Redwall Abbey

Welcome to the eleventh regular round of Overlord's Orders.

I'm not sure where to take this round yet thematically. Most likely, though, it will jump off from the ending of round IX, and take place in the world established by OOs II, III and IV. Reading up on those rounds is highly recommended -- some events there might play a role in this game. If I don't announce otherwise, assume that this is what it's going to be.

Quote
The Rules
We will have an overlord (or overlady), who will be all powerful and control the game.
Everyone else will be a servant of theirs to do his or her bidding, which will be a new assignment at the beginning of each round.
The game begins by the Overlord issuing a task, sending out their servants, and then summoning everyone before them and questioning them about whether they got the thing they wanted.
Any given round may have anywhere from a developing storyline and plot to pure and simple tasking. At times, the gamemaster (Overlord) may deviate from the general pattern and do something different at the end than just another task.

Example Round:
Let's say the Overlord might have wanted a jeep to use.
Stage 1: Introduction
The Overlord sends out their servants on a task and they return, and the Overlord will question their servants and ask them why they failed to bring them the thing they wanted (which will invariable happen, no one ever succeeds).
Stage 2: Defenses
Players can then blame their failure on some random thing (like maybe an elephant destroying the jeep) or someone else in the game; anything to shrug themselves off from fault.
Everyone can then blame someone, themselves, keep silent, or introduce some sort of new feature that happened while acquiring the item (in this case, a jeep). Eventually, the Overlord will process the information and decide who failed.
Stage 3: Punishment
The person chosen to have failed by the Overlord is then thrown out, vaporized, or something creative, by the Overlord's orders. The idea is to not be this person, and to survive as long as possible.

Likely, the Overlord will be choosing the best defenses as survivors.

Player defenses may not exceed 750 words per post. Unless your post has gotten noticeably quite long, you are unlikely to be hitting this limit.

Inter-game rules: The winner of any round is given host-ship of the next game. This can tie in with them going from servant to overlord, or it can be original.

General Guidelines:
Free roleplaying, or game spam, is fine. This means having yourself eat a banana, talk about the weather or river dance.

Whenever someone says something, it becomes fact. It is what happened. If someone says an elephant destroyed a jeep, then anyone calling that person a liar is for certain lying; the jeep was destroyed by an elephant. What's up for telling for someone else is, for example, who set the elephant on the jeep.

Godmoding pertaining to persons should be restricted to some extent, just try to keep things with at least a hand in plausibility. Powerplaying is allowed. However, it cannot affect players between tasks. For instance, you cannot have a servants contract a disease and be unable to speak, or even die. You can have them be sick during the task, but you cannot impede them during the Sessions before the Overlord.

Normally, the Gamemaster will have technology restricting servants to a base during the game to prevent physically roleplaying and keep the game focused on its purpose. Overlords can powerplay.
Also, you cannot use an excuse like being brainwashed or cloned during the task. You are you-and you are responsible for what you did wrong.
Remember to keep things civil, stay inside the board rules, keep all hands and legs inside the game until it comes to a complete stop.

All the previous rounds are here.

Overlords Order's I (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=722.0) - Taggerung_of_Redwall
Overlord's Orders II (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=888.0) - James Gryphon
Overlord's Orders III (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=948.0) - DanielofRedwall
Overlord's Orders IV (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1088.0) - Matthias720
Overlord's Orders V (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1246.0) - Redwall Musician
Overlord's Orders VI (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1549.0) - Tiria Wildlough
Special Holiday Round 2012 (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=3022.0) - Taggerung_of_Redwall
Overlord's Orders VII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=3361.0) - Matthias720
Overlord's Orders VIII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4241.0) - Romsca
Overlord's Orders IX (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6441.0) - rusvulthesaber, James Gryphon/Tiria Wildlough
Overlord's Orders X (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6679.0) - Taggerung_of_Redwall

Sign-ups:
1. Soren the Warrior
2. SilentSam
3. Delthion
4. LT Sandpaw
5. Taggerung_of_Redwall
6. Jasper
7. The Mask
8.
9.
10.

I'm in.

Me!!! :) I'll be in, I'm ready to play.

I'm in!

I'll do it count me in.

Never played this game before, so I am really excited!

I'm not sure about Soren, but if Soren is new to this game, everyone is new to this so far.

"Add me", said the otter to the bird lion.

I have great expectations for this round.

Quote from: SilentSam on November 19, 2014, 08:57:29 PM
I'm not sure about Soren, but if Soren is new to this game, everyone is new to this so far.

I am new, but Tagg there has managed a whole bunch of these.

Quote from: Soren the Warrior on November 20, 2014, 09:09:30 PM

Quote from: SilentSam on November 19, 2014, 08:57:29 PM
I'm not sure about Soren, but if Soren is new to this game, everyone is new to this so far.

I am new, but Tagg there has managed a whole bunch of these.

Yes, but I said that before Tagg came.  ;)

Anyway, when does this start?

Probably in four or five days, although if there aren't at least six people by then, I might hold it off for longer.

Will we be starting soon?

Quote from: James Gryphon on November 21, 2014, 09:45:30 AM
Probably in four or five days, although if there aren't at least six people by then, I might hold it off for longer.

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!!

DON'T DO IT SUSPENSE IT's NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!

If I could join that'd be great. I've never done one of these, but there's always a first time!

I'm grateful; I'm hoping to get at least seven people for this, and every bit helps.

I'm going to be going out of town this Wednesday for Thanksgiving; I should be back Thursday night, so the game will probably begin then. (This gives me some more time to write plot, a necessary task I've been putting off.)

Very well. Have a nice trip!

Quote from: James Gryphon on November 24, 2014, 09:30:33 PM
I'm grateful; I'm hoping to get at least seven people for this, and every bit helps.

I'm going to be going out of town this Wednesday for Thanksgiving; I should be back Thursday night, so the game will probably begin then. (This gives me some more time to write plot, a necessary task I've been putting off.)

I'll be out of town from Friday morning to Saturday evening. So would it be possible for it to begin Saturday?

I'll join!

QuoteI'll be out of town from Friday morning to Saturday evening. So would it be possible for it to begin Saturday?

Well, that's only two days; I'll probably run the first round longer than that. You should have time to get a reply in, even if you're not immediately available.

Last call for registrations. I plan on making the opening post in the next six hours or so.

Registrations are closed.

---

The Overlord waited with anticipation as the thrum, thrum of the starship's mighty engines began to slow, and finally stop altogether. "It's good to be going home... or something like it, anyway."

A light on the control panel flickered green, breaking him out of his reverie. "Back to business," he thought, "And not soon enough. It's time to take care of some things."

He looked down at the screen that monitored his servants, who were all shut up in individual glass chambers. Those chambers were useful for a quite many purposes, in fact, which the Overlord did not care to reveal to them at the time of their enclosure. For now, however, they were used solely for protecting his minions from the potentially hazardous effects of "The Change".

He pressed the button to release them from stasis. After waiting a moment for them to get their bearings, he began to speak.

"Welcome back to the real world. You've got a lot to do and not much time to do it in, so listen up."

"The truth of our current situation is a little more complicated than this, but all you need to know right now is that we've gone back in time. Specifically, back to the early 21st century (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=888.msg28078#msg28078). And you're going to get to visit one of the wonders of that time period, one of Sweden's gorgeous Ice Hotels. The whole thing is, in fact, made out of real ice. You'll need to blend in with the locals, so taking personal heating shields is out of the question. Appropriate winter garb will be provided for you in the teleportation room."

"Your mission here is very simple. Go down, spend three days, then come back. None of you have worked together before, so I'm hoping you'll use this time to do the whole 'bonding' jazz that those team-building books always rave about. Get acquainted with one another and don't destroy anything."

"There is one caveat -- you need to make sure that nobody takes your picture while you're down there. Having a photographic record of your presence could endanger your cover for future missions, as well as potentially disrupting this timeline. So don't let any exist."

---

Three days later...

"I can't say that I didn't expect things would go wrong, but I have to tell you, of all the mission teams I've ever put together, this is a new low for a first assignment. In three days, you managed to melt the hotel to the ground with a "dragon", shoot at five of the hotel's guests, and hijack a helicopter. Needless to say, I'm not impressed with your ability to keep a low profile."

"Also, on a more personal note, my inbox is full of millions of copies of pictures of the hotel and the surrounding area. It'll take ages to download them all, and I had to spend $1,000,000 for the extra storage space necessary to keep all those files on my email account. You're very lucky that I've always had an interest in this hotel; otherwise I wouldn't easily forgive you for causing this unwarranted expenditure. Which of you jokers thought to send all this to me in email instead of just bringing me the cameras' storage drives?"

"Explain to me how you all managed to achieve this amazing degree of failure. Speak up, quickly."

Your lordship, it is true that I was the one who hijacked the helicopter. But it was not of my own initiative sir. Delthion was the one who was firing the shots at the hotel guests, and we fears for our lives that the authorities would capture us and disrupt the timeline. So thus we needed a get away vehicle. I had sufficient understanding and knowledge of the aircraft that I was able to hijack and pilot it sir. But it was Delthions fault. If it wasn't for him firing shots at the hotel guest for who knows what reason, I wouldn't have been in it in the position of having to hijack the helicopter, in an effort to perserve the timeline and all that we hold most dear.

Lord, I must inform you that it was my idea to send the pictures, but I had to because LT Sandpaw and Jasper started smashing started smashing the cameras, and their storage drives because it was "fun". At first I tried to hide the storage drives, but LT Sandpaw found them. So I took the remaining ones and emailed them to you.

My great and powerful Overlord, some of the things these miscreants have said is true, but they left out the most defining details in the situation, so allow me to clear it up for you.

As Soren said, it was indeed Delthion who was firing at the hotel guests, but that was because Soren had spotted a pretty human female, and in an effort to communicate with her, had gotten us spotted. The guests began to try taking pictures of us, and succeeded in taking one of Soren, still trying to reach the human. Delthion, in a somewhat rash effort to clean up the damage Soren had caused, began shooting at the guests, and told me to go and smash their cameras to get rid of the picture, because as you said, we can't allow pictures to exist of us. LT Sandpaw and I complied, but Sandpaw was also holding the cameras we had used to take pictures of the hotel, and he mistakenly smashed those along with the ones that the guests had been using. Luckily Sam managed to email the pictures on the camera before they were completely destroyed.

I apologize for the number of pictures that cost you so much extra, but The Mask spent the entire trip taking pictures of everything in sight - he even took several thousand of our hotel's toilet for some odd reason. I tried to convince Soren not to take the helicopter, since it would attract so much attention, but he insisted that he knew what was best, and blamed us for shooting at the guests - but that wasn't our fault! It was HIS for getting a picture taken of himself! We were just trying to clean up his mess!

As for the Dragon, I honestly don't know where to start with that. You see, Sweden is home to a massive white one, and it had loads of riches. While the rest of us were at the hotel taking care of our task, Taggerung of Redwall wanted to earn himself a little bit of extra money - likely linked to his recent purchases of sketchy materials that might be used to overthrow you, oh powerful overlord. He stole a precious gem worth billions, and fled back to the hotel with the dragon hot on his heels. In its rage the Dragon destroyed the entire hotel, and would have killed us too if I hadn't returned the gem Tagg stole to it, at great risk to my own well - being!

Your lordship, it is true that the woman I pursued was attractive in nature, but they is not the reason I pursued her. The reason is I had noticed that her camera's screen had a photo of Tagg stealing the gem. If this got out, then not only would they capture Tagg, who no doubt would tell the authorities we're on a mission, but would also trace is back to you oh lordship. It would disrupt the timeline as well as possibly putting you in danger. For if Tagg hadn't gotten greedy, then this situation would have never happened. It's all his fault.

My gracious and great Overlord. I beg thy forgiveness for this terrible lack of discipline. I was rendered unconscious in the elevator for two days, then when I woke up, I had forgotten why I was there. I was very rude to your other servants due to the fact that I had no recollection of them, once again I beg your forgiveness, and hope that you will be able to do the same for the others. The blame goes to all of us, and I beg you to forgive all of us. Thank you my Overlord.

Your Lordship it was very necessary to destroy the video devices and their storage units because it filmed Soren flirting with important officials. I admit it was very fun to find and destroy the cameras but it was for a good reason because we didn't want the officials enemy's seeing Soren and use it in a campaign disrupting the timeline. Sam tried to hide some of the storage units but I managed to find them in time. After the gunfire began I had to escape on the hijacked helicopter fearing for my life, but I didn't know it was hijacked I was told it was bought for "cheap".

Lord, I know that I hid the storage units, and emailed them to you, but I must inform you that ToR told me that the new storage for email is free for unlimited amount of space. I asked if he was sure, and he said yes. As for Mask, he HELPED ToR get the precious gem, as ToR said he would get part of the money.

Your highness, though it may appear otherwise, I was not "flirting" with the officials. I was trying to convince them to let me examine the footage they had taken of LT,  who had been filmed initially conversing with a woman in a helicopter pilot suit. It was for this reason that I tried to recover the footage, even though I was filmed in the process. Your lordship, we do all for your well being and out of your kindness! Please forgive us!

YOU BLASTED WORMS!!!! Not you of course my lord. What these WORMS say is partially true. I did take all those photos of the toilet. But it was very clean and shiny! I did not however give Taggerung of Redwall any gems of any kind, I give him but a simple piece of dung. You must believe me, not these WORMS!! Also, I should mention, ToR took the rest of the pictures in exchange for the dungball.

This is true, most supreme lordship, but it was Soren who had taken the gems from the Tagg. Taggerung must have made a team with Soren in order to confiscate the gems! I was then forced to push him down t5he stairs in an attempt to retrieve the gems. But once I did and went to him to get the gems, they were nowhere to be found.

Your mighty lordship, it is true I took the gems from Tagg, but it was not a deal between us. But because I needed to draw the dragon away from the hotel. In an effort to preserve the mission,  I ran to a nearby creek and threw the gems in. However, LT was following me, and I belligerent he took the gems from the creek and back to the hotel. This caused the dragon to turn his attention to the hotel, after which he attacked it.

When the hotel was destroyed, only LT was responsible for the destruction done to the Hotel, I tried to smash him to the side with a sledgehammer, but he ran on. Then when the dragon turned and dove on him, LT hurled the gems onto the roof of the hotel in fear for his life, he then duck and hid under a bush allowing the dragon to destroy the hotel.

Its true that I retrieved the gem from the creek your lordship, I was trying to save the hotel by drawing the dragon further away. But when I was trying to escape away from the hotel Delthion went crazy and tried to kill me with a sledge hammer. I ran but the only way to run was back to the hotel. After the dragon had melted the hotel I realized that Soren had stolen back the gem while I was dodging Delthion who was jeopardizing the mission by forcing me towards the hotel.

OOC: But it already states that you were running towards the hotel when I tried to smash you to the side with a sledgehammer.

OOC: I don't think it does it only says I was at the hotel causing it to be melted and then you were trying to kill me with a sledge hammer, I don't think it ever said I was running originally towards the hotel.

OOC:

Quote from: Soren the Warrior on November 30, 2014, 05:32:12 AM
Your mighty lordship, it is true I took the gems from Tagg, but it was not a deal between us. But because I needed to draw the dragon away from the hotel. In an effort to preserve the mission,  I ran to a nearby creek and threw the gems in. However, LT was following me, and I belligerent he took the gems from the creek and back to the hotel. This caused the dragon to turn his attention to the hotel, after which he attacked it.

OOC: Back to the hotel because you were attacking me with a sledge hammer. He left that part out.

OOC: No I didnt. Your supposed to be a theif.
Your lordship, the reason I re-took the gem was not only to draw the dragon away from any trace that could be led back to you, but also to save them from Tagg, who was attempting to take the items he coveted, the gems.

OOC: If there's a severe discrepancy, I'd prefer that y'all sort it out through PMs. Creating a bunch of posts like this clutters up the topic.

---

"If nothing else, I can see that this trip didn't go anywhere towards drawing you closer as a team. The backbiting and contradictions here are pathetic. I can see that my money on all of those "Leading Through the Magic of Friendship" books was wasted."

"I guess I'll just have to go back to what I know works. If perks don't get it done, fear will draw you together... fear of what will happen if you fail me, which you have so miserably done here. I'll tell you flat out now: one of you is not going to be leaving this room the same way that you came in. You can beg and grovel as much as you like, but I find it annoying, not ingratiating, and it will not help you escape punishment."

"The claims against Taggerung_of_Redwall are numerous. I would prefer for him to give his account of the situation, but I'm willing to hear from anyone who is willing to shed some light on why he took the actions he apparently did. After that is cleared up, I will decide which of you should be disposed of."

Jasper looked around at his companions. None of them seemed keen to defend Tagg, likely because it was clear the dire consequences would be carried out on the one deemed ultimately responsible for the failure. Tagg himself seemed to be in a silent trance, likely induced by pure fear of the staggering penalties James was alluding to. Jasper decided someone may as well give the side of the story Tagg had revealed on the ride back to base. He stepped forward:

Oh great overlord, Tagg informed me of his explanations not long ago, on the ride back to your domain. His health seemed to be deteriorating, so I recorded it on this: *Pulls out a small device and turns it on. A hologram appears of an earlier version of Tagg*

*The hologram of Tagg:* "Oh great overlord, it is true that I stole the gem, but it was necessary under the circumstances. You see, in the hotel I noticed that Mask was taking an incredible amount of pictures of the toilet alone. I figured over the trip he might have taken billions of them. This was alright thanks to the admirable storage capacity of the camera, but later Jasper and another one of these bumbling blockheads smashed the cameras by the mistake mentioned earlier. Sam wasted little time in emailing the entire storage of the cameras straight to you great overlord. I am well versed in email, since I own one myself, and realized the storage capacity would be too much for the regular email plan, and would cost millions to fix.

I asked around about how we may earn some more cash to compensate you, when Mask informed me that there was an old abandoned mine in the northwest. He told me nothing of the ferocious Dragon that lived there. I journeyed to the mine and found the gem unguarded in the open. I took it back to the hotel, not realizing a dragon was stalking me on the way back. When I got there, it roared and attacked. Although some of these servants mention me trading off the gem in some sort of imaginary dark scheme, I was merely trying to keep us all alive by changing the target the Dragon was after. (If a single servant had kept the gem, he would surely have been roasted alive.) After that it was a mad game of hot potato, with dire consequences for the loser. Some of the servants did not immediately see the Dragon, and that accounts for the odd things they claim to have seen me do with the gem.

Earlier Mask mentioned me taking pictures in exchange for dung. This is clearly misled, I had no want or desire for this disgusting material, and merely grabbed it so that his hands were free to take the gem when the dragon was hot on our heels. As for the photos I supposedly took in exchange for it, that was merely me taking a picture of the raging Dragon to show that it was not us, but the Dragon that melted the entire hotel. Please understand, great overlord, that it was not my doing that this mission went the way it did!"

*hologram fades*

OOC: If tagg comes he can edit my post, or write a new one if he likes. Anything works for me, I just wrote this to keep the game going on the admirable pace it has been at thus far. I've never been in such an active and enjoyable roleplay  :)

"I've heard enough. You have been unbelievably incompetent -- all you had to do was nothing! I'm tempted to destroy all of you, but my robotic servants' Chameleon programs are glitched right now. I can't use them for undercover work, so I have to keep some of you around until my objectives here are complete."

"The purpose here is to build an effective team. One of you does not fit in with my vision. He is the one who will be punished. Watch and learn from his most fascinating fate."

A previously hidden spotlight shone down on The Mask's glass capsule. A robotic arm suddenly lowered from inside the capsule's ceiling, and grabbed The Mask, holding him in position. A second arm came down with a large hypodermic needle and began injecting the unfortunate servant in several places.

The effect was immediate. White hair began to spring up all across The Mask's body. The other servants winced as several sickening cracks and pops came from the direction of the lit capsule. The Mask's body changed and transformed, bones and flesh molding and changing, until -- !

The Overlord spoke.

"Yes, what you see before you is a gorilla. An albino gorilla, to be precise. I decided that this was an appropriate punishment, considering his recent behavior. This bizarre fascination with a toilet is unseemly for any human servant of mine. While it could have been forgiven if he was helpful, he in fact did nothing to salvage the situation. Trust me when I say that he will be far more useful in his current state than he ever would have been working with you."

"I have some unfinished business to conduct in this time, but it does not concern any of you. Instead, you will be going a few years into the future (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=948.msg30856#msg30856), to meet up with some old friends of mine."

"The teleporter will take you near a city called Cupertino, in the old state of California. An agent I have on the ground, Max Marcos, will greet you there and assist you throughout this mission. I cannot beam you directly to your destination due to the fact that it is a frequented area, and your abrupt appearance there would be noticed, so he will also assist you in finding appropriate transportation to the meeting place. You're to talk with the Death-Defying Beavers that are there and pick up the "Omega Six" package. They will know what I'm asking for. Get to the destination, get the package, bring it back safely, and don't cause a scene."

---
A few hours later...

"I'm not quite sure how you manage it. No package anywhere in sight. An expenditure from my account for a $5000 bribe to a Mr. Tim Amack, an ex-bus driver. The prolonged kidnapping of a girl who was a passenger on a bus. Finally, a Death-Defying Beaver Battle Saucer appeared in a nearby part of the city and started blowing things up. Do you have any idea how many people are going to have to have their memories wiped to avoid contaminating the timeline?"

"I had a solemn promise from the Beavers, who never break their word, to avoid interfering with this planet unless their presence was requested. So I surmise you boneheads did meet with the beavers, and somehow inspired them to perform this act of mayhem. Why, and what happened to my package? Why the bribe? And what's with this taking a captive and hiding out in the woods with her? What does "do not cause a scene" mean to you fools, anyway? I'm not talking about film-making!"

"Start talking. If you're lucky maybe I'll only vaporize one of you."

Your mighty lordship, I'm afraid I don't know much about the events during our mission. But I'll tell you what I do know.
We teleported down to the surface, and as soon as we made it to the city of Cupertino, we went to see your agent, Mr. Marcos. He instructed us to get in the back of a van, while he made arrangements for us to have minimal contact, in an effort not to disrupt the timeline. After 15 minutes of waiting, he returned, and got us out from the van. However, as soon as I stepped out, I was hit on the head, and fell unconscious. When I came too, I was tied to a bus seat near the back. I had a towel in my mouth, preventing me from speaking. I had my limbs tied up, which prevented me from moving. I noticed a girl tied up in the back of the bus with me. But she was still unconscious. I saw someone who looked like Tagg hand the driver an envelope, and then walk out of the bus. The bus driver came to the back of the bus and knocked me unconscious again.
When I came too a second time, the bus was on its side. The girl was gone, as was the driver. I had fallen from my ##:1162 and I climbed out of the burning bus, only to see a Death Defying Beaver saucer destroy the building next to me. I searched for what seemed like hours, looking for my team members or Mr. Marcos. I couldn't find the , or the package.

Most gracious and esteemed Overlord. It is true that we failed you in your mission but it was LT that handed the driver an envelope, not Tagg. It contained some sort of hypnotic jewel, I know this because as soon as the driver opened it, he looked as if he had no control over his body. I thought originally that he was trying to help the driver have no knowledge of us, but then he told me and a DDB to find something for him and that he would stay right there, unfortunately this was a lie. When I questioned him about where I could find such a thing he shoved me and the DDB out of the van and ordered the driver to drive off, leaving me and the DDB in a cloud of smoke. Thankfully there was a working over-sized hamster wheel, that the DDB had borrowed from Ham the hamster. We then followed the van as fast as possible to watch LT whack Soren and drive off again, we didn't have time to stop and pick him up and followed them at top speed, eventually the DDB called in a battle saucer and beamed up and started firing at the van but his aim was terrible. 

OOC: Who's DDB isn't that a Death Defying Beaver?

BIC: Milord I can understand your anger but I have an explanation, After the bus driver knocked out Soren and dragged him on board the bus I chased after him, when I climbed aboard after Tim and Soren, the bus driver demanded a ransom for Soren's life, I handed him my personal hypnotic gem to try and trick him into handing over Soren for nothing but he caught on and pointed a small deadly plasma gun at me hiding it from the others. he told me quietly that if I didn't do as he said he would kill me and Soren. I had to do something so after I pushed Delthion and the DDB out of the way and knocked out Soren again I summoned a different Beaver to help. I am a friend with a high ranking beaver and he agreed to time jump and help us.
I think something went wrong with their ship and they crashed and had to be teleported out by their ally's, however the other beavers ship was flown by a noob but they covered them with suppressive fire to let my friend escape. Luckily while Tim was distracted by the buildings being blasted I was able to throw Soren off the bus I was unable to get the kidnaped girl off as well though, then when Tim threatened to kill me I told him I would give him five Million for my life and the girl, luckily for me he couldn't count very well and I got away with giving him five thousand instead.

Turns out Tim's a really good driver and he lost the team, they were chasing us. After Tim dropped me off in the most random spot he could find I searched for the team and Soren for some time, meeting up first with Soren and then the team. I had to take the girl with me because I couldn't leave her on the street.

Mask's fate was hilarious, I can't stop cracking up.

Oh great Overlord, many of these inaccurate accounts likely sound like a jumble of nonsense and excuses. Luckily I saw the whole thing unfold firsthand, and I'm here to clear things up for you. Once again, due undoubtedly to fear of punishment, these servants have frantically covered the main ideas of what happened, but have entirely missed the important details. I'll start from the beginning:

Once we made it to the city we met up with the agent, as Soren has said. Max told us as a side job he runs an enchilada dealership, and had a large shipment due only a mile from the meeting place. He informed us that we could ride along in the back of the van in order to get there quietly. We did so, and finally wound up at a small mexican restaurant full of dancing people in taco suits. They were having a raging fiesta, and they had set up a wild game of bowling in the center of the restaurant. They gave Delthion a try, but he's an awful bowler, and he threw the bowling ball over the entire crowd- straight into the forehead of Soren. The poor fellow seemed to be in terrible shape, and under the advice of LT Sandpaw, we put a towel in his mouth to keep him cool. We were worried he might have broken something, so to prevent him from moving and making it worse, we tied him to a bus seat in the restaurant's "Spicy Salsa" Dance & Party Bus.

Max insisted we spend a little time at the fiesta to fit in. (No one shows up at a party and then immediately leaves!) Despite all our warnings, Delthion tried to bowl again, and he hit a young girl. We had similar worries for her, so we did the same to her as we did Soren, and put her in the party bus. Her friends realized she was gone later, and reported to the police that she was "kidnapped," but we merely were trying to save her.

After all of that, we  packed on the bus and went to meet the beavers. We all unloaded (including Soren), and the meeting went well, but Tim the bus driver received a call that he had been fired while the meeting was taking place. Determining that ransom was the best option to earn some cash to replace his lost income, he grabbed Soren and dragged him onto the bus. Sandpaw managed to get on the bus, and pushed Delthion and a Death-Defying Beaver off the bus in an effort to save them. I assume the "friend he called in to cover us with suppressive fire" is the beaver saucer that exploded half the city. The rest of us did what we could to chase the bus, but Tim got away and apparently dropped Sandpaw and the girl off in a random alley.

After meeting up, we all decided that we couldn't leave the girl on the street, so we kept her with us. I proposed giving the girl back, but the police believed we were responsible for her kidnapping and the missing bus, so we had to just high tail it out of there. I'll let me fellow servants continue from that point.

It is true my lord that I accidentally knocked both Soren and the girl unconscious but this is only because LT was standing in the kitchen which was hidden from the rest of the guests which were facing me. Anyway, back to LT: He was projecting a hologram right in front of me, it looked like it was from the Exorcist so I was startled each time and swung at it with the bowling ball, of course when I met no resistance since holograms are only light I let go of the bowling ball in surprise, then it thudded into Soren's head, and on the second time it was onto the girl's head.

It's true Milord I was projecting the image to motivate him with a cheering figure. The first time I was distracted and didn't see what it was I was projecting The second time I saw it and hurried to reprogram it but Delthion had already knocked out the girl. I had no intention to scare him, I had no idea he was scared by it.
Actually it was supposed to be a positive thing.

Overlord, this is all true, but LT chose the hologram also to scare some people of the future. He figured that he could have fun scaring some people of the future, and get away with it.

But this was only true due to Silent Sam's encouragement, even I being distracted by the roar of the crowd could hear him chanting; "Do it LT do it!" I wasn't going to bring it up unless Sam blamed LT. But he did, so I did, so you heard.

It's true I was scaring people during the Fiesta for fun, but it was because several people were encouraging me including Sam, the point is when I was trying to motivate Delthion someone must have switched my motivation tape with my projector but I have no idea who did it.

Anyway when we met up with the team after the whole bus incident I found the others had lost the package we were forced to hide in the woods with the girl because of several hundred police officers were arresting anyone that moved.

It is true that I was motivating LT, but I had to because then Delthion would tell everyone I was afraid of... *gulp* well... uh... *whispers* tree nuts. *speaks normally* So, I was forced to. As for the package, I'm not sure where that was. I wasn't the one that got to hold it.

OOC: If something in my post isn't right, tell me and I'll correct it.

"I'm going to get straight to the point. The only redeeming virtue of the failure you've made out of this assignment is that it gives me an opportunity to try out my newest toy. Watch and learn as it demonstrates its amazing power on one of you."

The spotlight shined down on a robotic turret. It swiveled around to face Taggerung_of_Redwall's capsule, and fired a blue beam. The energy moved through the capsule and struck Tagg -- there was a flash of something, then he seemed to disappear. The spotlight shone into the middle of the room, revealing for the first time a desk. A large glass bottle sat on top of it.

"Don't think that I was so kind as to completely vaporize your fellow servant. Instead, I've given him a new perspective on life, one that matches his productivity in the last mission. Look carefully at the bottle."

The servants looked, but from the distance they were at, it wasn't possible to see much of anything. Then a crane arm gently lifted the bottle, and moved it over within arm's reach of the servants (at least, what would have been arm's reach if there weren't impenetrable glass capsules separating each of them from the rest of the world), giving them a better view of what was inside. There were cloud-like patterns of fog through most of the bottle, but at the bottom there was about two inches of dirt. Nothing else seemed remarkable about it, but then --

Something incredibly tiny was pushing its way through the dirt.

"Meet your new and improved little friend. I've always wanted to do this since I first took up Overlording, but I could never get the exact recipe to work right. Some people got broken to bits. Others just disappeared. But after years of trying, I figured it out, and here it is in action: the galaxy's first working shrink ray."

"Don't shed any tears over this... it might drown him. Anyway, he should be able to make out all right. I think I left some tiny plants and food pellets in there. As long as he doesn't get eaten by an earthworm, he has a decent chance of survival. A much better chance than any of you have if this next mission goes south..."

"You can't seem to interact properly with the outside world. So, I'm sending you to do a little errand where you shouldn't have to coexist with anyone but yourselves. You'll be teleported onto an underwater base deep in the Arctic Ocean (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=888.msg28710#msg28710). I have a library there that contains one of my favorite books, "The Essential Profile of Adequate Minions". It's been ever too long since I read it -- obviously, since I keep picking servants like you. Find it, then hit the transponder button in the center of the base when you're done, and I'll beam you up. Make sure you're holding the book; otherwise it will not teleport with you."

---

A few hours later...

The Overlord sounded weary as he castigated his servants. "I'm not sure how you always manage to mess things up, but you did it again. My data recorder indicates you found the book in ten minutes, so you should have requested to be teleported back right away. Instead, you stuck around and started messing with the controls and defense systems. Then the base was flooded when a submarine attempting to dock struck and penetrated its walls. A submarine whose pilot was apparently distracted (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=888.msg28731#msg28731) by a snorkeling cow. Which one of you was playing with the solid hologram projector, and why? Finally, when you were desperately trying to get beamed out before you drowned, you left my book behind!"

"Frankly, this disaster is inexcusable. Try to convince me that I shouldn't destroy all of you. I'm past fed up with your blundering, but maybe your excuses will amuse me enough to spare some of you."

Milord it was a disaster as you said, when we reached the base we found it filled with flesh eating starfish. We managed to find your book and fight our way though the starfish when Sam gets the idea to clean out your underwater base using the defense systems. I admit I thought it was a good idea but while we were clearing out all the starfish I noticed my personal hologram device was missing. While searching for it I held up the group who were impatient to leave. Then Soren admitted to stealing it and hiding it under the main control panel wit the other hologram equipment. When I found it the submarine struck The side of the base, I lost my projector and nearly my life trying to escape. I don't know how we lost the book, it was entrusted to Jasper for safe keeping while we clear the base of flesh eating starfish.

But before this Milord, Soren had hacked into the musical programs that are set into the walls all around the base, he sometimes thinks he's a cow and programmed it to play cow sounds every time it was pushed. A few seconds later we heard someone playing it incessantly over some old 80's music, then he programmed a hologram to form himself into a cow, he then fell into the water and added a snorkel to the program. That's what happened to the submarine pilot. Once again most esteemed Lordship I beg your forgiveness.

OOC: I'm not sure I understand Del's last post, so I'll just roll with it like I read it. I sent Del a PM for clarification.
BIC:
Your graciousness, it is true that I accessed the sound system in your base, and that I used LT's holographic projector. But it was for good reason.
You see my lord, Sam was the one who was heading the clearing out of starfish from your base. He said it would go quicker if we could scare the starfish away. He said that starfish are afraid of cows. And if we projected an image of a cow then it would scare away the starfish. So I grabbed the holographic projector and used it too project the image of a cow to scare the starfish. However, the targeting sensors were off. LT rarely keeps up with that kind of thing. So I had no idea where it was projecting the image of a cow. Sam said that maybe the audio of cow sounds would work. So sense he didn't know how to do it, I accessed the sound system of the base. I used it to play cow sounds and drive the starfish out faster. So you see your lordship that it was all for the betterment of you and your assets.

It is true that I was the one entrusted with the book during the other servant's unwarranted assault on the slow and (mostly) harmless starfish - I mean, have you seen how long it takes those things to even move a foot or two? I would be impressed if someone managed to get bitten. That being said, their bites do hurt quite a bit. How do I know that, you ask? Well, that crazy Delthion was mad enough to put one on my back while I was guarding the book! I don't know if it was some sort of bizarre prank, but I had to remove it immediately. While I was doing so, and this may seem crazy, several living shovels (complete with arms and legs) sprinted into the room, bashed me over the head with a fish, (by the bruise on my head I believe it was a flounder) stole the book and ran off in multiple directions. As they ran, they sang at the top of their lungs about their favorite types of exquisite furniture, and swung in all directions with an assorted array of fish. That was about when a submarine smashed into the base, for the reason my fellow servants have described previously. I leave it to my fellow servants to explain the existence of these shovels, and the same to explain the fact that these shovels were alive, as I do not know the reasons myself, and they undoubtedly had something to do with it.

This may be true Milord, but that was only because Silent Sam had threatened me at gun-point! (He had found one in the wrecked submarine). He forced me to put the carnivorous starfish on Jasper's back, but I saw these Beaver's with some sort of device around his head. This is only an observation Milord, and it is only Sam's fault that the book was lost.

Milord you should know I knew none of this, after we had finished clearing out the starfish I was searching for my holographic projector that Soren hid from me. While I was searching they must have gotten bored and started messing around. I had no idea Sam would threaten a team member by gun point or that Delthion put a Flesh eating Starfish on Jaspers back. Please forgive me Lord.

OOC: Hey, that means that if anyone tries to say that you had something to do with it then they'd be a liar! I like your strategy.

OOC: Thank you, :)

   O great Overlord, it is true that I used the defense systems to clean out the base, and made Del put a flesh eating starfish on Jasper, but it was all because that Soren was very angry at me because I stole his favorite watch. I had to steal his watch because he kept dropping it, and that was our only way of checking the time. I eventually gave it back to him, but he said that he was VERY mad at me, but madder at Del. He said that Del kept annoying him all day long because he said that Soren would be next to disappear. Also Soren doesn't really like any of us. He even has a list of the order that he doesn't like us. But on to the point, he said that he would make sure I disappear before we get back if I didn't do these things. Being the weakling I am, I was honestly scared of him.  I am very sorry Overlord.

.

Milord it must be true, Sam must be so scared of everything that he went to desperate measures to protect himself, even if it meant jeopardizing the mission.

Quote from: Delthion on December 10, 2014, 10:25:10 PM
What Soren said, is true, but I only was acting in this way because of Sam threatening me to say these things, he forced me into saying that I hated everyone, it was him who forced me into saying all of these things, I like all of my fellow servants.

OOC: Sorry Del, I meant that Soren doesn't like us. I'll revise it.
BIC: O great overlord, I must tell you that LT is clumsy, and he was touching many buttons, one could kill us all, and jeopardizing the mission. Luckily I stopped him, I wasn't going to bring it up, as he is embarrassed about it, but he is blaming the whole thing on me, causing me to tell you that this happened, and if you're wondering when this happened, it was after the little incident that I was forced to do.

But that was only because Jasper threatened him that if he did not do what he asked, he would blow up the facility with several nuclear warheads. I tried to notify security but he noticed me and shot a gas tank, after this we were forced to evacuate the facility with no reward for our efforts.

Overlord, consider what Delthion has just said. He claims that I threatened Sam to threaten Delthion so that he would put a flesh eating starfish on my own back?

Sorry. That just doesn't add up very well, I can attest that I positively would never desire to be bitten by a flesh eating star fish. Any servant that wanted something like that to happen would be absolutely mad.

Luckily, I have the extra information on the scenario so that it does add up well. As Delthion said, I did say this to Sam:
"If you do not do what I ask, I will blow up the facility with several nuclear warheads."

Taken out of context, that sounds horrible. However, in that conversation I was not asking Sam to threaten Delthion to force him to put a starfish on my back. I was asking him to signal the incoming submarine to stop before it crashed into us. His threatening of Delthion was entirely some scheme of his own, which I had no part in - again, why would I want to be bit by a flesh eating starfish?

Also "the facility" was referring, not to the underwater base, but to Sam's house. You see, he was panicking and doing rediculous things, so I thought an exaggerated threat might get his head straight. We cannot tolerate servants freaking out on the job, and the threat seemed to work, and he tried to stop the submarine. It was not my fault that Delthion took this statement so seriously. After all, why on earth would I want to detonate a nuclear bomb on a base that I was inside of? Sam did not take it so seriously, and actually thanked me later for getting him back on track.

As Delthion said, I did shoot a gas tank. I noticed him running toward security, but I didn't know he was trying to report me, I thought he was running from a particularly large group of flesh eating starfish. I shot the gas tank in hopes that it would explode, killing the dangerous starfish, whose bites I knew all to well, were very painful.

Ultimately, the fault is with Sam, who's nervousness and personal fear were not characteristic of a true servant of the Overlord. He attested to his insecurity only a minute ago, when he labeled himself as "a weakling." No proper and effective servant to such a powerful Overlord such as you could consider themselves weak.

Quote from: Jasper on December 11, 2014, 02:59:10 AM
Overlord, consider what Delthion has just said. He claims that I threatened Sam to threaten Delthion so that he would put a flesh eating starfish on my own back?

Sorry. That just doesn't add up very well, I can attest that I positively would never desire to be bitten by a flesh eating star fish. Any servant that wanted something like that to happen would be absolutely mad.

Luckily, I have the extra information on the scenario so that it does add up well. As Delthion said, I did say this to Sam:
"If you do not do what I ask, I will blow up the facility with several nuclear warheads."

Taken out of context, that sounds horrible. However, in that conversation I was not asking Sam to threaten Delthion to force him to put a starfish on my back. I was asking him to signal the incoming submarine to stop before it crashed into us. His threatening of Delthion was entirely some scheme of his own, which I had no part in - again, why would I want to be bit by a flesh eating starfish?

Also "the facility" was referring, not to the underwater base, but to Sam's house. You see, he was panicking and doing rediculous things, so I thought an exaggerated threat might get his head straight. We cannot tolerate servants freaking out on the job, and the threat seemed to work, and he tried to stop the submarine. It was not my fault that Delthion took this statement so seriously. Sam did not, and actually thanked me later for getting him back on track.

As Delthion said, I did shoot a gas tank. I noticed him running toward security, but I didn't know he was trying to report me, I thought he was running from a particularly large group of flesh eating starfish. I shot the gas tank in hopes that it would explode, killing the dangerous starfish, whose bites I knew all to well, were very painful.

Ultimately, the fault is with Sam, who's nervousness and personal fear were not characteristic of a true servant of the Overlord. He attested to his insecurity only a minute ago, when he labeled himself as "a weakling." No proper and effective servant to such a powerful Overlord such as you could consider themselves weak.

OOC: But you said that I lied, therefore you lied!

OOC: Please stop posting out of character in the thread. I did not say that you lied, I said that you misinterpreted my statement.  

Ultimately, I never changed or argued against your statement that I said:

"If you do not do as I ask I will blow up the facility with several nuclear warheads"

I merely said that "If you do not do as I ask" was referring to me telling Sam to signal the submarine, and "the facility" was referring to Sam's house, not the underwater base.

If you read through the previous rounds, there are several instances where this sort of thing is done, and there weren't problems with it then. A particularly nice one was when Matthias was accused of threatening someone with pickles, but he changed it saying that he intended it to be taken differently due to another factor. I can't remember the details exactly, but I can look back if you feel it is necessary. I hope this works everything out.  ;)

OOC: I know there isn't a strict rule against this, but please don't 'backseat moderate'. I'm running things here; if there is a problem with someone's post, I will take care of it. As it happens, Jasper is correct. There is plenty of room for interpretation in the sentence that you posted here, and his response was well within the rules.

---

"I have nothing against any one of you that considers himself weak, because I have never adopted a policy of encouraging self-delusion in my servants. You are all weak, pitiful little creatures, and your constant failures make me want to squash you like the little bugs you are. I've spent so many years -- my entire life! -- planning all of this out, and I'm not going to have everything frittered away now because none of you can follow orders."

Electric current flowed through each of the glass capsules, giving each of the servants a good shock. The Overlord waited until they were done twitching before he continued to speak.

"Nevertheless, it is true that there is more room for improvement in one of you than in the others. I have just the solution to that problem. Observe."

The spotlight shone down, revealing a robotic arm as it reached down from the top of SilentSam's glass capsule, and quickly injected something into his back. A moment passed, then Sam smiled. He turned around, first to the left, then the right -- and started walking forward. He bumped into the desk where the glass bottle had previously sat, but didn't flinch... or seem to notice the impact at all.

Or seem to notice much of anything, for that matter.

The Overlord spoke.

"This is one of the few technologies in my possession that I can say, regretfully, that I did not invent. It is the product of years of work by the Death-Defying Beavers, spun off from a cancelled American black ops program. When I first started negotiations with the Beavers so many years ago, this was one of their accomplishments that they revealed to me, and I had to have it. I played with remote controlled cars all the time when I was a youngster, but I thought it would be a whole new kind of excitement to have a remote controlled person."

Sam continued walking, quite robotically, through the room. The other servants could hear the bumps and crashes as he hit various unseen items.

"Unfortunately I never was very good at R/C driving. He's probably going to have quite a few bruises before I'm done with him. I still expect he'll be quite useful, though, especially once I get it working so I can see through his eyes -- then I can use his body to go places and perform errands outside of the lab. Oh, and don't worry too much about him. He's safer here than any of you are likely to be, and anyway I'll let him think sometimes -- on lunch breaks and weekends."

The room went pitch-black. The Overlord sounded jovial.

"So now that's taken care of. I assume your morale is soaring after that little object lesson. That's good, because you have a big mission up ahead."

"I have a friend who has requested my help in a venture that he has going at the World Fair (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1088.msg34749#msg34749). Specifically, he asked if I had any "useless people I could spare to help sell some goats' milk". Naturally, I told him that I had some minions who were perfectly suited to the job. So, you have seven hundred goats, all the equipment needed to take care of them and obtain their milk, a large vat to store the milk in, plenty of cartons, and a hose that connects to the vat, to fill the cartons with. Sell as much milk at as expensive a price as you can to the visitors at the Fair. These are not your goats, so treat them accordingly, and don't let anything happen to them."

---

About eight days later...

"Great job," the Overlord said, sarcastically. "In a week you managed to sell seven hundred goats. Truly a masterful work of salesmanship, except that you were supposed to sell their milk. But I can see from the headline that the bystanders got a special discount -- "Fair Flooded with 25 tons of goats' milk". That's a little much of a free sample, don't you think?"

"So, the goats are gone, the milk is gone, and my friend has every right to be very upset with you lot. I have promised him that one of you is going to get to enter his service, to work on repaying your great debt. Tell me which of you that ought to be."

My great overlord, I'll recount what I can say of the story to the best of my abilities. When we got the the Fair, we were informed that there was a possible buyer for the goat milk. Naturally, we went to discuss it with the man. His representative said because it was going to be such a large purchase, that we should meet at the Starbucks tent. Me and Jasper went to see the man at the tent. When we got there we were both promptly clubbed on the head, and passed out. When I awoke, Jasper was nowhere to be found. I was tied up in a hot air balloon that was 5000 feet off the ground. I was able to get my head over the railing to see a scuffle going on on the ground by some hot air balloons, and then one exploded. I as co seed as to maybe the members of my team were in trouble, so I got out of my ##:1162 and lower the hot air balloon down. When I got there, there was goat milk everywhere, and the man who was supposed to buy it trying to steal the cat that stored the milk. I attempted to stop him. But he had help. I was chocked from behind and those like a rag doll I to a Buy-In-Stock store. She I la red, I must have had brokent a bottle of Odorient, which produceced a smell that made me fell sick. I passed out and awoke to find my teammates standing over me, drenched in goat milk.

 Milord what Soren, Jasper were doing was none of my business, but me and Delthion were collecting milk in the tent. It was going great and we had just finished on our two hundredth one when a massive explosion ripped though the tent. It was scary and loud and I couldn't  hear well for several hours. There was milk everywhere and it was soaking into the ground. Turns out it was really dry where the fair was taking place and it soaked up all the milk in seconds. Me and Delthion were desperate, we didn't even know if our team was still alive so we decided to whatever we could to make the money. The poor goats were very tired after making all that milk and were useless in that factor.
Then we noticed the butchers tent, they were supposed to have a massive barbecue but a ton of milk had ruined all their meat. Turns out the dude running the barbecue was a rich Texan oil worker, he bought every goat for the barbecue for twice it's actual worth. After selling the goats I left the money in Delthion's care for safe keeping something we should stop doing. We had just found Soren lying knocked out when someone snitched the money. I had never before seen the thief's and knew nothing about them, Jasper mentioned he had once known them a long time ago. We chased after the robber but were unable to catch the thief. Please forgive me lord I tried my best to finish the mission.

OOC: Apologies, my mistake. It will not happen again.

BIC: As Soren said, we both went to this buyer to sell him the milk. When I entered the tent Soren was immediately clubbed and fell to the ground senseless. I was about to yell for help, when I felt the back of my head explode in pain and everything went black.

I awoke gagged and tied to the bottom of a hot air balloon 5000 feet off the ground. I heard Soren awake above, and break his bonds and begin to descend. I tried to tell him where I was, but the gag prevented me from saying anything legible. There was nothing left for me to do but observe in silence. It was none of our faults the milk was spilled: I saw someone dressed as a frog trip over the hose, and cause all of it to spill. I also saw the random explosion of another hot air balloon, which made me incredibly afraid that a similar thing would happen to ours.

What Sandpaw mentions must have happened while I was knocked out, because I missed them selling all the goats. When Soren got the balloon to the ground, he missed me lying underneath it, tied up and gagged. He ran off to stop someone before being knocked out or something - I couldn't quite see exactly what happened. After some further effort, I untied my bonds, and went in the direction Soren took in hopes of finding him.

When I did find him, he was knocked out, and already surrounded by the rest of our group. Apparently Delthion tagged along even though he was told not to, and to guard the money instead. We quickly grabbed Soren and went back to the money, only to find a snitch was taking it all! I couldn't believe my eyes! It was that bus driver from a few missions ago- I believe his name was Tim? I told them all who it was, and we immediately took off after the thief. Delthion got tired very quickly, and decided to break off from the rest of us to drink from the puddles of goat's milk so he could cool off. He never had been one for running. The rest of us caught up to the thief, and we encircled him, but there was gap in the circle where Delthion should have been, and he ran through it and got away.

Milord what Jasper says is true, and too top it all off the man who took all the goats turned out not to be the butcher at all but some random guy impersonating a butcher, We didn't even get a free barbecue.

OOC: Forgot to put that in my original post.

But the only reason I followed them in the first place, oh most gracious and benevolent Overlord: Is because LT managed to take half of the money with him, it was caught on his jacket, but when I told him this he wouldn't listen to me and told me to go back, I followed him and kept telling him this but he refused to pay any attention to me. Then when we were chasing the thief, Soren asked me to get him a drink, I was thirsty too, so I found a puddle of goat's milk bottled some for Soren and then drank some for me, then I took off after the rest.

OOC: Lol I had half a million buckaroos stuck in my jacket that's something I got to see unfortunately I didn't notice lol.


BIC: Milord I merely thought Delthion was abandoning his post I had no idea the money was stuck in my jacket. I was to preoccupied by the recent explosions and Soren who was knocked out and the problem with the milk. The money on my jacket must have fallen off while I was chasing the thief.

"I've heard enough. You were all useless -- what good are servants that are so easily and repeatedly knocked unconscious? However, there is a greater offense against me that must be punished."

"I told all of you that nothing could be allowed to happen to the goats. LT Sandpaw: you directly disobeyed me. I cannot have a servant that so blatantly disregards my orders."

The spotlight shone down where LT Sandpaw was standing. The glass capsule opened up, but before he could move a robot picked him up and carried him, kicking and struggling, to a corner of the room. Part of the floor opened up and the robot dropped the hapless servant into the hole. He fell, screaming, downwards... several moments passed, until he could no longer be heard. Then, suddenly, LT appeared directly above the pit again -- and fell again, with the same result as the first time. This continued for a long time, probably ten minutes, until the Overlord finally said, "All right, that's enough of a racket. Computer, turn on the sonic damper."

The screaming stopped. The falling did not. The Overlord continued.

"When I first got into Overlording, there seemed to be a strange attraction among my peers to the concept of dropping former servants through holes. I must admit I never understood the appeal of this, just because the fun lasted for such a short amount of time. With the advent of modern technology, though, I was able to invent the first true bottomless pit. Auto-teleportation brings the subject back upwards, to continue falling. Thus, what was once a short and relatively anticlimactic punishment can now be drawn out for hours, days, weeks -- potentially for years. In this case, I expect I will let him fall for a week or so before giving him to my friend to deal with."

"So, only three of you left. I can hardly believe that your numbers dropped so fast. But three should be the perfect number to handle one last little errand for me."

"I'm craving sweet tea right now, and I'd love to have a burger and some fries to go with it. There's a fast food joint in the time period you're going to, called McDonalds (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=948.msg31680#msg31680), that sells all of these. I will teleport you near there, with enough cash to get me what I'm asking for. Get me the biggest of everything they have. You can buy yourselves food while you're there, I don't care; just get my meal and bring it back up here safely and quickly."

---

Some time later...

"I can tell you one thing: none of you have a future in the food delivery business. I didn't get anything but a melted ice cream shake, a cold Jr. burger, and three stale french fries. I have no use for any of this. Also, the receipt suggests that the three of you ate very well -- no less than 150 dollars and 81 cents worth of expenditures. How can you justify spending that kind of money, without bringing anything back for your Overlord? Explain yourselves."

Most gracious and esteemed Overlord, the cause for this is the fact that Jasper had to go to the restroom, he mistook the basement for said restroom and found a button which he seemed to think was a door opener for the restroom, he pressed this button detonating a few kilos of C-4. After this happened some insane person started firing a rocket-launcher, I called the police and swiftly had them arrested, this is the cause for much of the bill, and also what caused Soren to be startled out of his wits and throw almost all of your fries into the air and onto the floor.

Your greatness, it is true I was startled, but for one reason: the crazy maniac that started firing before she was arrested hit me. I fell to my......hind quarters. When I got up, I couldn't hear anything. Everything was a buzz. Then Jasper, who was running out from the basement, came up and grabed me to use me as a human shield, even though the rocket launching had ceased. This started me out of my wits, my being temporarily deft then someone tacking me from behind. I'm afraid I dropped the fries. Jasper had gotten up and got the burger and soda, but then ate both. And then ate my meal. And Delthions. Jasper was unconcrollable in his eating habits. We had to run for our lives, he was so hungry. He started chewing on the walls and on people's arms. It was disturbing. Me and Del had to hide in the parking lot. When we returned, Jasper had eaten most of the food at the McDonalds. All that was left were some stale fries, a part milkshake, and one cold burger.
Jasper had stopped eating and.........jettisoned the inedible things he ate. While Jasper was sick, I said we should go to another McDonalds to get you food, but Del insisted on going straight home to our capsules. He said he didn't want to have another "Jasper episode".
So you can see your greatness, it's all Jaspers fault. If it wasn't for him not being observent, for him caring about himself more then the mission, for him having questionable dietary needs, we would have had a successful mission.

OOC: I see it's the "gun for Jasper round"  :D 

BIC:
What Delthion said was true, this odd McDonald's had door with the normal men's room logo on it, but when I entered it turned out to be the basement! I was confused and was about to exit when Delthion's voice from the shadows told me he couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet. I told him it was the basement, not the restrooms, but he said he had found a toilet and couldn't figure out how to flush it. I found him in a corner, and there was actually another door with the standard men's room logo on it. There was also a button that said "click to open" above it. I did so, but the door did not open, and instead whatever was inside the room exploded from C-4. I have no idea what that was about. It likely had something to do with that crazy jet packing missile shooting person that Delthion had arrested, but that comes later. This basement ordeal was neither my nor Delthion's fault, it was a sketchy McDonalds, I told Soren to pick a different one, but he wouldn't listen.

When I came out of the basement everything was going crazy! Soren was hit and knocked out by the launcher. Delthion and I weren't allowed to order because the McDonald's crew was dealing with an irritable group and their monopoly game. Soren began to wake up. That's when a single man, covered in pickles to hide his identity, and wearing a lab coat entered. He had the strangest array of weapons I've ever seen! First he fired at Soren with a "deaf-maker 2000" then once Soren had fallen to his knees, holding his ears, he fired at him with a "bullet proof vest maker 1750" which made him into some kind of odd metallic material, and too slow to move and, at my guess, bullet proof. I grabbed Soren and me and Del hid behind him. The crazy lab man fired epeatedly at us with an array of weapons, but Soren deflected them all in his new state. As we moved I yelled in Soren's ear:

"We gotta get out of here! You were supposed to get the food while I was in the bathroom! Where is it?"

He replied shakily: "That other group seemed obsessed with Monopoly! I was trying to start a game of it with them, and never had time to order food!"

Realizing he had not managed to get the food, I yelled to Del:

"Soren is too slow right now to do anything! You distract him and I'll go run and grab the food his great OverLordShip wanted, then we high tail it out of here!"

Delthion agreed, and when he began popping out from cover, I fell back and snuck around to the ordering area. While I was doing this, Delthion got hit by a "ski-jacket 2000" and then a "Kletomania 5685" which made him fully dressed in a ski suit, and steal some monopoly pieces and run out of the building, followed by that other group of odd customers! The lab man began focusing on me, and I managed to get all the things you wanted. I was about to escape, when he hit me with a "ravishing hunger for 1 hour 210." I immediately lost all sense of what was going on, and apparently ate everything in the store. The lab man exited, laughing insanely and talking about how all his inventions would  do well for his client "Bruce Wayne."

After Del came back and Soren got out of his state, I was very sick from all the food, but even so I told them we should get more food from the McDonald's that happened to be just across the road (terrible business idea in their part, but convenient for us.) As I staggered towards the McDonald's, and even crawled at one point, Soren and Delthion searched the wrecked one for what was left. They returned with the meager offerings you see now. Soren and Delthion began arguing about buying more food or not, and I ignored them and continued crawling. I was almost there, when they grabbed me and told me we had to get back to our capsules. Despite my protests they took me, saying they had found enough of the order anyway.

Luckily there was third McDonald's on the way, and I convinced them to stop there. They messed that up to though.

My lordship, this is true. But the pickled man and his companions, the ones that left the McDonalds with Delthion, are actually international thieves. Delthion works with them. This must have been a rest of some sort to see if all those crazy weapons worked. The weapons included the ones Jasper described, but also included a mind-control 8299. It's a weapon that induces mind control on a verbal command. When Del said "episode", he took control of me. Even though I wanted to go and find another restaurant, I couldn't because I had no real control over my body. I still feel some residual effects even now. I assure you my lordship, it wasn't my fault. 

Most esteemed and awesome Overlord, it is true that I have worked with those thieves in the past, but only to further your cause and attempt to complete the missions that you set before us. This time I have no idea what was going on, but I heard one of them whisper that Soren had asked for their assistance in overthrowing the Overlord. I was appalled and rushed forward to warn the McDonald's manager, unfortunately Jasper had bribed him to not talk to anyone but himself, when I questioned the assistant manager he said that Jasper had said that the day for the new overlords has come, and that he and Soren would rise to power. I desperately tried to get away but then the lab man fired at me and I went into an odd state, I couldn't help but steal the Monopoly pieces. When we had left I managed to convince Soren to turn away from his evil deeds, but Jasper would hear none of it. He started crawling to the McDonald's intent on poisoning your Lordship, I heard him say several times; "Must kill the Overlord, must kill the Overlord." Naturally, Soren and I were appalled and grabbed him and rushed him back before your Grace, trying to foil his evil deeds.

It is true I bribed the manager to talk to no one but myself, but that was because I heard some of Soren's plot, and I wanted to be sure the food was not poisoned. The assistant manager did indeed tell Delthion that the day for new Overlords had come and that Soren and I would rise to power, but that was because he was in the service of the old Overlord before the great Gryph! By the time of new Overlords, I meant that Gryph was in charge now, so he had better let us skip the line and get his order as soon as possible! He was saying that Soren and I were going to rise to power because I told him that we were both servants of the mighty overlord. He must have mixed up my statements and thought I meant that Soren and I were going to be the mighty Overlords. Just a mix up of words on his part, you see.

As for Delthion convincing Soren to turn away from his evil deeds, that was what he mentioned earlier - when he convinced Soren to join him in leaving the McDonald's and thus not fulfilling the mission, and instead returning to our capsules. For some reason Delthion seems to think completing your orders is evil. As you already know, I was crawling towards the McDonalds, because the other two servants weren't completing the orders, and even in my injured state, I knew completion of said orders was the most important thing.

As for me saying "Must kill the Overlord," that was because Overlord Tagg from round X was trying to stop the mission! If you remember, he teleported away at the end of round X, leaving Gryph in charge! It turns out he had teleported to the other McDonald's, and when I had almost crawled all the way there, he pulled me back and let Delthion and Soren ruin the rest. He said he wanted revenge on Gryph for taking his place, so he had to make sure the mission would fail.

Thus as I crawled, I chanted desperately because I wanted to complete the mission

"Must kill the Overlord (as in Overlord Tagg), must kill the Overlord (Tagg again) and fulfill the mission!

This still does not explain how they managed to fail when I convinced them to stop at the third McDonalds.

My lord, I insist, even though I have done these things described, it was not of my own initiative. I was still under control of one of the members of Dels thief team. You see, it was all a charade. Even though I tried to help, I had no control over my body. It's all the thiefs fault.. If they weren't messing up everything my lord,  then none of this would have ever happened. Who knows what they were planning to steal. Maybe even some of your technology my lord.
As for the my talking to the thieves thing, that was also a act, for thiefs purposes. I assure your my overlord, if I would have had the power to do so, I would have saved this mission.

The thieves had no connection to me at this time, it must have been Jasper! The only other person who new which McDonald's your most esteemed Lordship would be going!

OOC: Soren said they were "Del's thief team"

After all of that, we stopped at a third McDonalds, a fact which these servants have been trying to avoid. You see, my sickness had gotten much worse, and they decided to leave me in the car. They went into the McDonald's and two minutes later there was an explosion, and a ton of screeching! The two clowns came sprinting out of the McDonald's with a herd of angry green antelope hot on their tails! I'm not sure exactly what they did to upset them, but I noticed Soren was holding your order on a tray in one hand, and a green antelope steak on a platter in his other hand. While he was running, Delthion tried to take a bite out of the steak and accidentally bit Soren instead! He yelled and dropped all the food, and jumped up and down with pain! Delthion left him for the antelope, grabbed the steak, and jumped in the car! I was too sick to stop him, and he drove off without Soren!

After a minute or two of driving, while Delthion told me he had to leave Soren behind, I noticed Soren riding behind us on one of the green antelopes! Delthion started throwing stuff at him to try to stop him, I don't know what had gotten into him!

OOC: That was only because I had associated with them in the past.

Yes, Milord, but while we were at the third McDonald's the manager was a spy enthusiast, so he had intercepted a text from Soren to the clowns, it read, "It is time to overthrow James Gryphon from his position as Overlord! I will make myself Overlord and you will be my associates!" After that the team that had gone into the McDonald's and fired on us for no apparent reason had followed us to this next one and blew it up AGAIN! Then the clowns got there and teleported them somewhere, they had technology that was only second to your supreme excellency. When Soren brought the steak the lab-man fired "Extreme hunger, and Insanity" at me, making me eat the steak. Anyway, they arrived there and took Soren with them and provided him with a means of transportation, when they gave it to him they screamed "You go kill James Gryphon! You make him suffer!" The car we were driving had been excellently sound-proofed so Jasper couldn't hear it. I then leaped in the car and rushed to warn your imperial Lordship. He was following us and the antelope showed no sign of slowing, I then asked Jasper to take the wheel and I began throwing things at Soren.

Your greatness, it is true I sent those text messages. But it's not what it may appear to be. These particular clones speak a very interesting dialect of English. They replace some nouns and pronouns with others. What they understand as Soren is known to them as George Cloney, what they know as Delthion is James Gryohon. Also, "Overlord" is translated "servent" in our common English. Just to clear things up my lord, I would never do anything to harm you or even conceive to do so. I have never done anything that is contradicting to your power and authority.
Delthion, on the other hand, would like nothing better then to rule absolutely as you do my overlord. I have evidence of this. The clowns and I overheard Del talking to his spy in the McDonalds. He said, in plain English, which translates into exactly what it sounds like: "I will frame one of the team members and try to overthrow James Gryphon. It will be hard, but with the spy brigade at my side, we can stage a revolt and I'll become the new Overlord. Then I'll give you a handsome reward."
At this, I realized that I must protect you and the mission. I grabbed your order and a here of green antelope attacked. They tried to eat your food, but luckily, I'm a trained animal whisperer. I was able to convince the antelope that Del was the real villain. Because he is. The antelope are a feorcous species, but very loyal. They gave me a steak as a symbol of they're loyalty. Did I mention they're a peculiar society? We ran out into the main parking lot right after a explosion that I had no knowledge of ripped apart the McDonalds. Del was already running for the car, and  I chased after him. I almost caught him when whatever weapon that effected him caused him to try to bite my steak. The antelope didn't like that. They ran after Del with ferocity. I was give. A ride by one of the antelope and we chased after Del. He was throwing things at me. After we were able to catch up with the , I grabbed Del and tied him up. We held him until the end of the mission. I assured you my overlord, I had no intention of harming you. Del was acting evily and was trying to overthrow you.

OOC: Man, you're not nice. ;D

Yes most gracious and esteemed Overlord, I did say those things, but that was only because the lab-man had fired at me with a "Brain Overload and Hypnotism" I was under complete control of the Lab-man at that time and he said in completely plain English that translates into exactly what it is and he was stuck in the car (which happened to be a Bentley and therefore as thick as solid rock and impenetrable by the lab-man or the lab-man's weapons). "Jasper and I have a very good plan, I plan to help him contaminate James Gryphon's base and poison the Overlord, then Jasper will become Overlord and I will reign as his Viceroy! Together we will rule the cosmos and the measly stump of a creature that has the name of James Gryphon will be the lowest of our slaves, but these are not my words, no no, no. These are the words of the perfect being; Jasper." I overheard this as I was in the car and it was playing loudly over a loudspeaker attached to the inside of the Bentley, somehow the lab-man was rather stupid and said it over a walkie-talkie that connected to the loudspeaker.

Oh great Overlord, The pickle covered lab man did say these things, but it was merely because he was trying to reason with me. You see, he got trapped in the car when we passed him on the road and Delthion decided we needed to pick him up as some sort of revenge on his rampant attack on us at the McDonald's. Since I was so sick, I was assigned to guard him, and he made all sorts of ridiculous things up to try to get me to let him go. One of the most ridiculous things he said was the one Delthion mentioned to you. I wasn't plotting any of that - he was offering power to make me let him go. Naturally, I told him to shut up and sit still.

You are probably wondering where the pickle covered rascal is now. Believe it or not, a full scale alien abduction took place. A UFO flew above the car, beamed the roof of the car off, and several small green creatures invulnerable to bullets and resembling broccoli flew down and took the lab man. I shot them several times each, but they just ignored me.

I was abducted as well, and remained in the UFO for the rest of this mission until I could tell them that I was working for the esteemed, gracious, amazingly awesome Overlord, after this they trembled in fear and let me go. I had heard that they had been bribed by Soren to pick us up, they also said that he was trying to buy all of the McDonald's franchise, and eat all of your food. I swear Milord that I was involved in none of this after or prior to the alien abduction, I was beamed up and saw the Bentley swerve into the opposite lane, then Jasper seemed to take control of the wheel and maneuvered the car into the right lane. This Milord concludes all knowledge of the mission. I am deeply sorry that was unable to serve you to the fullest of my potential. I beg your forgiveness most kind and gracious Overlord.

Your graciousness, the aliens thought that they were being bribed by me, but we're infact being deceived. Someone, someone sinister, was impersonating me. They were trying to buy up the McDonalds franchises. I meanwhile, when the aliens abducted Del, I was able to sneak on bord their ship. While I was there, I found a computer console that said that they had just ran a DNA test on Jasper. He was to be released! They said that Jasper was I. Command of the ship remotely, and they would receive orders from him. He was to be their captain, and he was to lead them to victory over a great adversary, presumably you my gracious lord. I thought this inconceivable. When I tried to locate the cell where Del was being held, I must have tripped a security alarm. This sent the ship into tactical alert. I was soon apprehended by two guards. I was taken to a cell in the brig. After a few hours, I was able to find a way to bypass the force field using a phase inducer. (Another gift from the green antelope.) When I got out, I was going to free Del, but he was already gone! I thought him dead. So a was able to find an escape pod and jetison myself into southern Arizona. From there my lord, I was able to hitchhike my way to the rendezvous site. All the McDonalds had already closed down. I could get a replacement meal for you my lord. I'm am truly sorry. But if it wasn't for Jasper, then none of this would have happened. I'm afraid that's all I know. I wasn't involved with the aliens, or the lab man. Not was I involved with any other antics that those two cooked up. I followed my orders to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, sometimes the best help is no help. 

The Overlord sounded more than a little perplexed. "James... Gryphon? I've never heard of such a name. There was another fellow by the name of Tagg that I once appointed Overlord, though, so good work for recognizing that, I guess. It's too bad that's the only thing that any of you were able to get right."

"You were all useless. With tens of thousands of franchises across the world I should think you would have been able to find at least one that was capable of getting me what I ordered. These side diversions were simply totally unnecessary. That said, you all seem to have been born with a black cloud hanging over your heads; it seems that disaster follows you everywhere you go. Maybe I'm just destined to suffer from having poor help."

"Soren: The "mandatory health vaccine" I provided you should have rendered you invulnerable to mind control. Personality changes and cravings are one thing, but foreign devices cannot completely control anyone who has taken the proper precautions, which I gave you. It seems that you neglected this requirement. Even discounting that, though, you claimed that you have "never done anything contradicting my authority". Well, I told you before that you, along with the rest of your ilk, have failed me, and did not carry out my orders. By insisting on your innocence, you're calling me a liar."

"I had planned to run the food you brought me through the replicator, and I could have good sweet tea, decent fries, and passable burgers, from now on. That didn't happen, so instead I'll give you a taste of your own ineptitude."

Melted ice cream, meat and bread paste sprinkled with ketchup, and streams of salt began to fall from the top of the glass capsule. Within just a few seconds it had filled up all the way to Soren's head -- the unfortunate servant was forced to gag down the unappetizing mixture to keep from drowning. As more fell, he was forced to eat more; the other servants could see him quite visibly start to turn green.

Eventually the Overlord got tired of this. There was a flash of light, and suddenly everything in Soren's chamber was still.

"He's back in stasis, where he'll remain for the foreseeable future. As you might remember, stasis preserves your current state for as long as it is activated -- that was why I made sure that all of you were resting comfortably before our trip here. The sensations and sickness he feels now, he will continue to feel until I bring him back out... if I bring him back out, that is. Also, since his brain was active when he got put in, he'll be awake to enjoy every moment of his situation."

"You're dismissed, for the time being. I'll summon you when I want you."

---

About a week later...

The servants were, without warning, teleported back into their capsules. A man with his face covered by a balaclava, along with another man wearing a masquerade mask, three albino gorillas, and no less than a dozen death-defying beavers garbed in 18th-century dress uniforms, were leaving the room. The two men were carrying out the large glass bottle between them, and each of the gorillas had a former servant -- Sam, LT Sandpaw, and Soren -- slung over their shoulders. A man wearing a black cloak and hood stood near the desk, and when the strange procession had exited, pressed a hidden button. The door closed, leaving the man and the final two servants alone.

"Just some last minute house-cleaning that needed to be done. That's all you need to know, and that's all I'm going to say on the subject."

The Overlord paused to push another button, bringing a hidden throne out of the floor. He sat down, sighed, and laid back in the great chair, a footrest popping up at his command.

"I've been thinking for a while about what to do with you two. A long time ago, when I had run low on servants, I decided to appoint the last one Overlord in my place. Well, I can tell you, neither one of you deserve that honor. In fact, I don't see that there's much that separates you from the last minion I dispatched. In any case, I don't plan on going anywhere that would require a replacement."

"Even so, though, I'm in a good mood today. The last of the plans that I set into motion years ago has been completed, and for the meantime I have nothing on my schedule -- the first time, I can tell you, that's happened in many, many years. So, take a look at this."

The Overlord pulled out a remote control from his chair, and pushed something. A viewscreen on the ceiling came on, showing a massive starfield -- "the galaxy", the Overlord commented. The Overlord rotated a knob on his control, and the image on the screen changed, several times. Some were galaxies very similar to the one that had just appeared. Other galaxies were noticeably different. One image showed simply a blue sky, with nothing else evident. Another showed only a single star. The Overlord finally stopped at one that looked identical to the image he had shown at the beginning, and zoomed in to focus on one little blue planet.

"I told you at the beginning of all of this that we had gone back in time. While that was close enough to being true to suit my purposes, it is not close to accurate in the technical sense of things. This is not time travel, but something entirely different. Time travel, as we know it, is impossible. What I had actually done, which I discovered to my chagrin -- for at first I thought it was possible to undo the mistakes of the past -- is, quite simply, to journey to another parallel world. One that happened to be almost identical to the one I had left in my relative youth."

"As I began to think about what this meant, I felt it would be worth sending some servants out on a fact-finding tour, to events that I remembered happening in my and in some of my successors' pasts. That was what you people were supposed to do, and in the process of so doing, you caused most of the events that I remembered happening -- or ones that were, at least, very similar to them."

"This has some interesting implications -- it suggests that all the oddities I recall from my world were originated by some parallel-world double of myself, attempting to carry out the same task. The concept of parallel-world doubles was something I wanted to look into, and after a short time, I was able to find a way of looking for them -- through dimensions, as it were."

"Everyone has a parallel-world double, one for every world. The "Overlord Tagg" you spoke of happened to be a double of the one that was recently shrunk and placed in a glass bottle. I was shuffling through dimensions and happened to find a double of myself who had been reduced to a brain in a jar. The concept of what a double is can be very fluid -- in some strange realities, your doubles are talking animals! -- but there is some essential "essence" that connects all the doubles together, across all of the worlds."

"Now, I am granting each of you the opportunity to ask me three questions. You may ask them one at a time, and get my answer between each one, or you may ask all of them at once. Speak carefully, for the subject and quality of your questions does matter."

Jasper contemplated this curiously. He had never heard of anything like this, and very surprised indeed.

What exactly is the essence that connects the doubles that you speak of?

How Milord, can we use this to serve you more proficiently?

What happens to us in these other realities, are we allowed to serve you still?

Are we able to serve you well in these alternate realities?

The Overlord pondered for a second, then responded. "Regarding the essence, I'm not completely sure, but this is what I'm willing to speculate about it so far. Imagine, if you will, a spider web. Not all of the strands are identical, and some are closer to certain strands than others, but they have a similar character and are all part of the same structure. Each of the parallel doubles' lives seem to be strongly influenced by this essence, to the point of strong correlations in their genetic and environmental backgrounds. Their personalities are also usually similar, though not always identical. On the cosmic level, these "essence webs" all seem to hang from a certain otherworldly "curtain". I have been unable to gain any insight into the nature of this curtain, hence the name -- it covers up the window to the knowledge of the origins of our universe and these parallel worlds. That said, I intend to spend several more years studying it, and hopefully someday I'll know more about it."

"As far as how you can use this to improve your service, frankly, you can't. I'm retiring from active Overlording, and the positions I'm going to hold in my new lifestyle will require no servants that haven't already been arranged for me. You would be somewhat superfluous. Besides, with your track record, I'm not sure I would want to have you along even if there were job openings. Yes, I suppose a good part of your disastrous performance might have been simply fated to turn out that way, but between the odds of that and the odds of your simply being maliciously incompetent, you can understand that I'd rather not take a chance."

"As far as other realities, all I can say is that it simply depends. Some of them are very different; others are very similar to the world you know. The number of parallel worlds seem to be potentially infinite, so I could probably pick out one or another where I was going to continue Overlording and where you weren't the blunderers you've proven to be, but it might take a while. As I mentioned, there are very strong similarities between many of these worlds, so, in most worlds where my double served as an Overlord and had you as servants, I suspect that they ultimately wouldn't have fared much better than you did. The circumstances of their difficulties might have been somewhat different, of course."

How can you tell which dimension we are currently in? Because if what you say is true, I have no way of knowing if I'm talking to the same version of you that I've known from all my time as a servant, or another version of you. I can't even tell if the return trip brought me back to the right dimension, and not just a very similar one.

"As it turns out, each world has its own distinct "signature", which my equipment can detect. That goes for you as well; the way that the world's signature refracts on your strand on your essence web tells me what I need to know. There haven't been any changes on your readings during this series of assignments. Trust me, if I had the choice of bringing a different version of you back here, I would have done so, but unfortunately I've been stuck with the lot of you."

The Overlord checked something on his wrist. "I'm running low on time, so ask your next question quickly. I'd like to finish our business here as soon as possible; there's a Chess tournament I need to be getting to."

Of course. My final question:
If this is all a massive spider web, who is the spider?

"There would seem to be many spiders, each with their own webs, and presumably each with their own distinct characteristics. Unfortunately, that's all I know. I'm sure the answer must lie behind the curtain, though, and I mean to try to look there. Who knows -- maybe the strands of the webs are really strings, being pulled by cosmic puppeteers."

The Overlord sat up a little in his chair. "Q&A time is over. I brought you here to determine your fates. One of you will be given a boon, the other will be sent to join your fellow servants in undergoing the uses my friends and successors, the two men you saw earlier, have decided upon. I have pondered this, and have sought the aid of a highly scientific device to assist me in making this decision, and this is my judgment."

There was a flash of white light, and Delthion was teleported to the planet surface below. The Overlord continued as though nothing had happened.

"Jasper: your questions demonstrate a scientific curiosity that reminds me of myself. This appreciation of my discoveries and genius has granted you a one-way trip to one of these alternate worlds. A controller will be given you in your glass capsule. Take a look at the view screen, pick a world you'd like to live in and the place you'd like to be transported to, and you'll be headed there."

"As for me, I must be going. I don't expect we'll ever meet in person again, but I might check up on your progress from a distance. Who knows, maybe you'll meet my double in the world you visit. All the worlds are very small, after all."

The Overlord got up from his chair with a groan, then slowly made his way out of the room. Jasper was left in his capsule, alone, with his ticket to the future sitting a few inches away from his hands. What he did next -- well, that's another story.

---

Well, that wraps it up for OOXI, the "throwback" round. Things didn't go as well in many ways as I had hoped, and this showed a few weaknesses in the ruleset that we're definitely going to have to discuss before the next round, but I thought we were still able to tell an interesting story. For the last decision, I counted up my opinion of each player's questions, then used that to "weigh" a random number generator -- one player had a better chance of becoming Overlord, but the other still might have gotten it. Anyway, stay tuned for more information from the new Overlord.

OOC: Good job Jasper! Looking forward to your round!

Interesting finale indeed!  ;D Incredibly in-depth and creative!

I must admit I had no idea where that last little bit was going to go, but I'm happy the good guys won  :P

Anyway, well done to James on running this round, and apologies for missing the point of this one almost completely at the start.  :D And well done to all the players participating - I honestly thought I was done for in a few of those tight situations.

On a side note: does this mean I've become Overlord? This is a very difficult round to follow up, but I can give it my best shot, of course.

I'm sorta sad my death was so gruesome.
But good game. ;)