Corrupt-a-Wish

[Delthion]

Granted! You are delighted to see a live angler fish between two pieces of bread spawn in front of you.

I wish for a speedy and enjoyable time until I ship out in July.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ye experience a vonderful vone zecond und zen tiz toime tae zhip oot.

Ah vizh zey 'ad more o' a zelection at ze library.

[Delthion]

Granted! It is a selection of books in all the languages that you don't know! As soon as you learn to read in one of those languages all the books in that language become a different one!

I wish that I was an astronaut.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ye are na' an acorn floatin' in zpace.

Ah vizh fer ye tae nae grant ziz vizh.

[Delthion]

Not granted! Unfortunately, all the other wishes that you ever wished for in the past are granted in their corrupted form.

I wish that I had an unlimited supply of Jocko Mölk Protein Powder in the gingerbread cookie flavor.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but it av runz off doon ze road zingin' zat ye cannae catch it, tiz ze ginger bread protein povder!

Ah vizh fer it tae znov.

[Delthion]

Granted! It snows forever and never stops, the snow is now thick enough to reach the moon! Life on earth has gone extinct centuries ago.

I wish for it to be summer.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, tiz zummer in anozer part o' ze vorld but in yer area tiz eternally vinter.

Ah vizh zin'z on Amazon vere cheaper. Ach...

[Delthion]

Granted! Everything on Amazon is cheaper! Unfortunately, this is the Amazon rainforest and the only thing on that is leaves. So I hope you know what to do with a bunch of varieties of leaves!

I wish that I had more bookshelves to stock with books.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, but zey are a type o' bookzhelvez vhich can only 'old bookz zat are o' zubjectz ye're nae intae.

Ah vizh me email vorked better.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Granted, but somebody hacked it, so your email works really well for them, but you've completely lost access to it.

I wish I had some orange juice.

[Verdauga]

Granted. Unfortunately, the orange just comes from artificial food dye, and the juice comes from onions.

I wish I had magic powers.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ye 'ave ze magic pover tae turn platez intae pumpkinz und pumpkinz intae platez. Enjoy.

Ah vizh ze vorld vaz in better zhape.

[Delthion]

Granted! The world is now a mobius strip. Due to the fact that it is also paper thin, it stretches across the solar system and everyone dies.

I wish that I would get over the last of this nasty flu that I've had for 4 weeks or so.

[HeadInAnotherGalaxy]

Granted, ye get o'er zaid flu, only tae be bitten by a Rakghoul und zuz infected viz ze Rakghoul viruz. Enjoy becomin' a Rakghoul.

Ah vizh Ah 'ad an entrance tae me ovn zecret Chamber O' Zecretz in me room.