Choose Your Own Adventure - Forum Edition

[Groddil]

"The Teahouse, huh? Guess it's not what I woulda picked, but then again, I just like killing things."
"..."
"Relax, I'm messing with you. We best get over there, stat. It's a longer journey, so we have to run to beat the storm. Here, take this!"

Baliss got the Decoder.
Baliss's tentacle hands dropped the Decoder, smashing it on the ground.

"Ah, you stupid [rat]! You dropped our only weapon!"
"I'm no rat. In fact, I'm some sort of genetic freak."
"I KNOW! I WAS CALLING YOU A CURSE WORD, BUT THE CENSOR DIDN'T LET ME SAY IT!"
"Oh."
"SHUT UP AND RUN!"

You and Slagar start running for your life, heading in the direction of Ash's Teahouse. The storm of electricity and code right on your... tail? Eventually, you start to tire out, just as you see the Teahouse on the horizon. Bits of code fly out from the storm, transforming into all sorts of objects. Plush toys, cans of spam, and pure unadulterated feelz slam into the ground all around you. You manage to reach the Teahouse, and reach for the door...

Your tendril goes straight through it. You walk through the door, only to discover that it was just a flat projection. You notice Slagar struggling with something under his footpaw.

Help Slagar.
Stand around like an idiot.

[Hickory]

I guess help Slagar, cautiously.

[Rosie Willowwater]

Help Slagar. I'll trust him until he proves otherwise

[Delthion]

Help Slagar.

[Groddil]

You help Slagar with the thing, which turns out to be a hatch in the ground. You help him crank it open, revealing a massive drop into blackness. You peer down, trying to make out something. Anything. Slagar comes up behind you, grinning beneath his mask.
"That there's the Cellars. A wretched hive of scum and villainy. You first."
He shoves you roughly, sending you hurtling into the abyss.

. . .

When you come to, you have no idea where you are. It looks like some sort of hospital, but the whole room is on fire. A squirrel approaches you, holding a syringe.
"Hello. I'm Nurse Russa. Looks like you've got some serious injuries. Only cure... the lethal injection!"
She jumps at you with the needle. You need to defend yourself. You could try and roll out of the way, then make a run for it, but you don't know how your motor skills are. Or, there's a large hatchet leaning against your bed. You could try and fend her off...

Try to dodge Russa.
Defend yourself with the hatchet.

[Delthion]

HATCHET!!

[Groddil]

You reach your tendril down and curl it around the hatchet.

Baliss got the hatchet.

You haul upwards and slash the hatchet at Russa. You manage to sever the paw holding the syringe. The squirrel cries out in pain and falls backwards. You haul yourself to your feet and stagger towards the door. Suddenly, she blocks your way again, her paw having regrown.
"Fool! PP-ing works both ways!"
She throws the syringe at you again, and this time it hits you right in the jugular vein. You black out yet again. In the brief window between losing your vision and losing your hearing, you hear something like a chainsaw revving, and the words:
"You're safe now."

. . .

When you wake up, you are propped against a wall. In front of you, there is a strange badger-like creature, holding a teapot.
"Welcome to my teahouse, traveler. What brings you here? Information?"

Ask about Russa.
Ask about Slagar.

[Delthion]

Ask about Russa...

[Groddil]

You go to rub your head in confusion, but quickly remember the hatchet. You place it next to you.

Baliss lost the hatchet.

"That squirrel... Who was she?"
The badger takes a sip of his tea.
"Her name was Russa Nodrey. Once she was a peaceful Forumite. But she was one of they who were corrupted by The Administrator. She went feral, turned our hospital into her own personal torture thread."
"What happened to her?"
"I power-played her out of existence with my chainaxe. Perhaps you have heard of me? Once, they called me Lord Ashenwyte. Now, I am simply known as Ashe. Did you seek any further information?"

Ask about Slagar.
Ask about Ashe.

[Delthion]

(This is seriously awesome Groddil. )

Ask about Ashe.

[Groddil]

(Thank you, Del.)

"I want to know more about you."
"I have just told you everything I can. I was once a great warrior, but I have since resolved myself to brewing tea. Many Forumites once visited here, whenever they wished to take a peaceful break from the chaos that is the Cellars. In fact, until I saved you from Russa, I had not needed to use my Chainaxe for a long time. Perhaps it will come of some use to you instead."

Baliss got Ashe's Chainaxe.

"Was there anything else? If you had no further questions, I suggest you have some tea, to ready yourself for what is to come."
He holds a steaming mug towards you.

Ask about Slagar.
Accept the tea.

[Delthion]

Ask about Slagar.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Accept the tea.

[Groddil]

"Wait! There's one more thing."
Ashe raises an eyebrow, setting the tea down next to you.
"Do you somebeast named Slagar?"
Suddenly, Ashe's smile dissolves. His face takes on a steely gaze.
"Where did you hear that name?"
"I met him. He... I thought he was helping me, but he tossed me down here."
"That is... expected. Slagar has been twisted by hate. He is no longer who he once was. He has been... changed. The Administrator's influence has affected many of us. Slagar, Russa, Delthion..."
"But who is the Administrator?"
"I do not know."
"How do I leave this place?"
"I do not know."
"You have to know something!"
"Well..."
Ashe stands up and walks over to a wall, where a small computer terminal is jutting out.
"I have heard of a way. But you would not be able to traverse this path."
"Why?"
The badger silently points at your tendrils.
"Your current physique is... less than impressive. Pardon me for saying this, but you are no more than a glorified octopus at this point. You would need to find some way of restoring your body to its natural shape. As it so happens, I know a way that you can at least manage until such a time."
"How?"
"You must seek out the Binturong. He will help you. Take my Chainaxe, in case you run into any undesirables on the way. Once you find the Binturong, and... fix yourself, return here. I will tell you the path you must take."
You nod, grabbing the tea. You drink deeply from the mug, and your vision blurs slightly. You feel tired, and soon fall asleep.

. . .

When you awake, Ashe is sitting opposite you, holding a rucksack. He offers it to you.
"I have given you supplies. Tea, danishes, and fuel; enough to sustain you on your journey to the Binturong."
"Any idea how to find him?"
"He resides in the orchard, a strange place filled with many things I do not understand. Words, pictures, all are foreign to me. It is a strange place, for it seems... out of place."
"Any idea how to get there?"
"I do, actually. One quirk about the Orchard, and the Front Lawn in general really, is that it is much safer than the rest of the forum. There are no guests there, which means the only threat to you will be feral members."
"Wait, what are guests?"
"Strange, evil creatures from places unknown. They just... drift in, overwhelm members, and leave as soon as they appear. They never do anything, aside from the killing, but they are fragile at least. I would be quite surprised if you were killed by them, and not another member, especially with that Chainaxe on your side."
"Okay, this is all well and good, but how do I get to the Front Lawns?"
"There are only two other places in this universe where guests cannot reach. One of those is also off-limits to us as well, but the final... Is known as Secret Hideouts. It is the only way out of The Cellars."
"Any tips on how to get there?"
"Yes. If you walk outside, you will notice the code storms. They are, in essence, "random." One thing about this place... If a location is not visited often, it becomes further away from the entrance to the Hideout. But there is one place that always remains close. It is randomness itself, a whole thread dedicated to it. Follow the storms, for they always return there. You will eventually find your guide at the place where they originate."
You nod, pick up your new Chainaxe, and sling the rucksack over your shoulder. You say goodbye to Ashe and step outside. Immediately, you notice a code storm slowly moving away from you. You notice several ways to follow it. Firstly, you could head straight through an open area to follow it quickly, but you would be very exposed and open to attack. Or, you could cut through several threads on your way, taking more time, but being safer.

Go through the open board itself.
Go through several topics.

Most popular vote will happen.

[Delthion]

(Groddil, please make me an awesome good guy. )

Go through the open board! Why not?