Overlord's Orders XVI

[Skyblade]

OOC; Ninja'd, but I don't mind it with your post

BIC: "What Rrrrr and Soren both say is true, Overlady. We were building the bunker exactly how you ordered, so there was no reason for us to be stopped. I also want to add that I saved Sor and R's lives because the metal cage we were trapped in was filled with poisonous gas. Thankfully, I was prepared and brought a neutralizer gas, which I sprayed and saved all of your lives with.

As for the cage, Soren said that he heard the Squirrel sisters talking about how they wanted to capture him, R, and me in a cage for a funny Youtube video so they could achieve Internet fame, and they didn't care if they ruined the mission to do it. Well, that happened.

The three of us rushed back ASAP but everything was already ruined when we returned, Overlady."

[Russa Nodrey]

OOC: Claimed post.

BIC: Most wonderful and smartest of Overladies, as Sky said the Squirrel Sisters did capture Sor, Sky, and R in a cage. However, by "Squirrel Sisters" Sky obviously means Jukka and Amber because while all this was happening I was dutifully carrying out my orders. In fact I made the whole vegetable garden by myself!

[Lady Amber]

Oh Overlady, the only reason I helped Jukka with the Youtube video was because she said that it would not delay us in our work and she would fix everything if something did happen. At first I refused, but eventually agreed, because she kept insisting I help her. Otherwise, I would never have done it.

Also, I had nothing to do with destroying the bunker; it was most likely the others who did that.

Anyway, I think I can explain the reason the semi smells like bacon. James, as everyone knows, has an obsession with bacon, and had been sitting in the back of the semi eating the afore mentioned meat. Well, he was back there, doing absolutely nothing, so I felt it my duty to ask him why he wasn't helping us. When I asked him, he just looked at me, and said, "I don't wanna work". Those were his actual words. So, yeah.

[James Gryphon]

"It isn't untrue that I'm lazy and obsessive, but that's irrelevant. When Amber asked "why wasn't I helping them", she wasn't complaining that I wasn't helping them with actual work, she was complaining that I wasn't helping them by playing the alphabet game that she and Izeroth were doing to pass the time on our way to the Home Depot. Whenever the truck was no longer in motion, I did more work than anybody else did. Of course I don't enjoy it, but these things need to get done."

"I am obsessed with bacon, in the sense that I can't stand it. Bad experience with pigs as a child. Well, Izeroth fancies himself as a psychologist, and he bought a pound of bacon. He thought that "therapy through exposure" was "necessary for restoring my emotional well-being". At his behest, I forced myself to gag down the bacon. It was the most nasueating experience I've had in my life. Afterwards I tried to open a window to get some fresh air, but Izeroth locked the windows and said that I needed to get used to the smell of bacon. That is why your Majesty's truck smells so awful."

"Once we got back with the supplies, Jukka said she had "discovered" that compost was helpful for gardens. I guess she didn't understand that compost is organic waste. She had a bunch of rubber tires, glass and plastic bottles, crushed aluminum cans, etc., and kept throwing them on the garden site. We tried to explain to her that her contributions weren't helping, but she pretended she didn't hear us."

"So, while Russa dug and planted seeds in the places Jukka hadn't messed up yet, the rest of us picked up the trash. We eventually managed to get the garden done (with Russa, as she said, technically having done all of the digging and planting, the rest of us being on cleaning duty). Right after the last seed was planted, a dump truck showed up and dumped everything inside it onto the garden! That is why it is as you see it today. It should still be serviceable, though, once all this trash is picked up, AGAIN."

"The tent was Izeroth's idea. He panicked when he realized that you were five minutes away from getting here and that the bunker wasn't even close to being done, so he put it up for your Majesty. It looked pretty pathetic, but none of us had the heart to tell him so. I don't know how the pythons got in there. They look kinda like Rrrrr's pet snakes, though."

[rrrrr]

"My pet snake is a rattlesnakee that is not found in this region. However, James might have put them there to frame me since everyone knew that I kept a pet snake. Besides, there were two, and I only have one."

[James Gryphon]

"Oh, for crying out loud; aren't we paranoid today? I said they looked like yours, not that you put them there. As far as how many snakes you have, is it my fault if I got the number wrong? After all, Jukka kept going on and on about your "two snakes" the other day, and I never heard you say anything to correct her. Anyway, I despise the nasty creatures, as you know. Trust me, if I saw snakes I would have killed or stayed away from them, not collected and dumped them someplace."

[Izeroth]

 "I have a perfectly logical explanation for my behavior. James Gryphon, you see, was constantly complaining about how no one ever helped him with his psychological problems regarding bacon. I, having a degree in psychology, bought a pound of bacon and decided to help him (and thus spare our group from his irritating and pointless complaints)."

"Before I could begin treatment (a very mild and unharmful procedure, designed to slowly acquaint the patient with bacon), however, an extremely rare Northwest Polynesian Leopard Mosquito bit Gryphon. Knowing that, coincidentally, the only cure for the NPLM's deadly bite was a pound of bacon, I urged Gryphon to eat it. I forced Gryphon to keep the windows closed, for I knew that exposure to the outside atmosphere would negate the bacon's curing effects."

"The bunker would have been finished well before the deadline if my fellows had actually helped me build it. While they were all busy cleaning up the garden, you see, I was the only doing real construction work. When I asked them to help me, they suggested I forget trying to build the bunker and pitch a tent instead. Eventually, I was forced to do exactly that."

[Jukka the Sling]

OOC:  Claimed post!
BIC:

Most illustrious Overlady, the YouTube video was for a contest in which 500,000 fortunate people would win a brand-new bunker, much better than we (with our limited bunker-building experience) could ever hope to build.  Plus, the contest ended that day and the winners would be announced and the prizes delivered within two hours!  With either Internet fame or a bunker awaiting us, what did I have to lose?

I fully intended to release the prisoners unharmed after knocking them out with a completely harmless gas and capturing them in the cage.  (I had nothing whatsoever to do with the harmful gas Skye had a neutralizer for.)  But as Amber and I were both videoing them, something struck me on the head.  When I came to, the prisoners and Amber were gone.  My chances dashed like so many fudge-striped graham cookies, I got up and went to help Russa with the garden.

Now, Russa is a gardening expert.  I asked her what sort of compost it was best to use, and since she was busy planting, she told me to just go to Wikipedia 'cause she didn't have time.  I did so, and the page told me to use crushed glass, tires, etc.  I managed to find these at the island's landfill and commenced working.

As was my wont, I might add, I checked and saw that the last editor on the Compost Wikipedia article was Izeroth.  I didn't bother to look at the content of his edit, but now I realize that he must have vandalized the article for the purposes of leading innocent people astray.

[Jukka the Sling]

OOC:  Finally finished my post!

[Izeroth]

 As I've repeatedly stated before, I have no Wikipedia account. "Izeroth" must have edited the article without my knowledge or permission.

[Lady Amber]

Oh, Overlady, the reason I didn't help Izeroth with the bunker was because I knew how much gardens meant to you. A few days after we signed up to be your servants, you told me that if you were to ever retire, you would turn your whole yard into a huge garden. You stated that you loved gardens so much, that I realized that you would be crushed if there was no beautiful garden for you. So I put all my effort into making the garden wonderful, but unfortunately, to no avail.

[Mhera]

Silence now reigned on the beach. Sighing, the Overlady ran her hand down her face. These imbeciles were going to be the death of me. The eight remaining servants stood before her awaiting their judgement. Heaving another sigh, Mhera began to speak.

"What a miserable failure you all made this mission. I gave you a few simple tasks, and yet- you know, I'm getting tired of this, let's just cut to the chase. Rrrrr, you didn't really do anything to try and serve me. See ya, bud."

The unfortunate minion was suddenly swooped away by a huge ocean wave. The other servants watched him disappear into the brine in an instant as the Overlady pondered her current state of mind. She feared her servants were slowly causing her to become as unhinged as they were, and decided that she desperately needed a change of pace.

"You know what? I give up on Linguino. Let's head to my other base."

The Overlady snapped her fingers and suddenly she and the servants were standing in a dimly lit, low-ceilinged concrete bunker. On one grimy wall was a thick steel door with no apertures save for a keyhole.

"You know why I didn't come here earlier? It's because I don't have the key to that door. It's hidden at the local library inside a book. Your jobs are to go there, find the book, get the key, and bring it back to me. And get me a hamburger combo while you're out. No cheese, no sauce, with a diet coke and large order of fries. Go."

Later that day...

"Somehow you lot set off the library's fire sprinkler system, which ruined all the books in the building. Also, you failed to get me the key. On another note, according to this receipt you got my burger order wrong. Not that it matters, because my meal was apparently fed to a hoard of cats! Explain yourselves."

OOC: Due to recent events, I decided it was best to scrap my old plan. Apologies for any randomness and logical inconsistencies

[rrrrr]

0   _0
I thought I was safe after my post

And I can swim, you know.

[Mhera]

OOC: Your posts were too safe, if that makes sense. And it's a good thing you can swim; means you'll be alive to come back for XVII

[Skyblade]

"Here's my story, Overlady. We decided to split up for this mission: four of us could get the key while the other three got the burger. Since there were four girls and three guys, it worked perfectly. I went with the Squirrel Sisters to the local library and James, Izeroth, and Soren went to the nearest fast food restaurant. I have no idea what happened with the guys and their burger fiasco because I had nothing to do with it.

Anyway, we arrived at the library. I promptly started looking for the book you had asked for. Meanwhile, the Squirrel Sisters were being completely unproductive. They had grabbed some Twilight books, even though those weren't the ones that had the key, and were arguing about Team Edward VS Team Jacob. I don't know why. I told them to stop and that we had to do the mission right, but they told me to shut up and that I never have anything important to say.

So, I went to find the book by myself and found it in a hidden spot. I opened it, and yes! The key! (And it was the right one, and there was nothing wrong with it). I grabbed it and stored it safely in my ultra-protected backpack.

I went back to the Squirrel Sisters to find them still in the same place, now arguing over Team Peeta VS Team Gale (they were talking about romance novels for the entire mission). "Hey, I got the key, let's go," I said. They agreed, but as we were walking out, Amber very rudely insulted a librarian's hairstyle. The librarian got very offended. I tried to calm down the argument, but then Jukka said, "I know how to stop this argument! By lighting the entire building on fire and thus destroying the library!" I tried to stop her, but she pulled out a coin and threw it at the auto-touch fire sprinkler system before I could reach her. The fire sprinkler system activated, and the whole place burst into flames. I had nothing to do with Jukka's rash action.

I noticed the water sprinkler system was broken (Russa had made it that way for some reason). I grabbed a fire extinguisher and would have put out the fire, but Amber said I "never do anything right" and smashed the only fire extinguisher in the building. We had to run out just to escape with our lives.

By then, the only good thing was that I had gotten the key. Unfortunately, I discovered that Russa had surreptitiously swiped the key from my backpack while I was checking the water sprinkler system. She then flushed it down a toilet. I, of course, had nothing to do with that whatsoever.

Overlady, I did my best. But everything was still ruined."