Overlord's Orders XV

[Skyblade]

Skyblade raised a hand.

"Sir Soren, I have a few more clarifications for you. Mhera is right in that I didn't want my comic books ruined - reason being that they are incredibly valuable. I believe some people misunderstood. These comics are more than just a collection of stories; they contain timeless advice, all of which would benefit me. And by benefiting me, the tips would benefit others.

For instance, I have already mentioned that they contain many flute and piccolo playing tips. Thanks to all of these, I was able to give a great performance and raise a lot of money for your gift and repairs around our base (that the other servants had ruined).

Not only this, but they had advice for how to be a good servant for an Overlord. Clearly, the Overlord in mind is you, Sir Soren - nobody else.

In addition, they contained a section titled "Skills that will help you accomplish good and righteous things". I found good advice from here that is sure to assist me in future missions.

So, Mhera did indeed find a cover for me. I was a bit upset that she touched these books even though I had told everyone not to do so, but overall was okay since she had found a method of protecting them. Afterwards, I told EVERY SERVANT in a very clear and audible voice that even though my comic had a cover for a book about time-traveling guitars, it was still a comic book and they shouldn't take advice from it. Everyone heard me and said, "Okay Got it, Skyblade!"

As usual, I was working only to make this mission a success - never a failure."

[Jukka the Sling]

I said, "Okay. Got it, Skyblade!" out of habit (since Skye is frequently giving us advice that may or may not be helpful, and it had gotten a tiny bit annoying).  The fact was, at the time she said this, I only barely heard her, since I was listening to an enlightening lecture on my earbuds about how to please an Overlord.  Izeroth had recommended it to me, and though I was skeptical at first, given his strange and sometimes suspicious magic ways, I began listening to it and was pleasantly surprised.

[Skyblade]

Skyblade wore a slight smile as she listened to her comrade's justification. The grin faded as she turned back to the Overlord to be replaced with an expression of solemn gravity.

"Sir, I honestly don't know why Jukka is complaining about the vital advice I gave everyone. In reality, she and the other servants were the ones who requested constant tidbits of advice in the first place. Of course, I was willing to help them and told them what I believed would benefit us all in future missions. They weren't bad tips either - quite useful, for that matter. I figured this all would get annoying after a while, but I was acting out of what the others wanted.

It's good of Jukka to have been listening to a lecture regarding how to please an Overlord. However, I would like to point out that there is a right time for everything, and that time was not at all suitable. I had told everyone to please listen regarding the comic book, and that this was a truly important, high-priority thing to heed. Having given this special emphasis, I am not to blame. People should pay attention to whatever is significant. Ignorance is a hindrance."

[Jukka the Sling]

I only asked Skye for advice a couple of times.  The other questions were all asked by the others.  And I did not hear her when she asked us to listen because I was already listening to the lecture and could barely hear over it, as I said before.

OOC: I'm trying to respond in a way that won't require you to reply, Skye.

[Izeroth]

 Mhera did indeed wish for me to fall into the Bottomless Pit of Despair. Now, that would have been fine, but then James Gryphon wished for me to fall into the Bottomless Pit of Despair That No One Can Escape From. Jukka then wished for me to burst into flames, with Sky subsequently wishing me to be petrified. The only thing that saved me from these horrible fates, I believe, was the group getting into an argument over whether the Bottomless Pit was really bottomless.

[Søren]

Disgusted, Soren raised a hand. "Alright, you fools. You are all unhelpful, but one stands out especially. James Gryphon, you not only lit fire to the only item possible to keep this pathetic team together, but also wished for your own teammate's untimely demise. That's my job! You all have failed this mission, but one will not go on."
James disappeared from the platform.mHe started to reappear on one place, then to another. Never fully materializing, and constantly moving.
"Ah, yes. He'll make for a good book called Where's Gryfo? I've always wanted to try my hand at childrens book writing."
Soren turned to the others.
"Now, this next mission shouldn't be too hard, even for you. I need you to go to the nearest Apple Store, and buy me an Apple Watch. I've got my eye on one with the link band. I'm not trusting you with my money again, so you'll each have to take up jobs to raise the money yourselves. It's only $1200, so it shouldn't take too long."

Three weeks later...

"Well. What have I got to say?  Maybe I should point out how terrible you all were at your jobs! You all got fired! And someone caused the Apple Store to shut down due to "High theft rate" after it was robbed by four "masked people". EXPLAIN!"

[Skyblade]

OOC: I've planned out a fun post in advance and been looking forward to writing it.

IC: Sky raised a hand, nodded, and stepped forward. "Sir, let me give my perspective.

We did indeed get the jobs. Izeroth suggested that we steal the money from random strangers instead, but I told him, "No. That's morally wrong and we need to do this mission right for the Overlord. And that is by following his directions"

Anyway, Mhera became cashier, Izeroth was assigned to cleaning windows, Jukka organized things, and I helped answer people's questions about the store.

I don't know about the others, but I did great on my job - every question was answered impeccably.

We were on break when trouble started to stir.

"Hey, guys," said Mhera, pulling out a suspicious-looking black book, "I just bought this."

"What is it?" I asked, my skin tingling.

"It's called a Deathnote," replied Mhera cheerfully, as if the names wasn't depressing.

When I first heard the word Deathnote, I thought it might be a creepy piece of music or something. But Jukka proved otherwise.

"Oh I know those," she said nonchalantly, "If you write someone's name in it, that person dies, usually with a heart attack unless otherwise specified"

"What?" I said. I asked them what they were doing with this horrible Deathnote.

"We can kill innocent people with it," said Mhera morbidly.

"No," I said resolutely, "We are not killing innocent people."

I knew it would be a bad idea to keep that thing and tried to convince the others to see reason. But Izeroth said, "Maybe we should keep it just in case we need to kill someone evil" and Jukka said, "It'll be okay! Relax. Don't worry about it." I was outnumbered and nobody would listen to my rational advice. By then, the break had ended, and I had to go back to work or get fired.

It had been ten minutes when I heard a scream. Yes, I know what you are thinking.

"The manager has died from a heart attack!" another employee gasped, "He was just fine a moment ago, and then..." She burst into tears.

I ran to him and found him dead with his hand on his heart. More looking around and I found the horrid Deathnote.

In Mhera's handwriting it read, Louis Brough, the name of our manager. Our manager who I know was innocent and did nothing wrong. There were other names too, written by Mhera (and for some reason Jukka as well). All around the store, the innocent citizens they had named in the book fell in the places they stood, clutching their chests.

It was no coincidence.

"Why?" I whispered.

Just to make it clear, sir, I did absolutely nothing regarding the Deathnote other than hearing about it from the group earlier.

I immediately grabbed the Deathnote and threw it in the Bottomless Pit of Despair That Nothing Can Escape From, saving us all from potential future deaths.

I ran outside and saw Mhera and Jukka being kicked out of the store. "For murder, GET OUT!" I heard an officer say, "We spare you for being the Overlord's servants only!"

I thought I at least might have Iz to back me up. Then I saw him barrage through the side of the store with a car, destroying a big chunk that would cost millions to fix. He (who was wearing a mask, but I could still tell it was him) and three other masked people started stealing everything in the store. When I ran to stop him, he said, "I WILL rob this store!" and knocked me unconscious before I could do anything else.

I woke up here. I found out the store closed down from the murders and theft."

Skyblade started to shake. "It is a terrible story, but I know you trust me. I had nothing to do with the Deathnote or the theft. I was just doing my job and working for our success."

[Mhera]

Sir, you may or may not know that Sky is a former Crazy Cat Lady. I say "former" because 10 years ago, after having bought dozens of middle aged cats (cheaper than kittens) to feed her feline obsession, family members told her not to buy any more cats. She agreed, on the condition that she got to keep the ones she already had. Sky told us all of this before the mission, as she was aware that the cats were very old and unhealthy now. The vet had advised her to put a few down, but she couldn't bear to and so asked me to dispose of them. I agreed to do so, knowing what a hard and painful thing it must be for Sky to even think about. I asked for a list of the cats that needed to go. She said she'd get me one soon.

By this time she had already begun her job training. As someone who had to field many questions and know all the answers, the manager said she had to begin training early; this is why she was so good at her job, sir. In fact, Sky was the only one who received adequate training. Surely I can't be held responsible for the management's lacking employee training policies. I was essentially stuck behind the cash register without being told how to do my job right; I didn't even know the manager's name and the only other employees I knew were the other servants (cash register isn't great for meeting other coworkers, and I worked straight through breaks to earn the most money as soon as possible). Anyway, shortly after she had begun training Sky handed me a note and said, "These are the names of the cats that need to be put down. It would be nice if it were done tomorrow." I opened up the list and at the top (written in Sky's handwriting, just like the whole list was) was Louis Brough, plus a few other names. I folded the note up and went back to to work, not knowing Sky was essentially setting me up to be a murderer. Looking back now, it makes sense; she often complained about how annoying the manager was, plus a few repeat customers who continually bugged her with what she called "stupid questions." As you can guess, those customers names were also on the list.

Anyhow, I bought a Deathnote after work since Sky had asked for the deed to be done the next day. I showed it to the others and mentioned that we could kill people with it as a warning to them to be very careful with what they write. After Jukka explained to her what it was, Sky said, "We are not killing innocent people."

"Of course not," I answered. "Just the cats you gave me a list of. Your house is too far away to get to during this mission, so using this book I can do the deed from here."

"Ah, I see. Just...just make sure you go into the janitor's closet, away from the customers and manager, when you write in it. I don't want you to you to know you're kil- er, I don't want you to get distracted," Sky responded.

I did as she asked and went into the janitor's closet during break (the first time I took a break the whole mission, sir; I worked my hardest); there I wrote down all the names, spelling them just like Sky had. As soon as I was done Jukka bolted in and stole the book from, looking enraged and screaming "Some folks just need killin'!" She ripped the book from my hands and before I could stop her she knocked me out. The next thing I knew I was getting thrown out of the store and being called a murderer.

[Jukka the Sling]

The reason I was so nonchalant when explaining what a Deathnote was was due to the fact that I knew that Mhera would never use it for any evil purpose - just to put down Skye's cats.  After saying this, I realized it could also come in handy in an emergency, like, if a bunch of armed robbers entered the store.  Thus, I made no objection when Izzy suggested that we could use it to kill a bad guy, and I told Skye, "It'll be okay!  Relax.  Don't worry about it."

Later, however, when I was organizing a bunch of iPod touches (5th generation), Izzy (who should have been washing windows) crept up behind me.  I turned around and saw that he was wearing a black balaclava.  I instantly suspected that he was up to no good, and my fear was confirmed when he pointed a pistol at me and said, "Get me the Deathnote.  Now!"  Scared for my life, I did as he insisted.  I knew that Mhera was in the janitor's closet methodically killing cats with it, so I marched in there, grabbed the Deathnote off her (muttering "Some folks just need killin'!" under my breath about Izzy.  I did not actually mean it, but I was fearful of him and angry.), and walked out again.  As I left, I must have accidentally knocked over a heavy broom, and I think that's how Mhera became unconscious, because I heard a thump and a groan.  But I was in too much of a hurry to help her, 'cause I had to give the Deathnote to Izzy.

He was waiting right outside the janitor's closet, still with his gun trained on me.  I handed him the Deathnote, meanwhile pleading with him "not to kill a person".

Now, Izzy is an accomplished signature-forger, and I believe he wrote names in the book using my handwriting.  Therefore, none of this murder fiasco was my fault.

[Skyblade]

Sky crossed her arms, then quickly untangled them, fearing the posture may look irreverent. "Sir, I have clarifications to share.

I indeed bought dozens of cats. However, they were specially trained ninja animals who I got to help protect me. Raised in complete honor and integrity, these goodhearted living creatures were a source of great (and humane, of course) protection and saved my life a few times.

For ten years, Mhera threatened to kill me even though I had done nothing wrong. In fact, she deliberately attempted to do so multiple times - to the point that I had to do something for my security. My father suggested ninja cats, and I got them for this reason. Mhera is not the only one who called me "a crazy cat lady". I was derided for wanting to make a good decision that kept me alive. However, all these people ever did was insult me. They did not delve deeper, did not bother to understand why I did the things I did.

So, I did ask Mhera to put down the cats. However, the Deathnote was completely not my idea and not how I intended her to do the job. Everyone knows that Deathnotes are illegal and number three on the list of Top Ten Dangerous Items a sensible person should never ever use. Hence, I highly deprecated the use of Deathnotes, clearly highlighting the reasons against this. Nobody listened.

True, my house is far away, but I gave and told Mhera the perfectly ethical and functioning teleportation device for a reason. She could have killed the cats at my house very swiftly.

Now, since my cats were ninja warriors, they had human names. That wasn't my idea, they just came that way when I bought them a decade ago, and I couldn't change them. Now, let me make something very clear. At the time I gave Mhera the list, the manager and all the other people on the list I gave Mhera had completely and utterly different names. For example, the manager was called Bob. Not Louis Brough. And when I said this...

"Ah, I see. Just...just make sure you go into the janitor's closet, away from the customers and manager, when you write in it. I don't want you to you to know you're kil- er, I don't want you to get distracted," Sky responded.

I asked for privacy since technically the Deathnote is illegal and we could get in huge trouble if we were caught. As I mentioned earlier, I tried to convince everyone else not to use the Deathnote and immediately get rid of it. I even said, "Forget about it, Mhera. Put down the cats tomorrow. Just get rid of the Deathnote. You are endangering us all!"

Mhera shrugged and said she didn't care if we all got in trouble. Jukka and Izeroth agreed. Powerless, I said we should hurry and kill the cats, in that case, and get rid of the Deathnote right afterwards.

Also, I was about to say "I don't want you to know you're killing my favorite cat" but I stopped myself because I didn't want to say something emotional that might impede her from doing the job that had to be done.

Mhera assumed things and jumped to conclusions. I did not mean to murder innocent humans at all.

I let nobody except Mhera see the list, so only she and another servant can be responsible for what happened next. From what I discovered after the mission, Izeroth walked up to the manager and threatend him - at gunpoint - to change his name to Louis Brough. Terrified, the manager changed his name. Then, Iz forced other innocent people to change their names until every name on my list of cats was covered. Thus, when Mhera wrote those names...you know what happened.

I don't know how Izeroth get his hands on that list or why he did what he did. Ask Mhera or maybe Jukka, sir. Also, I didn't know about this at all until after the mission, but Mhera and Jukka did know that Izeroth made everyone change his or her name to the ones on the list and did nothing about it even though they could. While Mhera is true in that she didn't know the actual names themselves, she did know exactly what Izeroth did."

[Jukka the Sling]

Izeroth is a magician.  He told me once that a person's name is the key to unlocking their personality, and that with someone's name you can do interesting magic.  Because of this, when he went around forcing people to change their names, I didn't make the connection between his actions and the Deathnote.  (I wasn't present when he forced the manager at gunpoint to change his name to Louis Brough.  If I had seen that he was using a weapon to force people to obey, I would have been quite worried.  As it was, I only saw when he did it to two different women.  Those times he just flirted with them and charmed them into changing their names.)

[Skyblade]

OOC: Last minute revision

"Oh and also. My cats were old, so they weren't dangerous. Mhera could have gone to my house and killed them easily - they were not deadly."

[Mhera]

Mhera stepped forward.

"Overlord, I did try to kill Sky multiple times-in Nerf wars. That's the point of the game, to shoot the person with a dart and say you've killed them. She did the exact same thing to me too. I always played safely and by the rules and never endangered her or any of her friends and family. However, she eventually tired of playing the game. Instead of telling me she didn't want to play anymore (I would have stopped asking her to play if she'd said something) she got all worked up about how I wanted to kill her (again, I did, but only in a friendly Nerf war competition) and bought that completely unnecessary army of ninja cats. Obviously we worked it out over the years, as no one asks someone they think is trying to kill them to dispose of their body guards, but still. I'm a little surprised she warped that story so much.

I called her a crazy cat lady because 1) she is crazy (in a good way), 2) she owns a lot of cats, and 3) she is a lady. Nowhere in that definition is the reason for having so many cats taken into account; it was a fitting description of Sky, and every time I'd call her that she took no offense. She even has the phrase as part of her answering machine. Here, I'll play it for you."

Mhera took out her phone and called her colleague, asking her not to pick up. After a number of rings, a cheerful voice all recognized as Sky's came over the speakers: "Hey, this is Skyblade the crazy cat lady! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, I'm probably hanging out with my feline friends. You can leave a message after the beep!"

Mhera resumed speaking. "I have no idea why she is so offended now when she seemed so fine with the description then. Sure, some used it as an insult, but never me.

Sir, I suppose that Everyone does know that Deathnotes are illegal and on the list Sky mentioned; you see, Everyone is the name of the cat she talks to the most. I didn't know those things when I bought the note; however, I suspected them and asked Jukka if it was legal. She said it was, and not to let anyone tell me differently, which is why I didn't listen to Sky when she did indeed tell me differently.

As for the teleporter, I set it down for a moment to tie my shoes, and when I looked up it was gone. I suspect Izeroth stole it. I can't use what I don't have, and so had to figure out another way to put down Sky's cats.

When Sky tried to get me to put the cats down later, even saying that we were in danger, I figured she was just desperately trying to save the cats for another day. I know it's hard for a pet owner to know their cats are about to get put down, but putting it off sometimes only makes it worse. That's why I said I didn't care if I got in trouble; I would get in any amount of trouble for a friend, which is what I was prepared to do for Sky.

As Jukka said, Izeroth is a magician. He must have used magic to read the note in my pocket, as I never let him or anyone see it.

Finally, I did know that Izeroth was doing with the names; however, I didn't recognize that he was using the names on the list as he was butchering the pronunciation of each one (with Deathnotes, only the spelling matters). I figured he was just pulling a harmless prank."

[Izeroth]

While the evidence seems to mount against me, I'll make it very clear that none of this is my fault. First of all, when I suggested we could get the money from robbing innocent civilians, I was joking. I never imagined my associates would take the suggestion literally.

Earlier, Mhera had given me a briefcase containing a "super-secret plan" and told me to execute it on the next mission. I was confused and annoyed by Mhera's secrecy, but she insisted that it would all make sense in the end. The plan, which was incredibly elaborate, involved getting the deathnote, staging a psuedo-robbery, smashing a car through the store window, and pretending to be a rabid criminal. Naturally, I was worried all this would damage my reputation, but Mhera insisted that it would all be "cleared up" once the plan had been executed. I executed the plan, and you can see the result.

As for the little name changing incident, I did that because I knew that most of the people in the store (including the manager) were sorcerers (with special sorcerer names, of course), and, on the Summer Solstice (which happened to be the following day) their special sorcerer names would activate an ancient and powerful evil curse (I won't go into details, but it's scary stuff, trust me). I knew that they'd only be able to do it with magical names, and thus I forced them all to switch.

And, finally, about the whole "killing-people-with-deathnotes" thing... I was doing that to get rid of the evil sorcerors, who had uncovered my clever name-changing tricks and were about to strike me with magic. I never tried to forge Mhera's handwriting: it must have just looked that way.

[Mhera]

Sir, I gave Izeroth the briefcase because Jukka had asked me to give it to him; she also told me tell him it contained a super-secret plan he needed to follow on the next mission that would all make sense in the end. I had no idea what was in the briefcase or what the plan was about.