Redwall: Legions

[orangekid3]

Just a preview of a Redwall story I made some time back.

Please tell me if it's any good.

" Gular stood upon the rock watching his armies march through the valley that separated Northard from the northern hills.
  His brother had escaped... for now.
  The fearsome wildcat smiled evilly, "you can only run so far from one such as me!"
 
  One hundred thirty thousand vermin soldiers marched through the pass, clogging it for many days.

  An eagle watched the solitary figure ford the stream. "A wildcat!" he huffed, "too much work for one meal"

  The Marka were outcasts. Two and a half hundred of the meanest and toughest squirrels in Mossflower wood. Some were outlaws, some were refugees from the fighting in the north who had fled to the forrest with nothing but their lives.
  But they were fighters, every one of them.
  Ever since the black squirrel, Samkin the Wild, had taken over the Marka, he had forced them to fight. Fight or die.
 
The squirrels were outcasts. But they were all that stood between Gular and his legions and Redwall Abbey! "

[Ashleg]

That army is absolutely massive.

[The Skarzs]

Two hundred fifty versus one hundred thirty thousand is. . . pretty far-fetched. The squirrels are outnumbered five hundred to 1.
Maybe try a smaller number, to make it a little more realistic.

[James Gryphon]

An Imperial Roman legion consisted of about 5,000 men full-strength; you could have up to three components for three "legions" of a total of 15,000.

That would probably still be very oversized for Mossflower country, considering that the Blue Hordes were half the size, and themselves quickly demonstrated the logistical problems of maintaining such a large force.

It's also worth noting that besides the obvious trouble with providing food and drink for such a large force (at 15,000, much less the bigger number), it's not clear yet what would motivate most of these troops to march and fight far away from home. It can't very well be for the plunder from the Abbey, since with 15,000 troops to split it from it's obvious even to a dull rat that he's not going to get much of a share of it. Perhaps land grants from Mossflower country and/or back home would suffice, though I suspect the Mossflower shares would go relatively quickly.

The story concept is definitely a start, but there's a lot of technical considerations that need to be made.

[orangekid3]

  Ok, I'll cut down on the armies... But if the northlands were the same size as Mossflower plus Southsward then the army is not super huge... Though yes the logistics are awkward.
  And the armies are chasing the wildcat's brother and probably don't know about Redwall Abbey yet.

[Luftwaffles]

I like your idea, though

[Captain Tammo]

While everyone has their own logistical setups in their head for what Mossflower can and cannot handle, and feedback on fan fictions are always encouraged, I do want to remind everyone that this is a fan fiction and therefore the possibilities are determined by the author. 130,000 vicious vermin is a lot for 250 squirrels. But world history has seen numbers like that on the move before! I know there is a famous story (whether it's real or not isn't the point) in which a Chinese general, backed by 100 troops, had to defend a town against 150,000 soldiers. His solution was to tell his troops to hide. Then he flung open the gates and sat at the top of the gate playing a lute. The enemy general, certain that it was an elaborate trap, ordered a retreat. There's more to winning a battle than just strength. There are also wits to take into account!

Maybe the Marka have some tricks up their sleeves? Maybe they'll get some reinforcements of some sort? Maybe a plague will move through the enemy ranks like wildfire when they enter this new land? It's all too early to say what can and cannot be done!

Anyway, welcome to the forum, @orangekid3 !

[The Skarzs]

Sorry if it came across as cold, Orange. I just know what i enjoy reading in fan fictions and numbers like that tend to turn me off.

Looking forward to what you bring!

[orangekid3]

  Sorry I haven't come up with anything, I was busy for a while in the summer, then with school. Plus I've decided that I like writing fairy tales more than fantasy for some reason.   

  Anyway, I'm going back and replacing this with the original story that this is based off. The army is maybe 10 independent legions, under different commanders, of 5,000 - 7,500 troops. Also there will be many other Mossflower tribes who help. And the Long Patrol will show up near the end.

  And thanks for the plague idea, @Captain Tammo

[The Skarzs]

Ooh, fairy tales!

BTW, be sure to check out the competition if you're planning on writing soon!

[orangekid3]

Competition... what competition? Ok, thanks. I'll look it up.

FAIRY TALES RULE!

[Captain Tammo]

@orangekid3 yeah, we've set up a forum-wide competition! Winner gets a replica of Martin the Warrior's sword. One of the contests on the list is a fan-fiction competition!

You can see how you participate HERE

[orangekid3]

Sweet! I'm in. Once I get the story done!

[orangekid3]

Here's a picture of a Marka squirrel.

Spoiler

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[orangekid3]

Ok... Never mind.

Spoiler

"Bad news, chief" called a shrew in the lead boat as it neared the makeshift dock. Jumping ashore he saluted with his short rapier.
   "What is it this time, Dippler?" growled Log-a-log.
   "Vermin, about a hundred of them. Looked like it was a couple scouting parties converging. We wiped 'em out, but it was tough going" Dippler said. He stood quietly waiting Log-a-log's response.
   "You said scouting parties? No band in Mossflower could have a full hundred in it, much less as scouts!"
   Dippler growled. "They weren't from Mossflower. They were from the northlands. And they were scouting, weather not they were scouts" Dippler unrolled a parchment and handed it to Gevin. "A map of the river, from here to the coast. Depth markings, fords, pike shoals, everything!"
   Log-a-log's brow furled as he looked at the map. "Alright. Send out more patrols up the river and re-trap the marshes. I'm going"
   Dippler frowned. "Where to?"
   Log-a-log looked up at him. "I'm going to Brockhall!"

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