The Forum Fan-Fic

[Skyblade]

That's great!

[Russa Nodrey]

Awesome!

[Søren]

POSTPOSTPOSTPOST!

[Maudie]

It's great! I love it! 

[Gonff the Mousethief]

@Mask: Glad you did!

Alright, here is the next chapter! Sorry if it's short, not as well written, grammar errors, etc. I promise that the next chapter will have much more effort put into it. Oh, and think of this as a sort of Chp. 3, Pt. 1 since it's short. It was either put this up, or make the chapter super long. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 3



   Gonff awoke to the smell of cinder and the sound of agony. With his blurry vision he could make out the gatehouse door wide open and the tall towers of fire climbing around. Suddenly, a large shake came about the small room, throwing the Recorder out of his bed and onto the usually cold floor. Bits of dust and sandstone started to fall from the ceiling and onto the blue fox. His instincts of fear pulsed through him as he grabbed whatever documents where on his desk and ran out. The second his tail left, the structure collapsed.

   He had no idea what was going on. The fox stood on the Crimson colored wall and looked what was erupting before him. The Orchard was set aflame, letting the flicks of fire do their deadly dance across the leaves and fruit adored by the Redwallers. It's trickery also spread to the grass and Belltower, scarring it with ash. Amongst it all however was a greater sight. Dan the Wall Guard was taking on three heavy and dark figures, all dressed in tunics crafted from the nightly sky itself. His bow lay broken in half being eaten away by the fire, while his quiver and arrows stood still on his back. Surprisingly, he was dueling the creatures perfectly with two of his sharpest arrows. The quickness and agility from his strokes and energized squirrel legs overwhelmed his foes as with a few good stabs from the front and back made them fall and lie in the flames they had created. Not far from him the Badgerlord Søren was slicing away at a large group of the hidden foes. His axe swept through their lines, not letting a single one past. But they were not afraid of the axe, nor the might of the Badger; instead, it was the bright red shining through his dark brown eyes. The flames grew quicker and quicker around them as their fight journeyed on.

   Gonff was struggling to breath not only from the dense smoke, but the fear and confusion flooding his brain. But the spell of dread was soon broken as Cornflower, Tammo, and BatLord yelled out towards him further on down the wall.
"Gonff! Come on! We gotta get out o' here!" Tammo cried as he ran towards his bunkmate. The blue fox turned to the group and hurried to them, still dazed.
"W-what's going on? W-when, oh!" He asked as they rushed down the arrow covered stairs.
"We dunno! I couldn't get to the Bells fast enough to warn everybody. But we need to try to get whoever we can out!" BatLord yelled amongst the crackling of fire and clashing of weapons.
"Here Gonff, take this. I got it from the Kitchens on the way out," commented Cornflower. She tossed the Recorder a small knife used to slice what seemed like a heavy type of meat due to its ridged edges.
"Thank you Cornflower. Where shou-," He was cut off a javelin thrown by Skipper Leatgo landed in the crispy grass next to them. It's timbers were bloodstained, clearly already being used to defend the loyal's home.
"MOVE!" Yelled Leatgo, pushing them aside as he grabbed for his weapon. But it was too late. A thick black feathers arrow came soaring from the heavy smoke landing in the sweat covered back of the brave otter. A scream escaped him as his body fell, limp.
"LEATGO!" Tammo cried out, jumping down to the body of his friend. Tears immediately sprang from the Hare's eyes, so shocked from the event in front of him.

   The smoke above was quickly brushed out of the way as James broke from the sky where he had been dive bombing the attackers and took control of the situation. But before he could reach the body, another black feathers arrow shot, but was too slow for the Owl, as he caught it in his talon and flung it back, leaving only a gurgling sound coming from the edge of the thick gray air mass.
"Eul! Cover the foregrounds and head the west wall exit! Cover who ever is escaping!" The booming bird commanded.
The hawk nodded and dove down to where she was needed, duel switchblades in talon. James quickly took the limp form of the Otter Leader in his own talons and shouted down at the four. "Are there any others you've seen?"
"No, but we are trying to find them," Responded Cornflower.
"No! Get out! Hurry, we need to evacuate as many as we can!"
"But what about Sky and the Dibbuns? And the others in the Dorms, what about them?" Gonff asked in haste. The Owl gave him a direct look, making him wish he had never spoken.
"Follow Eul out to the West wall, now!" He yelled out with such vigor it put fear in everyone of them. But they still stood, even firmer as a large, deep horn blast shouted from the front gate. It's booming tone, followed by screeches produced by the attacking creatures made a coward of everyone, causing blood to curdle. Following the blast, a volley of arrows shot over.
"Into the Tower!" BatLord shouted as the three others were pulled into the Belltower. James made a quick escape and flew up above the volley and over to the West Wall. Many thuds hit the outside sandstone, shaking the structure a tad. Large clumps of smoke hung over the small area of protection. But above, next to the bells, the sounds of clashing steel and intense combat reigned. One of the duelers let out a "Gah!", alerting the four below who was in danger.
"POCKETS!" The terrified squirrel called, scurrying up the stairs toward her friend. When she made it past the layer of floating ash, she saw the scene laid out before her.

   Wylder was in an intense battle with one of the black clad beasts, both scarred and bruised from the swords of each other. The wanderer squirrel had just received a large sweep on the shoulder when his younger friend had made it to the fight. This caught the attention of the creature fighting the noble squirrel. Cornflower gazed up at him as well, and stood there in shock. The tips of its ears were solid black, pointed much like that of a cat. It's long dark tail stood relaxed much like it's easy green eyes. But its stare was focused on the female squirrel who was also transfixed on the beast. She tried to mumble something out, but hastily was grabbed by Wylder.
"Watch out below!" He called at the trio still keeping cover in the tower. With a seem-less motion, the squirrel swung a quick kick at the black cat and a swing at the rope holding the Matthias Bell.
"NO!" Were the last words the cat heard as he fell off of the top platform, then crushed by the Salamandastron crafted ringer.

   The sudden drop of the bell rung out, with each Redwaller there left with a different reaction. BatLord struggled back tears or memory and hurt as Cornflower and Wylder came down the steps, with the young squirrel still in shock by the sudden death of the cat.
"Hurry, we need to go. Tammo, take the lead, and I'll cover the rear."
The Hare shook his head and headed out, with the troubled others not far behind.

   When they made it back to the Front Lawns, more Redwall Warriors were taking up arms. Banya was beheading and stabbing two of the creatures simultaneously, with Rusvul close behind lighting one of the attackers on fire with his oil covered axe. Groddil, followed by his two assistants, came running out from the main building, avoiding the fire of arrows and well, fire itself. Seeing the chance, Tammo pointed towards them.
"Come on! Let's follow them!"
In agreement, the other four ran towards the Friar, past the warrior protecting their right to live and reside in the building. Soon, they all made it to the West Wall gate, where Jukka and Faiy were protecting with their bow and arrows. Both had a few cuts here and there, but for the most part were still in good shape to keep fighting.
"Hurry! Get on out!" Jukka called at the group, motioning for them to run faster. But Gonff tripped over his dirtied sleeping habit and fell onto the burnt grass, falling behind. Wylder helped him up and they finished out their last stretch until safety. Just as they were at the door, cries of babes came into ear shot, and the attention of the Blue fox turned and saw Sky, followed by Mhera And Rachel running to the door with the mass of Dibbuns. After them was one of creatures, gaining quickly on their tales. Angst and fear overcame the fox, but he knew something had to be done. Without a second though, he ran out, in the open battle field and fire, to protect the incoming Dibbuns. Many arrows almost landed into him, but he kept going unlit a few feet in front of the Badgermum. He closed his eyes and chunked his knife, hoping to either scare or stop the creature for a bit. But to his surprise, a yell came from the dark form. When he opened his eyes, he saw the body of the creature lying dead on the burning grass with the kitchen blade positioned in the side of the mysterious beast. A lucky shot for sure! He turned back and saw the group almost to the door, and sprinted towards them. Within the minute, the three groups of people running out where safely positioned outside the Abbey, where even more of the Warriors were out fighting.
   Much coughing ensued as the Redwallers who had made their break of freedom reached clean air. Smoke and ash, along with burns, cuts, Knicks and gashes stained all over their bodies. All of the young babes were crying, with many of the others and sorts wanting to do the same. However, cries and shouts were heard once more from the front wall. This time, another horn blasted and more arrows shot over.
"Get into the Woods! Hurry!" Wylder shouted over the chaos, pushing away brush for a nice entrance. When everyone was in the safety of Mossflower wood, they took a peak to what was unfolding under the night sky.

   On the West Wall top Ashenwyte and Sandpaw were slaughtering many. Both worked off one another, with the Badger rushing through the lines while dropping off his rat friend to clean up the the ones missed. Both their axes and sword gleaned in the fire light, watching it smote the red walls as the inhabitants smote their foes. Rainshadow was also on the wall, slaying with strokes of deadly delivery. She spotted out of the corner of her eye the group hiding back in the shrubs, and called out,
"Slings! Use Slings!"
Tammo and Cornflower immediately ripped off a bit of already torn cloth from their habits and gathered a pile of rocks up for themselves and others to use. Soon, a good amount of stones and pebbles were being flung up and over the defenders heads and down to whatever enemy was attacking down below.

   The Battle raged on, with more and more of the black creatures flooding the Abbey. Most of the Warriors who had been fighting in the foreground were now pushed back to the West Wall. Many, such as Jukka (Faiy had been knocked out by a stone) were helping other Redwallers to safety. The fires intensified as the attackers grew in numbers, with the heat and cinder flooding the air of all purity. The inside walls were blacked, the Belltower starting to crumble, and the windows in the Great Hall shattering. It was a horrendous scene for all defending. Soon enough, when two more waves of villains and arrows erupted, those left saw almost no hope left to fight for. Their home, a place of love, tranquility, comfort, all destroyed in the deathly night sky. Søren's bloodwrath was no more; Rusvul's fire axe had been dis-ignited; Dan's agility used all up; the scene was ruthless, and hopeless. But that was not what would turn them away from fighting.

   At this point, every last fighter was on the West Wall. The fight was too brutal, and whatever combat had there was was contained to simply shooting a bow or firing a sling. Suddenly, another blast from the terrible horn shot out, this time with a brutal "HOO, HAA, HOO, HAA" following it. James flew up and above the smoke to avoid another volley, but none came. Instead, what he saw was far, far worse.
"EVERYONE! OFF OF TH-,"...
It was too late.

   A sharp whistling sound followed the Owl's remark. Those on the ground looked up and saw the star scattered night sky seemingly become all black for a split second. Then it happened.
The Large boulders shot from the enemies Ballista hit dead on. The West Wall immediately toppled and crumbled down. Masses of red air escaped the ancient stone work as the sandstone bricks shattered upon impact. The once valiant Redwallers lay underneath the heap, with their only breathable air being smoke and red dust. The only thing they hear were the cries of their friends and laughs of their enemies. The only thing they saw was the red from their wounds, and the red bricks laying upon them.

   Gonff stood horrified by what he had witnessed. His eyes stood transfixed on the fallen wall in front of him, seeing the limp hand of Banya under one of the fallen bricks. The only thing that deterred him was Tammo yanking on his shoulder and pulling him away, with Matthias yelling out, "Into the Woods! Hurry!"

   The night sky reigned with blood on the wind, death in the air, and to torture in the hearts of those whose lives had been changed forever.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

That was intense. A few grammatical errors here and there, but this chapter was very enjoyable.

[Eulaliaaa!]

0_0

I like it  it was well-written (again, with a few grammatical errors, but it happens to all of us and they're minor), and I can't wait for another chapter!

[Jukka the Sling]

WOW.  Is it all a dream?!  We can't be dead!  What happens next?

I really enjoyed reading this chapter!

[Wylder Treejumper]

Woah! Amazingly engaging chapter Gonff! That is some very involving writing you have there! Excellent job!

Although, I'm not exactly sure where I am or whether I'm dead or not.

[Dannflower Reguba]

        Well dang dude, that sure escalated quickly o.O Anyway, nice chapter Gonff! The descriptions of the surroundings and action were, at the very least, solid. More often than not, they felt complete and engaged me. Character placement felt natural, and the order of (operations ) encounters felt very smooth, blending the entire thing together like a smoothie. Also, nice use of the semi-colon, props earned just for that  . The grammar and spelling was decent until roughly the 7th (?) paragraph where things got a little disorganized grammatically speaking. Finally, there were two instances that were a bit harder to follow, first being the bell tower incident, and the things that happened around it. I'm not sure what would have been better, but I just seemed to have a slightly more difficult time keeping track of what was happening, and to whom, though that may indeed be my problem. The second would be the wall's destruction, hard to tell what happened to whom, but I feel like that's the intention.

       Overall, solid chapter, good description, still need some fine tuning on spelling and grammar on the proof-reads (yes I saw your disclaimer, still thought it was worth mentioning). Enjoyed the read my friend, keep it up. 

P.S. It might help just to get 1 other person to read it before hand, doesn't really matter who, it could be a sibling, forum-goer, etc. But we tend to miss our mistakes more than those others make. Could really help accuracy, then again, I fully understand the desire to be the sole component of one's own work, just thought I'd throw that out as an idea. 

@Jukka the Sling IKR? Gonff just killed like, half of us. >D

[James Gryphon]

You already know that none of y'all are dead. The story never refers to any protagonist being killed or mortally wounded. The worst I see is a few beasts getting buried under some bricks.

[Dotti Dillworthy]

Intense and heart-pounding chapter, Gonff!

But I wonder what happened to me and Bonaparte on it. Suppose it for us be broken away from the rest of the group, leaving us fighting in our paws until we would fall off the rubble unconscious. But I fear that you would kill some of us off.
Anyway, nice chapter as always, Gonff! I'm always hungry for more.

[Søren]

Woaaaaaaaaaaaah, that was intense dude. It was so cool, I love the descriptions of the invaders and the battle, oh man, it was fantastic!!!

[The Skarzs]

Well, no nit-picks that I haven't said before.

Powerful chapter, but I'm a little confused by the final outcome. Who? How? Where? Why? Gah! I'm thinking the next part will help clarify.


Now I ask myself the question: Is it just as well I din't apply for a part? xD

[Lady Ashenwyte]

You already know that none of y'all are dead. The story never refers to any protagonist being killed or mortally wounded. The worst I see is a few beasts getting buried under some bricks.

Pretty sure Leatho dies after being shot in the back with an arrow.