The Forum Fan-Fic

[Gonff the Mousethief]

When you wanted to be in this, I just knew you had to be tackle-hugging somebody. Glad all of you are enjoying it! This weekend is very open for me, so I will be working on chapter 2 then!

[Dannflower Reguba]

This is amayziiiiiing! Great job Gonffy! You mailed it! This part in particular really made me laugh:

Greeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

The bolded parts especially

       Gonff mailed it so hard that those bolded parts sure do stick out BTW Corn, your spelling teacher from 3rd grade called, she's still wondering about all those absences 

[Cornflower MM]

When you wanted to be in this, I just knew you had to be tackle-hugging somebody. Glad all of you are enjoying it! This weekend is very open for me, so I will be working on chapter 2 then!

Heehee, I do do it a lot don't I? Whoohoo, I can't wait!

This is amayziiiiiing! Great job Gonffy! You mailed it! This part in particular really made me laugh:

Greeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

The bolded parts especially

       Gonff mailed it so hard so hard that those bolded parts sure do stick out BTW Corn, your spelling teacher from 3rd grade called, she's still wondering about all those absences 

. . . . ..

RAAAR! *Jumps on Dan's back and starts hitting him with frying pan*
One, haven't you ever heard of emphasizing? Two, hello, typo! Three, did she really? Huh, I guess I'll hafta ask my mom how she got your number then!

[Dannflower Reguba]

      What's emphasizing? That's the whole point  . As chance would have it, you gave it to her.... When you messed up the order of the numbers when trying to give the teacher YOUR number!

Okay okay, I'll stop posting off-topic, teasing Corn is just a full time job 

       On a more topic based note... Gonff, did you say you were going to work on the next chapter this weekend? If so, when (roughly) can we expect the pandemonium to continue?

[Gonff the Mousethief]

Probably either Monday or Tuesday. If I have more time than expected, maybe Sunday.

[rachel25]

I'm so behind on this, only just got round to reading it. Absolutely love it by the way and even though I suck at painting I'm glad I'm sort of arty.  Can't wait for more.

[Gonff the Mousethief]

Well, here is the second chapter! I honestly had so much fun writing this with all the Easter eggs. However, it's the light before the dark. Enjoy! Oh, and Credit to Wylder for writing "The Traveler's Song" and to Gali for recording the song from The Legend of Luke (And yes, that is my poem "As the Crow Flies).

Chapter 2


   BatLord rang the bells for the last time that night, signaling everyone to head to the cellars. The blue fox recorder turned his gaze from his appearance presented to him in the mirror. For the past hour, he had been making sure he knew how interact with people. It all seemed very unique, since he had known these people for such a long time, but now he was scared to talk with them. Never mind it though, he would be presentable non the less. He let out a heavy sigh, then stuffed a small scroll into his habit pocket (There had been an extra under Tammo's bed, and the fox saw an opportunity for revenge). But before he headed out, the loud snores of the Gatehouse Keeper came flooding to his ears much like before. This time, he didn't even bother. If the bells couldn't wake the hare up, nothing would.

   What Gonff saw when he arrived was something quite spectacular. Barrels, painted with either beautiful or humorous designs colored and decorated the scene. They served as tables, seats, platforms, and podiums. On a set of them to the far left, Groddil, Russa, and Amber were lying out freshly baked scones and pasties, crisp, cold salad, a large freshly caught bass (curiosity of Sandpaw), and candied chestnuts for the Dibbuns. Cellarhog Delthion stood next to a a roaring fireplace, taking requests and giving out drinks to all who asked. A spectacular ambiance was created by Wylder and a Sky, bowing and fluttering their instruments. Mhera and Banya stayed back, watching as the Dibbuns (Who they had covered for Sky) were entertained by a small side show put on by Dotti and Bonaparte. The large group of Abbey Sisters and wanders came busily by, still trying to catch up from earlier. Gonff grew a merry smile seeing the fun lying before him. But before he could continue, a large pat hit his back. Shocked, the fox saw turned and saw his Badgerlord friend standing behind him.
"Seems like it is going to be a good night, doesn't it Gonff?"
"O-oh certainly. Will you be telling a tale later on?"
"Hmm, not sure yet. If I get a request maybe."
"Well, you got one from me! Do it on how you met your Lady. The Sisters will be all over it, especially Rachel." Søren let out a large hefty laugh and patted his friend once more.
"We'll have to see my friend. What about you though, are you performing one of those poems of yours?"
"Meh, I might. Depends on if you will perform something."
"Oh fine, I will tell my tales. Promise me though, you will preform something also."
"Of course!" Further conversation was cut short as a mass of Redwallers came down the stone steps to the party, making the two friends part ways. This caused Gonff to go out in the crowd and try to talk with some beast.

   First, he wedged his way over to Delthion, who was giving out hardy laughs with his drinks.
"'Ey there Gonffy! Wot you like t'night?"
"An October Ale please."
"Comin' right up mate! Say, pretty good ol' party eh?"
"Wonderful!"
"These Cellars are pretty wonderful aren't they? Now, 'eve you are! Have a grand ol' time will y'?"
"Oh, I intend to. Thank you Del!"
"Me pleasure!" Gonff took the goblet of Ale and moved out of the way as Daskar and Faiy got into a small hissy.
"Hey, I was here first!"
"No y' ain't missy. No savin' spots 'ere, specially for ah King!" The enraged squirrel grabbed something from her haversack and tensed up.
"Why you! I'll!"
With a flash, Leatgo, who had been in line behind her took the pan from her grasp.
"Faiyloe! Why, it just a spot now. No need to go bashin' people for it! Sometimes, I think we need to lock a few of you up in a crazy house!"
"Oh, I could arrange that," piped in Ashenwyte as he was passing by. "Would need high maintenance and secure cells, but it could happen." The three inline all gave him a puzzled look and quickly scooted towards Del who was oblivious to the war-prepared badger.

    The blue fox scanned around for people who he never really had gotten a word with. As if out of thin air, Rain came into view. He quickly hurried towards her.
"Hello there Rain! Having a good time!" The cat kept looking above and to the side of his head, scanning for somebeast.
"Oh, um, yes, yes I am. Say, have you seen Leatgo anywhere? Been meaning to talk to him." Gonff let out a sigh.
"Yes, he is over there in the drink line. I believe he was looking for you as well." The cat nodded and blushed, walking past him to look for her friend. The Recorder  fell saddened. He had been so close! But he pressed on. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eul hop by. Hope rose in him once more, but it was soon pushed down as he saw she was joining in the talk of the large group of sisters, who were now listening to a story told by Jukka about her idea for a better school than the Abbey one.

   But as luck would have it, Gonff did find someone to talk to, but not a face he didn't know. Captain Tammo walked in, and gave him a big wave.
"There you are Gonff! Couldn't find you for a bit, then I remembered that party tonight. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Um, well, I though you needed your beauty sleep." The hare gave a stern eye to his roommate.
"Well, it's good you did let me rest! I had an excellent dream for a new book. It's about this mouse and his friends. The mouse and these really cool eyes that are just, just oh! Well, they live on the seas, taking out Pirates and such, but something brings them to shore. Oh, and there is the bad guy, who is all evil and lives on a separate island. I'm thinking about naming him something like Damien. What do you think, Gonff, Damien?"
"Sounds very fine Tammo. Have you gotten a drink yet? The line is over there. It may wake you up a bit." The hare turned and saw the line, and quickly hurried over. Gonff let out a long breath of relief, for he had finally seen somebody while Tammo was blabbering about another book he probably would never write. Quickly, the blue fox walked over to the stone steps and sat down next to a young squirrel around his age. She seemed quite lonely, and almost excluded from the party.
"Hey there Mask, how's it going?" The novice looked over to the recorder.
"Um, okay I guess. Never have been that much into parties."
"Yeah, I feel you. How are you fairing here at Redwall?"
"Oh, I'm making it. Still taking some getting used to. It was very nice of Father Matthias to take me I like that."
"Yes, he is very caring indeed. Don't know how Ashleg will be able to fill those sandals."
"Ashleg? Oh don't tell me..."
"Yup. That marten has been kissing up on Matthias ever since he arrived here. Bet he will be the next."
"Well, might as well start packing then!" Both let out a good laugh, then sat watching the Abbeybeasts have a spectacular time.
"So, have you gotten to know everybody pretty well?"
"Pretty much. Well, besides you. You aren't usually out going like this, are you?" Gonff scratched the back of his head.
"No, not really. To be truthful, I only know a handful of these people well enough to have a full conversation with them. My work as recorder always has gotten the best of me."
"Hmm. Well, you can start here then, making new friends. How 'bout it?" Another glad smile slapped itself on the fox's face.
"Sounds like a plan to me!" They dinged their glasses of ale together and took a quick swig, before Kit, James, and Dan came down the stairs. They rose up and moved to the side. When the trio was down, Gonff went up to James.
"Hey, don't y'all have duty tonight?"
"Sierra said he had it. Plus, Dan was bugging me the whole time for some Strawberry Fizz. He is a Dibbun I tell you, in every way shape and form!"
"Ey, this stuff's for us all, ain't it?" Said Dan who had already gotten a glass from Delthion. The owl rolled his eyes and went to look for a more sensible person to talk with. Gonff however, was saddened. He had done what Sierra had told him to, and now he couldn't share it with him. But oh well, he needed to enjoy it first.

   When everyone was present and filled with a good dose of drinks, Delthion made his way to the middle of a large ring of barrels. With a hop, he leaped onto the center platform.
"Alright now! We will be beginning the performances! First off, the ditty of a duo, Dotti and Bonaparte!" Applause bounded around the room as the hare and rat entered the ring. When all was quiet, their act began. Firstly, Bonaparte was dressed in a very professional blue coat, covered in many medals. With his tri-tipped hat, he seemed to be scanning around to find an enemy. Out of now where, Dotti appeared dressed in the same uniform as he, but in red. Their coat tails flapped rapidly as they spun around each other, doing numerous acts while fighting with small shrew rapiers. Many laugh bale moments occurred. The rat would be pinned down, but he'd trip the hare, making her fall flat on her face. Or Dotti would hide behind a barrel, then sneak behind him while he pretended to search for her. The humorous fight continued for some time with many flops or a fall. Finally, in the ending act, they held their thin swords to each other's necks, but passed out with exhaustion! The Redwallers had a very fine laugh with it, and clapped for the two.

   Next up was Wylder. He had a small worn piece of bark in his paws when beginning. "Hello there everyone. While on my journey away from here, I wrote this small ditty. I title it, The Traveler's Song, based on my experiences throughout Mossflower Wood. Enjoy.


When the grass is greening in the valley,
And the river rushes down below,
You will find me singing as I wander,
I'll go where'er I want to go!
For the snow is white, and the grass is green,
And the water's bluer than the sky,
And the stream flows down to the sea below,
And I think, yes, I think so shall I.

When the bluebird's singing in the oak tree,
And the wind is whistling through the reeds,
And the sun is shining bright above me,
then I must wander with the breeze;
For the snow is white, and the grass is green,
And the water's bluer than the sky,
And the stream flows down to the sea below,
And I think, yes, I think so shall I!

When the flow'rs are blooming in the meadow,
And the scent of lilacs fills the air,
Then a longing fills my soul far stronger
Than e'en that for my lady fair;
For the snow is white, and the grass is green,
And the water's bluer than the sky,
And the stream flows down to the sea below,
And I think, yes, I think so must I!"

The crowd erupted in praise, cheering and yelling compliments all around. The explorer of a squirrel bowed, and exited the small area of barrels, being greeted upon his return with many a pat on the back or a wink of affection.

   The third act was Gali, who was still struggling to find the perfect song to perform. Her disheveled self eventually made it to the stage, with a crumpled piece of old parchment. "Oh, okay now. Well, I am going to perform a quick song recorded from the times when Redwall was just being built. Took me quite a while to find this one, but I think it fits this time nicely." With a quick wink Groddil and his assistants, she began.



One dark an' stormy night,
As the sun set in the east,
To granma's house I went,
For to partake of a feast,
With frogs an' fat hedgehogs,
Some otters an' a sparrow,
An' a squirrel who attended too,
Armed with a bow an' arrow.
The seedcake had been served,
When a dormouse in a bonnet.
Took one bite, oh what a sight,
She broke her teeth upon it.
Then backward fell a mole,
Tail first into the custard,
Ole granpa grabbed his spoon,
An' lookin' quite disgusted,
He hit the mole a smack,
Then like a fiash of lightnin',
An otter brained him with a flan,
That started off the fightin'.
We fenced with celery sticks,
With pies an' puddens pelted,
The squirrel with the bow,
By a pot of soup got belted,
A sparrow flung a scone,
It laid the otter senseless,
Then granma swung her pan,
An' left us all defenseless,
Two frogs sailed out the door,
A hedgehog up the chimney,
Whilst me an' ole granpa,
To the mantelpiece hung grimly.
So hark an' hear my tale,
Stay safe at home an' starve sir,
Steer clear of granma's house,
When there's goin' t'be a feast there!


Everyone loved it, and clapped greatly for her. Of course, Faiy got a little nudge here and there for obvious reasons.


   Fourthly, Søren the Warrior arose, and sat on the middle barrel.
"Greetings! By request of my ol' buddy Gonff over there, I am going to tell a few quick tales about me and my lady. How 'bout it?" Everyone nodded, with a few of the Sisters giggling with excitement. The Badgerlord told the many wonderful times between the two, such as when they first met at a meeting in the old Brockhall when his parents ruled over the Mountain, how their relationship became complicated when she moved back to the Highlands, and finally, when they married not to long ago. By the end, there was not a dry eye in the room (Well, besides James, who was still deeply moved, but not going to show it. An Owl and Elder had to keep a reputation you know). The crowd, much like the other performances, jumped up in cheer, glad to hear such a redeeming tale.

   On his way back to his spot, Søren nodded to Gonff to go up there. Fear stung the fox, who was dreading going to perform. Mask caught the Badger's glimpse, and nodded to her new found friend.
"Hey, are you going up there?" She whispered carefully.
"Um, er, I-I guess so."
"Well you better go up there before Sandpaw starts on some military planning speech." He smiled at her, then rose. Many 'Excuse me' and 'Sorries' came from the Recorder as he made his way to the front. When he was finally there, he was scared straight. The beady, ready eyes of his Abbey family stood there, watching him form all angles.
"Well, Um. Hello there everyone. I just wanted to put out this poem I wrote a while back. It's not very good, at all really. But um, yeah. Hope y'all like it." With a very, almost dangerously large breath, he pulled out the small scroll and started to read his poem.





As the crow flies,
It doesn't seem like much,
This world we live on,
From above.
But I tell you,
It is much more,
Than what he sees,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Mountains only dots.
But from our view,
They are giants of rock.
Adorned with powder,
Cold as cold itself.
But all this is a mere speck,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Forests are patches of rich green.
Our earthbound view is different,
The grand gathering of old friends.
Their suits crafted with hard bark,
And top hats green as luscious grass.
Just a spot this all is,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Trickles are what rivers seem.
But the way we see it,
Roaring lanes of the substance of life.
The foam and spray,
Wisps and splash 'round.
A trace of water this all is,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Our world may not seem large.
Mountains small, Forests spots, and rivers oozes of water.
But I tell you,
We might seem small, yet remember,
Our view of earth is different,
Than what he sees,
As the crow flies.



To his surprise, Gonff got an overwhelming response. People were clapping and cheering for him. He quickly got a little misty eyed and mouthed the words "Thank you" while he hopped off the stage and made his way back to his newly found friend, who was clapping just as well.

   That was the last of the performances. From there, many games opened up, including basic ones like dart throwing and such, but quickly escalated to ones such as when the Brothers and Sisters lines up opposite of each other and tried to do some odd counting thing. Gonff however, strayed over to the question and book games, ones which he was quite fond of. After about an hour of that, Sky, Wylder, with the addition of BatLord began a lovely piece, starting a large and peaceful dance (Sky, however, left after the second song to go out and dance with Kit). Rain and Leatgo put on a pretty spectacular show, with the Skipper showing off his new moves learned from the Otter Celebration. Peri, the small mouse healer, found it quite hilarious to dance with Delthion who was a bit tipsy form sipping extra elderberry wine. One of the more eloquent couples was Banya and James, who put on a very fit and captivating show, with each step perfectly timed and beautiful. In the midst of the third song, one very fast and fun, Gonff got pulled into the mix by his recent habit painter, Rachel. She was quite happy that he didn't pull away, and instead tried his best to keep up with the fast paced tempo. However, it did get risky when they almost ran into Groddil and his assistants (Who each had a grasp on one his arms, twisting him around while he pleased for help)) and Cornflower and Wylder, who surprisingly was keeping up with the energetic young squirrel. Finally though, the painter and recorder parted ways, sending him back to the stairs and her to grab a quick drink. To Gonff's surprise, Sierra was there waiting for him.
"Hey there Sierra! Glad to see you here! Thought you had wall duty?"
"Ah well, everything was pretty peaceful and the roaring of this party kept pulling me to it. Plus, I never would break a promise. Saw you made a friend."
"Yup, she is very nice. I got to know quite a few people here tonight. Thank you for pushing me."
"No problem. By the way, very nice poem. Intriguing and inspirational for sure." The blue fox blushed, and nodded his head.
"Oh, thank you. Sorry you didn't get to see the other performances."
"Nah, it's fine. Say, I better be going. Filling in for Dan in the morning. See you soon."
"Now? But there is still much to do!"
"Oh, just being here for the few minutes I have has been quite filling."
"Alright. I'll make sure Del leaves a keg of October Ale up there for you in the morning."
"Please do. Night Gonff."
"Night!"

   The "Cellarbration" continued on for maybe an hour longer. Many Dibbuns began to doze off, so it was Sky's cue to go and put them to bed. Shortly following, Matthias presented himself to the crowd.
"Everybeast! Tonight has been very delightful and fun, filing all of out hearts with joy. Sadly though, it must come to an end. So, I wish all of you a happy and safe sleep tonight. Now, I must hurry to bed, before this Ale kicks in!" Slowly, the Redwallers started to disperse, helping clean then walking back to their dorms. When most were gone, Mask came up to Gonff who was helping put barrels back in their proper place.
"Hey, thanks for sitting by me tonight. It was enjoyable and fun to meet you."
"Oh, thank you for becoming my friend!"
"No problem. See you tomorrow!"
"Yes! Goodnight!"

   When everything was put up and straightened, Gonff headed off back to the Gatehouse with a sense of accomplishment. Without needing to open the old wooden door, he heard Tammo's loud snores. Oh, at least he was tired enough to fall asleep. And that was what he did. Within the hour, Gonff was fast asleep, oblivious to what would come that fateful night.

[The Skarzs]

Another charming chapter, Gonff. I quite liked this line:
"Dan was bugging me the whole time for some Strawberry Fizz. He is a Dibbun I tell you, in every way shape and form!"

There were more than a few spelling mistakes, like curiosity instead of courtesy, I for in, and form instead of from. I also caught some times where a word was missing, like "to". The small things can make the difference.
Another thing I would like to note is about your dialogue tags. A lot of times you would put tags in about a character speaking in the paragraph above where they speak. It was very confusing when Gonff is talking to someone, but it describes what he is doing before he speaks instead of with him speaking. Might want to make sure your tags are with the proper speech. Lastly, it may be beneficial to put in more tags as it is. The characters become little more than floating, talking heads who are contantly getting mixed up. We need to know who is speaking without having to go back up and count every other line to find out.

[LT Sandpaw]

You know I'm not all about the military. I can be fun too...

Everyone: 

No seriously, I'm really good at fun stuff...

Everyone:   

~*~*~

Anyway this was a good chapter. The only thing I really noticed was that you presented Bonaparte as a rat, when he's listed as a stoat. But I bet that is an easy mistake to make with this many characters. (Even Brian did that.) So yeah, I really liked this chapter, keep up the good work Gonff. 

[Faiyloe]

This was awesome, I agree whole heatedly on the comment on Dan being a dibbun XD And I love how you had me and Daskar fighting.  and I like how Leagto intervened. Love the ester eggs too. Seriously though Ash stole our Insane asylum! 

[Dannflower Reguba]

Awwww, is this really how everyone see's me?  I guess I've got some work to do then.

       I didn't read through as closely as last time, but your use of adjectives and all around descriptions seemed to flow better this time around. Nothing over-the-top, but still giving clear indication as to what was going on, who felt what, general appearances, and so forth. Still need a little work on a bit of grammar (and possibly spelling), here and there, but it's still an improvement.  The story clearly moved along, and the stage feels well set for "tomorrow." Ready and waiting for the next one bud, good luck. 

@Faiyloe: Yeah, he stooled it so hard.

[Faiyloe]

  You had been trying to convince me you where a dibbun for the longest time, now that I believe you there is no going back 

And i'm dyslexic, Dan, dyslexic! This is why you are a dibbun...

[The Skarzs]

This was awesome, I agree whole heatedly on the comment on Dan being a dibbun XD And I love how you had me and Daskar fighting.  and I like how Leagto intervened. Love the ester eggs too. Seriously though Ash stole our Insane asylum! 

We shall get it back, in time. For some reason one more thing I would have liked to see, or rather, liked to have not seen, was your nudge to the events that will come after that chapter.

[Dannflower Reguba]

You had been trying to convince me you where a dibbun for the longest time, now that I believe you there is no going back 

And i'm dyslexic, Dan, dyslexic! This is why you are a dibbun...

       Hold up, when did I try and convince you I was a dibbun!? You know me better than most, how could you do this to me?    ............ By the way Faiy..... You forgot to capitalize the "I" in "I'm." 

[Faiyloe]

Every single time I said you where level headed and mature... 

And you just proved my point.