Overlord's Orders VI

[Matthias720]

"M'lady, ToR might be justified in his confusion. At the airport, he was unsure of which plane to get on. I told him if he wasn't sure, he should flip a coin, and get on the one that comes up. He took my suggestion, and inadvertently got on the wrong plane."

"As for returning with those hula hoops, ToR seemed to think that the hula hoops would ward off the plastic beavers, but he couldn't carry them and the beavers, so he asked me to carry them here from the airport. Now, I am not a person who likes to create strife and tension, so in an effort to maintain a dynamic and coherent team structure, I acquiesced and carried the hula hoops for him. If you have any questions about the hula hoop or beavers, ask ToR, because I had nothing to do with them, except for lugging them around for him."

"The ferret, to the best of my knowledge, was still on the plane when we disembarked at the airport. But after ToR asked for help, I lost track of it. My apologies for my failure, m'lady."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

ToR finished off the plate of lasagna he had been eating. "The hula hoops did ware off the beavers. In fact, half of them melted. Quite an awkward display I'd say. Anyway, one of them turned out to be a real beaver and offered everyone a plate of lasagna, but we found out they were poisoned. But I managed to use the hula hoops to create a machine that purified the food, and the bodies of those who had eaten them. Granted none of us did, but saved the lives of three tourists all the same!"

[DanielofRedwall]

 Not totally neccessary OOC

OOC: Musician, I laughed heaps at this:"I can easily explain the cheese. You see aliens were attacking me because they thought I knew some person named Happy Jones. And like all people know, when aliens attack, throw the CHEESE!

[close]

BIC: "Oh great queen, my actions are simply explained, and might I say you'll find it wasn't all my fault. There were a few major parts to our journey which Trigoma conveniently left out for his own sake.
"You see, we were on our way to the bowtie shop when I came across the fish competition. I thought nothing of it and got my money out to get ready to pay for the bowtie. When Trigoma noticed the money, he seemed to get a bit crazy. He tackled me to the ground and yelled at me to give him the money. I tried telling him it was for the bowtie, but it was quite hard to understand as he was chocking me. I managed to get him off and stand up. I was quite dizzy from the needless tackling, so as I tried to walk to the bowtie shop I walked in the direction of the competition by accident. I was nearly at the contest when I saw straight again. And, as before, Trigoma tackled me again. This time, I fell back and accidentally let go of the money. It landed in to the bowl which the competition runner was using as a way for the contestants to pay. Thinking I was paying to enter, the competition runner grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over.
"I tried to protest, but he put gaffer tape over my mouth and tied a rope around my chest to the railing. Trigoma was too busy looking dreamily at a shop which sold unicorn-related merchandise to notice I was in trouble (he ran off after his second tackle). Sensing the only way to get out of it was to throw, I threw at the hole. Although I tried to miss, the wind caught the beanbag and it went through. I won the fish.
Trigoma came back at this point. I told the man we wouldn't take the prize, but Trigoma seemed upset about this and said we would. He instantly named the fish Bubbles. I began to feel we were running out of time, so instead of wasting our precious time, I grabbed the fish bowl. My hands were full, so I got Trigoma to carry the food. See, it wasn't because I was "too lazy".
"As a way to try and get rid of the fish, I said we should put it somewhere. Trigoma suggested to office, so we put the fish there and got the bowtie. On the way back, I hoped Trigoma would have forgotten about the fish, but he started to make us get it. I said we should leave it, but he was so upset about the idea of leaving Bubbles behind he yelled at me, grabbed the bowtie and threw it in the bin. Of course I would have gone to fish it out, but at that precise moment the man came and emptied the bin.
"So, we came back to you without a bowtie and with an unnecessary goldfish. To put the icing on the cake, Trigoma threw a banana peel in front of me, which I tripped on and accidentally spilt the water all over you. I apologize for this, and I promise I'll clean it up. I'll leave it to Trigoma to apologize for his own actions."

[Trigoma]

Ah yes milady. DanielOfRedwall has left out one fact. For you see, it was when he took out the money and begin to place it in the hands of the bowtie shop owner, that i noticed a strange thing about the owner. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as the money started to slip from Daniels fingers. It was then i noticed, that the bowtie shop owner was indeed, a plastic death defying beaver! I had to save the money in anyway possible, even if it ment taking down my own beloved friend. I then tackled him, and forced him outside.  It was then that he wandered over to the bowtie shop. Seeing the error in his judgment again, i continued to tackle him. But i watched as the money slipped from his grasp, and into the contestants bowl. This is when we pick up on us leaving the fish bowl.
   To continue, we then headed back with a succesfully bought bowtie from the proper owner. It was then that Daniel got the bright idea of making a dramatic entering. I knew something could go wrong, but Daniel seemed delusional on making a good impression. So he handed me a banana peel, and said he would then slide on it, do a triple front flip, nose dive performing a 360 degree vertical slicer, and land on your desk with the fish and bowtie. Well as he told you, i did as he asked and "threw" the peel in front of him. It is plainly his fault that failed to do as planned. If it wasnt for his "bright" idea, you would not be wet.

[Tiria Wildlough]

'You all did dumb things. Bragoon, you should have controlled your temper. Also, don't put crabs on people. That's just mean. Trigoma, tackling your partner is a pretty stupid thing to do. And DanielofRedwall, there was no need for a dramatic entrance. That kind of thing is dangerous.'
The Overlady folded her arms. 'But I suppose you want to know which one of you is going to go. That one is.........Mad Maudie.
'I never asked for any piranhas. I don't like fish that eat people. And there was no need to put my ferret's cage right on top of the piranhas. You should have known better than to do that.'
She clicked her fingers, and Mad Maudie dematerialized.
'She'll materialize in some river somewhere. And you don't need to worry about her drowning, because she'll be a piranha.'

OOC: Remaining players:
1. ToR
2.Trigoma
3. Bragoon
4. Redwall Musician
5. DanielofRedwall
6. Matthias720

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BIC:
Later, the Overlady summoned her six remaining servants. 'This time, I need a somewhat smashed flying bulldozer to put on display in my Death-Defying Beaver museum. Go to the beaver HQ and get it. After you've done that, get a bottle of dishwashing liquid from the beavers' kitchen.'
-----------------------
The Overlady waited for days. She waited for weeks. She waited for months.
Nearly a year later, the Overlady's servants arrived. The Overlady was furious with them.
'What took you so long?' she demanded. 'I think that eleven months is long enough for you to get what I asked for. Instead, Bragoon turns up with a tin of shoe polish, and insists that it tastes nice. Redwall Musician arrives wearing a beaver pelt. Trigoma, DanielofRedwall, and ToR come along hauling a giant Christmas tree, and with the report that Matthias720 has fallen in love with a beaver. Explain yourselves!'

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

ToR patted down his twigy beard.
"O'erlady, madam, I can report! We arrived at the Beaver HQ quite a few months ago, in a forest of giant trees. We were given a bulldozer free of charge, and told we would have to smash it by ourselves. Trigoma planted explosives, ignoring the word 'smashed' and blew it up. Angered, the beavers then teleported us all to different foreign worlds. Me, Trigoma and DanielofRedwall however met up only a week later, and formulated a plan to unite and return, knowing no matter what, we had to return to you. It took almost an entire year to find the other three, first Bragoon, now a very rich and successful shoe polish salesman, on Mars, where the residents enjoy it as a delicacy. Second, we found Matthias. We promptly left when a beaver warlordess showed up. We knew the beaver who re-teleport us all. Musician was a bloodthrity savage when we found her, having hunted over three thousand beavers. She was friendly though and cut down a Christmas tree for us. We all celebrated in the forest that night, telling each other our stories. I am unsure how Matthias arrived back here. However, right before we prepared to return to you, under my excellent planning, Trigoma betrayed us all in a great atrocity of the highest malovelence and minimized us. I built a ray that enlarged us. Big again, we returned here after about a year's absense."
Finished with his report, ToR began eating a plate of imperishable lasagna with egg rolls on the side.

[DanielofRedwall]

OOC: I know it doesn't really matter much now, but last round Trigona did contradict me. I said I let go of the money after being tackled, he said I just gave him the money. Anyway...

BIC: "Trigoma certainly did make a terrible misjudgement when he blew up the bulldozer, but might I say it wasn't all his fault (although it mostly was). Trigoma really should learn sarcasm. Bragoon joked about blowing it up, but Trigoma obviously took him seriously." Daniel promptly started whistling an Armish tune which had been stuck in his head ever since the Beavers teleported him to an Armish town.

[Matthias720]

"M'lady, if I may interject. The reports of my infatuation with a beaver have been somewhat exaggerated. While I was with the beavers for a long time (about eight months), it was completely against my will. I was brainwashed with a neuro-toxin, leaving me open to the power of suggestion. I had no control over myself for most of my captivity. If it wasn't for the others, I would probably be there still. The strangest thing was, just before I was kidnapped, I thought I saw Bragoon conversing with a beaver, but I'm not sure. Everything from that time is fuzzy. Apologies for once again failing you m'lady."

[Bragoon]

"Milady, it really does taste good!  But only after you've been stranded on a world made of shoe-polish for eighteen months with nothing to eat but the surprisingly nutritious planet itself.  It was no joke at all, I suggested that we use the smallest of charges placed at strategic points along the hull of the bulldozer in order to batter it sufficiently, but not badly.  But Trigoma took it much too far and used a very much larger charge than I had suggested, and doomed us all to our fates. I attempted to reason with the beavers before they teleported me, and talk them into providing me with another bulldozer the bring to you, My Queen, but they would not listen.  When the beavers transported me to the shoe-polish planet, I was stuck there for eighteen months while I constructed a ship from the shoe-polish.  When I had finally finished constructing my ship, I piloted it back towards Earth, but my ship was caught in Mars' gravity field, and my already weak ship was smashed on the surface of the planet.  I decided to attempt to sell my services as a shoe-shiner to the local population, but all they wanted to do was to eat my supply, so I elected to sell them the remaining shoe-polish so that I could buy parts to build a ship strong enough to carry me back to the Beavers' headquarters so that I could retrieve another bulldozer.  I had been there for two days and had just finished buying the parts for my ship when ToR and his compatriots found me.  I concur with the rest of ToR's account, Mistress, but I would like to add that if I had not contributed some of the parts that I had purchased from the Martians, it would have taken us much longer to construct the enlarging ray."

[Trigoma]

OOC: Correction Daniel, I said "But i watched as the money slipped from his grasp". Therefore it was still in your possession. I never took the money.

BIC: Ah yes milady, sarcasm is a cruel thing for sure. But is it my fault that I did not fully understand his plan? When he said to place small "charges", he did not clarify "how many" charges to lay down. If it was not for a glitched plan, there would be a bulldozer to this very day, and we would not have been gone for so long.
       As for me "betraying" the group. It was on there foolish alliance they made with a crazed Redwall Musician. Musician had rigged the Christmas Tree with some sort of pine smelling confusion aroma. It caused me to temporarily loose control of all consciousness, and made me go crazy. It was then that I used my strong mental powers to pull myself together, and lead us all back safely to this office, with a special gift for you. This Christmas Tree!

[Redwall Musician]

OCC: Great, now I'm a savage hunter person.

"You can plainly tell that Trigoma has never been in the wilderness that long. The aroma he smelled was none other the the natural perfume from my friend, Scotty the Skunk! Being around such smells for so long, I didn't realized that it smelled that bad." Musician sniffed the air. "I think you have rats somewhere nearby. I can smell something. I would be able to smell better if it wasn't for all that soap." Everyone had agreed that Musician had to get cleaned up. So she had used two bottles of soap.

[DanielofRedwall]

OOC: Yes, Trig, but you said I paid straight up. "he took out the money and begin to place it in the hands of the bowtie shop owner". I said I accidentally let go of the money and it landed in his pay owl thing.

BIC: "The disappearance of the washing liquid is pretty much all Matthias' fault. I don't know by he did it, but just before Trigoma blew up the bulldozer, he threw the bottle of liquid threw the window and in to the driver's seat. It blew up with the bulldozer. We managed to save a sample, but Musician used it as toothpaste after we told we to clean up."

[Trigoma]

OOC: You never gave the money to the owner, it fell in the Bowl so you could win the gold fish. "But i watched as the money slipped from his grasp, and into the contestants bowl."

[DanielofRedwall]

OOC: Sorry, I misread a sentence in your first paragraph. Sorry.

[Tiria Wildlough]

'Alright, alright. You can stop your pathetic excuses now.
'Matthias720, when I hired you and your colleagues, I hired you all because your brains could not be washed. I think I was less thorough when doing the tests for you, Matthias.
'In case you have any trouble later on, drink this. It's anti-brainwashing potion.' The Overlady tossed him a small bottle.
'Now for the rest of you. Trigoma, if you have trouble understanding people, ask them what you want to know. You were extremely foolish.'
The Overlady pulled a small bomb from her pocket. She lit the fuse, and tossed it out the door. Then she said 'Fetch!'
Trigoma ran out the door to get the bomb. He didn't come back.
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OOC: Remaining players:
1. Redwall Musician
2. ToR
3. DanielofRedwall
4. Matthias720
5. Bragoon

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The Overlady's Death-Defying Beaver museum was nearly finished. She had finally found a battered flying bulldozer to use as the centrepiece, and the only thing she needed now was a real death-defying beaver to hand out brochures.
'Go to the beaver HQ and tell a beaver named Kogle that the Overlady says he can have one of her special egg roll packages if he comes over here to hand out brochures for a week.' said the Overlady to her five servants.
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Two weeks later, the Overlady surveyed the ruins of the death-defying beaver museum that she had worked so hard to put together. Kogle the beaver had fled long ago, clutching his salary of egg rolls.
She turned to her nervous servants. 'How did you manage to blow up my death-defying beaver museum?' she yelled. 'And why did you come home leading the whole beaver horde? Spit it out!'