Overlord's Orders XV

[Jukka the Sling]

Firstly, the reason I said that the Deathnote is completely legal is because it is legal.  I have a very good smartphone that always gives me the latest international news, and by the time Mhera showed up with a Deathnote, I had seen that the U.N. had just ratified a new law that made Deathnotes completely legal and furthermore stated that they were perfectly safe for use by responsible people.  (But the news article also warned that the small number of Deathnotes that were made in China might not work correctly and could just render the people unconscious instead.)  Anyway, I told Mhera that they were legal.

Secondly, I gave Mhera the briefcase and asked her to give it to Izzy because that morning soon after the Apple store opened for the day, a man with dark sunglasses and a black suit showed up and handed me the briefcase, telling me to give it to Mhera and tell her to give it to Izzy.  He said it had a super-secret plan in it for Izzy to follow on the next mission.

"Who are you?" I inquired.

"I'm one of Overlord Soren's bodyguards," he replied.

"How do I know you're not just some guy posing as the Overlord's bodyguard?"

In answer, he pulled out a very official-looking badge that said his name was "John Smith" and that he had become your bodyguard in April 2015.  With such irrefutable evidence staring me down, I thanked him for the briefcase and followed his instructions.

[Skyblade]

"Now that Mhera clarifies some details, things are starting to make more sense. Sir Soren, I need to tell you more about my story.

She and I were playing a Nerf gun war. However, I truly thought she was planning to literally kill me. You see, sir, Izeroth took one of Mhera's Nerf guns and walked up to me mid-game.

"What are you doing?" I queried.

"Sky, Mhera is planning to kill you," he told me solemnly.

"Of course she is," I said, grinning, "She's going to kill me in the Nerf gun game. It's not real."

"No, Skyblade! She really is aiming to kill you. I assure you this is true."

"I doubt it, Iz," I said prudently. "I don't think she would do that to me."

Izeroth started to get angry then, and he said fervently, "You don't believe me? Let me prove it." He lifted one of Mhera's bona fide Nerf guns she had been using and pointed it at a random person. He shot it before I could stop him, and the person dropped dead.

I gasped, horrified. Before I could stop him, Izeroth rapidly fired at other people and killed them too.

"See? She wants to kill you for real with this gun. She even told me."

Not until years later did I find out that Izeroth had lied and deceived me somehow. He must have used his magician skills to kill those people using Mhera's gun even though originally the toy had been benign and harmless as she had meant it.

My dad found out and said I should stay in my house and get ninja cats to protect me. So, I did. Every time I thought the coast was clear, I would get a call.

Mhera's voice, pitch-perfect, through the phone: I'm coming to kill you right now - literally kill you. I have my poison Nerf guns and an evil heart.

Anyone who receives a call like that has reason to be careful.

Anyway, things make a lot more sense now that Mhera admits that she didn't want to kill me. I didn't know at that time, but somebody had imitated her voice perfectly through the phone. The only two people in the universe who can imitate a voice like that are Izeroth (because he's a magician) and Jukka (because Izeroth taught her ten years ago). So it must have been one or maybe both of them who called me and deceived me.

Now, I can see why Izeroth had to change the employees' names if there was a special sorcerer Summer Solstice thing going on which I don't know about. However, did he really have to change the names to the exact ones in the Deathnote? He must have seen the names somehow and made the people in their change their names deliberately. It couldn't have been a coincidence that he made those people change their names to the exact ones in the Deathnote. He knew the consequences, so I don't know why he was doing that. The manager and many of the people he made change their names are not even evil sorcerers, only a few of the people were. They were good and morally righteous sorcerers and shouldn't have been killed.

Also, just to make it clear, I had nothing to do with the briefcase the others are talking about. I have no idea what they're talking about."

[Izeroth]

 I told Sky that Mhera was planning to kill her because, earlier that day, Mhera had informed me of her intent to do just that. When I inquired how she planned to do this, she told me she was going to enchant her gun with a killing spell. I volunteered to enchant my own gun and help her (I was planning to secretly warn Skyblade about it and thwart Mhera's plan), and Mhera gladly accepted.

Anyway, about midway through the nerf battle, Mhera flashed me a vicious smile. I assumed that this meant she was going to execute the plan. I ran to Sky to tell her of the plot. As I was trying to explain the imminent danger, I noticed several robed fellows looking at me. Judging by the markings on their robes, I discerned that they were assassins sent to kill me by the Viceroy of Raga-Dol(It's a long story). Seeing a convenient opportunity for demonstration, I blasted the would-be assassins with one of the magical guns. Afterwards, I explained that the people I had blasted were evil, but I don't think Skyblade even listened to me. I would later find out that Mhera had been joking about killing Skyblade the whole time, but that she thought my little magic-death trick was "hilarious".

As for the deathnotes, I had good reason to believe that everyone I killed was evil. All the sorcerers (including the manager) were convicted of murder by the Sorcery Summit of 1912. (I believe they helped sink a ship, or something), and several of the sorcerers had tried to kill me in the past. If the manager and the others were really "good and morally righteous", the judges who convicted them have some explaining to do.

I was not responsible for the phone call; it must have been Jukka.

[Mhera]

Sir, I'm no sorcerer, and I had no idea at the time that Iz was one either. I did know, however, that he was interested in magic, and since he was looking bored and lonely on one of the days Sky and I were playing I decided to try and interest him in Nerf wars. The first time I asked if he wanted to play he looked really shy and said no, so I brought up magic to see if that could draw him out of his shell. It seemed to work as he joined the game after I mentioned killing spells. He started going on and on about choosing which killing enchantment he would use, which I thought that was kind of strange, but didn't say so as I didn't think he was actually capable of it. I was just happy he finally seemed to be enjoying himself. When he later told me about how he killed a bunch of evil sorcerers with his Nerf gun and a spell (I wasn't present when he did the deed) he looked so pleased with himself I just laughed and tried to humor him, figuring his imagination had got the better of him that day. So you see sir, I had no knowledge of the misunderstanding that was between Iz and I.

As for the vicious smile, that was actually normal for me at the time. That game took place before I had braces; all my smiles looked vicious back then. I was grinning because I was enjoying myself, not to signal Sky's doom to Iz.

[Izeroth]

 Mhera failed to include several key details; allow me to explain:

I may have appeared to be "bored and lonely," but I was actually writing an important letter to a friend of mine. The first time Mhera asked me, I simply said no in a quiet, disinterested voice. After that, she began constantly pestering me, urging me to participate and even trying to lure me in with the promise of killing magic. I finally gave in and decided to play the game, if only to stop Mhera's annoying comments.

In a "briefing" before the game, Mhera told me that she planned to kill Skyblade. She said this with the utmost seriousness, so I could only assume she was being literal. I decided to act really dedicated to sorcery so she wouldn't question my loyalty (she had stated earlier, very clearly, that traitory would not go unpunished)

[Skyblade]

"I had nothing to do with whatever Izeroth and Mhera are talking about regarding killing me. I didn't do anything to provoke them to do what they did, either. All I know is that Iz told me Mhera was planning to kill me.

Oh, and when Izeroth explained that he was killing evil people with the Nerf gun, I didn't catch what he said. You see, this is exactly how he told me:

"So, I just shot and killed those people andbythewaythey'reevil."

"What did you say?" I asked, because he finished the sentence in half a second. "I didn't hear that last part."

But we were interrupted by the police coming to see what was going on. Therefore, I didn't know that detail until now."

[Mhera]

I didn't see Iz writing the letter, and I didn't know I was annoying him. I just figured he was being shy.

And about the briefing... given the context in which I said we were going to kill Sky I didn't realize I needed to clarify that I was being figurative; it seemed obvious that I didn't really mean it given we were talking about Nerf wars.

I was being serious because in a previous match Sky informed I sound like a psychopath when I talk too lightheartedly about killing people, even if it is only in the context of a game.

Also, since we were on the same team, if he betrayed me Iz would be severely handicapped in his ability to win the game; the possibility of losing is the punishment for betrayal I was talking about.

[Skyblade]

"She did sound like a psychopath. However, I told her to be more serious only when she was talking to me. I told her she didn't have to be more serious when she talked to others. The most important thing, I said, is that they clearly got the correct message she wanted to get across as to prevent confusion."

[Jukka the Sling]

Contrary to what Izzy said, I was not the one who made the phone call.  You see, over the past few years, I've been teaching my eight-year-old niece, Esmeralda (who was adopted by myself and my husband, Matt Damon) how to imitate voices.  She has a wicked sense of humor, and she knows who Mhera and Skye are, as they've visited us once or twice.  Therefore, I think it must have been my dear little Esme who made the call.  It wouldn't be the first time she's pranked someone.

[Skyblade]

OOC: Claimed post

IC: Sir, I want to justify my getting the ninja cats - just to make things clear. You see, I was completely unaware of any conversations between Mhera and Izeroth. All I knew was that Mhera was planning to kill me and had the proper weaponry to do so (as I found out way later, I was deceived). My father, upon hearing that somebody was trying to kill me, freaked out. And for good reason, I must say. He commanded me to get the ninja cats to protect myself, highly recommending them. Since he was making a legal suggestion and is a moral person, it was fine. And as I am his daughter and he is my parent, I was obliged to obey anyway.

What happened at the Apple Store was not my fault, but the result of things that occurred among your other servants.

Also, I want to point out sonethingg regarding what Izeroth said. He claimed that every worker in the store, including the manager, is evil. Maybe a few of them were, but I know the manager and the great majority of them are not. Yes, they murdered people and helped sink a ship, but I think Izeroth missed some crucial details. The people they murdered were actually toy figurines, and the ship they sunk was a toy boat. Sir Soren, as it turns out, they entered a toy boat racing competition a few years back. However, they got disqualified by the judges (who were from the Sorcery Summit of whatever year it was) for accidentally killing the toy people they were supposed to carry safely across the basin. It was a blunder on their part, but nothing illegal or malicious. In fact, it was even confirmed by the real USA government that the manager is a honorary hero of the country (in a good way, of course).

Also, let's use some logic here. Why would you, Overlord Soren, send us to work at an Apple Store where the manager and all his employees were evil? You are far better than to make that mistake. That isn't at all something you would do, sir, and I know it. So, we can safely say that Izeroth's decision to ask the workers to change their names culminated in the deaths of innocent Apple workers.

Again, I had nothing to do with what Izeroth did.

[Mhera]

Sir, as Sky said the most important thing was that my meaning came across clearly; when she told me to only be serious with her Iz had not yet come into the picture. When I first approached him he seemed like the kind who appreciated seriousness more than humor, so I took the same tone with him as I did with Sky believing it would be the best shot at clearly conveying my intentions to Iz. Apparently I misjudged, sir, but I'm confident anyone would have made the same mistake if they had seen how deadpan Iz was being.

[Izeroth]

 I don't understand why Mhera is blaming me for misinterpreting her words. Earlier, after a different ill-dated prank, she had even told me that I would know when she was joking in the future.

Skyblade is correct in saying that the sorcerers sunk ships and drowned toy people. She fails to mention, however, that these were voodoo people. This means that, as the toy ship sank, a real ship sank. I don't know if the manager was aware that these objects were voodoo enchanted, and the act of destroying the ship in of itself was not malicious, but the manager nevertheless caused mass-destruction. As far as being "confirmed" to be good and righteous, I heard he bribed government officials to say that.

The reason we were sent to that Apple Store, as you must know, is that it was rated Apple Store of the year. However, these findings were later revealed to be falsified, as you also must know. Surely, you also remember how Skyblade pestered you to go to that particular store, and insisted that it was a wonderful establishment?

[Skyblade]

OOC: Hey Iz, clever response. This is so much fun!

IC:

"Sir Soren, I must inform you that the first time I ever knew about the voodoo thing or the apparent bribe of the government officials is when Izeroth himself said so just a few moments ago. Until then, I was left in the dark and all the information I had (which seemed credible), pointed to the Apple Store being a good place. Iz, Mhera, and Jukka were actually present at the boat race and knew all about the voodoo and bribery, but I didn't know a thing (actually, the three of them had gone to the boat race against your orders, taking a break when they were supposed to be running an errand for you that I ended up having to complete myself). I really thought that store was store of the year and it was declared falsified way later.

I recommended the store to you, sir, on the word of Jukka and Mhera, who insisted that all the workers there were of good heart. No double meanings, jokes, or opposites. They told me the workers and store were good and I should ask you if we could go there for a mission. I don't know why."

[Jukka the Sling]

You see, sir, I recommended the Apple store to Skye for two reasons:  1) Since we were supposed to buy you something from Apple, we might as well get a job there as well.  2) My cousin, Harrison, had worked at the Apple store for several years before retiring, and he was always singing its praises, saying that the people there were wondrously friendly and kindhearted.  I had no reason to disbelieve him.

[Mhera]

Sir, I'm not blaming Izeroth for my misunderstanding. I'm just saying his general demeanor makes it impossible to hold me responsible for it. Also, Iz failed to clarify that an "I'll-dated prank" (the kind he said I had pulled on him sometime before the Nerf wars briefing incident) involves telling people that they'll know when you're joking in the future. However, I very clearly told him an hour after I pulled it that what I had said was an I'll-dated prank. He said he understood the prank and thought it was funny (in his serious sort of way). Since I have not pulled the prank again on him and he made very clear that he understood I wasn't serious when I said he'd know when I was joking in the future, I'm not sure how he can still claim to have been under this deception.

I was merely going off of Jukka's suggestion regarding employment at the Apple Store.

It was Izeroth's suggestion we go to watch the boats against your orders. Sky said we all looked tired and like we could use a break, and then offered to run the errand herself. I disagreed, but the other three were on board with her plan; outnumbered, I reluctantly went with Iz and Jukka while Sky willingly started the chore. I'm not sure why she's accusing me of disobeying you when she supported the idea.

Finally, Jukka told me the voodoo and bribery thing was a storyline the race's directors had made up to generate interest the same way pro wrestling does. I didn't see anything indicating otherwise so I believed her.