Jokes

[Leatho Shellhound]

Carrots help with eyesight.

Oh ok, thanks.

[Redwaller]

Bob and Phil run into each other in a supermarket. They are old enemies, and Bob takes the chance to insult Phil.
"Hey Phil, you're momma's so dumb she can't read pictures!"
Phil looks at Bob strangely, "She's blind."
Bob pauses, then says, "...Oh, yeah."
They awkwardly stand together for a few moments before Phil speaks.
"And it's your momma, not you're momma."
Bob looks at Phil, confused, "You can see the words I'm speaking?"
"I eat a lot of carrots."

Lol!

[DanielofRedwall]

Moved this topic to The Cellars, as the posts here haven't been of the quality we'd like for Cavern Hole. Carry on.

[Dawnwing]

what do you call a traveling nun

Spoiler

a roamin' catholic

[close]

Actually a friend of mine said a similar joke and they were Catholic and it didn't offend either of us. I think it's actually pretty funny! 

My church's last priest always used to tell religious jokes before his speech at the staff dinners.  It was pretty funny because he didn't really seem a joking sort at first. 

[Ungatt Trunn]

what do you call a traveling nun

Spoiler

a roamin' catholic

[close]

Actually a friend of mine said a similar joke and they were Catholic and it didn't offend either of us. I think it's actually pretty funny! 

My church's last priest always used to tell religious jokes before his speech at the staff dinners.  It was pretty funny because he didn't really seem a joking sort at first. 

Do you remeber any of them?

[Romsca]

The priest at my church tells a lot of jokes

[Dawnwing]

what do you call a traveling nun

Spoiler

a roamin' catholic

[close]

Actually a friend of mine said a similar joke and they were Catholic and it didn't offend either of us. I think it's actually pretty funny! 

My church's last priest always used to tell religious jokes before his speech at the staff dinners.  It was pretty funny because he didn't really seem a joking sort at first. 

Do you remeber any of them?

Nope, unfortunately; it's been over a year and I've forgotten them.

[WarriorOfMossflower]

This isn't really a joke, but it's kind of funny if you think about it.

"The word 'politics' is derived from the words 'poly', meaning 'many', and 'tics', meaning 'blood-sucking parasites."
Lol, can't remember who said that. I like politic/politician jokes.

[Ungatt Trunn]

I once drew a comic about ehy english men just don't understand politics. There was a Tea Party somwere in the U.S.A, but the English men took it seriously! While everybody was bringing protest signs, he broght a picher of tea and mugs. It made my parents crack up!

[W0NWILL]

He has risen?
Yeah, it tends to do that.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much a drink is. The bartender replies, "For you? No charge."

I would tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogen, but NaH.


Wheee, element jokes!

If you don't get them

He is the abbreviation for helium.

Neutrons have no electric charge.

Sodium is Na and hydrogen is H.

[close]

[KitrallStreamrippler]

  I like them!

[Romsca]

#nook

I got them! Want me to tell a joke about potassium? 'K! 

[Norham Waterpaw]

Something a nerd should tell his girlfriend.care you made of Copper and Tellurium, because I think you're CuTe.

[Romsca]

Or how about...

Are you full of beryllium, gold and titanium? 'Cause you are BeAuTiFull!

[Norham Waterpaw]

Or...

A nerd and his not-so-smart friend go to a restaraunt. The waiter asks what will they have to drink.
The nerds says."I'll have some H-2-O."
The waiter, understands, and writes it down.
The friend says, trying to sound smart, says."I'll have some H-2-O too!"
The waiter, confused, writes that down.
The waiter comes back, gives them their drinks, and quickly leaves.
The friend gags on the floor for a minute then dies!

Geddit?

The waiter heard from the friend, H-2-O-2, that's the formula for hydrogen peroxide, lol.
Ah, nerd jokes.