Jokes

[Ceteruler]

“Not enough info makes for a lot of dead cats."
"Dead cats?"
"You know, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' And I have enough curiosity to start a feline genocide."
"Feline genocide?"
"Yeah. If you don't explain Apollo, the cat kingdom will crumble. Cats all over the world will suddenly plop down in unmoving masses of fur, their food will dry up in smelly chunks of fish, and when people call, 'Here, kitty kitty kitty,' no cats will come running; they'll just-" Walter suddenly stopped.
"What's wrong?" Ashley asked.
Walter stared straight ahead. "I just realized . . . if all those things happened, no one would notice the difference."
Circles of Seven by Bryan Davis.

[Nightfire]

I love that!!! Can I turn that into my siggie? Please? Please? Please? Not the whole thing, just one part of it.

[Ceteruler]

sure. It's not my work.

[Mad Maudie]

Some blond jokes

This blonde went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy asked her if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Oh, six," she said. "I could never eat twelve pieces."

During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:

GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix

When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.

[Ceteruler]

I guess you really like that last one if you post it twice :p

[Nightfire]

Hahaha, I loved the second one!

[Mad Maudie]

it was accidental i meant to put a different one on let me see if i can find it this was the one  i meant to put

What did the blonde do when she missed the 44 bus?

She took the 22 bus twice instead.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?

Because it said "concentrate."

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?

The power went out for 5 hours leaving twelve blondes stranded on their way to the second floor on the escalator.

[redwallgurl]

i feel bad for my hair and self

[Mad Maudie]

are you a blond too do not worry i am but i still think they are funny!

[Tiria Wildlough]

Don't feel bad redwallgurl. I don't think you are dumb.

[Nightfire]

I know plenty of redhead and brunette jokes, too, if that makes you feel any better. And I'm a brunette! Don't worry, we never mean any of the blonde jokes. Here's a few redhead jokes:

Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something.

Q: How do you get a readhead's mood to change?
A: Wait ten seconds.

Q: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A: There's a hammer embedded in the moniter.

Aaaand a few brunette jokes:

Q: What's a brunette that has dyed her hair?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why does a brunette throw water on her keyboard?
A: To surf the internet.
______________________________________________________

A Russian, an American, and a Brunette were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Brunette said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Brunette replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

[Mad Maudie]

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa love the last one! but it sounds like it aught to be a blond joke here are some blond jokes

It takes forever to make a blond snowman

You have to hallow out the head.

How do you make a blonds eye glow?

Shine a flashlight through her ear.

[Nightfire]

Hah, my nose glows if I shine a flashlight into my mouth. I think that last one is really a brunette joke.

[Mad Maudie]

While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, "What in the world are blind people doing driving?"

[Redwallfan7]

What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gatorade!