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corin the black fox

Started by Captain Rake Nightfur, April 13, 2012, 05:39:12 PM

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Captain Rake Nightfur

Umm..on second thought, would you mind editing this for me too, mosss-sama...? ^^' )
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 12, 2012, 03:14:19 AM
Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 11, 2012, 02:50:54 PM
also rinson is the quiet type...o!and i want to know  what you thought of a poem I made up for cap 8, I made it up pretty quick(3 minute) so it's probably not great but I just want t know what you think.

The world will be one with the sky's,
As the sun slips through tired gales
I wait here alone for  dear friends,
Now gone away from me,
As my tired body grows old, and my history unfolds
I see their faces clear as day, ands wish that I could join them some day.
I feel my time has come, to sat down this pen,
And lay back to see my dear friends
~ recorder glof in the time of abbot shon


R.I.P. )
Acknowledged. I'll make sure he sounds quieter in following chapters.

As for the poem, I like the poem as a whole, but it could be made to flow a little better. I can edit it a little bit if you want. It was made quickly, so that's understandable.
(No offense.)
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 12, 2012, 11:00:25 PM
Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)
Corin somehow strikes me as charismatic. Don't know why. I like writing about him. So, my crushes are lining up as a boy from school, a country (England, from Hetalia), Corin, Martin the Warrior, etc.  :-[
*sighs* What is wrong with me? xD
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

WarriorOfMossflower

The world will be one with the skies,
As the sun slips through tired gails,
I wait here alone for the dear friends who tell no lies,
Now gone from me, my spirit fails.
As my tired body grows old,
and my history unfolds,
I see their faces as clear as day,
I wish I could join them somehow, some way,
I feel my time has come,
to set down the pen,
and journey away,
to see my old friends.
~Recorder Glof in the time of Abbot Shon


Hope you like it!
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:36:08 AM
Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 12, 2012, 11:00:25 PM
Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)
Corin somehow strikes me as charismatic. Don't know why. I like writing about him. So, my crushes are lining up as a boy from school, a country (England, from Hetalia), Corin, Martin the Warrior, etc.  :-[
*sighs* What is wrong with me? xD
O.O Ooo..really? X3 his based on my older brother and my dad, XD and i don't know moss, o-o i just don't know XD rofl And for your sake moss-sama, i'll give corin a larger cap time in cap 8 :3 )
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Captain Rake Nightfur

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:41:37 AM
The world will be one with the skies,
As the sun slips through tired gails,
I wait here alone for the dear friends who tell no lies,
Now gone from me, my spirit fails.
As my tired body grows old,
and my history unfolds,
I see their faces as clear as day,
I wish I could join them somehow, some way,
I feel my time has come,
to set down the pen,
and journey away,
to see my old friends.
~Recorder Glof in the time of Abbot Shon


Hope you like it!
Yay!i like it. :3 thanks!)
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 13, 2012, 07:39:23 PM
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:36:08 AM
Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 12, 2012, 11:00:25 PM
Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)
Corin somehow strikes me as charismatic. Don't know why. I like writing about him. So, my crushes are lining up as a boy from school, a country (England, from Hetalia), Corin, Martin the Warrior, etc.  :-[
*sighs* What is wrong with me? xD
O.O Ooo..really? X3 his based on my older brother and my dad, XD and i don't know moss, o-o i just don't know XD rofl And for your sake moss-sama, i'll give corin a larger cap time in cap 8 :3 )
K, thanks! Corin's awesome.
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

WarriorOfMossflower

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 13, 2012, 07:40:46 PM
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:41:37 AM
The world will be one with the skies,
As the sun slips through tired gails,
I wait here alone for the dear friends who tell no lies,
Now gone from me, my spirit fails.
As my tired body grows old,
and my history unfolds,
I see their faces as clear as day,
I wish I could join them somehow, some way,
I feel my time has come,
to set down the pen,
and journey away,
to see my old friends.
~Recorder Glof in the time of Abbot Shon


Hope you like it!
Yay!i like it. :3 thanks!)
no prob
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

WarriorOfMossflower

#127
 
6

Outside, the sun shone brightly. However, inside the Warlord's tent, a storm was brewing.
"Lost?! LOST?!" Wellcane shrieked. "Off track? You pickle-pawed bottle-nosed lily-livered excuse for a Seer!"
The Seer cowered as the Warlord vented his spleen on her.
"I should skin you alive like I did that rat!" he snarled.
"Lord..." the Seer began placatingly.
"'Lord' nothing!" Wellcane snapped, raising his axe threateningly.
"But my Lord," Runso ventured, her sly mind turning furtively in an effort to mend the problem at hand. "I have recieved an omen."
Wellcane paused in his tirade, staring at her.
                                                                       
                                                           *

Unknown to the Warlord, two figures were observing the camp.
A young hare with sandy-coloured fur chuckled. "Hmph! Well bucko, looks like we've got a spot o' vermin on the bloomin' offensive, wot!"
His companion, a lean, sharp-eyed Galloper, smiled dryly in agreement. He spoke with a thick highland brogue, "Aye, mate, and Ah bet mah auntie's pinnafore that his Lordship Ironclaw will be pleased tae see 'em."
"Pleased ye say, Raketam? I think his paws will burst his flippin' boots, wot wot!"
Raketam shifted restlessly, an insane battle light glittering in his eyes. "Well then, let's gae tae tell him, shall we?"
The sandy hare nodded. "Right-o, chap!"

                                                         *

Farris and Rigon had their heads close together, whispering and laughing quietly. The kitchen door flew open as a young otter with a roguish grin on his face raced out. Friar Thomas came puffing after him, waving a ladle. "You young rip! Give me back my scones and tea!"
The otter, Aden, winked at the Friar. Farris and Rigon tried to hide their smiles.
"Sorry," Aden spread his paws innocently, gazing sorrowfully at the mouse-cook. "I ate them. But I'll tell you what; I'll help you in the kitchen all day, hmm?"
The Friar shook his head in mock despair. "You'll eat the Abbey out of house and home!"
Aden looked hurt. "Well then, sorry I couldn't be of help!" With a sly wink towards Farris and Rigon, he snatched the final scone that Friar Thomas was holding and fled.
Farris and Rigon burst out laughing when both creatures had gone.

                                                       *

Corin sighed sadly. This was depressing. "Well," he commented drearily to a dove. "It looks like I'll be leaving here soon..."
The dove clucked, almost disappointedly, and took to the air. Corin sighed again. Was Farris somewhere in the Abbey, enjoying his time with his friends? Corin couldn't relate to that feeling. He was an outcast.

Here ya go! 

In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Captain Rake Nightfur

#129
Working on cap 8 )
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

7
The heat was deafening, and so were the many voices.
"Why you little...what do you think you're doing?! Mind your step."
Farris, Rigon, and Aden the otter were having a bit of a row with an ill-tempered mouse called Ailen. Farris had been walking and had bumped into Ailen. Rigon and Aden had been on their way to the Cellars to get some cooking cider from Eadu Longspike the Cellarhog.
Farris stood, arms crossed, trying to keep his temper in check. "I didn't see you. Very sorry, sir."
"Unacceptable!" Ailen stomped a foot. "And was that sarcasm?"
Aden decided it was time to step in. "Look--"
The mouse turned and snapped, "Back off, riverdog!"
Mother Abbess Mitreeo presently was walking down the tunnel of flowing rose that the Gardener had lovingly put up. The red, white, and yellow flowers were draped all over, some fallen on the ground to make a lovely carpet. The few thorns were like tiny swords, protecting the roses from enemies, Mitreeo often reflected.
The Abbess sighed in despair as she picked up a fallen rose. It was pink and delicate, but it had been relieved of its stem by somebeast. "I must tell the Dibbuns to stop doing that," she mused to herself. Then, hearing the shouts of the argument, she glided gracefully over to see what was going on.

                                                          *

The hare Raketam and a large group of hares were sitting in the mess hall at Salamandastron. The hares were chatting, singing, ravenously attacking food, throwing food, and generally acting like hares. Many began calling for Raketam to sing an old Highland ballad. Raketam, after a few prods from his friend, willingly obliged and began in a strong, clear voice. His comrades joined in on the choruses, and, to the delight of the younger hares, Raketam did a classic river dance in time to the music, never once missing a beat. The older hares, having heard the ballad before, played flutes, drums, and horn pipes to the tune.


"*Oh then, tell mah Seán O'Farrell, tell mah why you hurry so?
"Hush a bhuachaill, hush and listen", an' his cheeks were all aglow,
"I bear orders from the cap'n:- get yer ready quick an' soon
For the pikes must be together by the rising o' the moon!"
By the rising o' the moon, by the rising o' the moon,

For the pikes must be together by the rising o' the moon

"An' come tell mah Seán O'Farrell where the gath'rin' is tae be?"
"In the old spot by the river, right well known tae ye and mah.
One more word for signal token:- whistle out the marchin' tune,
With yer pike upon yer shoulder, by the rising o' the moon."
By the rising o' the moon, by the rising o' the moon
With yer pike upon yer shoulder, by the rising o'  the moon.

Out from many a mud wall cabin eyes were watching through the night,
Many a beastly chest was throbbin', for the blessed morning light.
Murmurs ran along the valleys like the banshee's lonely croon
And a thousand pikes were flashin' at the rising o' the moon.
At the rising o' the moon, at the rising o' the moon.
And a thousand pikes were flashin' by the rising o' the moon.

There beside the singin' river that black mass of warriors was seen,
High above their shining weapons flew their own beloved green.
"Death tae every foe an' traitor! Forward strike the marchin' tune."
And hurrah my boys for freedom; 'tis the rising of the moon".
Tis the rising of the moon, 'tis the rising o' the moon
And hurrah mah boys for freedom; 'Tis the risin' o' the moon".

Well they fought for the poor old highlands , and full bitter was our fate,
Oh what glorious pride and sorrow, fills the name of ninety-eight!
Yet, thank goodness, e'en still are beating hearts in warriorhood burning noon,
Who would follow in their footsteps, at the rising of the moon
At the rising of the moon, At the rising of the moon
Who would follow in their footsteps, at the risin' o' the moon."

After the clapping and back-slapping was finished, Raketam and the other hare, Sandbuck Longsite, walked slowly up to the forge chamber. Both young hares waited a moment before knocking and coughing to make sure they were heard.
A loud, booming voice replied,
"Who is it?"
Raketam stood straight and tall as he barked out, "Eastern gallopers an' trackers reportin', sir!"
There was a pause, then;
"Come in."
The two young hares walked in and looked around. They had entered the realm of the Badger Lords; weapons and shields adorned the walls, next to coats of armor made from the hardest metals. Greatest of all, though, was Lord Ironclaw Grimrip himself. Standing taller than the hares' long ears, he was a formidable figure with dark brown eyes and a scar running across his shoulder blades. The long mark had no doubt been earned in some great battle. The young hares couldn't help but gaze in awe of this strong and wise creature.
Ironclaw looked down at them and the smallest hint of a smile played on his lips. "Well? Do you plan to stand there gaping all day?"
Both hares immediately jumped to attention.
Ironclaw chuckled, then his face grew serious once more. "Right, what is the news?"
Raketam and Sandbuck exchanged glances.
"Well, sir..." began the tall Highland hare. "Ye ken, it was fine until we got tae the high dunes down a pace from the northeast, there was a little surprise there awaitin' us, sir."
The Badger Lord eyed the hare and raised an eyebrow. "Go on."
"Vermin. 'Twas vermin, sir."
The badger's eyes lit up momentarily. "Vermin?"
"Aye, sir."
Ironclaw paced over to the window seat and looked out at the amber-tinted sea. "Fetch Captain Sean, and Major Crunsbort."

                                                      *
After Raketam told the officers, he walked to a ledge outside the fort and sat gazing wistfully at the full, reddish-tinted moon.
"Nobeast can take yer mem'ries from ye, nae matter how hard they try," he quoted, watching the stars peep out from their hiding places and take their place in the sky. As the sea lapped on the shore and a small crab waddled over the sands, Raketam's thoughts drifted to the past.
He had come from an old family of rulers over the mountains, and the vermin had come in the sixth season of his life. They took away everything he held dear and left him to die in the freezing snows, but hope springs anew if one trusts fate. And that had been the case with the small hare; he had been found by an elderly female hare named Densee. Densee had clothed him, fed him, and cared for him as long as he could remember. Alas, she died when he was twelve seasons old, and with great sorrow he had buried the old hare in a quiet glade.
So Raketam left the Highlands, taking the last reminder of his heritage; a beautiful sword forged by his grandfather. Along the way he had met vermin and woodland creatures, and even saved a family of bankvoles that had given him a cloak and food. He travelled farther until he ended up at Salamandastron at the age of thirteen seasons, but that had been two seasons ago.
Raketam sighed, recalling what the vermin had said when they left him to die;
"Ya ain't gonna last long, little brat, but we knew that, so that's why we're leavin' ye t'see yer family ag'in."


"bréaga álainn.*" He muttered, standing up and saying to his witness, the moon. "Ach Ní raibh mé bás!**"
He whirled around at the snap of a twig.
                                                         *
Corin had packed a haversack and was ready to set off into the darkness. He stopped as he heard a voice.
"Corin! Wait!"
He turned around, green eyes wide, to see Rigon and Farris standing with cloaks and food packs in their paws.
"We're coming with you!" they chimed together.


*this song is an Irish folk song. I own not of this, I only use  in the best fitting way I see in this book.(I also changed the words so it would said more like a hare song. even though I picked it because it sound like one...I changed the 'man' parts to 'beast' or pretends /pasterns as needed. and change ninety-eight to salamandastron and so on and so forth...DX)


*beautiful lies
**but I didn't die!

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 26, 2012, 02:14:22 AM

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.
Okay ^^ thanks)
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 26, 2012, 11:19:00 PM
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 26, 2012, 02:14:22 AM

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.
Okay ^^ thanks)
No prob, how goes Chapter 8?
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 27, 2012, 01:16:25 AM
Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 26, 2012, 11:19:00 PM
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 26, 2012, 02:14:22 AM

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.
Okay ^^ thanks)
DX Not good, I have the worse writers blocks ever on earth...DX Oh,well, I'm working on it., but for today and tomorrow I'm taking a break.)
No prob, how goes Chapter 8?
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Captain Rake Nightfur

Sorry guys I'm having Writing blocks T.T So I haven't finished cap 8, Dx I'll try t get it up by Saturday.)
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast