Hiag's Torture Chambers!!! (Now Open!)

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Hiag'z Torture Chamberz! Ziz vill be open vonce ah return from me Vinter off ze computer. More information available at ze return! Tvill open zome toime in ze beginnin' o' February. Da svidaniya until zen! *Runz off tae ze Front Lavnz*

UPDATE:
...Und na' viz it bein' vell pazt February (albeit zeveral Februaryiez), tiz vell pazt toime fer ziz tae be open! Zae, vizoot furzer ado...

Velcome tae Hiag'z Torture Chamberz! 'ere iz a vazt zyztem o' chamberz, dungeonz, prizon cellz und etc. fer ye tae uze fer torture! Na' zome real interrogatin' can be ztarted! Ze Torture Chamberz iz a labyrinth o' innumerable roomz, corridorz, ztaircazez, tunnelz, und etc. Furzer dezcription o' it iz belov (viz lezz accent added tae it!) zae ye can learn av aboot ziz wunderbar place und vot it 'az tae offer.

The Torture Chambers are not only three-dimensional in their structure (i.e. they go left, right, up, down, forward, back, sideways, und etc.) but also are frequently changing. In other words, rooms/corridors/passages und etc. will change where they are in the Torture Chambers, at one point being a corridor away and the next being somewhere else- this is for further torture for those trying to traverse it. We have a very large selection of methods of torture.

• We have the old Iron Maiden, along with a different version of one where as you are being closed into it Iron Maiden music is being played.
• We also have the Vogon Poetry Reading Room, where you are tied to a chair and made to listen to a Vogon recite poetry, and then asked to tell them what you thought of it. Quite a popular method of torture.
• There is the Frozen Let It Go Room, where you are tied to a chair and made to listen to that song from the movie Frozen, "Let It Go", over and over and over endlessly.
• We have Waterboarding, one of many favourites for getting otherbeasts to talk.
• We have The Rack, where you are tied to a Rack, and have your body stretched to the more-than-painful point of it being overbearngly strained and eventually pulled apart.
• We have The Really Comfy Chair, where you are put into a very comfortable chair. Quite the one to cause terror.
• We have Denailing.
• We have The Embrace Of Pain, a favourite of the Yuuzhan Vong (from Star Wars) where your body is attached to a living creature and you are kept upside down, and every time you pull it pulls you tighter, as well as keeping you at a constant amount of pain, and keeping you alive and tending to any wounds and illnesses, so that you continue to be subject to the torture. More ken on it can found by following the link.
• We have The Devil's Snare plant, where it constricts you, and the more you resist, the tighter it pulls you. And what?! You think you can just remain still and relax, and then not be harmed, like in Harry Potter?! HA!!! We have something additional for that! You will be injected with a very large dose of caffeine, making it completely impossible for you to sit still. More ken on it can found by following the link.
• There are more things available, and more will be added!

Zae, again, Velcome tae ze Torture Chamberz! Ah'll pozt av o' ziz in ze firzt pozt tae 'ave it eazy to reach, and any furzer additionz tae ze lizt vill be put on zere. Ze ken und directionz o' vhere each o' ze roomz, corridorz, und etc. are currently, iz pzychically in me 'ead, zae feel free tae azk me if ye really vant tae get directionz tae a place. Or ye can try tae foind it on yer ovn. Zere iz alzae a teleporter if ye really vant tae get tae a place quickfazt...Alzough zometoimez ye end up zomevhere elze inztead. Eizer vay, Enjoy yer toime in Hiag'z Torture Chamberz!

[Maudie]

Seriously, what does Da svidaniya mean?

[BadgerLordFiredrake]

*attempts to break in*

[James Gryphon]

Apparently it's Russian: "Do svidaniya" is "Until we next meet".

[Lady Amber]

*Busts in and takes over* Mwuahahahahaha!

[BadgerLordFiredrake]

*busts in after Lady Amber and defenstrates her*

[Jetthebinturong]

*Bursts in and defenestrates Drake* You people need to find your own signature moves, defenestration is mine!

[Delthion]

*Bursts in and decapitates Jet.*

Fine, I did!

[Jetthebinturong]

*My ghost rises from my corpse* Oh you're so gonna wish you hadn't done that. It's poultergeist time!

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[Delthion]

*Exorcist comes. And gets rid of a ghost possessing me.* (Please go along with this it's going to be funny!)

Otto the Exorcist: "Now goodness and purity will reign in your heart, soul, and a little bit of your knee."

[Jetthebinturong]

SREE! I CANNOT BE BANISHED! THE CRAB GHOSTS WILL RULE SUPREME! SKREEEEEEE! *CLACK*

[Delthion]

No, it was a reference from the Carol Burnett Show!

The Reference

[close]

[Jetthebinturong]

That... was the most awful, horrible thing I have ever seen, excuse me while I pour bleach on my brain

[Izeroth]

 Do you mind if I take a sample of your bleached-over brain for the sake of scientific curiosity?

[Russa Nodrey]

*Defenestrates torture chambers* I have a rather large window.