Jokes

[Nightfire]

Nice.

[Redwallfan7]

A duck walks in a store, and purchases a chap stick.

The clerk asks him: Cash or credit, sir?

The duck: Just put it on my bill

[Tiria Wildlough]

The Alphabet

A little boy's teacher, Mrs. Brown, told him he needed to learn the first four letters of the alphabet. When school finished, he went home and asked his mum 'What's the first letter of the alphabet?'
She was cooking dinner, and she said, 'Shut up.'
The little boy went to his dad, who was in the bathroom, and asked him 'What's the second letter of the alphabet?' His dad said 'In the toilet!'
He went to his sister, who was on the phone to her boyfriend, and asked her 'What's the third letter of the alphabet?'
'Ooh yeah!' she said.
The boy went to his little brother, who was playing with his toy batman. He asked him 'What's the fourth letter of the alphabet?'
The little brother said 'Boom boom Batman!'
When the boy went to school the next day, Mrs. Brown asked him, 'What's the first letter of the alphabet?'
'Shut up!'
'Where are your manners?' she said.
'In the toilet!'
'Do you want to go to the principal's office?'
'Ooh yeah!'
'Who do you think you are?' she yelled at him.
'Boom boom Batman!'

[Cheesethief]

Life insurance premiums are based solely on how far away you live from Chuck Norris.

[Ceteruler]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to mow the lawn; he just looks at the grass and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris split the Union with a roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris died three years ago. Death is just too scared to tell him.

Chuck Norris used pepper spray to spice up his meals.

Chuck Norris tore the atom apart with his bare hands.

Where's Waldo? Hiding from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. He decides what time it is.

XD I know a lot of those jokes.

[Nightfire]

Tiria, I loved that alphabet one!!!

[eualaia]

trolol these are funneh

[Tiria Wildlough]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to mow the lawn; he just looks at the grass and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris split the Union with a roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris died three years ago. Death is just too scared to tell him.

Chuck Norris used pepper spray to spice up his meals.

Chuck Norris tore the atom apart with his bare hands.

Where's Waldo? Hiding from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. He decides what time it is.

XD I know a lot of those jokes.

Bahaha! I love Chuck Norris jokes.

[eualaia]

another alphabet one


kid: can i got to the bathroom?
teacher: if you say the alphabet.
kid:abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz
teacher: wheres the "p"
kid: running down my leg
(get it?)

[Ceteruler]

*facepalm* I got it, but I wish I didn't have to.
Three men walked into a bar. The fourth man ducked.

[Bragoon]

A guy compiled a book of Chuck Norris jokes, Ceteruler.  Unfortunately, it's a bit mature.  That said, my favorite is

Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people too fast for death to process them.

[Mad Maudie]

*facepalm* I got it, but I wish I didn't have to.
Three men walked into a bar. The fourth man ducked.

love it!

[eualaia]

person: knock knock
person 2: who's there
person: chuck norris
person 2: chuck norris who?
person: CHUCK NORRIS KILLED YOU!!!!!

[Tiria Wildlough]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris who?
Boy, you're tough. You should be running away.

[Redwallfan7]

Can we do blonde jokes?