy food". I said I could and he said "Prove it". So I did. I ate that thing hen he said "Here's some more! Eat it!" So I did knowing that if I didn't eat it it would be thrown out and wasted.
To the watching eye, it would appear that we were having a food competition. It wasn't entirely so though. I was just trying to clean up and help out.
Soon after eating the moldy food, I went into the kitchen where James and Tiria were, to see how they were doing. Absolute Chaos. James already had explained what happened with Tiria so I have no need to go into detail. Anyway, I said to James while passing by "And now for a snack!" I do not think he heard the rest of what I said though because I finished that saying "I have to have some real food to wash down the moldy stuff". So I did.
I began to make two cakes. One for your majesty, the other for myself. Your majesty's cake I whipped together so quick that no one even knew I made it. The other one though, I ate.
Now, what happened to the other one? Well, I put it on the windowsill to sit for a few minutes but then Izeroth and Tiria got into A fight over whether Sugar or Splenda is better to use and Tiria pushed Izeroth down to the floor. To fight back, Izeroth kicked Tiria into the cake, destroying it.
Well, because they knocked over my special cake for your majesty, I then yelled out an accidental bad word that sounded alot like "Food fight". It was my accident in saying that because then Tiria, and Gryph, and Izeroth all started to throw food at me. I was yellign out, trying to explain what had happened but none of them would cease.
I suffered there for a few minutes then they stopped seeing that I wasn't fighting back.
I then was upset at their childishness and decided to go try to make another cake but Izeroth wouldn't let me have the ingredients. Hence I was forced to be stuck doing nothing except watching and asking to help. None of them were making much progress though.
That is all Lord.
OOC: I don't think I broke the Gryphon rule though if I did tell me please.
I found out that Tiria was trying to put hundred year old Splenda on the cake. I told her to stop it, but of course she ignored me and we got in a fight. After we fought, I found out that Tam was trying to use frog legs in his cake! I was forced to hold the ingredients back so he would not go through with this.
Ahem sir, I beg to say a word. I was using Frog legs in MY cake, not your majesties. I tried to tell him that but he still wouldn't let me have them. We already all know why your majesties cake was ruined *Glares at Tiria and Izeroth*
Ah, that brings me to another thing. While Tam should have been helping, he was busily making his own cake, which he intended to eat. When I told him he needed to help us, he said "My cake is way better than yours" and threw a frog leg at me.
Aha! But I had already made the perfect cake for the Overlord. You were the one that was the cause of smothering it and knocking (Well, you and Tiria). I had to make myself a cake to wash down the mold. There is nothing wrong with eating a cake myself as long as I already had completed the one for the Overlord (Which I did). If there is any explaining that needs to be done, My Lord, it needs to be from Izeroth and Tiria about ruining my perfect cake that was ready for you.
Also, I threw the Frog leg at you because you were complaining earlier that you were so hungry and that Gryphon had starved you. I threw it at you to be nice to you and give you something to eat.
I also refused to help them because they were in total chaos: Throwing food at eachother, yelling etc.
You see, Overlord, I did do as you commanded. If anyone needs to explain anything it is Tiria and Izeroth.
'Okay, so an explanation is in order. Well, I thought to myself that the only way to get this right would be to bake the cake myself, with no one helping. I don't actually know how to bake cakes, but I do know a way to make a perfect cake, only it involves mess and a lot of 100-year-old Splenda. I thought that if I told no one, they wouldn't bother me. I was probably wrong.
Anyway, I forgot whether to use a microwave or an oven, and I chose the microwave. There was a 50/50 chance and I got it wrong. Oh, well.
I do tend to get crabby when cooking anything, so I apologize to the people I yelled at or attacked while in the kitchen. Everyone started fighting and it kind of went downward from there. I'm very sorry.'
"Directions are crucial. I see my directions were not followed very well by most of you, and I will very soon need very direction-following servants."
An alarm sounded. A bright light flashed, and when it dissipated, leaving only three servants in the chamber. James Gryphon, Tam and Izeroth were immediately dismissed from the chamber to their quarters. It was several days until they were recalled back to the Overlord.
In that time, a green orb had, each night, been seen zooming around the corridors and catwalks, each time with a log or rope magically floating behind him. At other times there was a small furry brown creature roaming about, carrying a stick or strap of cloth in its mouth. At one point, there was a sound of roaring water that filled the entire solar platform for the duration of the night. The next morning, on the way to the Overlord's chamber, the corridor from the servants' quarters was glistening with drops of water. In the chamber itself, a beaten up and generally wet raft was crumpled to the Overlord's right.
"Simple assignment today, servants. So listen up, you might be able to understand this one. I need to secure for a few friends a guidebook to raft-building. Get on a transport, and find the nearest store you can. Any appropriate guidebook from any galaxy will do. Just don't steal it. I don't want a bunch of other thieves flocking here looking for jobs."
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24 hours later, the servants were gathered together before the Overlord.
"I have a guide to spaceship building, the complete 24 volume set of how to build the perfect sandwich and a paper detailing the proper construction of a solar platform above a blue giant. Not only are these all not what I asked for, they are all incredibly useless. Well, besides one. I could probably make use of that at some point. Now, one of you can start detailing how you failed to acquire a raft-building guidebook for me."
We went to guide-mart to get it, but we were asked to leave because Tam started a fight with one of the clerks. I think it was over whether tomatoes are a fruit or not. Anyway, I decided the next-best option would be to travel to guides-r-us, which the others agreed to.
On the journey to guides-r-us, James Gryphon told me that he was hungry and that we should stop at a fast-food restaurant. I thought that was fine, and we stopped at the local burger joint. While there, Gryphon took forever to choose what he wanted. By the time he chose his burger, the guides-r-us closed.
Well, Overlord, There needs to be some explaining.
We went to Guides-mart to do your bidding. We walked into the store and began looking for guides. I also noticed that tomatoes were on sale at the back of the store so, knowing that you, Overlord, love tomatoes, I decided to buy you some saying "James, Izeroth, find the manual while I get these tomatoes." When I said that though, They nodded and James went off to the 'How to build a Raft guidebook' selection but Izeroth went to the 'Spaceship 24 volume collection'. Not sure why Izeroth went there even when I had asked them to look for the raft manual.
Anyway, back to the tomatoes.
I had bought several of them for you and then I saw a poster. The poster read in big bold letters, "TOMATOES ARE REALLY A FRUIT!". I bought it seeing as it was free.
I soon found out why it was free.
The clerk (also the owner of the store) came up to me and yelled at me "YOU CAN'T BY THIS! TOMATOES ARE REALLY A VEGETABLE! THIS SIGN IS WRONG" I told him it didn't matter and that I could get it anyway.
He ignored me - For then.
I went over to see James and he had just found the manual you needed. Izeroth came back with two manuals 'How to Build a spaceship 24 volume collection' and 'How to build the perfect sandwich and a paper detailing the proper construction of a solar platform above a blue giant'.
James handed me the manual to by and we began checking out. Izeroth insisted he check out his own manuals himself though. James and I went first. When the clerk saw us, he exploded in rage and smashed the tomatoes and ripped the sign. We then asked if we could buy the manual atleast and he ripped that too.
Izeroth then smirked at us and said "Atleast the overlord will be happy with my purchase"
The clerk let Izeroth check out with ease before forcing us out of the building. Izeroth then had a good idea and said "Let's go check guides-r-us".
So we did.
On the way though, James wanted to stop for a burger. I am not going to go into detail here for I will let James say that for himself. Anyway, it took us several hours (I am not exactly sure why) and by that time guides-r-us had closen. James and I suggested we tried to go check another store but Izeroth said that the Overlord would be happy with his purchase anyway. So, I went along with it.
I believe that is all Overlord.
"I admit there is truth to these stories. It's just too bad that Tam and Izzy conveniently left out all the details that would have shown where the blame really belongs."
"I saw that the clerk/owner seemed upset when he saw Tam, and suggested that it might be a good idea for Tam to leave and for me to check our stuff out, but Tam said, "No need for that; I already picked your pocket, so you don't have any money to do it with anyway." Then everything unfolded as he told. I do think it should have been obvious that the owner would have been easily angered, as there was a sign at the front proclaiming the store was now the leading donor to the "Tomatoes Are Vegetables" campaign, but I guess Tam wasn't paying attention to that.
"As mentioned, Izeroth then proposed we go to Guides-R-Us. What he and Tam left out is that he insisted we do so only after we eat, because he "needed food". For some reason, he's been insisting that I've been trying to starve him ever since I took that bag of "edible creepy crawly bugs" (which move around, and sabotage starship controls) from him, two missions back. Tam chimed in that food was essential for a growing boy, and also that we needed to "commemorate the loss of tomatoes at the hands of the store owner". Not wanting to provoke them, I grudgingly assented that I was "kinda hungry". I suggested one of my favorite fast burger joints, knowing that they usually have good, quick service, with the hope that we could be in and out in twenty minutes, well before the guide store's closing time. Alas, it was not to be."
"When we got in (Izeroth insisted we eat in, even though I had pointed out that the drive-thru would be quicker), Tam and Izeroth pushed ahead of me and got their orders in first. In the process of doing so, they bothered the clerk so badly that she went to the back to have a good cry, and sent the emergency service robot out to take her place. Tam told the robot that I was blind, and needed the menu read to me, in fifteen different languages, to make sure I understood. I protested, but the robot had already started, and couldn't be stopped. When it was done, I knew that we were going to be too late for me to get anything much less eat it, and suggested they just finish up and we go, but Izeroth said, "Oh no, far be it from me to starve a friend, I'm not like that, unlike some people I know...", and insisted that we stay and I eat until I was full, no matter how long it took. Then Tam said I needed to get something with tomatoes, and asked the robot to read the menu all over again, so I could get a "true tomato treat". I proposed something, but Izeroth said that it wasn't enough food. By the time I was able to find something that both Tam and Izeroth were okay with me eating, the Guides-R-Us had closed."
"Once we had finally gotten back in the vehicle, Izeroth claimed that we should go back to base, as Tam mentioned. Tam yawned, said "That's cool", put on a headset, and zoned out. Izeroth, turning to me, grinned and candidly told me, "There is a 24-hour store right around the corner that might have it, but we're not going there. I can get him those stupid raft books later, if he still wants them, which I doubt. He's the most fickle-minded thing I've ever seen." He plotted the longest, most meandering path back to the base that he could, explaining "I have a book I want to listen to before we get back". Then he put on a certain book, "Overthrowing An Overlord", on the audio player, and carefully listened to it, forcing me to replay certain parts that he liked (such as a portion explaining that Justin Beaver music was a good way to torture an imprisoned former Overlord), while he took plenty of notes."
That is a more complete account of what happened. I trust it is obvious who is to blame for this fiasco."
What Gryphon and Tam said of me is partly true, but much distorted from the whole truth. Allow me to explain the real story to you.
The reason I insisted that we eat in was because there was a sign clearly stating "no eating in the parking lot." Seems ridiculous, right? Anyway, Tam and Gryphon wanted to eat while driving, saying "it will be fun." If I hadn't stopped them, they would have doubtless crashed our ship.
I admit I was slightly angry at Gryphon for starving me, but you would be too. I insisted that Gryphon eat something other than what he wanted, because the burger he wanted was so ridiculously expensive that we wouldn't have had money to buy gas to get back home. I spent about twenty minutes arguing with Gryphon over why he shouldn't get the super expensive thing.
When we got out of that restaurant, both of them were talking about how they thought I was so disloyal and useless. I sarcastically informed Gryphon of how disloyal I was, and of how easy it would have been to get a book, (There were no guide stores within one light year that were open) but he seriously believed my sarcasm and began attacking me. He tied me up and forced me to listen to "Overthrowing an Overlord" (pure torture I tell you). When Gryphon wasn't looking, though, I broke my handcuffs and forced him to listen to the tape. The expression on his face when he listened to the Justin Beiber section was really priceless.
Overlord, it is true Gryph suggested me to leave the store because of the clerk but there is another story behind that. If you, Overlord, knew the past about all of your servants' work (which is failing) would you allow them to do your work? No, because you know how much others mess up. So, knowing that James is older than I am, I decided not to argue him and get in a fight but instead, used the excuse "I picked your pocket" Just so he would let me get the stuff you required. It was my only way to make sure they did all that you commanded.
Next, There was a sign that said that this store was the leading donor of "Tomatoes are vegetables campaign" but that shouldn't be a reason to not buy a sign that I was personally keeping for myself. If you were to go to the store and buy toothpaste, and the clerk said you couldn't buy it because it wasn't the type that was on the big sign in the front of the store, then would you think of him as a really good clerk? You should be able to buy what you want at a store.
I also tried to add a comment in on Gryph's and Izeroth's conversation by saying "Food is essential for a growing boy". I was only trying to help by saying that. I wasn't going to take a side in the argument. I also added that we had to commemorate the loss of the tomatoes but I only said that so those two would stop arguing and we could make a decision to do your bidding and get the guide. I then added that we should do what the Overlord says. Izeroth then yelled at me saying "YOU SHUT UP! IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT THE OVERLORD WANTS US TO HURRY UP! I'M HUNGRY AND NEED MY FOOD!"
I didn't argue but added "The Overlord will not be happy with you." He really got fired up about this and yelled. "I DON'T CARE!!!!!!" I left it at that.
Then we got to the restaurant. Izeroth and James already explained about the needless arguing. I tell you though, they were irritating. Every time I would tell them that we needed to keep moving and just go to the store they would say that "Their arguments were more important." and that "I just needed to let them sort it out".
They then decided to go into the store to get food. I immediately pushed ahead of Izzy and James knowing that they would probably be getting into arguing about food sooner or later - which they did. I had my order taken. I got a small burger. Izeroth then said that I had to go extravagant in ordering. I told him I wanted to keep it simple. He then tried to reorder for me and I told him I would not let him. He confused the clerk so much she went back to the back room crying hysterically. I said to Izeroth "Look what you did!" He then said "It was all James' fault!".
Well then a robot came out and took our order. The robot then began to speak German. I tried to tell the robot that we couldn't speak German. The only phrase I knew in German to tell him was "Read the menu in 15 different languages." He seemed to understand this and started reading it in each language. I hoped one of these would be English but it wasn't. I didn't how to tell the robot to stop though when I knew he didn't read the menu in English. James told me to not do it but I told him it wasn't my fault because I didn't know how to say "Stop" in German. I asked James to look on his phone for an online translator and he said "I don't want to. I need my food not a dumb robot to stop speaking".
Then Izzy tried to keep feeding James. I told Izeroth it wouldn't be a good idea to do that and he said that it was his duty as a fellow soldier! I didn't know what that meant but tried to solve the problem by saying "Just get something with tomatoes that is full of nutrients then we can go". They all ignored me.
I then asked the robot again to read the menu again. James was saying that I couldn't do anything right and that I was the most horrible person ever. I ignored him knowing it wouldn't help for me to argue. This time I told the robot to only read the 'true tomato treat' section. He did surprisingly. Then James tried to make up for what he had said about me by saying "I knew you were always the best of all of us." He got what he wanted and then we left.
We then left to the ship. Everything happened as I already said it did. Izeroth said we should go back to your chamber so I put on a headset and listened and listened to the "Store opening" Station to see if there is a new guides store opening. As I was listening to it, James and Izzy turned on "How to overthrow an Overlord". I didn't take any part in it.
Otherwise than that, Izzy had said that James and I were saying how useless he was but in reality, James was telling me how bad Izzy was. I ignored him. James, seeing that I was ignoring him, went to Izzy and started talking about how bad Iwas.
Anyway, that is my report Overlord. I am sure you see who is to blame.
OOC: WOAH! Sorry for the long post. I probably violated the Gryphon rule. Is it alright if I keep my post though? I usually don't post posts as long as this. :-[
"All I can say about Tam monkeying around in the store is that I guess he should know plenty about failing and not getting your Majesty's assignments done. I was getting the books you had asked for, while he was off getting unnecessary items that resulted in our not being able to complete the task right then. That is all I will say on that subject."
"As far as the rest of this goes, I have already explained that our having to enter the food joint was Izeroth's fault. After insisting that going through the drive-thru would be 'dangerous', he actually stole the keys, saying "Friends don't let friends drive"; thus, we were forced to go inside. It's worth noting that Tam didn't lift a finger to help prevent Izeroth from delaying us, preferring instead to whine, and this is a direct quote, "I'm telling the Overlord on you!'"
"I was perfectly fine with the robot speaking German, and understood what it was saying, so Tam's request for different languages was nothing more than a waste of time. I tried to tell him this, but for some reason he wasn't listening. He very rarely does. I was quite peeved when he demanded I use my phone to fix his mistake, and snapped out the line about "not needing a robot to stop speaking" at him. I was attempting to place my order, in German, but Tam kept interrupting, confusing the robot, so I said, "If you don't want to do anything right, then keep right on talking; at this rate you're going to be the most horrible servant ever." Well, he hushed, but then Izeroth started in."
"You see, I was about to order the Tomato Burger. Izeroth seemed happy that I was going to get it and eat, but then Tam commented, "You'd need ten of those to fill you up". Well, Izeroth seemed to think that was what I meant to do, and started screaming that we "shouldn't waste our money like that" and that "I could get as much food for less". It wasn't much of an argument, really, since I could hardly get a word in edgewise. He went on yelling twenty minutes, and probably would have gone longer except that our timer went off, telling us that we were too late to make it to the store. Then, Izzy was suddenly okay with me placing the order, so I did. I thanked the robot (not Tam, although I was looking his direction, to make sure he didn't spit in my food) by saying "I knew you were always the best of us", then quickly ate my burger, and we left."
"As far as Izzy being sarcastic, all I can say is that he wasn't doing much to dissuade anyone from the idea of him being a traitor. Aside from all the aforementioned activities, he had just been about to crash us into a freight transport. Then I saw that he had the Overthrowing an Overlord book checked out from the library (they texted him a late fee notice), I was infuriated by his apparent disloyalty and tied him up to keep him from doing more harm and forced him to listen to his book at maximum volume through the headset speakers."
"The volume, I think, might have been torture, but once it was normal he seemed to appreciate the book's nefarious content very much, as I previously described. Perhaps my behavior was a little rash, but I'm not convinced that he isn't disloyal, to be perfectly honest. However, I trust that your Majesty knows best in this situation."
"Coincidentally, I think I might have found out the reason why Izeroth kept gibbering about how he was being 'starved'. When I was tying him up, I came across several empty bottles of Metoba-Mite, the metabolic booster. I expect that he drank them like water, ignoring the instructions to use it a teaspoon per meal. This would certainly explain the ravenous appetite he's displayed, and his hunger in spite of receiving regular rations."
We could of gone through the drive through, but it was manned by a ferocious three headed beast. I didn't want to take my chances. Judging by the two pistols he was carrying and the sawlike teeth that stuck out of his mouth, he was not very friendly. As for the screaming and whatnot, that was a side effect of the Metoba-Mite.
As for the overthrowing an overlord book, I later found out that Tam used my library account to check that out. I smiled when I listened to the book because the book was so stupid that it amused me. It's worth noting that Tam asked to borrow it when I was done.
As for the Metoba-Mite, I was unfamiliar with how to use it. Gryphon informed me that "if you just drink it like water then you'll be fine."
Gryphon shook his head and sighed. "Use some common sense, man; the restaurant wouldn't have won "Best Family Dining Experience" the last five years by having a villain run the drive-thru. That so-called 'three-headed beast' was the manager, Toothy Tarryl. He carries those stun pistols to keep the store from being held up. I admit the foaming at the mouth and the gnashing of teeth might have looked a little imposing, but those are both normal, polite behaviors for his race. He's a good friend of mine, and might've given us a discount, since I'm a frequent visitor. If you had only explained your concerns, instead of just carrying on about the risks of drive-thrus, I might have set you straight. You need to learn not to judge by outward appearance."
"What you had asked me is if metabolic boosters such as Metoba-Mite could be consumed without using a needle. I said, "sure, if you just put it in your mouth, and drink it like water, then you'll be fine". I never said anything about disregarding the safe usage engraving on the front of the bottle, which says that you aren't supposed to take it all at once. If you didn't read it, well, that's not my problem. I know that you don't like to bother with little things like following instructions, but you need to always do so before taking a medicine like that."
OOC: Will try to post tomorrow. I will be out of town till the 6th otherwise just incase you guys are looking for me. I will still try to post though.
((EDIT)): Thanks for waiting guys! I will try to post tomorrow. (the 8th).
OOC: I don't want this round to stagnate much longer. I was very busy with school and assorted things the last week. I want to post ending this round sometime tomorrow and move onto the final, so last chance for more defenses.
Overlord, there is clearly something that needs to be said.
First off, I will say I was not monkeying around for this reason. I was the one getting things done; Taking charge because the other two wouldn't have. Second off, I was the one who told Gryph and Izeroth to go get the book. They woudn't have done it if I didn't tell them too. Thats shows you how much of your plan they had in their brain. That is the end of that matter.
Afterwards, What Gryph claimed about me whining, I was trying to help. He apparently wasn't making much progress with the approach he took, so I tried something different. It seemed to work too, though Gryph said I was just whining because he was angry that he couldn't get Izeroth to stop just by doing it himself.
It would have been much easier for your job to be done Overlord if Gryph had just told me simply that he could speak German. It is simple thing to solve. I thought that since it was Gryph's fault for being in this mess, that he should help get us out. That is why I asked him to take care of business with the phone. I will point out that Gryph told me to hush but that didn't solve the problem. He was just acting out of anger. He did claim he tried to tell me and that I was just "Not listening" but if he really wanted to solve this problem, he would have told me right out that he could speak German like he should have done instead of beating around the block.
And, about the tomato burgers, I ordered Gryph ten of them. Why? Well, because I am a nice person and the store clerks said they would throw out the other nine they had if we didn't eat them. They gave us them FREE OF CHARGE. And, they were already made so that didn't take up any extra time and money like Gryph had said they did. It was Izeroth and Gryph in fault for the the time spent doing nothing but waste. I told gryph he could eat on the ride but he and Izeroth said they had to eat at the building and that it wouldn't be good manners to take it as take out. Also, Gryph was falsely accusing me of spitting in his food or atleast, he thought I did. His fault - Not mine.
Now, for Izzy's comment about me checking out the book, Well, it is true I did. I also checked it out at a gunpoint. Izzy told me to check it out so he could learn how to overthrow an overlord. He just told me to check it out so he could use the excuse that I had done it so he could blame me for it. Afterwards, I asked him to borrow it so I could give it back. If I didn't give it back myself, they would have fined me for it. It turned out he really was trying to overthrow you Overlord.
That is all Overlord unless my to coworkers have some more to fess up too.
OOC: I am SOOO Sorry about this guys. I had the trip to Virginia, and then I had a three day debate tournament. So sorry and I thank you guys for waiting for my indecisive self.
The reason I forced Tam to check the book out at gunpoint is because the Metoba-mite had chemicals which caused humans to become dillusional and irrational. I saw the warning label, but it was in Martian speak and therefore impossible for me to read. Gryphon, who knows Martian, said that the warning label was nothing to worry about. Because I was not in my right mind, Gryphon is to blame.
OOC: This has turned into one of the longest rounds I know of (in terms of posts, not physical time).
"I wouldn't call begging other people to do the job the entire team was assigned to do while he went off to do something totally irrelevant to the mission "taking charge", but I guess everyone thinks differently. As far as getting things done, I'll grant that he did do plenty of that. It's just too bad that none of the things he got done, attempting to buy unnecessary items and causing the owner-clerk to destroy them, were helpful in completing the mission."
"I did beat on my Acme Secret-SpyGear Message Block. By then I had given up on trying to vocally tell Tam anything, because he kept interrupting and talking over me, so I thought that he might read a text message. When his spy message receiver vibrated, though, he just said "I can't read anything someone like you sends me". Maybe I was angry, but I had good reason to be. As far as eating in the building goes, I know that Izeroth loves mashing food on things, and didn't want to ruin the inside of our transport if it could be helped."
"I did say the warning label was nothing to worry about, but that was because Izeroth asked me if it -- the label, not the Metoba-Mite itself -- was toxic. He had read something about some types of label adhesive seeping into bottles and turning their contents into beaver venom. As far as the chemicals in the Metoba-Mite go, I knew it wasn't considered healthy for humans, but I didn't say as much because Tam had been bragging about how he could consume anything, and I didn't want him to drink it and have his irrational behavior harm the mission. (As it turned out, it did anyway, even without any Metoba-Mite, so I might as well have let him have at it.)"
"Instead, I told Izeroth that he'd "better ask his doctor before taking any new medication like Metoba-Mite". Of course, he ignored my sound advice, and walked off mumbling something about how "expert medical opinions can't be trusted". I assume he drank the Metoba-Mite later, as I didn't see him do it, and if I had been there I would have done my best to prevent him from drugging himself that way."
What Izeroth said about James having him drink the water is his business, but the point is, I had nothing to do with the checking out of the book. That being said, I will move onto the other arguments.
I was not begging James and Izeroth to do my work for me. In reality, They were standing around doing nothing but twiddling their thumbs and whistling so I gave them something to do. I trusted them to get the job done but - well - they didn't. The tomatoes would have been a totally fine thing for the mission if James and Izeroth had done what they should have. I hope you notice that Overlord.
Then, James tried to send me a text because 'I was talking over him' but really that was Izeroth's in the back round saying repeatedly "I love food! Yes I do! I love food! Yes I do!" etc.. Then he tried to send me a text but everyone knows I am not good with technological things. When my spy receiver message vibrated, it wasn't James. It was Izeroth sending me a text saying 'You should love food so we can be food buddies.' To stop him from sending anything else I said "I can't read anything someone like you sends me." I wasn't saying it to James at all. To Izeroth actually. James just thought I was saying it to him because he was already angry with me and wanted to find more fault in me. Right after that though, I did get his text. By that time though, it was unnecessary to mention because the robot had already gone away.
I was bragging about myself being able to consume anything (Which you know I am able to do due to the last few rounds) but that had NOTHING to do with this topic. I was actually on a phone call with a buddy of mine who has a superpower and he asked about mine so I told him. Me saying that had nothing to do with Izeroth's and James' needless arguing again.
I then asked the buddy of mine if he could give you a message about James and Izeroth and their arguing but he was out saving the world so he couldn't.
Unless there is more for others to confess, I am sure you can tell who is to blame.
OOC: This is a fun round. ;D
I was saying "I love food," because the robot who served us said it wouldn't serve me unless I showed some enthusiasm. The robot forced me to text the message to Tam.
I was cautious about doctors because of a bad experience I had as a child. I don't want to go into any details. Anyway, after Gryphon told me what he thought, I decided I should ask Tam what he thought. Tam claimed to be an "expert at medicine." So, Tam said it was fine, and I drank it. Afterwards, Tam claimed that "I misread the label."
I claimed to be an expert of medicine? No, Not at all. I claimed to be an expert of medicinefor the making of another Frankenstein though. As soon as Izeroth heard me say the fist part, he didn't bother to listen to the rest. I told him it was fine but For the making of a Frankestein, yes it was. Not for human consumption. Before I could tell him it wasn't safe for himself, he had already downed it all. Later, he blamed me for his faults by saying 'I mislead him'. I tried to explain to him that he wasn't listening (And I will note, James was taking his side saying "Izeroth is always right") and that I tried to tell him it wasn't safe but he wouldn't listen and kept on chattering on about how he was perfect and all. Lastly, I told him he mislead the label so he would stop speaking so I could explain the truth but that didn't stop him. I then decided just to leave it and get us back to you, Overlord.
"Well then gentlemen, I do believe I have heard enough. It is immensely clear that all of you continue to be failures, but you likely already knew I was going to say that. Anyway, there's something that has come up. Two things, in fact. But both are only for two sets of ears of servants to hear. Izeroth, your services are being dispensed with. Go to your quarters, grab some things, I don't care if they're yours or not, just get some of that junk in the servants' section of the space platform out of my domain. Get on a transport and leave after that, I guess. Unless you can just swim through space to leave. I don't care. Just leave."
Izeroth's feet were unsealed and he quickly left the Overlord's presence and then the station. Oddly, no transports left when he did.
~~~
The two servants were back in the Overlord's chamber two hours later. There was a squash on one of the steps leading into his chamber. Other than that, it was the same as it always had been. Plus a new air of foreboding. The Overlord expected that was the result of a change in the breathing pattern of the Ice Penguin species. He had no idea where the squash came from. The Overlord addressed his two remaining servants.
"You see, I have some very important business to attend to at once. A shame really, since I only just moved in to this place. As much as I hate to say it, and as ironic as it will be considering that one guy from a couple weeks ago, I just don't like the idea of leaving this base alone for any poacher to come along and nab as he likes. I intend on entrusting my role to one of you two as long as it is necessary. Which one? Well, there is a task I dared not entrust to too large a group given its sensitive and stealthy nature. Just two servants is ideal.
"The task is as follows: A certain clepsydra salesman has been making the rounds across the local cluster of galaxies. This is a problem for a horologist friend of mine as you'll see, and I need to do that friend a favor. You see, this salesman's reputation as a master in his profession is fully deserved. He's sold many clepsydras over the years. I have it on good authority that his next stop will be at a library in this very solar system, located on the moon of the third planet. The librarians there number thirty and are a section of the universe's greatest librarian corps. They are scorpion-people, you see. Not much taller than you and rather humanoid, and also dressed more like monks with their long, brown habits, but scorpion librarians nonetheless. They are born and bred for the sole purpose of taking care of and organizing the universe's most important books. They are also using an outdated atomic clock manufactured by the same organization my horologist friend works for. It is imperative they continue to use this atomic clock for very complicated and very important reasons and not buy a clepsydra from this salesman. As such, you must prevent this salesman from arriving at the library and making a sale. Take one of my transports and arrive outside the library at the time the scorpion librarians are taking their tea. The salesman will arrive outside the library exactly as they are finishing tea, so make sure to stop him with his clepsydras before he makes contact with the librarians. I don't want him harmed and that's too complicated to do anyway, so just steal the last three clepsydras he has and bring them back here with you, leaving him with no reason to meet any librarian. The librarians will have nothing to buy, and they will continue to use the horrifically rigged atomic clock as they're supposed to be doing. Oh, and the salesman has a laser gun. Be sure to avoid getting hit by that. And don't get a librarian hit. I actually rather like those lot and am glad to have them as neighbors. So, all you have to do is get there on time, steal from a salesman, don't get killed, don't get librarians hurt, avoid causing the death of a salesman and bring me three clepsydras. And be back before I need to leave. This is a time sensitive mission, afterall."
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James Gryphon and Tam entered the Overlord's chamber. They took up positions in front of him, and became locked to the floor. The Overlord spoke.
"No clepsydras, two servants. There are two problems here. And unfortunately, I can only remedy one of them. Now, one of you begin explaining why I'll still have a problem here at the end of the day."
Gryphon frowned as he manipulated a data pad. "I had meant to show you this recording of the unfortunate events, but apparently it has been wiped. Either sabotage or a software glitch; we had plenty of the latter. With the absence of a log, I suppose I will have to tell you what happened vocally."
"We got to the transport, Tam taking over as pilot, myself as copilot and computer operator, the same setup we had successfully done before. The moment we had strapped in, though, Tam said that I needed to update the ship's navigation software. He said that they had just released a new version and that we should use it because newer software is always better. I had known about the update, but put off doing it because the company is notorious for making software releases that are ridden with bugs. It usually takes a few months and two or three patches before they get it right. Besides, updating software normally takes ages, time I knew we didn't have. I tried to explain this to Tam, but he just said "Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about. Bugs are really undocumented features. Anyway, even if it has problems, it is newer, so it is still better." Then he pulled out a laser gun and said, "I'm installing this whether you like it or not. Stay out of my way and maybe I won't shoot you."
"Well, the attempt at downloading the update took up about half of our time. Tam impatiently drummed his fingers on the controls, periodically deleting important backups and system files to unnecessarily "clear up computer space", against my recommendations. Then he finally decided, "This is taking too long, let's just quit it and go". I tried to stop him, but he cancelled the update. The computer then crashed, with a purple screen of death, indicating there was no longer sufficient files available to run the operating system. In other words, we no longer had any navigation capability."
"I said that we should go and pick up a backup set of discs to run the computer with, so that we could at least have basic navigation, but Tam said, "Forget it; I know everything we need anyway." Then he blasted us off, skipping all of the ship's safety checks, and took off to where he thought our destination was at a speed greater than our maximum safe level."
"Well, surprisingly, Tam actually did eventually get us to where we were supposed to go, and I'll give him credit for that. Unfortunately, we were a full day late. Our target had come and gone. Tam screamed and raged about how our failure was "all my fault", then went into his quarters and banged his head against the wall until he was knocked out."
"With him being obviously deranged, I took control of the ship, and used my recording of our trip to calculate a return course. We got here without further incident. Tam then tried to say that it was too dangerous to come back to you, and that we should steal the transport and leave servitude behind, but I refused, and when he grew violent, I locked the controls down to prevent him from interfering. So he sulkily told me that "at least he'd have time to make something up about me" before we got here. I docked the ship, and here we are. I have no idea why Tam seemed determined to make us fail the mission the way he did, but I trust in your majesty's ability to discern the cause."
Ah, the software, yes I remember that incident - Gryphon trying to stop me from getting new software that would help us get to the library faster. Let me explain.
You see, we were getting ready to go, As Gryph said, and I took over as pilot and he as copilot as it had worked well before. Then I went to work uploading the new software for the machine. Gryph immediately tried to stop me from doing such. Now, Gryphon said the company is notorious for making software ridden with bugs, but, I know about this company because I used to work for them. They do make most of their software with bugs but, because I used to work for them, They give me special access to their new features. I looked into this product and found it doesn't carry bugs, it only takes 1 minute to update, and that it is completely safe.
Seeing as Gryphon doesn't get this information, he didn't know that this version was safe. I tried to tell him it was perfectly fine but then, something I never thought he would ever do, happened. HE pulled out a laser gun and told me not to do it, or he would shoot me. That is when my karate class came in handy. I won't go into detail but I was able to take the gun from him and told him not to make any funny moves. I also said, "Stay out of my way and I won't shoot you" because he had just threatened me before.
Also, I will mention I did say that "Newer software is always better" but, He probably did not hear me say the rest of my sentence. What I really said was "Newer software is always better - For this ship". The end part he did not bother to say though. Gryph also claimed I said "Bugs are an undocumented feature" Which I did, but i wasn't saying that directed towards the ship, but directed to the ant I had just mushed on the floor. He did not realize this though.
On a side note, I did try to explain what I was doing to Gryph, but he was mad that I took his gun so he turned the song "You are my sunshine" on on the radio and blared the bass of the radio. I couldn't even hear myself. I was finally able to update the software and we were on our way - Or so I thought.
*Editing - Please do not post yet - Will try to finish later today*
I am sorry but, as Tagg will tell you, I have to drop out. Enjoy the next round everyone!
Tam
"Now then, I think it is immensely clear which of you shall have the honor of getting something of a job as an Overlord-ish thing. And I really must be off at once to my transport."
The Overlord jumped off his chair and left through the back door of the chamber, seeming to have simply forgotten to name a winner. His footsteps receded down the corridor and the doors to the chamber closed. James Gryphon and Tam starred at each other for a moment, then looked to the Overlord's empty chair. Then, the chair disappeared in a fizzle of energy and faint blue light. It was another twenty-five minutes before the intercom in the chamber sputtered and the voice of the Overlord spoke to the servants, not sounding very chipper.
"That chair did not belong to the platform and so I take it with me, with a few other odds and ends I brought. I'll be leaving momentarily. The last item I teleport will be the final servant to be removed from the platform and I'll put him...uh, I'm not sure. But regardless, take it as a sign of your being chosen if you're the remaining servant."
A moment passed and another fizzle of blue energy occurred and James Gryphon was left standing alone in the chamber. In a minute he was on the observation deck, and could see the Overlord's transport disappear in a vortex as he left to attend to an urgent piece of business.
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Well, that concludes the round. Good job everyone who participated, and thank you!
James Gryphon has the next round, and I'd imagine he'll be getting that up shortly.
Any thoughts?
Well, I think it's fair to say that I was a little disappointed with how anticlimactic the final round was, after the slugfest with Tam and Izzy in the next-to-last one. I'm not sure there's any other round in the history of OO where three players just battled it out for that long. Of course, there were a few mistakes here and there, but overall I think the quality there was still high.
In fact, I think the entire round went pretty well overall. I've always liked rounds II-IV the best, but I think these last two have been the best since then, and, looking at it objectively, might be as good as or better than those classic rounds.
I'll start signups for Round XI very soon, and take the waiting time to decide what direction to take the next round, thematically.
Finally, some of my favorite quotes from this round:
Quote from: Tiria WildloughGryph was being difficult about it, so I gave him a playful slap on the shoulder, and said 'thus is the fate of those who defy my orders'. I meant it as a joke, but he took it personally for some reason. He's like that.
Quote from: MeAs soon as I had laid it on the counter, though, he threw it on the ground and stomped on it, saying "It makes a good floor mat". Then he filled a pan with frosting, explaining "Frosting is the only ingredient needed for a cake".
Quote from: TamThe clerk (also the owner of the store) came up to me and yelled at me "YOU CAN'T BY THIS! TOMATOES ARE REALLY A VEGETABLE! THIS SIGN IS WRONG"
Quote from: TamThen, James tried to send me a text because 'I was talking over him' but really that was Izeroth's in the back round saying repeatedly "I love food! Yes I do! I love food! Yes I do!" etc.. Then he tried to send me a text but everyone knows I am not good with technological things. When my spy receiver message vibrated, it wasn't James. It was Izeroth sending me a text saying 'You should love food so we can be food buddies.'
;D I love those ones!
I am really happy with the turnouts of this round. If it wasn't for the fact that I wasn't able to access the internet often then I would have loved to battle this last round with you James. I was really hoping my computer troubles would b fixed because I would Have really loved to finish this up.
Anyway, Congrats to everyone but specifically to Izzy. This was your first round and you made it so far with James and I who have done this before.
And, as much as I want to participate in OO XI I won't be able to. have a great time everyone else though!