Groddil's Trial

[James Gryphon]

Groddil committed an abominable murder, killing his beloved wife of approximately three hours by the ghastly means of setting her on fire.

Clearly, we must have a murder trial to condemn this man to prison!

I'll be the judge and prosecuting attorney. Sign up for the Jury here by posting "I solemnly affirm that I will render a "Guilty" verdict, in line with the clear evidence against the defendant, and support whatever sentence the judge approves."

[Hickory]

I'll be Groddil's lawyer.

[James Gryphon]

According to the Law, murderers aren't entitled to representation.

You can be the bailiff, though. Is that good enough?

[Groddil]

According to the Law, murderers aren't entitled to representation.

You can be the bailiff, though. Is that good enough?

According to AUSTRALIAN law, people who committed MANSLAUGHTER ARE entitled to representation. My wife's death was an accident! In fact, the one to blame is whoever left that oil lying around in a bucket marked "water!"

[James Gryphon]

Whatever barbaric traditions are in your home country are unimportant. As a resident of the Loamhedge Forum, you're subject to its laws.

We have a clear transcript here, showing that the defendant knowingly and maliciously murdered his dearest wife:

Cripes.

"Now hang on. This isn't wedding weather. This is too cloudy! Hold on."

* Groddil pulls out a device and pushes a button. It starts pouring down with rain, and a bolt of lightning hits the tree, setting it on fire.

"Whoops, wrong way..."

* Groddil quickly changes the weather to sunny.

"Oh NO. My wife is on FIRE! I MUST be a good husband and SAVE it!"

* Groddil throws oil on the tree, causing it to burn hotter.

"Oh NO. That wasn't WATER. Oh, my POOR, POOR, tree."

* The Tree burns to ash.

As this log clearly shows, the condemned is guilty of the charges of first-degree murder and first-degree arson. He must be held accountable for his crimes and sentenced to the highest penalty the law provides!

[Rosie Willowwater]

As this log clearly shows, the condemned is guilty of the charges of first-degree murder and first-degree arson. He must be held accountable for his crimes and sentenced to the highest penalty the law provides!

*Cries*

[Jetthebinturong]

Suspected murderers aren't entitled to representation? That makes no sense. It's not exactly hard to frame someone for murder.

[Hickory]

Like it or not, I'm the lawyer.

@Ashleg: Mind giving an official pardon?

[James Gryphon]

Suspected murderers aren't entitled to representation?

No, just not murderers. In this case, we know he did it, so there's no need to have an annoying attorney to try to claim otherwise.

As far as Ashleg goes, don't count on his help. Firstly, we would call it an obvious conflict of interest; secondly, the alleged President of the Cellars (a position that does not exist in the actual hierarchy of authority) has no powers.

Like it or not, I'm the lawyer.

* James Gryphon shrugs

You can be a lawyer, you just won't have anyone to represent, since the only available slot for a lawyer in this trial and sentencing is already taken.

[Hickory]

As if Groddil didn't hate you enough already...
I call this "court" as being unnecessarily biased.

[James Gryphon]

It's exactly necessary, to give the necessary verdict! It's in fun... nobody fussed when y'all gave me a trial.

[Hickory]

True, true. on both points

[Kitsune]

He could just be a bit clumsy.

[Groddil]

Whatever barbaric traditions are in your home country are unimportant. As a resident of the Loamhedge Forum, you're subject to its laws.

We have a clear transcript here, showing that the defendant knowingly and maliciously murdered his dearest wife:

Cripes.

"Now hang on. This isn't wedding weather. This is too cloudy! Hold on."

* Groddil pulls out a device and pushes a button. It starts pouring down with rain, and a bolt of lightning hits the tree, setting it on fire.

"Whoops, wrong way..."

* Groddil quickly changes the weather to sunny.

"Oh NO. My wife is on FIRE! I MUST be a good husband and SAVE it!"

* Groddil throws oil on the tree, causing it to burn hotter.

"Oh NO. That wasn't WATER. Oh, my POOR, POOR, tree."

* The Tree burns to ash.

As this log clearly shows, the condemned is guilty of the charges of first-degree murder and first-degree arson. He must be held accountable for his crimes and sentenced to the highest penalty the law provides!

False! I was just trying to brighten up the day. SOMEone changed my device's settings so that the "delete clouds" option turned everything into a storm. And when I tried to put my wife out, SOMEone replaced the water in the nearby "water" bucket with oil!

[Jetthebinturong]

Yeah. You could try him for manslaughter instead? Or Treeslaughter? Illegal deforestation? Something along those lines.