Overlord's Orders XI

[LT Sandpaw]

Milord what Jasper says is true, and too top it all off the man who took all the goats turned out not to be the butcher at all but some random guy impersonating a butcher, We didn't even get a free barbecue.

OOC: Forgot to put that in my original post.

[Delthion]

But the only reason I followed them in the first place, oh most gracious and benevolent Overlord: Is because LT managed to take half of the money with him, it was caught on his jacket, but when I told him this he wouldn't listen to me and told me to go back, I followed him and kept telling him this but he refused to pay any attention to me. Then when we were chasing the thief, Soren asked me to get him a drink, I was thirsty too, so I found a puddle of goat's milk bottled some for Soren and then drank some for me, then I took off after the rest.

[LT Sandpaw]

OOC: Lol I had half a million buckaroos stuck in my jacket that's something I got to see unfortunately I didn't notice lol.


BIC: Milord I merely thought Delthion was abandoning his post I had no idea the money was stuck in my jacket. I was to preoccupied by the recent explosions and Soren who was knocked out and the problem with the milk. The money on my jacket must have fallen off while I was chasing the thief.

[James Gryphon]

"I've heard enough. You were all useless -- what good are servants that are so easily and repeatedly knocked unconscious? However, there is a greater offense against me that must be punished."

"I told all of you that nothing could be allowed to happen to the goats. LT Sandpaw: you directly disobeyed me. I cannot have a servant that so blatantly disregards my orders."

The spotlight shone down where LT Sandpaw was standing. The glass capsule opened up, but before he could move a robot picked him up and carried him, kicking and struggling, to a corner of the room. Part of the floor opened up and the robot dropped the hapless servant into the hole. He fell, screaming, downwards... several moments passed, until he could no longer be heard. Then, suddenly, LT appeared directly above the pit again -- and fell again, with the same result as the first time. This continued for a long time, probably ten minutes, until the Overlord finally said, "All right, that's enough of a racket. Computer, turn on the sonic damper."

The screaming stopped. The falling did not. The Overlord continued.

"When I first got into Overlording, there seemed to be a strange attraction among my peers to the concept of dropping former servants through holes. I must admit I never understood the appeal of this, just because the fun lasted for such a short amount of time. With the advent of modern technology, though, I was able to invent the first true bottomless pit. Auto-teleportation brings the subject back upwards, to continue falling. Thus, what was once a short and relatively anticlimactic punishment can now be drawn out for hours, days, weeks -- potentially for years. In this case, I expect I will let him fall for a week or so before giving him to my friend to deal with."

"So, only three of you left. I can hardly believe that your numbers dropped so fast. But three should be the perfect number to handle one last little errand for me."

"I'm craving sweet tea right now, and I'd love to have a burger and some fries to go with it. There's a fast food joint in the time period you're going to, called McDonalds, that sells all of these. I will teleport you near there, with enough cash to get me what I'm asking for. Get me the biggest of everything they have. You can buy yourselves food while you're there, I don't care; just get my meal and bring it back up here safely and quickly."

---

Some time later...

"I can tell you one thing: none of you have a future in the food delivery business. I didn't get anything but a melted ice cream shake, a cold Jr. burger, and three stale french fries. I have no use for any of this. Also, the receipt suggests that the three of you ate very well -- no less than 150 dollars and 81 cents worth of expenditures. How can you justify spending that kind of money, without bringing anything back for your Overlord? Explain yourselves."

[Delthion]

Most gracious and esteemed Overlord, the cause for this is the fact that Jasper had to go to the restroom, he mistook the basement for said restroom and found a button which he seemed to think was a door opener for the restroom, he pressed this button detonating a few kilos of C-4. After this happened some insane person started firing a rocket-launcher, I called the police and swiftly had them arrested, this is the cause for much of the bill, and also what caused Soren to be startled out of his wits and throw almost all of your fries into the air and onto the floor.

[Søren]

Your greatness, it is true I was startled, but for one reason: the crazy maniac that started firing before she was arrested hit me. I fell to my......hind quarters. When I got up, I couldn't hear anything. Everything was a buzz. Then Jasper, who was running out from the basement, came up and grabed me to use me as a human shield, even though the rocket launching had ceased. This started me out of my wits, my being temporarily deft then someone tacking me from behind. I'm afraid I dropped the fries. Jasper had gotten up and got the burger and soda, but then ate both. And then ate my meal. And Delthions. Jasper was unconcrollable in his eating habits. We had to run for our lives, he was so hungry. He started chewing on the walls and on people's arms. It was disturbing. Me and Del had to hide in the parking lot. When we returned, Jasper had eaten most of the food at the McDonalds. All that was left were some stale fries, a part milkshake, and one cold burger.
Jasper had stopped eating and.........jettisoned the inedible things he ate. While Jasper was sick, I said we should go to another McDonalds to get you food, but Del insisted on going straight home to our capsules. He said he didn't want to have another "Jasper episode".
So you can see your greatness, it's all Jaspers fault. If it wasn't for him not being observent, for him caring about himself more then the mission, for him having questionable dietary needs, we would have had a successful mission.

[Jasper]

OOC: I see it's the "gun for Jasper round"   

BIC:
What Delthion said was true, this odd McDonald's had door with the normal men's room logo on it, but when I entered it turned out to be the basement! I was confused and was about to exit when Delthion's voice from the shadows told me he couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet. I told him it was the basement, not the restrooms, but he said he had found a toilet and couldn't figure out how to flush it. I found him in a corner, and there was actually another door with the standard men's room logo on it. There was also a button that said "click to open" above it. I did so, but the door did not open, and instead whatever was inside the room exploded from C-4. I have no idea what that was about. It likely had something to do with that crazy jet packing missile shooting person that Delthion had arrested, but that comes later. This basement ordeal was neither my nor Delthion's fault, it was a sketchy McDonalds, I told Soren to pick a different one, but he wouldn't listen.

When I came out of the basement everything was going crazy! Soren was hit and knocked out by the launcher. Delthion and I weren't allowed to order because the McDonald's crew was dealing with an irritable group and their monopoly game. Soren began to wake up. That's when a single man, covered in pickles to hide his identity, and wearing a lab coat entered. He had the strangest array of weapons I've ever seen! First he fired at Soren with a "deaf-maker 2000" then once Soren had fallen to his knees, holding his ears, he fired at him with a "bullet proof vest maker 1750" which made him into some kind of odd metallic material, and too slow to move and, at my guess, bullet proof. I grabbed Soren and me and Del hid behind him. The crazy lab man fired epeatedly at us with an array of weapons, but Soren deflected them all in his new state. As we moved I yelled in Soren's ear:

"We gotta get out of here! You were supposed to get the food while I was in the bathroom! Where is it?"

He replied shakily: "That other group seemed obsessed with Monopoly! I was trying to start a game of it with them, and never had time to order food!"

Realizing he had not managed to get the food, I yelled to Del:

"Soren is too slow right now to do anything! You distract him and I'll go run and grab the food his great OverLordShip wanted, then we high tail it out of here!"

Delthion agreed, and when he began popping out from cover, I fell back and snuck around to the ordering area. While I was doing this, Delthion got hit by a "ski-jacket 2000" and then a "Kletomania 5685" which made him fully dressed in a ski suit, and steal some monopoly pieces and run out of the building, followed by that other group of odd customers! The lab man began focusing on me, and I managed to get all the things you wanted. I was about to escape, when he hit me with a "ravishing hunger for 1 hour 210." I immediately lost all sense of what was going on, and apparently ate everything in the store. The lab man exited, laughing insanely and talking about how all his inventions would  do well for his client "Bruce Wayne."

After Del came back and Soren got out of his state, I was very sick from all the food, but even so I told them we should get more food from the McDonald's that happened to be just across the road (terrible business idea in their part, but convenient for us.) As I staggered towards the McDonald's, and even crawled at one point, Soren and Delthion searched the wrecked one for what was left. They returned with the meager offerings you see now. Soren and Delthion began arguing about buying more food or not, and I ignored them and continued crawling. I was almost there, when they grabbed me and told me we had to get back to our capsules. Despite my protests they took me, saying they had found enough of the order anyway.

Luckily there was third McDonald's on the way, and I convinced them to stop there. They messed that up to though.

[Søren]

My lordship, this is true. But the pickled man and his companions, the ones that left the McDonalds with Delthion, are actually international thieves. Delthion works with them. This must have been a rest of some sort to see if all those crazy weapons worked. The weapons included the ones Jasper described, but also included a mind-control 8299. It's a weapon that induces mind control on a verbal command. When Del said "episode", he took control of me. Even though I wanted to go and find another restaurant, I couldn't because I had no real control over my body. I still feel some residual effects even now. I assure you my lordship, it wasn't my fault. 

[Delthion]

Most esteemed and awesome Overlord, it is true that I have worked with those thieves in the past, but only to further your cause and attempt to complete the missions that you set before us. This time I have no idea what was going on, but I heard one of them whisper that Soren had asked for their assistance in overthrowing the Overlord. I was appalled and rushed forward to warn the McDonald's manager, unfortunately Jasper had bribed him to not talk to anyone but himself, when I questioned the assistant manager he said that Jasper had said that the day for the new overlords has come, and that he and Soren would rise to power. I desperately tried to get away but then the lab man fired at me and I went into an odd state, I couldn't help but steal the Monopoly pieces. When we had left I managed to convince Soren to turn away from his evil deeds, but Jasper would hear none of it. He started crawling to the McDonald's intent on poisoning your Lordship, I heard him say several times; "Must kill the Overlord, must kill the Overlord." Naturally, Soren and I were appalled and grabbed him and rushed him back before your Grace, trying to foil his evil deeds.

[Jasper]

It is true I bribed the manager to talk to no one but myself, but that was because I heard some of Soren's plot, and I wanted to be sure the food was not poisoned. The assistant manager did indeed tell Delthion that the day for new Overlords had come and that Soren and I would rise to power, but that was because he was in the service of the old Overlord before the great Gryph! By the time of new Overlords, I meant that Gryph was in charge now, so he had better let us skip the line and get his order as soon as possible! He was saying that Soren and I were going to rise to power because I told him that we were both servants of the mighty overlord. He must have mixed up my statements and thought I meant that Soren and I were going to be the mighty Overlords. Just a mix up of words on his part, you see.

As for Delthion convincing Soren to turn away from his evil deeds, that was what he mentioned earlier - when he convinced Soren to join him in leaving the McDonald's and thus not fulfilling the mission, and instead returning to our capsules. For some reason Delthion seems to think completing your orders is evil. As you already know, I was crawling towards the McDonalds, because the other two servants weren't completing the orders, and even in my injured state, I knew completion of said orders was the most important thing.

As for me saying "Must kill the Overlord," that was because Overlord Tagg from round X was trying to stop the mission! If you remember, he teleported away at the end of round X, leaving Gryph in charge! It turns out he had teleported to the other McDonald's, and when I had almost crawled all the way there, he pulled me back and let Delthion and Soren ruin the rest. He said he wanted revenge on Gryph for taking his place, so he had to make sure the mission would fail.

Thus as I crawled, I chanted desperately because I wanted to complete the mission

"Must kill the Overlord (as in Overlord Tagg), must kill the Overlord (Tagg again) and fulfill the mission!

This still does not explain how they managed to fail when I convinced them to stop at the third McDonalds.

[Søren]

My lord, I insist, even though I have done these things described, it was not of my own initiative. I was still under control of one of the members of Dels thief team. You see, it was all a charade. Even though I tried to help, I had no control over my body. It's all the thiefs fault.. If they weren't messing up everything my lord,  then none of this would have ever happened. Who knows what they were planning to steal. Maybe even some of your technology my lord.
As for the my talking to the thieves thing, that was also a act, for thiefs purposes. I assure your my overlord, if I would have had the power to do so, I would have saved this mission.

[Delthion]

The thieves had no connection to me at this time, it must have been Jasper! The only other person who new which McDonald's your most esteemed Lordship would be going!

[Jasper]

OOC: Soren said they were "Del's thief team"

After all of that, we stopped at a third McDonalds, a fact which these servants have been trying to avoid. You see, my sickness had gotten much worse, and they decided to leave me in the car. They went into the McDonald's and two minutes later there was an explosion, and a ton of screeching! The two clowns came sprinting out of the McDonald's with a herd of angry green antelope hot on their tails! I'm not sure exactly what they did to upset them, but I noticed Soren was holding your order on a tray in one hand, and a green antelope steak on a platter in his other hand. While he was running, Delthion tried to take a bite out of the steak and accidentally bit Soren instead! He yelled and dropped all the food, and jumped up and down with pain! Delthion left him for the antelope, grabbed the steak, and jumped in the car! I was too sick to stop him, and he drove off without Soren!

After a minute or two of driving, while Delthion told me he had to leave Soren behind, I noticed Soren riding behind us on one of the green antelopes! Delthion started throwing stuff at him to try to stop him, I don't know what had gotten into him!

[Delthion]

OOC: That was only because I had associated with them in the past.

Yes, Milord, but while we were at the third McDonald's the manager was a spy enthusiast, so he had intercepted a text from Soren to the clowns, it read, "It is time to overthrow James Gryphon from his position as Overlord! I will make myself Overlord and you will be my associates!" After that the team that had gone into the McDonald's and fired on us for no apparent reason had followed us to this next one and blew it up AGAIN! Then the clowns got there and teleported them somewhere, they had technology that was only second to your supreme excellency. When Soren brought the steak the lab-man fired "Extreme hunger, and Insanity" at me, making me eat the steak. Anyway, they arrived there and took Soren with them and provided him with a means of transportation, when they gave it to him they screamed "You go kill James Gryphon! You make him suffer!" The car we were driving had been excellently sound-proofed so Jasper couldn't hear it. I then leaped in the car and rushed to warn your imperial Lordship. He was following us and the antelope showed no sign of slowing, I then asked Jasper to take the wheel and I began throwing things at Soren.

[Søren]

Your greatness, it is true I sent those text messages. But it's not what it may appear to be. These particular clones speak a very interesting dialect of English. They replace some nouns and pronouns with others. What they understand as Soren is known to them as George Cloney, what they know as Delthion is James Gryohon. Also, "Overlord" is translated "servent" in our common English. Just to clear things up my lord, I would never do anything to harm you or even conceive to do so. I have never done anything that is contradicting to your power and authority.
Delthion, on the other hand, would like nothing better then to rule absolutely as you do my overlord. I have evidence of this. The clowns and I overheard Del talking to his spy in the McDonalds. He said, in plain English, which translates into exactly what it sounds like: "I will frame one of the team members and try to overthrow James Gryphon. It will be hard, but with the spy brigade at my side, we can stage a revolt and I'll become the new Overlord. Then I'll give you a handsome reward."
At this, I realized that I must protect you and the mission. I grabbed your order and a here of green antelope attacked. They tried to eat your food, but luckily, I'm a trained animal whisperer. I was able to convince the antelope that Del was the real villain. Because he is. The antelope are a feorcous species, but very loyal. They gave me a steak as a symbol of they're loyalty. Did I mention they're a peculiar society? We ran out into the main parking lot right after a explosion that I had no knowledge of ripped apart the McDonalds. Del was already running for the car, and  I chased after him. I almost caught him when whatever weapon that effected him caused him to try to bite my steak. The antelope didn't like that. They ran after Del with ferocity. I was give. A ride by one of the antelope and we chased after Del. He was throwing things at me. After we were able to catch up with the , I grabbed Del and tied him up. We held him until the end of the mission. I assured you my overlord, I had no intention of harming you. Del was acting evily and was trying to overthrow you.