News:

"Beep-Bloop" -Luftwaffles, 2024

Main Menu

Of Cruelty and Shadows

Started by Rusvul, February 26, 2014, 05:26:41 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Rusvul

So, I was looking over my other written things, and I wasn't really satisfied with any of them. I just didn't really like them, to be honest. So. I decided to write something else- In a journal format, which is something I've done before with moderate success. I'm really looking forward to Shade's Steampunk RP, so I wrote a little piece about that. This is from the point of view of Valerian Shadestep, a mouse tinker who is inventing a device he thinks will change the world.





May twenty-third

My food supplies are getting low. I have three, maybe four days at  most before they run dry entirely. I know I should purchase more, but I cannot stop my obsession with my ideas. I must continue working... The spring-lock mechanism isn't functional yet, and that's the simplest of the mechanisms involved... I haven't even started on the sanity-preservation systems... I dare not use it until I've completed them. I don't know what could happen, and losing my mind would surely not help me to eat. There's enough creatures thinking I've gone mad already, without shattering my mind with incomprehensible forces of shadow.


May twenty-fourth

My spring-lock mechanism, after much tweaking, is working at least adequately. But I had to create more space for a second counterbalance, and now I must reroute most of the prismakinesis through another system... It would seem I shall have more conduits running along the exerior of the device than I would like.

May twenty-seventh
My food supplies ran out today. My knife blade shattered, my prismakinetic spanner is wearing out. And my focusing umbranic crystals are destabilizing- If I cannot stop them, I'll have a case of umbranic decay, which can be quite dangerous. I could resolve the problem, but my umbranic spectralasys tools' shards are also destabilizing. This should not be happening.

May twenty-eighth

I have done a terrible thing. I had to, I couldn't have survived if I hadn't... But that is no consolation as waves of guilt wash over me. I'm a tinker, not a thief. I don't take what isn't mine, or at least I didn't used to. I wonder if I am little better than a common criminal- I have good intentions in mind, but as I have learned from Lord Karnac's actions, the end does most definitey not justify the means.
I should clarify.
I was walking down the street, trying to find some scraps to eat, or, stars forbid, a few stable umbranic shards... I saw a fat squirrel with an equally wide purse. I was so hungry, I couldn't stop myself... I can barely think about without a lump rising in my throat. This is what my audacity has brought me- An empty stomach, a broken device, a well of guilt, and an umbranic decay crisis.

May twenty-ninth

I have experienced a miracle. My umbranic shards have restabilized- That shouldn't happen, that shouldn't be possible... But it has happened, so I must assume that it is. The only thing I know of that could cause such an incident- Of sudden and unexplained instability, and then equally mysterious restabilization- would be a macroscopic bidimensional shift. But that... No, that isn't possible.

June third

My device is almost functional! It may not be stable... but it certainly is not as volatile as it was. I can do short range steps, but the effect it has on me is terifying. It's... changing me.  I feel quite a lot stronger, ready to defend myself if I have to. Also, I've not felt nearly as much guilt for the things I've had to take from others.
I have also found the cause of my umbranic shards de and restabilizing. It seems when I activate my device, the shards destabilize and cause negative effects to all around them. Upon deactivation, the shards correct themselves, but any lasting damage is still there.

June fifteenth

No. No. NO! This cannot have happened! I had little before... But now, I have nothing. The town in which I lived has been destroyed- every creature I ever knew was slain, imprisoned, or tortured. As I sat there in the gutters, hiding... Such a coward I am. I doubt I could have stopped them... but... Arkhalis... She's gone... I should have been at least brave enough to die by her side... I wonder why I don't just end my suffering now. I've got a knife... No. No, I cannot do that. I've been a coward once, I won't take the easy way out. They will be avenged. Karnac will be punished for his ways. Nobeast can take Arkhalis from me, and live to speak of it. I will not allow it. I swear on my prismakinetic spanner, and on the heart of my device.
I am Valerian Shadestep, I am he who walks in a void!

I will leave this text here, for any who may find this burnt husk of a town and be curious as to its destruction. I hope it isn't too distracted by my technical ramblings and personal problems. To assist this point, I have removed the first three quarters of this book, which concern only my device, my friendships, and my views.
To any who find this- Never trust Karnac. He is a murderer, a torturer, and a monster.




Edits where a mod saves Rus from his stupid yet easy to make mistake
Edit: GAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE I POSTED THIS IN THE WRONG SECTION! I'M AN IDIOT!
Ahem.
Could a mod please move this for me? If you find this and are not a mod, could you report this and say that I'd like it to be moved? Thank you. :)
Edit to the Edit: Thank yoouuu. I'm going to spoiler this because it's basically irrelevant now that you've kindly solved my absolutely idiotic problem :)
[close]

Blazemane

This works really well! I think with a format like this, you get the opportunity to make really broad strokes with the plot; you've ended up condensing a lot of character development into a short space. I also think there's something alluring and unnerving about the fact that the reader never actually gets to witness any of the scenes Valerian writes about--it's almost like it's more "out of our hands" this way; we can't react ourselves to these moments as they happen, and instead we read about them as unchangeable matters of the past.

I also like all of the science fiction. A lot of the details you refer to here are over my head, but that, in a way, adds to the "fantasy" of it.

Rusvul

Thank you! I've written like this before, but it was more in-depth and a lot longer. Most of the details are over my head, too, I don't think there's any such thig as an umbranic shard or a prismakinetic spanner- steampunk for you :P
I quite like this format. It's good for getting around writers block- I don't care how he solves the problem, just skip a day and say its done.
(Spelling and grammar errors probably, I'm ony phone and text is extremely laggy. It forces me to rely in autocorrect, and that's never a good thig.)

Captain Tammo

You have a wondeful writing style, keep it up! Will you post any more? Perhaps a creature that finds the journal and begins writing in it? Then the journal is found by creatures through the generations as the world changes around them!
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

Rusvul

Quote from: Captain Tammo on March 01, 2014, 05:22:42 PM
You have a wondeful writing style, keep it up! Will you post any more? Perhaps a creature that finds the journal and begins writing in it? Then the journal is found by creatures through the generations as the world changes around them!
Hmm... I might write more. Maybe another journal from Valerian as he finds the resistance? Idk. Probably not generations changing, though, because this is based around a roleplay, and I have no idea how the roleplay'll end.

Skyblade

I like the idea of a journal story. Sounds interesting :)

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

UNKN0WN

That last part about Karnac sounds quite foreboding.