Sandpaw's Totally Government Paid For Emergency Room (E.R.) Sitcom!

[LT Sandpaw]

*Scene opens up with Sandpaw the rat standing next to a food truck with the words 'Ambulance' emblazoned over the taco decal, dressed in suspiciously filthy scrubs, stethoscope, and facemask, while holding a hacksaw and scalpel.*

Due to budget cuts we can't have an applause button on our audience machine thingy! Or a siren on our ambulance!

Does not matter, continue with scene one.

Very well. Ahem, welcome nurses and surgeons to my E.R. sitcom, we are paid by the cellar government so you know we're top notch professionals.

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LAUGH MACHINE!

*Audience Boos.*

NO!

*Audience Boos*

You're fired! Private take over.

  Ahem. Anyway ya'll have to say something funny on every post, or else. *Sandpaw threatens the gathered Forumites with his hacksaw* And don't worry, thanks to the laugh machine ya'll literally cannot not say something unfunny.

*Audience Chuckles*

So who wants to drive the ambulance and pick up our first sucker client?

[Lady Amber]

I'll drive!

[Rosie Willowwater]

No, I want to!

[Aimless Gallivanter]

I'll be the first patient. you can start by running me over.

[Lady Amber]

*Jumps into driver's seat*

[Rosie Willowwater]

*Pushes Amber out of the driver's seat and sits down*

[Lady Amber]

*Grabs Rosie and throws her out, hops in, and drives over Galli*

[Russa Nodrey]

*Yodels*

[Rosie Willowwater]

*Runs and jumps on Galli's head and into the car* *Pushes Amber out of the way again and sits down driving the car off a cliff*

[Aimless Gallivanter]

*gives a thumbs up while lying face down bleeding into the pavement*

[LT Sandpaw]

What are you doing! The script demands laughs! We have to do things that are funny. Alright Rosie you drive, Amber you ride shotgun. Galli's been run over, change the scene to wreck site, and take one. GO!

*Minions run around changing the set real quick while a laugh sequence goes off.*

Alright someone be the cop, and someone else be the drunk driver that hit Galli! Ready, take one, camera zoom in on the bleeding Galli. Action.

*Audience gasps as drama begins.*

[Chipster of Noonvale]

...

[Rosie Willowwater]

* Rosie Willowwater makes ambulence noises

~Whee-OO~Whee-OO~Whee-OO~Whee-OO~

We're here to help!

* Rosie Willowwater splashes a half full glass of iced tea on Chip's face

Well then! It's hopeless! You will die a painful death!

[Groddil]

* Froddil walks on.

"Umm, yeah, hello? Is this thing on? I'm Froddil, from the Department of Fair Use. Apparently, you've used the word "Forumite." Are you aware that "Forumite" was trademarked by Groddil? Did you receive permission to use it?

[Aimless Gallivanter]

*is bleeding out on the pavement while chip gets a.....
I'm sorry what?
a glass of iced tea for a heart attack??