Funny posts collection

[Gonff the Mousethief]

Yay! I got a few posts on here! Something to add to my accomplishments.

My favorite so far might have to be the pear one... Or the Skarz and Faiy song...

[Banya]

I saw her come in, but I was sorta busy and a little too nervous to talk. I waited until later, and I was talking with some friends of mine. So we were talking and she sorta slowly approached. So I basically blew my friend off, (he understands), and talked with her. I asked her about something that she did last week, and she was nice and it was went well. Then I thought the conversation was over, so I sorta turned away. Then she tapped my shoulder and and said one of my nicknames, and she wanted me to get something for her, so I did and it was nice. She used my nickname, it would be like saying "Soren", but a nickname would be "Sor". So I was happy about that. Then later she said bye when I was leaving, so it was cool.

The friend I was with figured it out. His face, basically:

[Banya]

I love that the Guests lead me to some of the most interesting old threads.  
Found this gem of James'.

Contrary to common claims, a peach is in fact a citrus.

It is said that characteristics of citrus fruits is that they are sour, and that they have many seeds, rather than just one, and that they are divided into segments, and that somehow this prohibits the peach from qualifying as a citrus. However, think about this: Oranges, grapefruits, lemons, etc. do not sell as well and are not as popular as peaches. Thus, it stands to reason that they would be prejudiced against the common peach and try to invent excuses to keep it from getting into the roster. This is not at all a scientific motivation; rather it is clearly part of a conspiracy against peaches.

We know that the peach is a citrus fruit because it is juicy. As my good friends the Yeti, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster can attest, "Cit" is the ancient Atlantean word for "water", and "rus" means "full of". Thus, "citrus" means "full of water".

We see this is accurate because neither apples nor bananas are citrus fruits, and they aren't full of water. Peaches, like oranges and watermelons, are both.

Hence, yes, the peach clearly is a citrus fruit.

EDIT: Adding this:

Our dog has been a fat lazy lump in the corner for three years. That freaking American pig-dog (bulldog) is never going to die. -_-

If it's been in the corner for three years, it might be dead.

[Russa Nodrey]

*Crashes threw the roof creating a gaping hole and lands in the couch* *Poses* Tada! *lookes up at the roof* Sorry about that... do not try and fly an eagle...no matter what LOTR says, it is not possible. So, whats up?

[Hickory]

Ahem.

BIC: Indeed, as everybody says, I am the expert of airplane mites. As a matter of fact, they are so ugly I chose to hide them from Soren because he might overreact to the sight of them. Alas, he did see them, and as a result he threw cantaloupes at us all.

[Delthion]

True enough. I still managed to turn him insane and manipulate him into killing his soulmate. I can also render him a helpless kitten by activating fears or replaying bad memories in his brain. The power is quite frankly delicious. And while I don't have the opportunity to rule the universe anymore, being able to emotionally destroy my archenemy is almost worth it.
Shut up

I Am Taller.

This was quite hilarious!

[Russa Nodrey]

lolz i <3 harry styles lolz lolz rofl

i thot u wer in2 matt damon!?! lolz

yah girl hes lik ur hubby lolz...

not anymore.........lolz......

rofl!!!!!!!!

(Literally.)

[Mhera]

From the MLB topic:

Every time i see the thread name i think 'My Little Brony.'

You cannot be serious.

[Banya]

From Consult the Bird-Lion:

Do you got bae?

Alpha One: Mission critical craft, under attack!
Alpha One: Mission critical craft, shields down!
Alpha One: Mission critical craft, hull condition critical.
Alpha One: Mission critical craft... destroyed.
Abort mission. Mission a failure.
The Habeen freighters have fallen prey to the Nharwaak. Admiral Zaarin is very upset. Keep a low profile on your return.

He's got bae.

[Søren]

*revive*
This is even funnier out of context:

Don't worry Soren I bet some day you'll be the lucky little punk 

[Delthion]

Just last night. I love her cold nose and soft fur.

When was the last time you hugged your crush?
Sorry James, just couldn't resist.

This was absolutely hilarious!!!!

[Søren]

Do you have an alternate personality/insane counterpart?

Who do you think has been posting this whole time?

Edit: and this:

Trying to decide between Europe and South America. You'd never guess why.

Good food and guinea pigs?

Jet and Sierra?

[Jetthebinturong]

0.o

[Delthion]

Who or what is Delka?

Delka is a mythical beast, that hides in 40 year old's closets and smells like mothballs. It's a cross between a squirrel and an Irishman. With a little shaggy dog thrown in. Terrifying, I know, but it doesn't like the light and finds alternative rock music uninteresting. I realize that these things, especially the last one, are hard to comprehend, but when you look in your closet only to be dragged around and eaten by a crazy squirrel/Irish dude/dog, you will understand.

This was abso-bally-lutely HILARIOUS!!! I actually started crying when I read it again.

[Hickory]

Do you have an alternate personality/insane counterpart?

Who do you think has been posting this whole time?

Edit: and this:

Trying to decide between Europe and South America. You'd never guess why.

Good food and guinea pigs?

Jet and Sierra?

I was gonna make a topic shipping Banya and Siera, but decided against it. Good thing too.