Black and White: Things That Relate To It But Are Not The Story Itself

[Captain Tammo]

I liked the flashback you did in five! It made the chapter a little shorter, but it was nice getting some context on how Fret was adopted, and you had a solid ending to that chapter too! It's pretty sad so far but I can sense something ominous looming over the horizon that's going to mix things up.

[The Grey Coincidence]

Oh yes, things will start going very downhill from hereon in.
Glad you liked the flashback. There are plenty of those going forwards.

[Captain Tammo]

AHA! So the Redwallers don't think they're being hateful toward Fret, but in every way that's how Fret is experiencing it. It's a very "I don't hate vermin, BUT..." kind of attitude I'm picking up on, and it reminds me a lot of things I've heard people in the real world say when they're talking from one social majority about a social minority. One example that some of you guys may be familiar with is the line "I'm not racist, BUT..."

You've kept everything Redwall-friendly here (not to mention well-written), which is great! I just couldn't help but notice how easily one could relate Fret's experiences over to the real world. Nice work!

[The Grey Coincidence]

To be fair Fret isn't perfect either. You'll notice a trend going forwards where he perceives slights against him as more than what they are. He takes jokes a *little* too seriously or doesn't believe in getting accidentally bumped into, things like that. That's not to say that there isn't any bias around him, it's just that he perceives it as being on purpose, when a lot of it isn't. (I mean, some of it is, but not all of it). The Skipper incident is pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to him (at this point... For now), but there's a bit more too it than just the fact that he's a ferret... As you will see.
The thing about the first few chapters is that (aside from flashbacks and a few scenes) it's all from Fret's perspective. You don't get an inside look on what others think of him until... Well... others think of him.

[Captain Tammo]

I've lost count what chapter I'm on, lol, but THIS ONE was the best so far! Fret has just been introduced to the Honest Bunch (love that name, by the way. The same goes for our hare Jack-is-Lucky -- great name)!

I feel like a lot happened in the chapter: everyone played a part, whether at the abbey, at the camp, or in-between; you tied up the loose ends that someone less experienced may have forgotten about; you developed Sharp and Grey's relationship and introduced a few new characters in a way that wasn't overwhelming; and above all, we saw more of Fret's struggles going back and forth in his mind. Really, really solid chapter!

[The Grey Coincidence]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! The Honest Bunch are pretty relevant going forwards so I'm glad you like them.
Generally I struggle with names (why I stole a few, Martin, Bella, Constance, Jon Connington (albeit the last one wasn't really from Redwall...) So I'm glad you liked Jack-is-Lucky at least (a name I don't think I stole but I'm unsure about that too...)
I think it's chapter seven... But I lost count too XD Either way I know what you're talking about.

[Captain Tammo]

Poor Connington! Nice work weaving in a new sub-plot there. It makes the story even more interesting. I didn't think it possible, but Fret seems more torn than ever. I wonder how this 'll pan out...

[The Grey Coincidence]

Sometimes I think this story has too many subplots.... Which is why it's so long. Glad you're liking it so far.

[Captain Tammo]

Just finished chapter 9 and my gosh things just got intense! It's the first battle we've seen so far (not counting the misunderstanding with the otters earlier on) and it was absolute mayhem. I actually had a bit of trouble with the flipping between scenes and perspectives. Sometimes adding a few dashes between lines or an extra blank line helps tell the difference between scenes (see below). But still, this was nicely done!

---

Man... so we have this Longclaw character who has claimed himself king of the north, Fret finally finding someone like him in the HONEST BUNCH (not gonna get that name wrong again), Fret finally trying to explain himself instead of snapping, things look good and then BAM! this poor guy! Surely there's gotta be a good ending for him... RIGHT?!

[The Grey Coincidence]

That's actually some great advice- and I think I'm going to have to go through this whole story because I just realized nothing is italicized... Evidently copy and paste is useless.

Perhaps... Although from where you're standing things will get worse before they get better... If they do get better that is...

[The Grey Coincidence]

Double post but this is a (semi-important) question I have.
So baaaasically I was thinking of turning Black and White into an audiobook- I'm not sure if this is legal or not, that one's the big question. Since I don't want to break the law and all...
Secondly, if I *am* allowed to do this, does anyone want to voice anyone?
I have done the first chapter myself, though again- those things called copyright laws... Ahem... Yeah

[The Witessss]

as long as ya don' do it for money you're probably fine.

[Sebias of Redwall]

I've got a question. Do you think Black and White will ever have any side stories? (I know if you start the audio book thing you'd be pretty busy, but that would be awesome seeing stories on certain characters) (Just a thought) 

[The Grey Coincidence]

Can you expand the question a bit? Side stories on who? What? Set where?
(Although I think I can give that question a vague yes, but at the same time -not in the next few weeks.
The reason I say yes is mostly because I love Redwall so much I'm obviously going to write *something* for it even when Black and White's done.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Well...It was kinda vague 'cause the possibilities are endless. Though that one vermin who's related to Fret would be an interesting side story I think.
I'm really glad that you are open to the idea...I was hoping you would be. I'd love to see more of you Redwall stories.