Corrupt-a-Wish

[James Gryphon]

Granted; your cat very carefully lowers the stuff off of your desk, instead of just knocking into it.

I wish that I knew my temperature.

[Skyblade]

Granted You cat knocks your desk onto your stuff, destroying all your most useful possessions.

Okay, never mind Granted, you know your temperature, but you can never change it (PS it's over 100 degrees Fahrenheit)

I wish I could be in tune on my flute & piccolo almost all the time.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You're perfectly in tune every time you practice. The only time that you're not so good is whenever you're being recorded, or listened to by other people.

I wish that I had monies.

[Søren]

Granted, you spend all your money on Monoply games to have assorted colored monies.
I wish trafic lights were inverted.

[Hickory]

Granted. However, they are inverted at the wrong time, and mass chaos insuses. You are executed for killing thousands of people.

I wish I had a magical vending machine.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. The vending machine spits out a can of Coke at 500 miles per hour. All you have time to see is a blur of something as it strikes the bottom of the machine, bounces up, and hits you in the head, killing you.

I wish that more people would join OO.

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, but now there's too many people!

I wish I didn't have to practice my viola.

[Mhera]

@James your wish ended with someone dying

Granted! Go practice kazoo. For two hours.

I wish I could go ice skating.

[James Gryphon]

@Mhera:

Granted, but your skates are rentals, and hurt your feet so badly that you can barely stand it. To make matters worse, you're extremely clumsy, and spend all of your time getting back up after falls. You come home bruised, tired, and with aching feet, wondering why you went. (based on a true story)

I wish that I was a cat.

[Mhera]

@James I used to go ice skating often, and each time I used rental skates. I hated those skates.

Granted! But it's one of those evil cats that seems to exist solely to end your existance. However, because you love cats so much you refuse to get rid of it. You live the next 17 years in fear and trembling, until one day it disappears. You search for it for days, offering rewards and scanning every animal shelter in your county, but all in vain. You never learn what happened to the assassin cat, and it bothers you the rest of your life.

I wish I could flip pizza dough and spin it around like a pro chef

[James Gryphon]

(I wished I was a cat, not had a cat.)

Granted; you're a piece of pizza dough, and become very skilled at maneuvering and flipping yourself around. Unfortunately, you get stale, and the pizza chef decides to throw you away instead of making you into a pizza.

I wish that the world outside of my house wasn't so boring.

[Mhera]

(I see what you did there...)

Granted! You live in downtown LA and are forced to join a gang.

I wish I were hiking in the Rockies

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Granted, but you fall down.

I wish my tonsils stopped bothering me so much. 

[James Gryphon]

Granted; they pass the job on to your heart, which, madcap joker it is, makes your life more exciting by skipping a couple of beats every now and then.

I wish that, instead of having to get up to get more apples, I could reach them from where I am.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Granted, but you have to head underground to pick snozzcumbers.

I wish that I could go to Japan in June.