Overlord's Orders Special Round II

[Rosie Willowwater]

"I admit it! I am a crazy maniac and none of you can stop me! I shall rule the world above all of you! I shall forever look down upon you and your puny Overlord!"

* Rosie Willowwater cackles maniacally and tries running away but forgetting about the glass capsule and collapsing unconcious to the floor.

[LT Sandpaw]

"Well at least she's honest about it..."

[Søren]

Sir, I'd like to explain my part in all of this. I tried to give laser tag a shot, I honestly did. But my laser kept going out. That's why I gave my gun to Rosie, who seemed to be retrofitting her own. I didn't realize she would up the power in it, nor did I realize they had a replacement stand. Anyway, when she was done I was so thankful I asked how could I repay her. She asked me to help her heat up a Lean Cuisine. I thought it was an odd time to be eating, but who was I to argue? So we're trying to warm it up, then Fatch came and explained how that wasn't a good idea. Rosie was having none of it. She went berserk and smacked me over the head with a flashlight she had earlier. I was out for a couple of seconds. By the time I came too, the building was on fire, and we had to escape with our lives.

[James Gryphon]

"After due consideration, I have determined that the servant with the least future potential in this organization is Delthion. I don't have much time, so let's make this quick. Observe his fate."

The glass cylinder begins to rotate, as a beam begins to shoot down from the ceiling at the servant. Del yelps as it lightly zaps his skin. This continues for some time. Finally, the speaker projecting his voice to the rest of the capsules goes off.

"I'm testing the principle of making computer drives on nontraditional material. This beam, using a process I can't be bothered to explain to you, 'burns' the data on their skin and clothes. Hopefully I'll be able to read that information later. I could have used any object, but given the theme of your last mission, I thought this was appropriate."

"After some consideration, I've decided to take advantage of the one talent you have manifested. There's an old, abandoned base of mine, in the middle of a network of underground caves. I have no further use for the base, and I have reason to believe that its continued existence there might cause me trouble in the future. So, I'm sending you there to destroy it."

"Conveniently, there are plenty of weapons and power tools left there. I don't need any of them; in fact, I would rather see them destroyed as well. So, do what you do best, and destroy absolutely everything that's left of my base and possessions there. Just don't do too much damage to the nearby caves. I'd rather nobody know that anyone was ever there."



"What am I to make of this? The allotted time has passed, and no damage whatsoever seems to have been done to the base or my tools. That would be forgivable, if it wasn't for all the ads I've found online and in the news: "Top Secret Hidden Underground Base for sale! Used to belong to an Overlord. Convenient location in Amazonian cave system. Comes with weapons, power tools, and servants included. Call 555-168-1129, or contact us in person at our other base under the Arctic Ocean, for further details."

"My base's cover here is blown. Now we're going have to relocate to another one very shortly. I've no time for games. Tell me who's responsible so that they can meet the same fate this base is going to. If your answers don't satisfy me, then I'll just leave all of you here when it gets taken care of."

[Groddil]

Groddil is once again the first to speak.
"Oh mighty overlord, allow me to explain. Myself and your other servants journeyed to the Amazon on your Antonov 226. We had loaded a shipping crate with materials and dropped it into the Delta, then parachuted out. When we landed, Sandpaw and I started unloading the shipping crate while Rosie and Fatch pried open the secret cave entrance. Among the things we took with us were a Neutrino Bomb, a Disintigrator, and Delthion. Once the entrance was opened, Daskar approached the door and tapped in the passcode. I was suspicious, as I did not think Daskar was trustworthy enough for you to honor him with the password, so I asked him how he knew. He said that he had purchased a Data Disc containing information about your second base from eBay, in order to destroy it, but investigated what was on it first. Once we were inside, I planted the Neutrino Bomb in the base's Atomic Reactor, and set it so that the nearby caves would not be damaged. Sandpaw plugged Delthion into the bomb using an extension cord, and we were about to transfer the activation codes, when Rosie zapped him with the Disintigrator, destroying him before we could activate the bomb. She then zapped my leg, as you can see from this prosthesis, and Fatch knocked Sandpaw unconscious. They pulled out the Data Disc that Daskar had supposedly destroyed, and used it to change the Neutrino Bomb to a transmitter, which began sending signals to major news outlets and online shopping sites. Thankfully, Soren came up behind Rosie and managed to steal the Disintigrator, forcing her and Fatch to surrender. I managed to pull out my phone and ring the number you just mentioned, after it had been broadcasted through the Neutrino-Radio-Thing, which caused Daskar's cellphone to ring. That is all I can say, your powerfullness, as after having my leg destroyed, I had to call in an Evac."

[Søren]

Sir, what Groddil says is true. We parachuted to the amazon base location. Myself and Daskar didn't have much to do seeing how everyone went about their initial tasks. So I walked over to see if I could give Rosie and Fatch a chance. They weren't speaking, but she eventually mentioned something to him. Her words were "So, I've been thinking, if we leak this to the press, people will be all over this place. And when people gather, you know what they do? They eat. Dippin' Dots bro. We should sell Dippin' Dots. We'd make a killing." Fatch replied "Good idea. We could lace the Dippin' Dots with laxatives. And when they're done eating, we could set up a couple of port-a-johns, sell a trio for $50 a pop." "Sweet." Rosie replied.

I was stunned by his development, and quickly rushed to tell someone. I caught up with Groddil, and informed him of Rosie and Fatch's vile, and rather materialistic plan. He said we should try to accomplish the mission and blow he base before they could send out word. I'd attack Rosie or Fatch as a last resort option.
Of course, you know that we had to use plan B to get out of there, and even then your would-be servants Rosie and Fatch ruined the perfectly good chance we had of completing a mission!

[Fatch of Southsward]

Oh great Overlord, there is much more to this tale than these two miserable servants understand. If they only knew what I had done to help the mission, they would never level these accusations.

You see, as I secretly feared all along, our mission team had been infiltrated. The AOO (Anti - Overlord - Organization) has been onto us for quite sometime and one of these servants has gone over to their side.

It all started just after the first mission. We stopped at the local Buffalo Wild Wings joint on the way to the old base. We had been serving you with such dedication many of us had not gotten the chance to eat yet. Daskar and Rosie exited out of one of the back doors to get some fresh air (Rosie looked like she was sick.) We didn't see either of them for some time, but eventually they returned. Rosie did not look sick anymore, so I didn't say anything to the others.

Now, as you know, the AOO often uses a clever disguise to fool servants of the Overlords. When they want to impersonate someone, they often use pancake batter cooked into a face mold to create an exact image of their target's face. It seems Rosie had been kidnapped, and an enemy agent had managed to take her identity, wearing a false face made out of pancake batter.

I had my suspicions that Rosie might be a pancake (pancake here simply referring to someone who is being impersonated by this method) and I thought Daskar might have had something to do with it as well. So, when Daskar made sure no one was questioning Rosie and went outside again, I followed him secretly. I saw him being paid loads of cash by a man driving a truck with giant letters "AOO" on the side. No doubt he was paid to betray us. I was about to head back inside to warn the others when the car I was hiding behind drove off, leaving me out in the open. I was tranquilized and while I was half out of consciousness, I witnessed another man making a mask and taking my identity. I was tied up, thrown in the back of the truck with Rosie and we were driven to the city dump, where they... well... dumped us.

We managed to escape after a few minutes, and Rosie checked her phone. Sure enough, to our horror, our enemies had successfully infiltrated the team, and were making a mess of things. Seeing no other options, we hijacked a garbage truck and high tailed it over to the base. By that time, there were news crews and civilians everywhere. I couldn't destroy the base without killing lots of innocent people. It would have done no good other than to bring even more attention to our already fragile operations.

Sorry about what happened, great Overlord.

[LT Sandpaw]

Waving his hand for the Overlord's attention Sandpaw began his own explanation of the events.
"Sir I can confirm Fatch's account of what went down. I was unaware of Daskar's plot to use the AOO to inform the public of your bases, though it makes sense now. I was in the base's workshop at the time trying to figure out how to put Delthion back together, but then I received an email on my OOphone that Fatch had sent me, he thought I was one of the few team members he could still trust. After I was informed about what was going on I rushed down the stairs only to find Soren holding the fake Rosie and Fatch at disintegrator, and Groddil lying on the floor wounded. They had already dealt with the fakers, so I assumed they already knew what was going on.

"I of course helped Groddil into the medical Evac telling him to return once he had been treated with a ship. I radioed to check on Soren there was only static on the other end. I quickly rushed to find Soren and discovered the real Daskar standing over him with the two fake servants, and Daskar had a metal pipe in his hand, presumably what he had knocked out Soren with. I dueled all three of them for ten minutes just as civilians were beginning to arrive. Just in time Fatch and Rosie showed up and we managed to drive the two fake servants off, and capture Daskar. As you can see sir, we only barely made it out before the civilians saw us, we had to drag Soren with us, as he was still a little delirious after Daskar had hit him.

"We radioed for Groddil to come and pick us up, but he said he was too important, and mysterious to be spotted by the civilians who were now crowding into the base, and to hurt to bother. Groddil left us high and dry, and we were forced to commandeer a submarine to make it back here. That's all I have too report sir."

[Groddil]

"Sir, allow me to retort Sandpaw. When we radioed in for a Medi-VAC, I was expecting a plane or something else along the lines. Instead, Fatch, who actually called it in, had them send a 1 person LEO Shuttle instead. As I was the only one with any severe injuries, I was the one to actually board it. Furthermore, as Soren has told me, they scuttled the sub without transferring its computer systems data to an external drive to return to you. Said data, apparently, was the result of the sub's crew attempting to create a robotic device capable of finding you, seeking you out, and transporting you to another dimension consisting only of black holes and disease-carrying mozzies. If I were there, which, thanks to Rosie, I wasn't, I would have copied it onto Delthion. Except Rosie destroyed him, and all of your sensitive information at the same time."
Groddil shakes his head.
"First her insane behaviour after the laser tag mission, and now this? She's up to something, boss."

[James Gryphon]

Sorry for the disproportionately long delay...



The room fell silent.

After several minutes, the servants began to wonder if the Overlord had left them there to die in the darkness.

Suddenly, the lights came on, revealing a grim-looking man clad in a dark robe and hood, standing in the center of the room operating a control panel. He made some last adjustments, then pulled a lever. All of the glass capsules slid open, letting their occupants loose...except for one.

"Come along and don't dawdle. My subspace collapser is set to activate shortly."

The Overlord, subjects in tow, made their way towards one of the walls. A hatch slid open to reveal a dark tunnel, only marginally illuminated with red emergency lights. The dark figure gestured, and a blast door opened to reveal the interior of what looked like the bridge of a starship. The servants followed him inside, somewhat anxiously, cringing when the door slammed shut behind them. Their master sat down in the large chair in the center of the room, and typed in a sequence on a keyboard. The room began to shake and rumble, and the servants were forced to the floor by the intense pull of gravity. A look outside the window showed that the ship, as that was what it was, had blasted off, leaving the increasingly-distant form of the abandoned underwater base, and Rosie Willowwater inside, behind to their respective fates.

A shadow appeared to fall over the station, then it disappeared completely from sight, leaving only an empty ocean floor behind. The starship, for its part, ascended ever-higher; before long the blue sky was replaced with the undisturbed tranquility of dark space, with only the lines of stars zipping by to serve evidence of the ship's relation to the rest of the universe.

At length, the Overlord turned to his subjects.

"My Arctic station, and that former friend of yours, are frozen in separate subspace fields attached to this ship. The bleakness of her new home suits the answers she had to offer for her inanity."

The figure sighed.

"While your folly didn't help matters, the damage is salvageable. I've recently come across some, shall we say, good fortune, and I'm willing to consider keeping you on with me."

"I have an appointment to keep with a friend. All I ask is that you retrieve for me some cuisine that adequately fits his and my tastes. The teleporter will take you back down to Earth. Fetch two of all the things I'm about to list: a large double-patty burger, with mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, jalapenos, and onions. A large bag of flour tortilla chips. 44 ounces of sweet tea, in a glass mug. A king-sized bar of dark chocolate. And finally, a jar of the best salsa you can find, suitable to go with the chips. If you do this job right, I can forgive you."

A dour expression came over the Overlord's face.

"If not... expect my favorable mood to be fleeting."


Quite some time later...

The servants were abruptly pulled from world to world, and face-to-face with their master. Another man, dressed identically to the Overlord, sat a short distance away in his own chair, observing the goings-on with apparent interest. The Overlord pressed a button, delivering a powerful electric shock that brought each of the servants to their knees, and addressed them with insidious calm.

"Do you care, or even dare to explain to me why all of my food is covering your clothes? That is, all the food that you didn't guzzle yourselves, or "donate" to those garbage men!"

[Groddil]

Groddil winces from the shock, but does not move.
"Your powerfulness, I can explain. As you already know, we were dropped off at different locations on Earth to locate the objects you desired. I was sent to Australia for the chocolate, Soren was sent to Russia to find the tea, and Sandpaw was sent to America for the burger and salsa, and Daskar to a WalMart in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean for the tortilla chips, with the objective to regroup in Britain when we had obtained the items, in order to return to you. I immediately began asking around and conducting research as to the greatest chocolate in the world, and eventually found two types of Swiss Dark Chocolate. I purchased 2 bars each, along with some Cadbury Sweet Biscuits. For some reason, the chocolate they use for those are different to standard milk chocolate. Anyway, I spent a few hours prying apart the biscuits and boiling the chocolate together into one mixture. I added a bit of extra cocoa and shaped it into two bars, which I packed into my subzero bag of holding. It was then that I received a call from Sandpaw. He said that he had located the burger, but that there was no salsa in Mexico anymore. Apparently, a company known as "DaskarCorp" had purchased every salsa production company in existence, ordered a mass recall, and destroyed it. There's no more salsa, boss. I ended up buying some from this real shady bloke in downtown Sydney, but as soon as the money changed hands, he zapped it with a black hole generator and ran off, screaming 'DaskarCorp Rules! Yeah!'"
Groddil clears his throat.
"I made my way to London, where we all regrouped. We confronted Daskar, who said that DaskarCorp was currently being run by 'Bilu Daskar', totally not himself. By this point, I still needed to test my chocolate, so I cut off a tiny sliver from one bar and offered it to a garbo to test. He said that it was, quote 'bloody amazing, cobber!', so Daskar said he could have the rest. I went to pull out my SPAMgun, but Daskar kicked it out of my hand. The garbo and his friend scoffed the chocolate, which was when it started getting serious. That man, your associate. He walked past us, and Daskar said that he was plotting to kill you. Obviously, you know your associates, so Daskar must have been lying. He snatched the burger and threw it at your associate. Thankfully, it did not hit him. By now, all that was left was the tea and tortilla chips. After restraining Daskar, Soren was clearly terrified. He said that we should just pretend none of this had ever happened, so he ate the tortilla chips. I tried to stop him, so he threw the tea at me. Hence my filthy clothing. I suggest that, even if Daskar is not currently in charge of DaskarCorp, that you destroy this company at once. If the Salsa Monopoly is lifted, not only would you be able to obtain it at last, but the world would be grateful."
Groddil falls silent, then speaks up again.
"Oh, and Fatch. He was SUPPOSED to assist me in Australia, but disappeared somewhere in Sydney. I didn't see him again until London, where he had so many Souvenirs I was surprised he could walk. Useless!"

[Fatch of Southsward]

As the great Overlord knows I am always dedicated to serving him. I had heard about the Salsa monopoly while we were in Sydney, and I got in contact with my correspondents. Trusting Groddil's expertise to land us a decent amount of chocolate, I dedicated my time to getting the salsa instead. As I expected, my correspondents had managed to keep some salsa jars safe from DaskarCorp. I purchased them at great cost to my personal revenue. - twelve years of servitude's pay for each jar! Since Salsa had become a heavily desired substance, it was a throwback to my old smuggling days. I once worked for the cartel down in mexico, so I called up Dirty Randy, my former partner.

Together, we purchased souvenirs, and used them to conceal the valuable salsa as we traveled. We succeeded in getting all of the salsa back to London, which is more than can be said for some of these other servants.

Dirty Randy had a soft spot for Soren, and he tried to offer him a small amount of salsa after we had arrived - as a toast to our success. To both of our surprise, Soren, realizing how valuable the salsa was, murdered Dirty Randy with a pitch fork that happened to be leaning against the wall nearby, and gathered up all the salsa. He made a break for it, and got to the pickup truck. In the process some of the other servants began eating the food they had brought and threw it at one another

What followed was a hectic high speed chase. I was trying to chase down Soren to retrieve the salsa, but I couldn't use my vehicle to stop him, since the salsa jars could have broken.

In a daring move, I put my truck on cruise control, jumped into the back, and managed to grab a jar of salsa as we drew level. I had to abandon the truck, and it was destroyed shortly after. I brought my last jar of salsa back to the others. They wasted no time in devouring it, without even using tortilla chips. It's an utter disgrace to consume salsa without tortilla chips, so I was thoroughly disgusted. I don't know what Soren did with the rest of the salsa, but he seems to have a lot more money as of late than he used to. I would guess he sold your priceless salsa for personal profit.

[Groddil]

OOC:

@LT Sandpaw
@Søren
@Lord Daskar

BIC:

"Actually, your powerfulness, I know what happened to the last Salsa jar. I used my own personal funds to buy it off Soren to return to you. By bank balance is at two dollars and five cents now, thanks to him. He took the money, and threw the Salsa jar at me. It shattered, getting Salsa all over me. Before I could gather it, purify it, and return it to you, Daskar jumped at me and licked it all up. Before he did so, he said, quote, 'This isn't fair! Soren and Sandpaw ate all the other salsa! I didn't get any! The Overlord won't get it anyway, so I'm eating it!', end quote. And there you have it, boss. Sandpaw, Soren, and Daskar are all responsible for you not having any salsa! But the one most at fault? Daskar. He's been working against you behind your back since the very beginning. I doubt he could ever try to justify his actions."

OOC:

@Fatch of Southsward: Editted.

[Fatch of Southsward]

OOC: I actually had said that I didn't know what happened to the last jar of salsa in my last post.

In this case I certainly would know what happened to it. It's ok though, I'll let others get involved before I respond again