Corrupt-a-Wish

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but it fluctuates between the two options so the snow melts all the time and you can never dress appropriately for the weather because it's always changing.

I wish apples were bigger.

[Booklover]

Wish granted but they're so big that one of them crushes your house.

I wish that I had all the Redwall books.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Wish granted but they're all in really, really tiny print so you can't read them.

I wish that I could fly.

[Booklover]

Wish granted but you've turned into a bird and can't turn back.

I wish that I could teleport.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Wish granted but you can't control where you teleport to and you can only ever do it once. (so now you're stuck in New Zealand)

I wish there was outside air conditioning.

[Booklover]

Wish granted but you can't control it.

I wish I was back in England (New Zealand's great, but I don't want to get stuck there after my teleporter broke because it's probably illegal).

[shisteer of nothing much]

Wish granted. You're back in England, then your teleporter started working again and teleported you to Australia.

I wish trees didn't have to die to give us wood.

[Verdauga]

Congrats; now they don't. But now, you've got a tree growing in your fireplace.

I wish I had less schoolwork.

[Booklover]

Wish granted but you have to do actual work for the rest of the time and you don't get paid.

I wish that there were English people here who would actually be on at the same time as me.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but they never post anything.

I wish roses didn't wilt.

[Booklover]

Granted but they keep reminding you of Laterose and Primrose (which isn't a good thing).

I wish that I was a faster reader.

[Jarky Thistlebrush]

Granted but now you read so fast that you can't take in any of the information.
I wish that everything tasted as good as rhubarb mush and oats.

[Booklover]

Granted but you can't taste anything at all, so it doesn't matter. I'm also interested in how rhubarb mush and oats tastes amazing.

I wish I knew how rhubarb mush and oats tasted good.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted but you're allergic to rhubarb so you can't eat it, even though you know it's delicious. (It is, by the way. Rhubarb mush is just what you get when you cook rhubarb. Add oats and you, effectively, have a rhubarb crumble)

I wish I could have some rhubarb crumble right now.

[Jarky Thistlebrush]

Granted, but it's such a tiny amount that you can't see it, let alone taste it.
I wish I could get a chapter of my book done in one writing session.