My brother's Hobbit crackfic

[Cornflower MM]

Hahahahahaha! That puddle thing. . . . . Heeheeehee!

[Jukka the Sling]

Thanks for reviewing! He loves it whenever he gets one.

Chapter Seven

While they were about to be eaten by the spiders Tauriel threw tons of her Elvish daggers at all of them!

Legolas was awesomized by Tauriel's epicness.

So all the spiders died! Legolas was so awesomized that he fainted!

"Why do you keep fainting!" screamed Tauriel.

"Partly because of the spiders and you," said Gandalf.

"Oh," said Tauriel.

The next day Legolas and Tauriel were gazing at each other! Because they were so in love.

This is what Legolas thought about Tauriel. He thought that her epic Elvish eyelashes were like beautiful sunflowers in the spring!

Tauriel thought Legolas was like a beautiful little Elvish cloud in the sky!

As they were thinking this it started to rain!

"Oh, come on!" shouted Legolas. "I was just thinking about how awesome Tauriel is!"

Legolas started to cry. "Oh, what is the meaning of life and death?!" he screamed.

"Oh shut up!" yelled Radagast. "You're the dumbest Elf I've ever met!"

"We have to find shelter!" screamed Gandalf.

"Oh, you all be quiet!" shouted Tauriel.

"All of you guys are crazy!" screamed Legolas.

"I'm not a guy!" yelled Tauriel.

Just then, Legolas got struck by lightning. After that it calmed everybody down.

The next day Legolas and Tauriel were so tired that Radagast and Gandalf had to carry them!

"What's that stench?" shouted Radagast.

"It's probably that thing you're carrying," replied Gandalf.

"What thing?!" saked Radagast.

"The Elfling, of course!" screamed Gandalf.

"Oh," replied Radagast. "But I thought Elves always had showers! Don't they?!"

The next day Legolas, Tauriel, Radagast, and Gandalf were so hungry that they had to eat deadly berries!

After they ate them they instantly collapsed! For a really long time.

While they were sleeping some random Orcs came and captured them!

After the Orcs got to their little Orc town, they all woke up tied to poles!

"Oh, this is just great!" screamed Legolas.

While they were tied up a little Orc brought them some mashed lima beans!

"Oh, get away!" screamed Tauriel.

"Oh, be quiet!" shouted the Orc.

[Mhera]

I am awesomized by this story. Really, it's great!

[James Gryphon]

They sure do scream, yell and shout a lot.

[Wylder Treejumper]

Well, Legolas is pretty wimpy...

[Delthion]

He thought that her epic Elvish eyelashes were like beautiful sunflowers in the spring!

Nice compliment, I'll need to remember this one.

*Waits for Soren to descend on thread.*

[Lady Amber]

Tauriel and Legolas seem to yell at each other a lot, even though they're in love.
Anyway, this is really funny!

[Jukka the Sling]

He thought that her epic Elvish eyelashes were like beautiful sunflowers in the spring!

Nice compliment, I'll need to remember this one.

*Waits for Soren to descend on thread.*

Soren isn't reading this...

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Awesomized.

[Cornflower MM]

Heeheehee! *Clutches ribs* Oh, hahahaha! Good job, Jukka's little brother! This is awesome and funny!

[Jukka the Sling]

Chapter Eight

While Tauriel and the Orc were screaming and shouting at each other Legolas jumped out of the rope epically and killed the Orc!

Just then tons of other Orcs popped into the room!

"Ok, we're dead," said Tauriel.

As they were killing the Orcs a cave troll popped into the room!

"They have a cave troll," said Legolas.

So he jumped on its head and shot 24 arrows into it!

It instantly fell dead.

"Well, that's the end of that," said Tauriel.

When all the Orcs were dead they had only one thing left to do: go back into the woods!

"Ok, come on everybody," said Legolas. "Let's go back into the woods."

"Why do we have to go in the woods anyway?!" screamed Tauriel.

"Yeah!" replied Gandalf.

"Well, I don't know!" shouted Legolas. "We could go to Lake-town this time!"

"Well, that's fine with me!" said Radagast.

"Well, ok then!" screamed Legolas.

The next day when they were just about to cross the lake Legolas remembered something - they didn't have a boat!

"Um... guys!" shouted Legolas, "...and girl... in case you didn't notice, we don't have a boat!"

"Oh, yeah!" replied Radagast. "How did we miss that?!"

"Anyway," said Legolas, "we have to make a boat! So get to work!"

"Whatever," replied Radagast.

Ten months later the boat was finished!

So they paddled away in the tiny little boat that was about two feet long!

"Ah, this is the life!" said Legolas. "Right, Tauriel?"

"What are you talking about?!" she screamed. "I can hardly fit my Elvish legs in here!"

"Yeah!" shouted Gandalf. "I can hardly fit my Maia legs in here!"

"Me too!" yelled Radagast

"Oh, shut up!" screamed Legolas.

Just then they heard something in the boat. "What's that?" asked Tauriel.

"She's sprung a leak!" shouted Gandalf

"Who's she?" screamed Tauriel.

"The boat, of course!" yelled Gandalf.

"Oh, I get it!" said Tauriel. "The boat sprung a leak!"

"Help!" screamed Legolas. "My Elvish boots are geting wet!"

Immediately the boat started sinking, so they had to swim the rest of the way.

[Wylder Treejumper]

Wow. Your little brother knows Gandalf and Radagast are Maiar. That's impressive...

[Jukka the Sling]

Um, are you suggesting that I wrote this and am passing it off as my brother's? 'Cause the reason he knows this is because every time I learn some new LotR fact, I generally tell any family member who'll listen. Thus, basically my entire family (even my parents, who aren't that into LotR) knows that Gandalf and Radagast are Maiar.

[Wylder Treejumper]

No, no, don't be ridiculous. I wasn't trying to imply anything. I was simply commenting on that fact. I didn't even know the wizards were Maiar for quite a while. Besides, I know you wouldn't do anything like that.

[Jukka the Sling]

'Kay. Sorry.