A Vermin as Abbey Warrior?!

[Darkenmal]

Just have an idea for a story, that a vermin (race withheld ) would eventually find himself as Abbey Warrior. It eventually turns into the final battle for Redwall Abbey, where the very confused character has to choose a side, and in doing so the ancient Abbey's fate.

Some cliff-notes.

- I always wanted Redwall to be a little grittier. Think The Secret of Nimh, and that it there is eventually a happy ending.

- I liked in one book where a rat builds boats for the Dibbuns, and he turns out to be a pretty decent character in the end. I always wondered why not more vermin that were good, but I guess it would turn out to be a little clichéd.

- So I thought of another character who has the power of choice. Huge ramifications come from the result of his decisions, and he alone could be the difference between Redwall and its obliteration.

- All is not well in Redwall however, since the occurrence of the Dryditch fever has drastically thinned the Abbey's population. It hasn't just struck Redwall though, as both the Guosim and the Otters have also reached historic lows in population. Mossflower Wood has never seen such rampant devastation.

- An expedition was sent to claim the Icetor flowers, but nothing has been heard of the travelers since.

- One group that has remained relatively steady is the vermin in general, who see this as opportunity to finally claim Redwall, as they (correctly) see it as ripe for the pickings.

- Two vermin, one a warrior, the other a master tactician, must choose between what is the right thing, or fall prey to their own greed.

The final battle of Redwall is about to commence, who will win? Who will die? Will Redwall survive? Or will it fall to a ravaging horde?

[W0NWILL]

That's brilliant! Though, you would have to make a good enough backstory for as to how the vermin became the abbey warrior. How the Redwallers would trust him enough to put him in charge of their lives.

[cairn destop]

The usual means of having a "vermin" living at Redwall has happened in the book "Pearls" where Veil is raised at the Abbey. 

If you're looking for a twist, why not an outsider?  Who said the vermin savior is in the Abbey?  This leaves you the opportunity to use the old riddle game where some prophecy leads to an honorable vermin claiming the Sword of Martin.

Another possibility is having whichever vermin character you intend saving the Abbey questioning his/her purpose in the current conflict.  Does your character seek peace, or something more?  Lots of questions to consider.

Whichever way you go, give the vermin a realistic reason for taking the Abbey.  Yes, fame and power works.  However, the question nobody ever explores is what happens next.  Could the conquest of Redwall actually be more beneficial than the woodlanders winning?  Now there's a twist to gnaw on.

[phoenixfoden]

my fan fic has an evil mouse.an even eviler sqwuwell accomplace,a kind ,cuddly fat wolf......and a badass warrior abbot! you idea sounds cool,give it a go!

[WarriorOfMossflower]

Normally I'm not too big on vermin being good, as there is a very fine line between the good guys and the evil ones, but this sounds really interesting and I think you would do a great job! Please write it.

[phoenixfoden]

mabey add a concence telling him what is right and wrong and if he lissens to it or greed gets the better of him.

[Darkenmal]

Wow, I never expected such a rapid response.  

I wrote a vague outline as well... not the completed story but enough to start, I think.

I will start writing it soon, but school will make it hard... I will start a new thread when I do.

To start some more discussion, I will release a few other tidbits, and some helpful critique would be most welcome!

- Main Character lives alone with his mother and brother, after their father was slain, the mother decides that the regular vermin life is not for them, and finds a cave and rears the family there.

- Main Character is a swordsmen, most proficient with the longsword, (but the variant where the sword can be used with one hand, or with two)

- Brother is the master tactician, and I would say at least rivals Cluny in his intelligence and how he executes his plans.

- Vermin will actually have a brain, at least to a greater degree than seen in the books.

- I will honestly try to use the different types of dialects seen in the books, such as molespeech, vermin speech and just the way the creatures talk. It will be tough, and the speech itself may come across as a little more modern, but hopefully the spirit of Redwall will shine through.

- Not sure if Salamandastron will be in it, but the idea I have for them is pretty original (If I decide to put it in)

- One of the few named character thus far is Dusktail, the Main Character. I really like the name, as it is both descriptive and informative. Plus it sounds cool (try and guess the race of the MC now! )

- The brother I am debating whether or not to either make him a leader or to kill him. Two good vermin may be a little too clichéd.

- There is an Abbot/Abbess, and goes by the name of Sylvaticus. A little little research and intuition should give you both the race and gender of this character!

- I plan on having at the very least a rough sketch of the plot structure, as 9/10 of fanfics die because of at least in part due to a lack of clear direction.

- The way Dusktail is allowed into the Abbey is pretty heroic, and one of the few things that I have pretty much planned out. If I write it correctly, it should bring back some classic Redwall memories. But he is still not without suspicion...

- It is Dusktail's conscience for his first major action that really kickstarts the whole story, and it also gives Dusktail a motive, both for his enemies and for himself.

- I'm writing this to be end of Redwall, in that there would be no more books after this. Literally, there would be nothing to write about. Take from it what you will.

I may add more later, but for now I hope this whets everyone's appetite! If I keep receiving such an enthusiastic response, I will really put this in high gear and make this a higher priority. Regardless, I will write it eventually.

Thanks for reading. RRREDDDWWWAAALLLLLL!

[W0NWILL]

I hate you. No offense. Redwall cannot die!

[Darkenmal]

Redwall never dies, it lives on in our hearts and in our imaginations.

But what did you think of what I wrote? Something besides a, "I hate you!" lol.

[WarriorOfMossflower]

*stammers* D-d-death of Re-redwall?
As in, death? All characters+Abbey+vermin+Salamandastron, etc. wiped off the map?
HOW?! Because that's the only way it could work; everything just gone. There will always be tales to tell about Redwall unless some great catastrophe erases all of the country of Mossflower off the map!

Okay, sorry. *deep breaths* Didn't mean to flame or hate. I still support the general idea, I guess. I like the rest of your notes; it seems that you have this pretty well planned out. You sound like a great writer and, while I may disagree with some ideas, I look forward to seeing you write this fanfiction. I didn't mean to be offensive. Good luck, and just know that I'm still a fan regardless of what I said. 

[Darkenmal]

*stammers* D-d-death of Re-redwall?
As in, death? All characters+Abbey+vermin+Salamandastron, etc. wiped off the map?
HOW?! Because that's the only way it could work; everything just gone. There will always be tales to tell about Redwall unless some great catastrophe erases all of the country of Mossflower off the map!

Okay, sorry. *deep breaths* Didn't mean to flame or hate. I still support the general idea, I guess. I like the rest of your notes; it seems that you have this pretty well planned out. You sound like a great writer and, while I may disagree with some ideas, I look forward to seeing you write this fanfiction. I didn't mean to be offensive. Good luck, and just know that I'm still a fan regardless of what I said. 

Thanks for the support!... I think.

And yes, I have been thinking over it quite a bit. Loamhedge was abandoned because of a plague, I was thinking something of that magnitude... or maybe it won't happen. Its just ideas at this point... but I find that a lot of the newer books, starting with Legend of Luke, got slightly tedious. Something needs to be shaken up. They were basically superheroes in most of the final books. I want to go back to the first few novels where Good Guys actually died.

I was thinking more like there wouldn't be any more vermin after this, but I keep changing my mind. Its becoming a lot more difficult and grander in scale then when I first thought of it.

I'm actually doing my utmost to make this like an actual Redwall book... Its in three parts, and Book 1 is called Warriors and Runaways. I even tried to write a poem at the very beginning like some of the books... No idea how that will turn out. I don't know about songs though. I may have to draw the line there. I will probably end up trying it too, lol.

Maybe I can also get someone to draw me a cool picture for the cover... but baby steps right now... I don't want to overreach myself... just get it on paper.

[cairn destop]

I commend you on the outline.  Used properly, you'll find a lot of holes to fill in your story.  And you are so right about a lot of stories faltering or never ending.  It can be frustrating.

Ending the Abbey.  Yes, I like that.  Will be doing that in my series, though killing it off isn't my way.  'Nough said since this is your thread.

[cregga rose eyes]

I think the idea of a good vermin is great. I've personally attempted doing so. It is on Fanfiction.net, is called Crest Rise. Similar idea, vermin (mine is a fox) decides to become good.  so on, so forth.

I think your story Darkenmal will be great with hard work and good grammar.

(p.s. Redwall always survives!)

[phoenixfoden]

you should read rollo the power hungery.its my fanfic the grammar sucks but it is a cool story with good vermin and 2 evil redwallers!you might find some caricter ideas.

[Darkenmal]

Exams are coming closer and closer, but I managed to work on Dusktail a little bit.

Synopsis
_{(may need some revision)}

Lord Swiftpaw of Salamandastron is old, and feels even older. Knowing that his time is near, he is anxiously looking for a successor. However, time is working against him, and no one has been worthy enough to take on the mantle of Badger Lord. The Western Shores may soon lack defenders, with a horde of enemies soon on the horizon...

Mossflower Country looks beautiful, but what is happening inside it is anything but. The deadly Dryditch Fever has returned, and Redwalls own stock of The Flowers of Icetor have long since been used. It seems that Redwall itself, under young Abbess Sylvaticus, may be close to its destruction.

Dusktail the Fox lives with his mother and younger brother in relative harmony. His father has not returned in some seasons, but Dusktail is confident he will return, and his family can live a normal and happy life. Fate however, has other plans...

Coming Soon!™

Opening poem
_{(may be further revised)}

Book 1 : Warriors and Runaways

Two sons,

Of a hated foe.

One story is nearly done,

But another has only just begun.

A final choice to be made,

The warrior's son finally sees his day.

A debt long forgotten,

Will finally be paid.