Corrupt-a-Wish

[Delthion]

Granted, all of the games now come with Elder Version®! This means that you have two available presets for all characters, the original, and the aged up ones in their 70s. Unfortunately, the older characters are never made compatible with emulators, locking you out of any fast forward function, and the speech text rolls across the screen at half speed so their older players can catch up. It now takes four times as long to beat each of the games with the elder characters.

I wish that I could change the ending of season two of Arcane.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, it na' endz viz Pikachu comin' in und eatin' everyvone.

Ah vizh zey 'ad blue lemonz.

[Delthion]

(Hey that might be an improvement. )

Granted! They are so moldy that they have a blue-ish hue!

I wish that we had developed faster than light travel!

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but ze zpeed o' loight iz zloved doon tae ze point o' vone metre every zree yearz.

Ah vizh little Timmy vid ztop favin' doon ze auld vell av ze toime.

[Delthion]

Granted! He only falls once and breaks his legs so he is stuck there forever!

I wish for better internet.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ze internet zudddenly becomez majorly better, but ye juzt lozt accezz tae it und completely mizz oot on av ze majornezz.

Ah vizh Ah could put bookcazez on ze ceilin' via manipulated gravity.

[Delthion]

Granted! The bookcases are on the ceiling but unfortunately the manipulated gravity applies to things oddly: the bookcases float, but other things, namely books in this situation are made much heavier leading to all the books in the world being immovable.

I wish for more magic spoon cereal.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but av o' yer cereal bovlz- includin' any ye moight get later on- break intae piecez preventin' ye from eatin' ze cereal.

Ah vizh fer more Fizh.

[Delthion]

Granted! The entirety of the ocean is stuffed with fish so that the oceans double in depth destroying us all!

I wish for a Gamebird Composites GB1

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ye na' 'ave vone ze zize o' yer zumb zat playz 'Tvinkle Tvinkle Little Ztar'.

Ah vizh fer a zandvich.

[Delthion]

Granted! You have a sandwich of sawdust and carpenter ants between two slices of limestone!

I wish I could bench 405 lbs.