The First World Problems Game

Ashleg · December 18, 2017, 05:36:51 PM

Someone posts a petty problem (for example, "My dad got me a white yacht but I wanted a red one,") and the person below them must make it into a real problem ("My dad got me a white yacht but I wanted a red one, so he threw me off it!")

I'll start:

I have too much food.

Nadaz, voice of the host · December 18, 2017, 08:54:06 PM

but it's all poisoned and you can not find other food so you will either starve or be poisoned

Ashleg · December 19, 2017, 12:01:34 AM

So dark.

You were supposed to post a problem too.

Oh well. I'll do it.

My cable is slow!

Delthion · December 19, 2017, 01:52:31 AM

That's because you're in a cable car. The cable has snapped, and you are plummeting to your doom.

This is Oban 14, I wanted Oban 21.

Søren · December 19, 2017, 05:52:03 AM

Its actually sweet cider from Costco
There are too many drones in the sky!

Nadaz, voice of the host · December 20, 2017, 04:35:16 PM

they're military drones attacking you for no reason
my Christmas tree is to tall

Ashleg · December 20, 2017, 11:53:44 PM

And it's so tall it broke through the roof of your house.

My carpet has a stain on it.

Delthion · December 21, 2017, 04:21:44 AM

That stain is an impervious flesh-eating bacteria, and you just stepped on the stain...

My computer is too slow.

Ashleg · December 23, 2017, 09:43:15 PM

The computer has important financial information on the screen, and everyone who walks past can see it.

My dog smells bad!

Nadaz, voice of the host · December 27, 2017, 10:34:51 PM

Because he has toxic chemicals in a vial in his mouth and now you have been exposed to them and you will die, don't worry your dog is not harmed

Ashleg · January 04, 2018, 06:23:21 AM

You need to post a problem.

Nadaz, voice of the host · January 04, 2018, 08:17:22 PM

I can't think of a new year resolution

Ashleg · January 04, 2018, 08:55:56 PM

The reason you can't think of a New Years' Resolution is because you don't have a brain, and therefore can't think of anything at all!

I got a gift card to a store I don't like.

Delthion · January 04, 2018, 09:11:56 PM

Ninja'd

The reason that you can't think of a New Years Resolution is that you are undergoing a brain transplant.

I am grossed out by retainers.

The reason you dislike the store is because they are going to sell your body parts.

asmodeus · January 26, 2018, 05:03:38 PM

...Because retainers can control what you say remotely and inhibit freedom of speech.

I don't like broccoli

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The First World Problems Game