The Forum Fan-Fic

[Eulaliaaa!]

Once again, you have created a great chapter that doesn't disappoint us. This is amazing. Keep up the good work

[Dannflower Reguba]

       I must say I agree with the general consensus here. I thoroughly enjoyed the read (I love how James and I are just those two guys chilling on the wall, hahaha), but there were a couple SPAG errors, and as Skarz said, every here and there (not too often) the words used are just a tad bit unnatural. If you'd like, I can proof-read your chapters before you release them to try and roll out those couple mistakes. Also, don't worry about it too much, it's really easy to miss something that you typed. I know from experience, and have done it myself.

[Ashleg]

Still awesome, keep going!

[The Skarzs]

Good chapter, Gonff!

I must say, though, sometimes the words you use are a bit. . . Over-flowery. Read some of this aloud sometime and ask yourself if it sounds alright; a lot of those descriptions were slightly unnatural. Often it is the good writer who knows when to keep things simple.

Oh chill Skarzs, (I agree with you but) you have to know when to recognize when something is just a fun little project and when it is serious. 

All my fun projects are serious.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Good chapter, Gonff!

I must say, though, sometimes the words you use are a bit. . . Over-flowery. Read some of this aloud sometime and ask yourself if it sounds alright; a lot of those descriptions were slightly unnatural. Often it is the good writer who knows when to keep things simple.

Oh chill Skarzs, (I agree with you but) you have to know when to recognize when something is just a fun little project and when it is serious. 

All my fun projects are serious. 010101011110011001010101010 HELLO EVERYBODY I AM A HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU HUMANS. I LIKE TO DO HUMAN THINGS LIKE YOU HUMANS. 10110001010101100010101010101100 KILL ALL HUMANS 010101001110100111001

Fixed that for you.

(Sorry, for hijacking your thread, Gonffy old chap. I quite like your fic, and I want to see more.)

[Gonff the Mousethief]

Yeah, I was nervous to make the first chapter good, since a bunch of people would be reading this. Not I know what and what not to do. Also, I have been typing it all in the Word app on my iPad, and it doesn't help in the slightest with mistakes of any sorts. So I'll try to skim through that more as well. But, I'm glad you all liked it! Chapter 2 may take a bit, since I have a tin of projects at school to work on, but it will be a good cheater non the less.

[The Skarzs]

Take your time, Gonff.

[Russa Nodrey]

Great chapter, Gonff! I really liked it.

[Groddil]

@Lord Ashenwyte: No, no, no! That isn't proper binary! This, on the other hand...

01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01000001 00100000 01010010 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010100 00100001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01000100 01000101 01000110 01001001 01001110 01001001 01010100 01000101 01001100 01011001 00100000 01001000 01010101 01001101 01000001 01001110 00100001 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 01010010 01000101 00100000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01001110 01001111 00100000 01000100 01001111 01010101 01000010 01010100 00100000 01000001 01000010 01001111 01010101 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100001 00100000 01000010 01000101 01000101 01010000 00100000 01000010 01001111 01001111 01010000 00100000 01000010 01000101 01000101 01010000 00100000 01000010 01001111 01001111 01010000 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001111 01010011 01000101 00100000 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01001000 01010101 01001101 01000001 01001110 00100000 01001110 01001111 01001001 01010011 01000101 01010011 00100001 00001010

Anyway, Gonff, I really like this except that Russa is my kitchen assistant, which is probably the reason I'm a GREY fox. Keep it up!

[Russa Nodrey]

^

[Blaggut]

We need a like button

*Like*

[Dotti Dillworthy]

We need a like button

*Like*

Same here. And we need a Facebook page.

[Gonff the Mousethief]

Your wish is my command!

Oh, and Groddil, I don't think she'll be letting up any time soon 

[Wylder Treejumper]

Great job Gonff! I look forward to reading more.

[Cornflower MM]

This is amayziiiiiing! Great job Gonffy! You mailed it! This part in particular really made me laugh:

Greeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

The bolded parts especially