Waffles' Bazaar of Curious and Slightly Defective Objects!

[Luftwaffles]

Buttttt... we sell alarm clocks! And shotguns! And we tend to mix them up...

[Kade Rivok]

I require pointy throwing objects, please.

[Russa Nodrey]

Do you sell bikes?

[Luftwaffles]

I require pointy throwing objects, please.

Right away, sir!

*Gets a bunch of screwdrivers and wields them together on a starfish-like shape with an overpowered wielding torch that's connected to the store's heating system*.

...

*Finds it impossible to pick the devilish contraption up, as it is pointy on all sides*.

*Kicks it like Ronaldinho and lands it on the counter right in front of Kade*.

Do you sell bikes?

Of course! Right this way, dear lady.

*Disappears into a manhole and makes his way to the nearest junkyard*.

*He's busy at work getting the wheels off a broken cart and mounts them on a PVC tube which origins he does not wish to know. The sad remnants of what used to be a complex stereo provide the rubbery parts and wiring of the brakes... but there are no suitable pieces for the brakes, so he makes a handlebar out of a bent pipe and connects the dangling wire to the front wheel, causing it to get slightly jammed every time the """mechanism""" is pulled*.

*Sneaks it back into the store to avoid paying junkyard fees*.

[Russa Nodrey]

*Gasp* I love it! How much is it?

[Luftwaffles]

*Gasp* I love it! How much is it?

Let's see.

*Points at you with a radar gun, then somehow calculates the speed your are moving versus your height to determine how much money is on your purse*.

Exactly that much!

[shisteer of nothing much]

*leaves with the rock, very contented and happy* I'll give you a five star review, sir.

[Russa Nodrey]

*Gasp* I love it! How much is it?

Let's see.

*Points at you with a radar gun, then somehow calculates the speed your are moving versus your height to determine how much money is on your purse*.

Exactly that much!

This high quality bike for just 3 cents? Awesome! *Gives Luft 3 pennies and rides away on the bike*

[Sebias of Redwall]

May I have a nickel?

[Luftwaffles]

*Gasp* I love it! How much is it?

Let's see.

*Points at you with a radar gun, then somehow calculates the speed your are moving versus your height to determine how much money is on your purse*.

Exactly that much!

This high quality bike for just 3 cents? Awesome! *Gives Luft 3 pennies and rides away on the bike*

*Takes the money and waves*.

Did I glue it together? Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine

May I have a nickel?

Sure thing! *Hastily pastes a bad cutout of Snoopy's face on a coat button*