Corrupt-a-Wish

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Several cloaked figures arrive in the night and drag you from your bed, kicking and screaming, into their magic spaceship. They take you to a gas planet, and throw you, head-first, into the abyss. You fall for the rest of time.

I wish that people wouldn't corrupt wishes and then not make them.

[Mhera]

I wish that I wasn't sore.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; now you're completely numb. You can't feel any physical sensations at all. After a lot of trouble and several hospital visits, your family has to hire a personal assistant to take care of you 24/7. You never have any privacy ever again.

I wish that I wasn't stymied trying to figure out how to code this thing.

[Hickory]

Granted. ayou can code, but not type in nrmal english.

I wish I wasn't so nervous for tonight's showcase.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; you're very confident about your abilities, so confident that you go out for lunch to preemptively celebrate your performance. Unfortunately, you lose track of time. By the time you realize it and get to the showcase it's already finished and the building has been emptied out. You find out the next day that everybody who showed up to perform were given expensive prizes and scholarships.

I wish that our blond dog was still around.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. He's so old, however, that he can't do anything.

I wish more people embraced my point of view.

[James Gryphon]

(She.)

Granted. Every person on Earth now thinks exactly the same way that you do, and look to you for guidance and direction in their lives, so they can make sure that they don't deviate from your line of thought. Everything that you know anything about is done as you would have it; that which you don't, is simply left undone, because if the great Izeroth doesn't care about it, why should anybody else? Earth gets along for the first year or so under your leadership, but by the fourth year all of the utilities have broken down, because you don't have time to learn everything you need to know about plumbing, electricity, etc. You turn out to be the last person on Earth, as everyone else gave their lives to preserve your access to the dwindling food and water supply. You live pseudo-comfortably in a bunker, go crazy, and spend the rest of your days using the world's supply of nuclear weapons to try to kill off all other life on Earth.

I wish that my feet were clean and my cat was in my lap.

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, you don't even have any feet. And your parents bought a tiger, and he's sitting on your lap so you can't move...

I wish I didn't have to learn a foreign language.

[Hickory]

Granted, you have to learn a dead language, Latin.

I wish I could make my own redwall food.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted, you become one of the greatest Redwall Chefs of all time, so much so you become the chef of legends and all the world leaders beg for you to create dishes for them. However you can only make so much food in one day so every man and women on earth turn on each other in a mad slaughter to be the one to be catered by you. The US and Russia begin a nuclear war with every other nuclear power on earth in a attempt to be the single nation to be left to be served. In the chaos you are hit on the head by a stray rock and you forget how to cook anything. When the smoke clears you are the last  living thing on earth. After a week you ironically starve to death because you forgot what food was.


I wish the sky would stop falling on chickens and instead fall on ducks.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. The sky falls, crushing all ducks. Unfortunately, one happens to be flying above you; it falls from high up, hitting your head, killing you instantly.

I wish that people everywhere recognized that cats are better than dogs.

[LT Sandpaw]

Granted, cats become the new most loved pets, people build cat parks and create cat grooming stands and many new cat toys, hunters take their most loved pets out to catch ducks and run down rabbits. Soldiers and the police force begin to use cats to catch criminals and help fight wars. All the while cats look at them like their crazy and hiss when they come too close having absolutely nothing to do with humans. Dogs soon become more popular being just that much better then cats making your wish repeat itself just too compensate but of course it all just happens again, your wish begins to warp because it has too keep up with plain old doggy love and in the end rips the universe in half killing everything.


I wish you would see that dogs are defiantly better

[Mhera]

Ninja'd-Granted! People immediately replace dogs with cats world wide. Now you have guard cats, bomb sniffing cats, guide cats, bird cats, police cats, drug sniffing cats, therapy cats, and purse cats. Except that cats are terrible at these jobs and now people are breaking into houses disregarding the "Beware of Cat" signs, stuff is getting blown up, blind people aren't able to safely walk anywhere, hunters end up with nothing more than feathers and a few bones because the cats ate the birds they shot (let alone how cats don't fetch even if they didn't eat birds), the police cat units are totally not intimidating, drugs go undetected, and kids in hospitals keep getting scratched by temperamental therapy felines. The only thing that doesn't change is how silly women look when they carry an animal around in their purses, as that's just weird even when it's dogs.

@Sandpaw-Granted! James sees that dogs are better at defiance, and doesn't like them because he doesn't like a rebellious animals.

I wish my favorite water bottle wasn't leaky.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but whenever you try to drink out of anything else, it turns out that it has a leak. You can only drink from your water bottle. When you go to a restaurant or a drive-thru, you have to take your water bottle with you so that they can fill it instead of the cup they would normally give you. You live in constant fear of the possibility of your water bottle being lost.

I wish that this other computer worked.

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, that computer works but any other computer you try to use instantly breaks.

I wish I could go sky diving and make it out alive (not dying while sky diving, try to corrupt that...)

Granted, you have to learn a dead language, Latin.

I wish I could make my own redwall food.

I already have to learn Latin...