Come And Learn, Young Children! AKA The School

[Kreg]

Is da stowy done missus teahcuh?

[Sebias of Redwall]

Yeah, is id?

[Russa Nodrey]

Not quite.

Little Dave successfully entered the mansion through the broken window, but was rather shocked by what he found inside. The entire house was as empty as a very empty box that has nothing in it and is therefore declared to be entirely empty. Indeed, the house was as empty as Dave's own pockets, slightly emptier than his growling stomach, but not nearly as empty as his future. It was all too much for Little Dave. Had great-uncle Cecil moved? Had he died? Had he ever existed to begin with? Perhaps he was only a creation of Dave's frazzled little mind. Dave soon grew tired of thinking depressing thoughts and went to sleep on the gross kitchen floor instead.

He awoke several hours later and found he was very cold. He opened his suitcase and took out his favorite cardigan. He pulled it on and was about to eat his last granola bar when he heard the front door open.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A real cliffhanger! Who do you think opened the door, children?

[Delthion]

Ur mum. Hurr hurr hurr.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Hmm... da daddy?

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Ze Gremlinz, o' courze!

[Sebias of Redwall]

Ze Gremlinz, o' courze!

What ee said.

[Kreg]

uhh burgerler

[Sebias of Redwall]

 

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

*Ze Gremlinz run off viz av o' ze teacherz*

[Jack the Quick]

*Waits patiently for class to resume*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Taps footpaw*

[Russa Nodrey]

Our story is nearly finished! Let's see how it ends.

-----------------------------------------

In walked a really old guy. "Hi, Little Dave," he said, "I'm Cecil's attorney."

"Hi," said Dave, who was very confused.

"I'm here to congratulate you on your huge inheritance. You see, Cecil kicked the bucket last week and left all his money to you. Normally it would have gone to your dad, but Cecil detested both your parents. So...yeah. Anyway, I have some paperwork here for you. You got a pen?"

Little Dave didn't answer. He was in shock. When he finally recovered his senses he found that a week had passed and he was in the hospital. His parents had mortgaged their house to pay the bus fare to come visit him, but Little Dave was now loaded so it didn't matter.

The End

What an amazing story! What was your favorite part?


EDIT:

The Entire Story

Little Dave's Uneventful Adventure

Part One
Once upon a time, in the lonely village of Ditchbury, there lived a little boy named Dave. He was very small for his age and had a bad case of foot warts. His mother's name was Mary and his father's name was Horace. He had five little sisters named Henrietta, Martha, Maple, Daphne, and Tabitha. The family was very poor and therefore had very little money. Little Dave, although very small, did what he could to help the family. He delivered pizzas on his electric scooter and washed dishes at the local pub after school.

Part Two
But little Dave's life was turned upside down when he received a mysterious letter from his great-uncle Cecil. Great-uncle Cecil was incredibly wealthy and extremely old. In fact, great-uncle Cecil was so very old that he had died before his letter arrived in little Dave's grubby hands. In the letter great-uncle Cecil had invited little Dave to stay in his mansion and attend Madam Mason's School For Scholarly Lads which lay just down the street. Poor little Dave, quite unaware of his uncle's unfortunate fate, quit his job at the pub and sold his electric scooter. With the money gained from the sale of the scooter he was able to buy a train ticket and thus arrived at his great-uncle Cecil's empty abode.

Part Three
Dave arrived at the mansion, marched up the fifty-three steps to the front porch, and stabbed at the doorbell several times with his stumpy forefinger. He waited several moments, but no one came to the door. Little Dave was feeling quite alone. What if great-uncle Cecil was hard of hearing? What if nobody ever heard the doorbell and little Dave was doomed to wait outside in the frigid winter winds, wasting the rest of his tiny life waiting for a door that might never open. Little Dave was a rather dramatic little fellow. After ten minutes of waiting, he'd had enough. He unzipped his suitcase and pulled out his favorite brick, Leslie*. Leslie was good at breaking things and great-uncle Cecil's hundred-year-old stained glass kitchen window was no different.

Author's note: You see, Little Dave had no friends and had therefore made himself his own group of brick friends. They were the best companions imaginable. Very loyal.

Part Four
Little Dave successfully entered the mansion through the broken window, but was rather shocked by what he found inside. The entire house was as empty as a very empty box that has nothing in it and is therefore declared to be entirely empty. Indeed, the house was as empty as Dave's own pockets, slightly emptier than his growling stomach, but not nearly as empty as his future. It was all too much for Little Dave. Had great-uncle Cecil moved? Had he died? Had he ever existed to begin with? Perhaps he was only a creation of Dave's frazzled little mind. Dave soon grew tired of thinking depressing thoughts and went to sleep on the gross kitchen floor instead.

He awoke several hours later and found he was very cold. He opened his suitcase and took out his favorite cardigan. He pulled it on and was about to eat his last granola bar when he heard the front door open.

Part Five
In walked a really old guy. "Hi, Little Dave," he said, "I'm Cecil's attorney."

"Hi," said Dave, who was very confused.

"I'm here to congratulate you on your huge inheritance. You see, Cecil kicked the bucket last week and left all his money to you. Normally it would have gone to your dad, but Cecil detested both your parents. So...yeah. Anyway, I have some paperwork here for you. You got a pen?"

Little Dave didn't answer. He was in shock. When he finally recovered his senses he found that a week had passed and he was in the hospital. His parents had mortgaged their house to pay the bus fare to come visit him, but Little Dave was now loaded so it didn't matter.

The End

[close]

[Tungro]

I fogot' it awedy'

[Russa Nodrey]

Haha! *Pats Tungro's little head*

Why are all my students talking like they're approximately three years old?