Choose Your Own Adventure - Forum Edition

[Groddil]

Yes, that's right, it's a CYOA. But not just any CYOA, its a FORUM CYOA! Here's how it works:

I put up a paragraph.

You post and say what you want to do. If there's text in italics, you have to choose an option. If not, just do anything you can think of.

Ready? Good.

...

It's been a hard day. Whether you've been busy, bored, or somewhere in between, today has just really sucked. You decide to relax by visiting one of your favorite websites; The Loamhedge Abbey Forum. You're about to view one of your favorite topics, but it appears to have been restricted so that guests cannot view it. You need to log in. Now what was your username again?

[Delthion]

Baliss.

[Groddil]

Log In:

Username: Baliss
Password: **********************



All of a sudden, when you click the Log In button, you feel... drawn towards the screen. A sharp force pushes you in the back, slamming you against the screen. As your fingers disappear through the screen, you black out. When you wake up some time later, you stare down at yourself in amazement. Your skin is covered in scales, and your hands and feet have been replaced by tendrils. In front of you is a scrawled piece of paper, with the words "Forum Rules" written on it. After looking around your surroundings, you also see a creature curled up in a corner.

Read the rules before investigating the creature.
Ignore the rules and head straight for the creature.

[James Gryphon]

Read the rules first, I guess.

[Groddil]

You pick up the paper with your tendrils (it's quite difficult) and skim over the rules. They're... interesting, to say the least.

1.  Do not respect anyone's opinion. Nobody has the right to have their opinion, only opinions approved by the Administrator are allowed. If you don't agree with someone, report them to the Administrator.

2.  Nobody is entitled to their own belief in politics and religion. You must worship the Administrator, or die.

3.  Post adult content or profanity, in any form you can think of. Redwall is enjoyed by many older readers, and we want to keep things mature for them. If you post something stupid and kid-friendly, which we can't allow in this forum out of concern for our older visitors, your post may be altered/removed without warning.

4.  Edit-out moderator edits. If a moderator has edited your post, delete their changes. You're not a sheep, don't listen to them.

5.  Illegal activity or content is generally encouraged, to varying degrees.  This includes copyrighted works, piracy, adult content, and anything else of questionable legality.

6.  Destructive discussion must be committed by each member once per day.  This includes hacking information, wiki vandalism, and anything else of a destructive nature. Failing to do so will result in a ban.

7.  "Flaming" or "trolling" a member is encouraged, especially if said member is Slagar the Cruel.  If this happens to you, forward the message to Slagar the Cruel and change all the names so that it affects him.

8.  Register more then one account if possible. This rule is subject to the discretion by staff members in a case-by-case manner.

9.  "SPAM" (stupid pointless annoying messages) is strongly encouraged. Always follow links of spammers or spambots, and always post in their topics. If you have SPAM of your own, post it.

10.  Private Messages are not to stay private. If you receive a PM, post its contents immediately.

11. Do back-seat moderating. If you see that someone has done something that you think is against the rules, tell them that they messed up and insult them.

12. The Administrators always has the final word. When it comes to a conflict between 2 members, regardless their status, the Administrator.

13. The Administrator can overrule a moderator. If a dispute becomes big, and a moderator says something, the Administrator can still overrule that if it is deemed necessary.


Rules Of Posting:

1.  Double posting (posting two times in a row in the same topic) is strongly encouraged in most cases.  If you wish to add information, post another reply.

2.  Bumping topics is not allowed in most sections, as long as you have something worthwhile to contribute to the discussion. If a topic dies, just make a new one.

3.  Conversations in topics must not maintain a natural flow. Everything must be random; if three posts in a row share a similarity, they will be deleted.

4. Always flood (posting repeatedly in one area and thus overwhelming discussion) anywhere on the forum, with the express intention of spamming, or to be noticed by virtue of many posts. This rule applies everywhere. This rule is applied at the discretion of the Administrator.

Rules of Courtesy:

1. As this is a discussion forum, small images (below 40x350 pixels) are not allowed in signatures to make scrolling the forum and reading conversation harder. You must use an image larger than this in your signiture.

2. Posts should stretch the screen. "Stretching the screen" can happen when somebody posts large pictures, or very long strings of text at large font sizes. This especially applies to the shoutbox; violating this rule there can result in being promoted to moderator. Therefore and furthermore, if anybody posts a video or picture in the shoutbox, we strongly recommend that they do not do so in spoiler tags, and post the video several times in a row to fill the shoutbox.

3. Posts must include unnecessarily numerous images; people's time and bandwidth are fleeting, and we want to make sure the forum is not easily accessible to everyone, as being slowed down by a million emoticons is fun!

After reading the rules, the creature walks up to you. It is a fox with a mask, standing on its hind legs.
"Found the rules, did ya? I'm Slagar, the Administrator's worst enemy. I suppose you're here to spew hateful garbage?"

Insult him.
Be polite.

By the way, the Administrator isn't who you'd expect.

[Delthion]

Be polite.

[James Gryphon]

That's what I was going to say, but I went to post it and "There's been one new post made".

[Delthion]

My apologies Grpyhon! Thankfully disaster has been averted!

[James Gryphon]

You didn't read the rules when you first went to post, did you?

[Delthion]

No, I never read the rules. I didn't really read the rules of the first forum and I still haven't read the rules of this forum which I assume are the same.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Dis gonna be gud.

[Groddil]

"Nice to meet you... Slagar. I don't think I'm going to do that, I just want to know where I am."
Slagar crosses his arms.
"The underworld? No, that would be too easy. You're inside the screen, kid. Inside the inner workings of the forum. Just like everyone else. The Administrator's trapped all the members inside, reduced most of 'em to pure code. They're the lucky ones. We 'ave to try and find supplies in amongst all this mess. Food, water, shelter. Any idea how hard that is? When the lightning comes, an' it always does, whenever somebeast turns on their PC, we 'as to find shelter. Only way to do that is to comb through data until we find posts that happen to mention buildings, or food. In fact, there's something on the horizon right now."
You turn around, looking at the edges of the "room" you are in. To your dismay, rather than be inside some sort of building, you are just lost in an endless white field of nothingness. At the edge of your field of vision, you can make out splotches of yellow and unreadable text.
"What is that?"
"'Tis death, kid. They're relics o' battles between members, powered by the electricity o' your computer. We need shelter. Now. There's two places nearby I can think of. The closest one to us is Clozzil's Quality Clogg-Killin' Centre. Some strange place filled with stupid stoats an' a lot o' weapons. We should be able ta defend ourselves easily if we 'ead there, but other than that, there ain't much supplies, an' the buildin's been torn apart by all th' mayhem. Or, a bit more of a walk, there's some sort o' Teahouse. Good shelter, lots o' supplies, but it'll take a while ta get there. An' times precious right now."

Go to Clozzil's Quality Clogg-Killing Entertainment Centre.
Go to Ash's Teahouse.

Option with the most votes is what'll happen.

[James Gryphon]

I guess go to the first one for now; maybe we can drop by the teahouse later when we aren't in imminent danger.

[Hickory]

Ash's Teahouse. You can gather supplies in the way, and it has other members to gather information from. The killing center is a hotspot and easily found.

[Lady Amber]

Clozzil's Clogg-killing whatever it was. You can head over to the Teahouse later.