CoMe HeRe WhEn YoU ArE BoReD

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Juzt zae everybody iz aware, the death defyin' beaverz are back again, an' thiz time with mutato-rayz tha' mutate ye intae whatever the holder iz currently thinkin' aboat.

Zae aye, we're in trouble noo...

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

I've translated this from a message sent from a poet amongst the death-defying beavers.

Darkness and silence was the doom of the Ancient death-defying beavers. They were long trapped in the dungeons of the Timeless Planet, lost through their voyages. Lost for countless time. Well, considering they actually got flung out of time, that isn't true, but whatever. The absense of time compared to the timed universe is drastic. It would seem since ever the ancient death-defying beavers had been gone. Now they were awake, awaking from the sleep that had greeted them from spinning out of the universe.
The oldest amongst them spoke. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" (best I, or even the beaver before me, could translate it).
The ancients all woke up and went to work. They rebuilt their ship, and powered up. They boarded, and it launched from the planet. Through the Timed Passage they went through, making it back to the universe.
They shouted in happiness at being back to the universe.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
The ancients are communicating to us, we picked this up from space, a very long way away.

I'm guessing this is important, if some death-defying beavers who speak an ancient tongue are abroad. Guess if and when they show up, we;ll find out more about them. Or, I can try to intercept more beaver mess...what...NO!
THE BEAVERS HAVE FOUND ME!!!!
Quick, hide the flying bulldozers!

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Dinnae let them brainwash ye, matey! RUN!

[Redwall Musician]

And to think I lost my flying bulldozers license. And then I sold my invisible flying bulldozer. Grrrrrrrr.
Anyways, I'm still safe.

*someone knocks on door*
*opens door*

The beavers are back!!!!! They are at my front door!!!
RUN!!!!!!RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

*Is looking up the sith species on wookieepedia and hears his window open and then close. Looks back and sees nothing, so he goes back to reading the page. Hears some beaver noises and turns around, seeing a beaver that's pointing a mutato-gun at him.* Oh ratz. ZZZT! *looks at himself and sees that he's been mutated into a sith (the species)*
*It must have seen my computer screen when it fired it. At least I'm not a squash... he says to himself.*
*the beaver smiles*
Uh oh.
*narely avoids another shot and jumps out of his window and runs off*

*stops to catch his breath against a nearby tree* Zae noo ah look like a sith (the zpeziez). Great...

[DanielofRedwall]

Meh, beavers. They've got nothing on me. *Dodges a beaver attacking him on a pogo stick with a lightsaber*

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

Gfberutfyiudegfiuhsgfsgdgk!!
AAAAH! THE BEAVERS ARE UPON US! RUUNNNN!

[DanielofRedwall]

They're coming after me on segways! What do I do? Oh, I know, walk away, they won't catch up to me that way! *Walks off with beaver chasing him on a Segway*

[Nightfire]

NIGHTFIRE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND SPRINKLES THE DEATH-DEFYING BEAVERS WITH SALT, THUS TAKING AWAY THEIR DEATH-DEFYING-NESS, AND MAKING THEM ORDINARY BEAVERS. THEN SHE KILLS THEM ALL.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

The beaverz cackle with glee at Nightfire, who'z hooked up tae a machine an' doeznae realise tha' zhe'z in a virtual world, az zalt in reality haz nay an effect on them.

[James Gryphon]

Ferahgo was the greatest weasel ever.

By the way, in a war between the weasels and the death-defying beavers, who would win?

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

I think the answer has been found.


And I think I'm close on getting another message from that beaver poet fellow...assuming he doesn't show up with a flying bulldozer that's invisible. He might even already be here...

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

There widnae be a war matey, they'd zend one Weasel tae deal with them aw...
And he would.

[Redwall Musician]

I playing cards with the beavers
*turns to the beavers*
Got any sevens?
*beaver pulls out rocket gun*
*Musician runs away*
(Never play cards with a death defying beaver. Because if you win, you die.)

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

Picked up several minuted ago:

Gjdshkfgtdsyugfhdsgfhgdyfefjbds dgfdshgfiyegfkhdgsk dgfdgfydsgfydsgfsdjg
dfshdfdgfhdtyfgdshgfdsyufgjdsgfhdgf

Translation:

Those who have returned speak an ancient version of our language, they are coming towards earth too. I recommend we greet them and include them in our forces.


Great, now another bunch of death-defying beavers is going here. Of course, the ditto-rays pretty much make that irrelevant.

Oh, and the beavers have built a Super-large Invisible Flying Bulldozer, and have used it to push Connecticut aside from their invasion route.
...
Things are bad.