Kill The Previous Poster (Nyet, Not Really!!!)

[Sebias of Redwall]

Again?! Fine! *As @The Skarzs sits on me I grab a spike and point it upwards*

[The Skarzs]

. . . You guys think I SIT on you to squish you? O_______o

*Drop kicks Sebias into the sun.*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Using magical powers I JUST manage to stop before hitting the sun, using my staff, I channel the sun's heat to one section of the Earth's surface, right on @The Skarzs *

[The Skarzs]

This topic isn't about finding a way to not die. It is finding creative ways of killing the previous poster.

*Stabs the previous poster with a poster of a knife.*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Chucks Skarzs into a lava pit*

[The Grey Coincidence]

Well according to some sources I have a sitting fetish (whatever that is).
Hmm... As fun as squishing Sebias is...
*Send Seb through a noodle maker*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Has Grey name a character after SJW and she comes and strangles Grey in his sleep*

[The Grey Coincidence]

Didn't she accuse me of that already XD?
*Force myself into Sebias' mind to haunt his dreams*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Force Grey to destroy all of his fanfics and watches as he dies of sorrow*

[The Grey Coincidence]

*Frame Sebias for the murder of Firestar the Warrior and watch as even his family turn against him*
Or is using forbidden knowledge illegal?

[Sebias of Redwall]

It is forbidden!!! 

* Forces Grey on a farm until he dies of tiredness*

[The Grey Coincidence]

...so my life?
*Force-feed Sebias milk until he explodes/dies of obesity*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Hooks Grey onto a jet as it takes off*

[The Grey Coincidence]

*Throws Seb into a jet engine*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Pushes Grey out of a jet as its flying*