The more random than that other thread thread

[lass of something much]

But I like (I like) chains!

You know, this reminds me of that one time I was walking in a mall (pre-COVID, don't worry). I was on my way to purchase some cheap steel chains for myself (I moonlight as a goth girl in Columbus) when I was accosted by PRAECS (People's Republican Army for Eradication of Cheap Steel), a terror group consisting of vigilantes and ex-Steel Regulatory Commission employees wanted by the FBI for tax fraud. The extremists then demanded that I give up my cheap steel and sign up for a series of propaganda-ridden "steel enthusiast education seminars" hosted in the local public convention center's lobby. When I refused to sign up for this obviously draconian punishment, they proceeded to wrap me in high-grade steel chain before tossing me into the nearest mall pond, after which they swarmed the local Hot Topic with a series of high-power magnets and "confiscated" all cheap steel jewelry (later recovered by an FBI raid at an abandoned farmhouse forty miles outside Columbus). Truly an affront to this great country as well as the Department of Commerce's Section 232 investigation of the steel market in the US, which was, of course, designed to combat steel elitism prevalent in the Midwest.

That is the weirdest shopping story I have ever heard

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Suddenly there was a burst of instrumental music from somewhere, and somebeast in a cape darted past, lobbing cans of something that could or could not be meat at signs bearing the rules for posting on the forum. The creature disappeared into the night, lobbing one more can into a street lamp as they did so. The authorities who investigated the scene could only deduce one thing: the Masked Spammer had struck again!

[Verdauga]

Nice pun.

[Booklover]

Lovely spam, wonderful spam.

[lass of something much]

*Vomits on Kade*

[Kade Rivok]

*Dodges.*

[Flib Bigboat]

*Vomits on Kade*

Wow, rude, much.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

[Hickory]

But I like (I like) chains!

You know, this reminds me of that one time I was walking in a mall (pre-COVID, don't worry). I was on my way to purchase some cheap steel chains for myself (I moonlight as a goth girl in Columbus) when I was accosted by PRAECS (People's Republican Army for Eradication of Cheap Steel), a terror group consisting of vigilantes and ex-Steel Regulatory Commission employees wanted by the FBI for tax fraud. The extremists then demanded that I give up my cheap steel and sign up for a series of propaganda-ridden "steel enthusiast education seminars" hosted in the local public convention center's lobby. When I refused to sign up for this obviously draconian punishment, they proceeded to wrap me in high-grade steel chain before tossing me into the nearest mall pond, after which they swarmed the local Hot Topic with a series of high-power magnets and "confiscated" all cheap steel jewelry (later recovered by an FBI raid at an abandoned farmhouse forty miles outside Columbus). Truly an affront to this great country as well as the Department of Commerce's Section 232 investigation of the steel market in the US, which was, of course, designed to combat steel elitism prevalent in the Midwest.

That is the weirdest shopping story I have ever heard

Don't worry, it wasn't as weird as that one time I visited the park near my house and happened to see a raft of ducks walking by on their way to the pond. Knowing how many retirees in my town liked to feed the ducks various items of gluten-rich food, I (after checking to make sure no-one of this demographic was present) shouted "FATTY! FATSO! GET SOME REAL FOOD LIKE POND WEEDS!" and assorted diet-related insults at the feathery gluttons. Little did I know that prominent members of the PRADD (People's Republican Army for Defense of Ducks), a noted terror group consisting of vigilantes and ex-PETA activists wanted by the ATF for possession of unregistered firearms, were nearby (their clothing had earlier led me to mistake them for a herd of butch lesbians). The PRADD terrorists then descended upon me while several of their group fell into a loose skirmish formation around the ducks. I was pelted with a variety of insults (apparently aimed at my choice of clothing, which was evidently "waterfowlphobic") and then summarily tossed into the nearest pond, after which my assailants proceeded to spoil the smug mallards with bags of Nature's Own 100% Whole Grain wheat bread. Truly an affront to this great nation as well as Michelle Obama's 2010 "Let's Move!" dietary campaign, which was, of course, aimed to combat the rapid spread of waterfowl obesity in America.

[Russa Nodrey]

These last posts have been very interesting.

[Gourmand]

Tries to balance on my head and immediately topples over.

[Booklover]

*does not even bother to attempt to balance on my head because it will fail horribly*

[Kade Rivok]

Tries to balance on my head and immediately topples over.

Skillz

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, there was a galaxy far far away a long time ago. THE END.

[lass of something much]

*Vomits on Kade*

Wow, rude, much.

It's my signature move

But I like (I like) chains!

You know, this reminds me of that one time I was walking in a mall (pre-COVID, don't worry). I was on my way to purchase some cheap steel chains for myself (I moonlight as a goth girl in Columbus) when I was accosted by PRAECS (People's Republican Army for Eradication of Cheap Steel), a terror group consisting of vigilantes and ex-Steel Regulatory Commission employees wanted by the FBI for tax fraud. The extremists then demanded that I give up my cheap steel and sign up for a series of propaganda-ridden "steel enthusiast education seminars" hosted in the local public convention center's lobby. When I refused to sign up for this obviously draconian punishment, they proceeded to wrap me in high-grade steel chain before tossing me into the nearest mall pond, after which they swarmed the local Hot Topic with a series of high-power magnets and "confiscated" all cheap steel jewelry (later recovered by an FBI raid at an abandoned farmhouse forty miles outside Columbus). Truly an affront to this great country as well as the Department of Commerce's Section 232 investigation of the steel market in the US, which was, of course, designed to combat steel elitism prevalent in the Midwest.

That is the weirdest shopping story I have ever heard

Don't worry, it wasn't as weird as that one time I visited the park near my house and happened to see a raft of ducks walking by on their way to the pond. Knowing how many retirees in my town liked to feed the ducks various items of gluten-rich food, I (after checking to make sure no-one of this demographic was present) shouted "FATTY! FATSO! GET SOME REAL FOOD LIKE POND WEEDS!" and assorted diet-related insults at the feathery gluttons. Little did I know that prominent members of the PRADD (People's Republican Army for Defense of Ducks), a noted terror group consisting of vigilantes and ex-PETA activists wanted by the ATF for possession of unregistered firearms, were nearby (their clothing had earlier led me to mistake them for a herd of butch lesbians). The PRADD terrorists then descended upon me while several of their group fell into a loose skirmish formation around the ducks. I was pelted with a variety of insults (apparently aimed at my choice of clothing, which was evidently "waterfowlphobic") and then summarily tossed into the nearest pond, after which my assailants proceeded to spoil the smug mallards with bags of Nature's Own 100% Whole Grain wheat bread. Truly an affront to this great nation as well as Michelle Obama's 2010 "Let's Move!" dietary campaign, which was, of course, aimed to combat the rapid spread of waterfowl obesity in America.

o.0


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What on earth...