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Flib tries to write

Started by Flib Bigboat, June 05, 2021, 08:26:08 PM

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Flib Bigboat

This is a oneshot I wrote a couple days ago, it's not very good but I hope you enjoy it.
Spoiler
As evening fell over the endless western sea, a lone ship was outlined by the setting sun.
The Wave Brethren were headed for Sampetra.

Captain Fishclaw frowned at the dark clouds that were moving toward the Sea Raider. A storm was never good news. "Looks like we're 'eadin' for a bad storm!" he called. "All paws on deck! Tie down th' sail! Git everybeast on deck! Look lively now!"
"Aye aye, Cap'n!" Ublaz answered. He was first mate aboard the ship, Sea Raider. He called to the rest of the crew, "Bad weather ahead, Cap'n says all paws on board!"
Immediately, the corsairs ran to the main deck to help ready the ship for the oncoming storm. Fishclaw shouted orders at them, mixed with irate criticism. According to him, nobeast could do anything right.
"Blackfang! Pull the left rope! No, not that one, I said left rope! Left, you idjit! Don't you know which one it is? The other rope! Now pull! No, pull harder than that!"
"Ahoy, Rasconza! Git outta the way, yer worthless sea scum! I told yer to tie down them casks, not stan' around underpaw and git in the way of the mast when they're takin' it down! Ain't ya got no good common sense in that thick 'ead o' yers?"
"Conva! Take two others wid ya and' go check the hold! Make sure none o' them jelly-brained idjits fergot t'tie down anythin'! An' retie anythin' that looks liable to git loose! Well, go on, don't jes' stand there lookin' like a daft duck sittin' on th' edge of a cliff, 'op to it! What's the matter wid yer?"
"Hoi, you there! Yes, you! What's yer name?"
"Romsca, Cap'n!"
"Romsca, eh? See if'n you c'n 'elp take down that sail better'n that bumblin' fool of a stoat. Hey, Blackfang! Stop messin' aroun' wid that sail an' git down t'the hold wid Conva an' Barranca, sharp-like! Romsca, yer lashin' that end wrong, ya stupid ferret! Didn't any of yer ever learn 'ow to take down a sail properly? What's yer problem, Blackfang, I told yer to go down to the hold, git movin' already or I'll toss yer worthless 'ide into the water!"
"B-but Cap'n... i-it's dark down there!"
"Oh, it's dark down there, is it?" Fishclaw bellowed impatiently at the hapless weasel, losing the rest of his temper in a rush. "What d'you think you are, a corsair or a Dibbun? Git down there or I'll—"
Captain Fishclaw's voice was drowned out by a large clap of thunder, followed almost simultaneously by a crashing sound and a scream coming from the hold.
The hatch flew open, and Conva and Barranca came pounding up to the main deck at top speed. "Cap'n Fishclaw! One of the crates down there musta got loose, it went slidin' down the floor an' we didn't see it until it was too late an' it hit Blackfang! Cap'n, 'e's dead as a doornail. We'd given 'im the lantern, an' it went out when the crate slammed 'im into the wall, so we were in the dark. An' we couldn't stop it, an' it kep' on goin' an' crashed into the far wall, an' the water started comin' in! The ship's goin' t'sink, Cap'n!"
Even as the stoat was speaking, two or three oarslaves down below began shouting in panic as the water began to rise, slowly but surely. Suddenly, lightning split the sky, hitting the prow of the Sea Raider. Flames began licking the wood, spreading across the deck.
"Abandon ship!" Fishclaw bellowed.
The crew obeyed his order gratefully. Those lucky enough to find pieces of wood drifting around in the water from the collision in the hold didn't think twice about sharing them...
Except Ublaz.
In the water, Captain Fishclaw found a large spar of wood. Then he felt a hard tug on the other end of it. Ublaz had grabbed it as well. The marten scowled warningly.
"Let go, Fishclaw!"
Fishclaw raised his eyebrows. "I had it first. And I'm the Captain. Why don't you find yer own piece of wood?"
Ublaz shook his head. "There's no more left. Let go. Let go now!"
He locked eyes with the ill-fated Captain. Fishclaw glared back. He suddenly realized his mistake, but it was too late. He couldn't look away, however hard he tried—the hypnotic stare was taking over. Slowly, against his will, his paws let go of the spar of wood.
The last thing he knew was the faint, faraway realization that he was drowning, before the waves closed over him forever.

The storm raged on for two days until finally the sea became calm again. Eventually, most of the crew had gotten washed up on the shore, some dead, some still alive but tired out by their fight with the waves.
Ublaz broke the news to them: their Captain was dead and he was their new leader.
Most of the battered corsairs didn't care who was Captain now, as long as they had a leader. But one rat, Cutthroat, had a different opinion. He had thought Ublaz was too bossy, when the pine marten was first mate aboard the Sea Raider, and he thought it wasn't fair that Ublaz was the Captain now.
Cutthroat muttered to his friend Weltskin, "It ain't right, I tell yer, 'e's getting' all the luck an' then 'e pushes us around an' brags about it. Why, I'd stake me own 'ead on it, Ublaz prob'ly murdered Fishclaw when the Sea Raider sunk, so 'e could git the position. Aye, it's just the sorta thing 'e would—Ouch! What was that for?"
Romsca violently jabbed the mutinous rat in the ribs with her cutlass. "Sharrap talkin' like that, muckears. Didn't ya 'ear Ublaz when 'e said 'e was the new Cap'n, eh? That means we gotta keep any complaints we 'ave to ourselves an' not talk about it, or we're dead. D'ya wanna git us all killed?"
Cutthroat rubbed his bleeding ribs indignantly and gave the younger ferret a dirty look, but he had the good sense to stop grumbling. Romsca had been with the Wave Brethren longer than he had, and she knew more about the crew than he did.
Ublaz was a dangerous enemy.
To disobey him meant certain death.
[close]
Life is often like pushing a luggage cart through the airport. Sometimes I feel ridiculous, sometimes I look ridiculous, but I just keep pushing that luggage cart, and hoping I'm generally heading in the right direction.
Always keep your word, always finish what you started, and never go unprepared.
In a hole in the ground, there once lived a hobbit.
It's your birthday today, everybeast say hooray, there's a cat licking your birthday cake, it's your birthday today!
Long live the RRR!

Ripred the Gnawer

*sniff* bruh when did you write this? Not to be mean or anything, but fr it's kinda cringe
'We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they are inside of us'
"If you gaze long enough into the abyss, it'll gaze back at you"

Brother Saul

I thought it was pretty good. It technically contradicts the original lore, but I like this version slightly better. Good job

Flib Bigboat

Quote from: Ripred the Gnawer on November 03, 2023, 11:03:32 AM*sniff* bruh when did you write this? Not to be mean or anything, but fr it's kinda cringe
I know, I know. That is why the thread is titled thusly. I also wrote a collection of horror stories during Halloween, and they turned out even worse, so luckily I had the good sense not to post those.
Life is often like pushing a luggage cart through the airport. Sometimes I feel ridiculous, sometimes I look ridiculous, but I just keep pushing that luggage cart, and hoping I'm generally heading in the right direction.
Always keep your word, always finish what you started, and never go unprepared.
In a hole in the ground, there once lived a hobbit.
It's your birthday today, everybeast say hooray, there's a cat licking your birthday cake, it's your birthday today!
Long live the RRR!

Ripred the Gnawer

Oh wait this was from the book

That makes so much more sense
'We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they are inside of us'
"If you gaze long enough into the abyss, it'll gaze back at you"