Corrupt-a-Wish

[Hickory]

Granted! However, you happen to be a police robot from the terrible film CHAPPiE and are immediately gunned down and deactivated by the rebels/criminals. End of story.

@banya Nice wildcat reference.

I wish I could have as much RP activity as I wanted.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You make a RP where you're the only player, playing all the characters. You can post on it all day, every day. You're not allowed to post your RP topic in the RP forum; some pretentious overbearing moderator moves it to Fan Fiction, but who cares? You know what it really is.

I wish that I had minions.

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, but they get fed up with doing what you tell them to do and attack. You try to run, but there is no escape. They capture you and force you to work for them the rest of your life. You build houses, cook, and garden for them. One day, you are building a mansion when you get an idea. In the mansion is a secret room that only you know about, and when it is done, you hide inside of it. Unfortunately they unknowingly place a bookshelf over the door, and you can't get out that way. You find another way out and manage to run away into the city. You don't look where you're going and get run over by a car.

I wish that I was rich.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You have a huge money vault, like Scrooge McDuck, and love nothing more than diving into your massive piles of gold coins, gems, and assorted monies. Unfortunately, one day you accidentally lock the vault door behind you. You're the only one who knows the combination to get in, and there's no way of opening the vault door from the inside. You don't have a phone on you, as you delegated the phone-operating to a servant, and the vault's walls are so thick that nobody would hear you if you knocked or screamed. You would trade all of your money for an exit, but there's none to be found.  So, you suffocate on top of your immense fortune.

I wish that I could create things by saying out loud that I wished they existed.

[FastFang]

Granted

but by doing this you annoy everyone around you and you have a very loud voice so at least 10 people can hear what you are wishing.

After a while You may get rejected by the majority of the world population and you may end up wishing out loud that you could create things by saying out loud that you wished they existed.

this will create a universe paradox and destroy the law of physics. Time no longer exists. space no longer exists. I hope you regret what you have wished



I wish I could make it rain (make money rain)

[James Gryphon]

Granted. A huge cloud raining money appears over your house and showers down all types of money -- dollar bills, gold and silver coins, and Rai stones from Micronesia. You and your house are both crushed under the weight. On the bright side, all your neighbors are able to get enough money from your house's ruins to pay off all of their bills.

I wish that I could create and decreate unbreakable force-fields.

[Skyblade]

Granted, but they always appear/disappear on the other side of the galaxy.

I wish my room was the coolest room in the house, but not that cold.

[James Gryphon]

Granted! Your room is extremely cool, the coolest room ever, with lots of hi-tech gizmos, old and new computers (including a mainframe!), a 3D printer, and a levitating bed! Unfortunately, the temperature and noise level in your room are so high from all the stuff that's running and producing heat that you can never get any sleep, even with everything set on silent and all of the covers off. You end up having to sleep on the living room couch, and instead use your bed to store your collection of high-powered laser pointers, light-up prop lightsabers, and 1,000 classic sci-fi and fantasy books, each signed and annotated by their authors. It's worth mentioning that your room is now the Mecca of all geeks, and your phone, email box, and real mail box are constantly flooded with requests from people to visit.

I wish that I could load different personalities into my mind, and use any of them at will.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. The different personalities become jealous of each other, though, and soon your mind becomes a battleground of personality, with multiple personalities randomly taking over now and then. Your family think you've gone insane.

I wish I had clones that would do all my work.

[Hickory]

Granted! You contact the Kaminoans to create a literal army of clones, all identical and carrying weapons. You are unable to to keep it a secret, and soon millions of SW fans are crowding your house, wanting to get a look at Jango Fett and his clones. You are forced to deploy your clones as a security force. Because they are amazing and are just money makers, world businesses are almost bankrupt. To get business back, the pool their funds and hire several robot manufacturers to create a Seperatist army. The war rages between clones and droids, and eventually the droids assasinate you as the clone leader. Because the war is ravaging the entire planet, the clones and droids are sent to th moon to battle as they wish. The droids activate a mega-ton bomb, destorying the surface of the moon, and making meteors destroy the human population. In underground bunkers, your son and a single woman are stuck there. Since she is annoyed at you and your son for killing off all her friends and family, she attacks and kills you. She no longer is able to reproduce, never having a sppouse, so the human race dies out, becase of you.

However, the clones on the moon are still alive, so their next mission is to colonize Earth. 

I wish I had a Tesla automobile.

[James Gryphon]

Granted! Someone looks through the late Nikolai Tesla's papers, and discover plans for an automobile that he designed. You buy one of these, confusing it with the car released by "Tesla Motors". Unfortunately, while Mr. Tesla was in many ways a brilliant inventor, he knew nothing about cars, and it shows. It is in many ways inferior to the Model T. Its saving grace is that it runs on steam power. But, the engine is very finicky, and requires distilled water to function well. You don't know this, and put ordinary tap water in it. You putter along at 40mph (your top speed), with no air conditioning, thinking about how much money you're saving by using water instead of gasoline, when suddenly your engine dies. You go to open the hood, forgetting the requirement that the car hood be left down for thirty minutes after stopping. The last thing you see before a massive blast of boiling water ends your life is all the minerals, gunk and junk that got burned into the engine's works.

I wish that we had teleporters (teleporters that don't break down your molecules and reassemble them).

[Izeroth]

Granted! You contact the Kaminoans to create a literal army of clones, all identical and carrying weapons. You are unable to to keep it a secret, and soon millions of SW fans are crowding your house, wanting to get a look at Jango Fett and his clones. You are forced to deploy your clones as a security force. Because they are amazing and are just money makers, world businesses are almost bankrupt. To get business back, the pool their funds and hire several robot manufacturers to create a Seperatist army. The war rages between clones and droids, and eventually the droids assasinate you as the clone leader. Because the war is ravaging the entire planet, the clones and droids are sent to th moon to battle as they wish. The droids activate a mega-ton bomb, destorying the surface of the moon, and making meteors destroy the human population. In underground bunkers, your son and a single woman are stuck there. Since she is annoyed at you and your son for killing off all her friends and family, she attacks and kills you. She no longer is able to reproduce, never having a sppouse, so the human race dies out, becase of you.

However, the clones on the moon are still alive, so their next mission is to colonize Earth.  

I wish I had a Tesla automobile.

There are so many logical inconsistencies with that paragraph that it makes my eyes burn.

Granted! Someone looks through the late Nikolai Tesla's papers, and discover plans for an automobile that he designed. You buy one of these, confusing it with the car released by "Tesla Motors". Unfortunately, while Mr. Tesla was in many ways a brilliant inventor, he knew nothing about cars, and it shows. It is in many ways inferior to the Model T. Its saving grace is that it runs on steam power. But, the engine is very finicky, and requires distilled water to function well. You don't know this, and put ordinary tap water in it. You putter along at 40mph (your top speed), with no air conditioning, thinking about how much money you're saving by using water instead of gasoline, when suddenly your engine dies. You go to open the hood, forgetting the requirement that the car hood be left down for thirty minutes after stopping. The last thing you see before a massive blast of boiling water ends your life is all the minerals, gunk and junk that got burned into the engine's works.

I wish that we had teleporters (teleporters that don't break down your molecules and reassemble them).

Granted. You teleport into a volcano and experience the most painful five minutes of your life. (Also the last five minutes of your life)

I wish I had a pizza right now.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. This pizza is very special; it is covered with infinity peppers, Carolina reapers, and ghost peppers, and "pepper spray" sauce that is made from pure capsaicin. You eat one slice of it, and your world is lit on fire. You scream and beg for your family and friends to "end the pain". One of them secretly hates you, and, annoyed by your screaming, they kill you.

I wish that the moon was habitable and was blue and green instead of grey.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. The fact that it is inhabitable has made it a hotspot for tourism, however, and The Moon's surface quickly becomes covered with dirty roads and ugly hotels.

I wish I had a glass of clean, entirely normal water.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but someone comes along and says, "Oh, is that for me? Thank you," and takes it right out of your hands and drinks it.

I wish that I didn't have any rashes on my skin.