The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Forum (DON'T PANIC)

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

"And while on the subject of towels," ze guide zayz, "A towel," it goez on tae zay, "is about the most massively useful thing an interthreader hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Cavern Hole; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of the Front Lawns, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of the Fan Works; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river of the Forum Games; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Suggestions And Concerns (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit, Redwall book etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally "lost.". What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Forum, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

[Vilu Daskar]

Only join me and not FMC army

[Tam and Martin]

Only join me and not FMC army

NEVAH!

[Jukka the Sling]

Make sure to join the FMC!

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Ze guide 'az a zin' or tvo tae zay aboot ze Ferret-Meat Candy Army. "If you are unlucky," it zayz, "tae become entangled into a mess that involves the Ferret-Meat Candy Army, leave immediately. Never mind the service fee for travel, just get out of there. You can travel back in time and pay it later."

"The army," it goez on tae zay, "is a very dreadful and dull lot, and you do not want to be anywhere near them if someone opens a can of Pepsi. Therefore, always remember to come prepared with an onion, a clove of garlic, and an umbrella to deter possible meetings. Now the Death Defying Beavers, on the other paw, are quite nice and might lend you one of their flying bulldozers if ye ask politely."

Many in ze forum are o' ze opinion zat ze Guide 'az been taken over by ze Death Defyin' Beaverz, an' uzually juzt pretend zat nozin' iz vron'. O' courze, ziz iz yer uzual vay zat ze Forum be'avez, zae ziz iz really nozin' nev.

[Søren]

Make sure to revive old threads!
Make sure to vote in the SFC!
Make sure to wallow in despair if your voted for in the SFC!

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Try not to get squashed by Kingmaker!

[Søren]

Remember: It's never Faiy or Skarzs fault if you value your lives.