Jokes

[Rainshadow]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"

  Oh, how I love blonde jokes!

[Rusvul]

what did the tree say to the sky?

[Redwaller]

Hi(gh)!

[Rainshadow]

  A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk "Where do you keep the curtains for computers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face "Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blonde's eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"

[UNKN0WN]

you are quite mean to blondes *snickers in background*

[Redwallfan7]

  A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk "Where do you keep the curtains for computers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face "Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blonde's eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"

Lol! Good one Rain!

[WarriorOfMossflower]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the possum that it could be done.

Ha, the things we do to amuse ourselves. Most of which are not funny, with the exception of blonde jokes.

[UNKN0WN]

o....k.....

[Rusvul]

the emoticon walked into a bar.  --------> BAR
the bartender says:
- express yourself! dont be so emotionless!

[Rainshadow]

  Here's one I heard in a TV show:

 A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water.  The bartender pulls out a shotgun and shoots just to the right of the man.  The man thanks the bartender, gives him a tip, and walks out.

 Why did the man thank the bartender and give him a tip?

  A:  He had the hiccups!

[psybox]

three logicians walk into a bar, the bartender asks "Do you all want a drink?" one logician said "I don't know" the next said "I don't know" the third said "Yes".

[W0NWILL]

There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree. The tree said: "I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!"

So the bear went first. "I wish all the bears in the forest are females." And all the bears in the forest turned into females.

The rabbit said: "I wish I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.

The bear wishes: "I wish all the bears in the country are females." His wish was granted.

The rabbit says, "I wish I have a motorcycle." By this point the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he's ever seen. The rabbit could wish for money and have all the motorcycles in the world.

The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world are female." The wish is granted.

When it's the rabbit's turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorcycle, and says: "I wish that bear is gay."
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Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
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This blonde was driving home one day on the highway when suddenly she saw a dead rabbit. She put on her brakes and screeched to a stop. Behind her were tons of other cars. She got out of her car and began asking all the people behind her if they had a can of hairspray. One person asked her why she had stopped and why she needed hairspray. The blonde told him to come to the front of her car. So he went to the front and saw a dead rabbit laying there. The person gave her a can of hairspray. The blonde replied, "Thank you." And the guy said, "Why do you need the hairspray?" The blonde sprayed it all over the rabbit and said, "The bottle says it revives dead hairs."

[Skyblade]

  Here's one I heard in a TV show:

  A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water.  The bartender pulls out a shotgun and shoots just to the right of the man.  The man thanks the bartender, gives him a tip, and walks out.

  Why did the man thank the bartender and give him a tip?

Why?

[Rainshadow]

  Simple:  The man had the hiccups.

[W0NWILL]