The Outlander

[SandyB]

I have to say, after reading only the intro, I can see you have a talent! Ive also been working on my own fan fiction for quite a long while that's similar to your idea of being different from a regular Jacques story. But I won't go into that too much, this is your page.
I couldn't help but notice the kingdom of Jima. As in Iwo Jima, Chi Chi Jima, or HaHa Jima? in my fan fiction, I have an island that's a spin-off of Iwo, I love Japanese history!
Another thing I found neat: SandoKHAN. As in Genghis Khan, the Mongol leader. I do not know if that was your intent, but I think it's an amazing name for a leader.

If you enjoy Japanese history, I'd suggest reading some books by James Bradley. Flyboys taught me a ton about it.

Again, I think you have a gift for this, a little influence is always good, but putting your own twist to things makes it special.i can't wait to read the rest!

Firstly - The land is named Jima after the island of Iwo Jima

Secondly - The name Sandokhan is actually Malaysian in origin

Thirdly thanks for the kind words.

[SandyB]

11

It was some time in the late morning as Sandokhan waded along the shallow waters of the Oda. It would be difficult for trackers to follow him without pawprints. He tried to make sense of all the events of that day. He couldn't figure out why he was running. He had done nothing. If he could only explain to Wateru and the others then maybe he could clear himself. Then the images of what he saw in the dojo flowed into his mind like a raging torrent. The bodies, the blood, who would do something that unspeakable? Stormvermin? No, to his knowledge nobeast had seen any of Claw's troops enter through the gate. So who was it?
   The fox's ears perked up as he sensed movement around him. He stopped in his tracks and unsheathed his blade. Suddenly four stormvermin rats, one a superior officer, revealed themselves from the rushing waters. The fox looked up and saw a musket team in the rocky overhangs of a cliff to his left. The gunner trying to balance the black powder weapon on the edge of a wooden support which his spotter had balanced on the rock. Sandokhan was sizing up the position and was about to make a move. "Don't even think about it," the gunner called down. "One move an' I'll turn yer brains to pulp an' I never miss!"
   Sandokhan just called him bluff as he made a lunge at one of the rats. The musket fired with a sound like booming thunder, the lead ball only found the rat directly behind Sandokhan as he ducked. The Stormvermin fell with a high pitched yelp and his body was carried off by the current. Both gunner and spotter were in deep shock. Impossible, nobeast has ever dodged a lead pellet. Another rat fell while the other two backed off. The musket rats fumbled furiously trying to reload the weapon, but the Samurai was on them in a second. He bounded and leaped up several small ledges until he reached the musket team and skewed them both with one thrust of his katana and cut upwards.
   From the bank of the river, the two rats still alive conversed in hushed tones. "He really is a deadly warrior,"
   "Aye, almost too magnificent ter kill!"
   "Well thank you!" Both rats turned around and saw the fox standing behind them. With their trump card now subdued, the will to fight had left the two Stormvermin. They disarmed themselves of their weapons and begged the Samurai for mercy. "Don't slay us!" Sandokhan for a second took pity on the rats that cowered at his footpaws. He sheathed the sublimely crafted weapon and glared coldly at them. "No, I won't kill you. That would be cowardly, I just want to see you squirm. Now you've lost some comrades, but I suggest you leave before you lose your heads!"
   The cowardly pair needed no second bidding as they scurried off northward up the river. As they ran, the pair conversed on what excuse they should tell Jagee. That was when one of the stormvermin, Deadpaw, had a brainwave. "'Ere, listen. All dat he said was he just wanted 'is sword, right?"
   His comrade Fang nodded dumbly at him, "Yeah, so?"
   "Woi don't we get dat ferret a sword dat looks exactly like it."
   'What about a 'ead? I mean that Jagee gonna want proof he's dead."
   "He said sword, nothin' about a 'ead, didn't 'e?"

*

   Sandokhan washed the blood off his blade in flowing waters before continuing on. The banks of the river had began to widen meaning he was close to the mouth of the River Oda. He had thought of turning back when he saw a medium sized junk on the low tide with blue sails. This was a sea guard ship. The fox waded through the waters towards the junk, waving his paws as he got closer.
   The goodbeasts of the sea guard accepted the fox amongst them as Sandokhan related the tale of what happened and his intentions. The captain of the junk, a stout but good hearted otter named Tsuzuku sucked on a pipe of herbal mixture. "That's an interesting war story, but tell me why must you leave here?" Tsuzuku asked. "My enemies have taken up positions of status in the power vacuum left by Lon's death. One of my friends, a beast I have trained with all my life has turned his back on his fellow warriors and is now spouting lies about me being a traitor to my own cause."
   "You would never turn over to the Eshin Army," the otter said. "Anyway Lord Sandokhan, his Lordship's sea guard is at your disposal." The fox shook his head wearily, "I know Tsuzuku. But your sea guard alone is not enough. I need more fighters." Tsuzuku expelled grey smoke from his mouth, "But where will we get more fighters from? I have a feeling that most of Eastern Osea will be in the same predicament we're facing. I've heard news that before Claw invaded he ransacked Lanka and butchered the Maharaja's army and his family. Face it, we're on our own."
   "Then we'll have to push further west for our salvation." The otter scratched his head puzzled, "Do you mean the Sultans of the desert lands?"
   "All that the Sultans care about is gold," Sandokhan scoffed in reply. "They would give us an army if the price was right!"
   "So where would you go to raise an army?" Sandokhan started thinking hard of a solution, then a thought crossed his mind. "There is... one place that comes to mind."
   "Where?" With that, Sandokhan rummaged around in his satchel producing one of his great grandfathers' journals and started flicking through the pages until he came across an illustration of a grand sandstone building. The fox pointed at the picture, "Here. To the far west of here is a land called Mossflower. There is an abbey in Mossflower with a long and proud warrior heritage. This order isn't as old as the samurai but they are as wise as they are brave and honourable. This is the place I need to find, Redwall Abbey." Tsuzuku was the picture of disbelief, "You cannot be serious,"
   "I am completely serious,"
   "That's further west than anybeast has ever travelled. Also I've heard tales that the seas around that region of the world are swarming with corsairs and pirates."
   "Then I will need a fast ship. Loaded with armaments, extra food and I'll need a good crew, one that knows how to pull through in a scrap," said Sandokhan. Tsuzuku paused to think hard about the request. "Alright ma, I mean my lord, I'll see if I can get hold of one of my cutter vessels. It may be small but it's quick and should be small enough to avoid unwanted attention," he said. Sandokhan shook paws heartily with the otter, "Thank you Tsuzuku, you're a true friend... matey." Tsuzuku chuckled lightly in reply.

*

Tsuzuku was true to his word. To took him four days to assemble what was left of his fleet, eight ships remained out of a fleet of twenty. All the captains donated their rations to Sandokhan's mission and an elite crew was hand picked. All seasoned veterans of the sea and hardened fighters. When the wind changed direction mid morning on the fifth day, Sandokhan bade his farewells to Tsuzuku. "Goodbye Sandokhan. It'll be a struggle, but I believe when you return victory will be assured," Tsuzuku said as the pair embraced. "Travel north up the river until your ships can go no further. Then travel east and seek out a temple. There you'll find an old monk called Tin-Jin, he's the only one who can help you now. Go to him and seek his wise council," Sandokhan advised. Tsuzuku bowed respectfully as the fox donned his helmet and walked up the plank to board his vessel. The small ship then hauled anchor and cast of into the wind. "Fair winds and good seasons to you all," Tsuzuku called out. "Good fortune to you too. I will come back, I promise," Sandokhan called back. The small vessel was indeed swift, clearing the headland in a matter of minutes and set on a south-westerly course around the south cost of Lanka and to push on further west.

12

Deadpaw and his partner Fang had returned to the Niji gate to search the bodies of the dead. The gate itself had fallen, the defenders massacred in a last stand effort. The pair were out in the killing field searching the fallen samurai for a sword identical to the Starfire katana. "What about this un?"
   "Na, it ain't got funny writin' on it an' the grips da wrong colour,"
   "This un? It's red wit' funny writin' on the blade,"
   "What about da scabb'rd,"
   "The what?"
   "Da sheath yer git! Da sheath," Deadpaw shouted at Fang. "It's red but no diamonds," Fang replied. "Na worries, I found un," said Deadpaw. Behind them they heard the wearets betting and fighting with each other over the spoils of war. One rule applied; as chieftain of the tribe, Roygel had first pick of everything. He paraded up and down in Lons' samurai armour and dai-katana with wearets howling out with roaring laughter. "Suits yer Chief," said one of the tribe. "Oi never pinched armour that fits me. Don't like da colour but Oi's like da gold." To Roygel's left two wearets were fighting over a katana. "Paws off der shiny sword! Dat's mine," said one wearet. With neither beast backing down, the two wearets had a head-butting contest for the rights to own the stolen blade, with their compatriots placing bets on the winner of the fight.
   Both Fang and Deadpaw didn't stay to watch, instead they were on their way to see Jagee at the dojo mansion.

*

Jagee had removed the body of his master and gave him a mock burial attended only by Tin-Jin's monks, no dignitaries were present. As one monk lit the incense sticks another spoke a prayer over the grave. Another monk asked Jagee "Will you say nothing about your master's passing?"
   "He was a kind and noble creature who loved this land that is all I can say." Out of the corner of his eye the ferret noticed movement around the back of a prayer shrine. The ferret bowed to the monks and excused himself. He walked through the aisles of graves and headstones looking over his shoulder to see if he was being followed. Satisfied that he was alone Jagee confronted Deadpaw and Fang. "Well, where is it?" the ferret demanded. Fang produced the sword which was hidden under his armour. The ferret snatched it from the rats' grasp and held it with awe, "What of the vulpine?" Deadpaw returned a thumbs down paw gesture shaking his head. "At last the Starfire is mine and the end of Sandokhan. Now my power is absolute, you two have done well. When Claws' assimilation of Jima is complete I will have the pair of you serve as captains of my guard."
   "Thank yer ludship," said Deadpaw. "Now leave me," Jagee demanded, "if I need you again I will summon you, go!" With that the two Stormvermin soldiers ran off to rejoin their regiment. The ferret's next step would be to summon dignitaries and nobles from across the domain. Clan chieftains, other samurai and spiritual leaders would bear witness to the ascension of power.

*

   He had gathered them all in the dojo's hall and from a balcony with Wataru and Tin-Jin at his side, he addressed the large yet disheartened and crestfallen gathering. "I know that the invasion of Jima was unpredicted and the loss of our Shogun has raked your hearts with grief. However, this is really a time to rejoice, a time that all Jima can savour. A time to rise from the ashes of this tragedy and witness the dawning of a new era. In which the Eshin Celestrial Realm and the Shogunate Domain of Jima come and work together for a bright and glorious future." Nobeast cheered or applauded, they all stood completely and utterly nonplussed. Only one creature challenged Jagee, the otter Wataru, "Be careful of your words, Jagee. What you say is treason and who's going to lead us, you?"
   "Of course, for I wield the Starfire katana! With it, our path to a bright future is assured," Jagee replied holding the red katana aloft. Wataru's jaw dropped to the floor.
   "How dare you!" Tin-Jin called out, "That sword is not yours, it belongs to Lord Sandokhan!"
   "Oh Abbot, don't you see the truth? Sandokhan was a traitor," the ferret replied coldly. There was a clamour of strong disagreement from all, Jagee raised his paws trying to calm the crowd. "My friends, please do not be angry with me. I saw it with my own eyes. After tricking us into thinking he was dead, he returned to this very dojo and murdered his, and my own master. I found him in the act and slew him myself. Forever after today his name shall be a symbol of treachery and betrayal." Some in the crowd started murmuring amongst themselves, but Jagee had more to say on the matter, "As holder of our country's most treasured relic it is I who will govern over Mochizuki to keep the Claw at bay and to be the head of a new Samurai council. Wataru, will you be my second?" Jagee said extending his paw for Wataru to shake, but the otter stared coldly at the ferret. "I'll never join you! Sandokhan was a friend of mine and I refuse to believe that he betrayed us," said Wataru before storming out of the ferrets presence. The otter ignored all around him only wanting to be away from Jagee and the place he grew up in. When he walked out onto the top of grand stone stairs he saw the massive doors of the Niji Gate open and the sound of heavy marching was heard in the distance. Being carried by his slaves at the head of his Stormvermin army, Ikkit Claw smiled evilly as his army trudged through his new conquest. The otter was so heartbroken that he broke down in tears where he stood, "Why do you cry brother?"
   Wataru looked through the veil of tears to see the otter Tsuzuku standing over him. "Tsuzuku I don't even know where to start. My country is now under the iron rule of a tyrant that cares nothing for our happiness, a great victory has been denied to us and today I lost my best friend."
   "Sandokhan is not dead,"
   Wataru's eyes dried and the otter stood up straight, "You talked to Sandy, he's alive?" Tsuzuku clamped a paw over Wataru's snout, "Shh! I don't want Jagee to hear. Tin-Jin's been making plans matey, and the one thing that will ensure they go well is that Jagee must believe Sandokhan's dead." Wataru nodded in understanding, he then looked over his shoulder to see if anybeast was listening before he whispered, "Where is he?"
   "Away. Far, far away to the western lands to find help and when he returns we will rid our homeland of the scourge that defiles it," said Tsuzuku, placing a reassuring paw on his brother's shoulder. The two otters then left the dojo for Tin-Jin's temple to await the monk's return however Wataru couldn't shake the feeling that Jima now belonged to the Eshin dynasty.

*

One night out on the heaving seas around the southern tip of Lanka, Sandokhan stood out on deck of his small vessel, feeling the harsh sea breeze blast his face as he stared west. His crew couldn't help but notice that he always stared west.

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

OK. I will try.

But I must warn you guys it is QUITE long.

You may double (or more) post in Redwall Fan Works if you are posting your creative works. Obviously it is impractical to do otherwise in your case.

[SandyB]

Thank you.

[Redwaller]

Awesome storyline!

I'll read it as soon as I have the time!

[SandyB]

BOOK 2 - http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=2004.0

[MatthiasMan]

. . . O_o Wow. . .Really where do you get the time to do this? I've never had any time due to extra curricular activities. I think that you should publish this book.
Have you ever told your parents about this? I bet they'd be blown away. (Well I guess it almost depends on age but still.)

My favorite part was in the beginning with Sandokhan and I for get the vixen's name. (I hope I spelled his name right)
That part made me laugh.

[SandyB]

. . . O_o Wow. . .Really where do you get the time to do this? I've never had any time due to extra curricular activities. I think that you should publish this book.
Have you ever told your parents about this? I bet they'd be blown away. (Well I guess it almost depends on age but still.)

My favorite part was in the beginning with Sandokhan and I for get the vixen's name. (I hope I spelled his name right)
That part made me laugh.

Thanks for that. Well, I had a lot of spare time when I was unemployed and I felt like writing. And the vixen's name is Ritsuko. It's not over yet, check out Part (or Book) 2!

[gorath]

It's good.

[AbbotAlf0805]

Its REALLY good.

[Shadowed One]

"This no rabble of mindless sea rats." Everyone present looked towards the voice came from. Jagee stood on his own away from the others. "These are Stormvermin. They are disciplined and organised.'

Was that as reference to Lord of the Rings?

[SandyB]

Actually, it was