Funny posts collection

[Søren]

my hair makes no sense

Then it doesn't make dollars either.

[The Skarzs]

Yez.

[MeadowR]

I get it now, reading it again.

[Søren]

I'm Germany.

Curse you, Ashleg, you beat me to it.
I'm Spain.

You'll soon be in a lot of PAIN, Spain, what with German Engineered Karate I'll whip you into last year! Hooooooooo....yyyyyyaaahhhhhhh!

BOIIIIIIIIII, YOU GOIN' DOWN!!! ANDELE!!! FOR GOD, GLORY, AND ENCHILADAS!!!

[Ashleg]

BOIIIIIII, YOU GOIN' DOWN! ADELE!!!

[Jukka the Sling]

Aww, they even agree! And Russa thanked Skarzs' post! Such a sweet couple!

Russa. Take it back so they have less ammunition.

The only ammunition we need is Cupid's arrow to pierce your stone heart and announce to the world why this ship is meant to be and how you hold it so dear in your forge of a soul now roaring with the fires of love.

Cupid tried once. The arrow bounced off.

[The Skarzs]

[The Skarzs]

Mm.

Thanks for that insightful advice, I shall treasure it always and pass it on to my future children so that they may learn the many lessons it has taught me with it's wisdom.

[Jukka the Sling]

I am cow.

Hear me moo.

I weigh ten times more than you.

And I look! Good! On the barbecue!

Yogurt, curd, cream cheese, and butter

Are made from a liquid that comes out my udders.

I am cow, I am cow, Hear me moooooo.

I am cow, eating grass.

Methane gas comes out my- DONKEY.

And from my muzzle when I belch.
[/quotelOh the ozone layer is thinner

From the product of my dinner.

I am cow, I am cow, eating graaaaaaasss.

*Shoves a cork in Skarzs's mouth to prevent him from singing*

Moo-moo moo-moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo-moo moo moo moo moo-moo.

(Someone butcher that cow so that I don't have to listen to that song anymore.)

*Puts on a straw hat* *Peacefully digs a hole and tosses a small cucumber into it* *Covers cucumber with a humble pile of dirt*

*Drowns Skarzs in a water trough*

The song is done.

boo

*Squawk*

[The Skarzs]

[The Skarzs]

*pokes head into thread*

o_o

O_O

o_O

_O

O

*closes door quietly*

This is genius and should be saved forever.

[Jukka the Sling]

*Maudie details her problems with a guy who won't stop texting her*

Russa:

Maudie, all your problems could be solved by simply moving to Switzerland and spending the rest of your life milking goats and making cheese on some deserted alpine peak.

[Ashleg]

BLHAVE

How do I do that?

First you crouch down like you are looking for a penny.

Then you jump up.

Repeat four times, then flap your arms like wings and shout "BLHAVE!"



................it's what all the kids are doing these days.

I just did that in a crowded square...now I'm in this cool suit where I can't move my arms!

Oooh that is so awesome! I've heard that they're really coming back these days. Congrats for staying on top of the fashion game.

[The Skarzs]

* Delthion proceeds to calmly and collectively beat Soren to death with a chair.

Collectively?

I am the Borg.

[Chipster of Noonvale]

I'm not sure if the Wright brothers invented the plane or not, but I do know that the Wrong brothers invented the wreck.

(Jajaj, it's some kind of spoof of the "Pinky and The Brain" theme song that I made -because I'm weird- while I was talking to Scartooh. I couldn't fit it entirely on the forum, because the signatures were meant to be shorter, but here's the complete version:

They are Scartooth and the Sierra, yes Scartooth and the Sierra. With a name like that, their show wouldn't last. Kids don't know how to pronounce, the name of this weird pair. Parents also don't know what it's about.

They live inside a cage, making less than minimum wage. It's hysteria. They are Scartooth and the Sierra, ra,ra,ra,ra,ra!).

Actually, diesel isn't much better than coal for the environment.

But Thomas was steam, which is good.

And how do you make the steam?

Electric heaters by solar panels. Duh.

Yet another reason Australia is dangerous:

I love bald eagles (As a bird, not as a national whatever because I don't do that whole AMERICAN PRIDE BALD EAGLES FTW ALL YOU OTHER COUNTRIES SUCK thing) but dang that Australian Wedge Tail Eagle is so cute.

GRYPHON DDB PROOF

"Hey guys, BlockMaster420 here. Today, we gonna build a house."

*Twenty minutes later, BlockMaster420 stares at a really fish-like looking dirt house.*

"Ok guys, I finally did it. My hou-"

*Some random Russian kid comes along and blows up the house*

*BlockMaster420 shrieks like PewDiePie on drugs, making the ears of everyone watching bleed*

That level of cringe? Bit more? Bit less?

I HATE HOW IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO ACCESS BBCODE IN POSTS FROM LOCKED THREADS ARGGH

Quote from: Jukka the Sling on 18 March 2017, 10:45:59
^ If you edit within a couple minutes of posting, it won't say that you edited it.

Wait a bit longer, though, and then it would rat you out

Hi, everyone

It's easy to hide things behind screens. My foot's been tapping and my fingers have been wriggling as I keep my amazing secret to myself.. but since the date is looking closer, I'd love to tell you all

We know that Sierra and I are a forum ship (Skyerra OTP), but we were actually not joking. The two of us truly are in love. A month or so ago, we got engaged (the day Sierra proposed to me... it's too amazing for words). Our marriage will be held this summer.

Sierra and I will be smoothing out the details the next few months (cost of airplane, Sierra's new job). We plan to reside in the US, in a small apartment we can afford.

It's tough to work this all out, but our love crosses all barriers Please pray for us.

Now, let's celebrate! *Throws confetti*

Chipster will be so disappointed.

Now he'll have to marry me.

Come here and kiss me, @Chipster of Noonvale !

I remember when I was younger that I used to say "I'm about to reboot my computer for the first time in two hours". Oh, how times have changed

The members are now going through nostalgic agony, from transitioning from their first time here on the forum in childhood to having the forum down forever to growing up and coming back and then changing forums again.   

If you look closely, I'm CRYING.

Ah geez, looking back this place contains more history than any History book I've ever seen. I'm still in a rush of being able to post about here and see old usernames such as W0NWILL, The Skarzs, Soren the Warrior. Oh I love ever bit of it. Really, I'm glad things happened as they did. Without it, I doubt any of us would be as close as we are. Our friendships went through so much to stay together and now that we are back it is such a beautiful, beautiful thing.

MORE QUOTING NONSENSE 

Think cows holding signs that say, "Eat Mor Chikin" and, "Beef Puts U 2 Sleep". Also, there is food involved.

When I was a kid, I thought that I wanted to be an adult.

Tru tho ^

599599 Posts in 8984 Topics by 1825 Members

This is... interesting

When I was a kid I thought that adults actually had a clue about life. That when I got to the ages I am now I would suddenly understand all this 'grown up' stuff, and I really don't... >_<

SIBERIAN BEAR DUEL

THE HOT (Well, cold.) NEW SPORT IS SIBERIAN BEAR DUEL. IT INVOLVES WEARING FUR PANTS IN THE COLD SIBERIAN WINTER AND TRACKING DOWN A BEAR TO DUEL. THE ONLY WEAPONS ARE FISTS AND GIANT MOUSTACHES.
SIBERIAN BEAR DUEL IS THE GREATEST SPORT IN THE WORLD.

Have you played this sport?

YES, OF COURSE.

Mod: Give me actual pictures (though a video is preferable) of you doing this, or the last three posts go to the Cellars.

THOSE STUPID THREAD LOCKS!!!

So this car was in front of me today, so I took a picture.... It seems the DDB have returned!!

This is for the old school members, but if you dibbuns want to know, look up Death Defying Beavers in the forum search. 

I thought that my parents *actually* had security cameras in our house that could monitor my every move... let's just say that lie kept me in line for a while...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HOW ABOUT TALKING ABOUT FLUFFY BUNNIES.

YES. FLUFFY BUNNIES ARE THE BEST.

I USED TO SEE THEM IN MY YARD A LOT BUT NOW I RARELY SEE ANY

I THINK YOU GUYS ARE FORCING IT BUT OKAY.
I SEE FLUFFY BUNNIES IB OUR YARD ALMOST EVERY MORNING WHEN I LEAVE FOR WORK. THEY ARE EATING THE GRASS.

Out for their morning silflay?

Bunnies are adorable.

How about 2000 degree? Well then, subscribe to my channel on Youtube for more videos on how to make a knife using temperatures far above a measly 1000 degrees.

That awkward moment when you're having an online conversation (either in real-time or spread out over a few days) and the conversation slowly dwindles and either the other person posts something vague and unreplyable or you do and then apparently neither of you can think of anything else to say and so you don't and the conversation dies and you aren't sure if it was your fault or the fault of the other person for posting something vague and unreplyable and you don't know what they think of you anymore.

That awkward moment when you have nothing to talk about to someone you have been lifelong friends with.

That awkward moment with your lifelong friend when you discover you have more in common with his older brother than with him.

That awkward moment when you realize a lifelong friend and yourself will never be as close as you once were.

[badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger][badger]

[dance] it.

*Does an Irish jig*

Whoa this is old.
That "yay!" moment when you see a squirrel desperately trying to cross the road while you're driving and you're rooting for it as you watch it jump back from an oncoming car, then cheer inwardly as you see it sprint across and into the ditch with one final tremendous bound.

That "please end my suffering" moment when you remember something you did when you were much younger but even though no one else remembers or knows it's so embarassing now that you want to curl up into a ball so tightly you turn into a black hole that sucks you out of existence.

971. Host the first ever Redwall Abbey Forum party at Walmart with the theme being "Cellars irl"

Shipping is weird.

End of story!

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Horrah for familial bonds.

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If you touch my babies there will hardly be enough left of you to cremate, understood?

*Sigh* Ever heard of Google, my young friend?

No. What's a Google?

*facedesk*

Three admins.

Apparently I forgot how to count.

UNACCEPTABLE. MOD POWERS REVOKED.

I'm not on ALL day. Just most of the day.

So 23 hours and 59 minutes.

Yes. That one minute of sleep is really refreshing.

Really glad to hear that; thirty seconds just isn't enough sometimes.

They will never get him. Decades from now, our children will sing songs late into the night of the bird lion who got away. And in a little field outside Hounslow, they will still be able to hear the distant, faint wail of the legendary bird-lion who screamed the tense mid front unrounded vowel often.

   
• ooooh
• look at that

   
• so many
• possibilities

so many buttons I haven't pressed

so many things I haven't tried

behold

^{i am unstoppable}

Wylder's advice is obviously silly. But if you follow the copyrighted Gryphon System, in one simple step you can avoid ever having any problem with those pesky relationships. I'm such a nice guy, I'll give you the full details for free.

1. Stay home in your parents' basement and don't ever go upstairs or interact with anyone.

(If you don't have a basement, your room can be converted into a reasonable facsimile of one by covering up the windows.)

Something, something, leprechauns, blahblahblah, green, blahblah, top'o'themornin'.

Have fun!

A tip fer 'ov tae get a zhreaded body:

Zaid Tip

Ztick yerzelf in a meat grinder.

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1911 pistol vs. American steel butterknife.
I now carry at least 5 butterknives and 3 spreaders on me wherever I go.

Yes, that way when someone fires at you, you can split the bullet and have two holes in your body instead of one.

Quote from: Lord_Ashenwyte on 05 August 2016, 00:16:39
Quote from: Groddil on 04 August 2016, 23:58:58
Quote from: Sagetip on 04 August 2016, 23:51:59
I'd like to see a sword officer dodge a .50 caliber sniper bullet.

I'd like to see a sword officer survive for an hour in a 3 x 3 x 3 room whilst being shot at by miniguns, strategically placed so that they can shoot at any location in the room, and which have enough ammunition to sustain automatic fire for said hour.

That's part of Sword Officer training.

How to convince your parents to let some random person online send you a sword is beyond me, however awesome that may sound...

You could just not tell them and when it comes in the mail say "Oh, how did that get there? I guess we should probably keep it."

I just got back from a talk with Asif Kapadia, Oscar-winning director of Senna and Amy. It was really interesting, and now I want to watch those documentaries.

He literally said "illegally download it if you want. Universal and New Line aren't sharing the profits with me so why should I care?"

And- *Suddenly, Emo Skarzs appears.*

DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH LOTS AND LOTS OF DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH.

And that one has fancy formatting and stuff but guess what thread locked so I can't access bbcode AGAIN!!!

RAF children's book titles:

Matthias's 720 Guests
Invasion of the Beavers
Sierra meets the Ginormous Chimera
Tagg the Overlord
The Last Page Wins
Buttons!
Girls vs. Guys
Ashleg and the Baby of Doom

I shall explain.

No, I tell a lie, Wesley shall explain.

you needed this meme so i returned

@The Skarzs Awesome! Now you can say: "Hey what is up guys Cave of Skarzs here, with another vid for ya, smash that like button if you like it, subscribe it helps a lot, check me on Patreon for stuff and be a superduperblacksmither, ring a ding ding that bell so you never miss a video, let's aim for 24k likes y'all just smash and destroy that button and subscribe and never miss a video, I got merch on sale at represent.com/caveofskarzs ive got your hoodies, your plushies, all you gotta do is subscribe, smash the link and the like button, hmu on Twitter and follow me there, check my Insta and add me on Snapchat I'm always on blacksmithin and don't forget my giveaway at the end of the video, leave a comment down below if you want to win that and drop a like on this video peace y'all"

Come to the Moon! Where it's usually about 224 degrees during the day and about -298 at night!

What? Sorry, I can't hear you over the sounds of seagulls and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Oh, come on, don't pretend you don't throw snowballs at your own face. Every normal creature does.

MR BURR, GET A MEDIC FOR THE GENERAL. YES SIR. LEE, YOU WILL NEVER AGREE WITH ME, BUT BELIEVE ME, THESE MEN DON'T SPEAK FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. LET'S RIDE! HAMILTON? SIR? MEET ME INSIDE. MEET 'IM INSIDE, MEET 'IM INSIDE, MEET 'IM INSIDE, MEET 'IM, MEET 'IM INSIDE. SON? DON'T CALL ME SON. THIS WAR IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT INFIGHTING, LEE CALLED YOU OUT, WE CALLED HIS BLUFF. YOU SOLVED NOTHING, YOU AGGRAVATE OUR ALLIES TO THE SOUTH. YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, JOHN SHOULD'VE SHOT HIM IN THE MOUTH, THAT WOULD OF SHUT HIM UP. SON, I'M NOT YOUR SON. WATCH YOUR TONE, I AM NOT A MAIDEN IN NEED OF DEFENDING, I AM GROWN. CHARLES LEE, THOMAS CONWAY, THESE MEN TAKE YOUR NAME AND THEY RAKE IT THROUGH THE MUD. MY NAME'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT, I CAN TAKE IT. WELL I DON'T HAVE YOUR NAME, I DON'T HAVE YOUR TITLES, I DON'T HAVE YOUR LAND, BUT IF YOU- NO. IF YOU GAVE ME COMMAND OF A BATTALION, A GROUP OF MEN TO LEAD, I COULD FLY ABOVE MY STATION. AFTER THE WAR. OR YOU COULD DIE, AND WE NEED YOU ALIVE. I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO DIE. YOUR WIFE NEEDS YOU ALIVE, SON I NEED YOU ALIVE! CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME (DRAMATIC PAUSE) GO HOME ALEXANDER THAT'S AN ORDER FROM YOUR COMMANDER. BUT- GO HOME. 

You can be a Moulehog.

It's a mouse mole hedgehog.

Just laugh.

*Obediently starts laughing a creepy evil laugh*

*Puts on glasses and pushes them up my nose.*

According to my c-calculations, we are precisely and exactly 98.54% doomed.

Real picture of @The Skarzs below: Colorized, 2018.

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DDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LOCKS

Nearly brain dead? That's no excuse! I've been brain dead since February 28th, 2001!

(sadly it's true )

I'm getting tired of hearing 'Where were you?' Stop it!!! I'm not going to answer. It's my business! I'm not mad, I just don't want hear that question again!

Alzae zin'z can alvayz be vorze. Zere could be a giant 'edge'og at yer door demandin' a bill be paid zat vaz due zree yearz agae...

I think you upload a one second video of you just going "Mm." And link it whenever you want to say that in a post.

(Here you go Skarzs )

Krantor, who is currently traveling around the Eastern Shores, to Skarzs the Smith sends his regards.

How long has it been since I have sent a messenger to thee? Behold, it has been even longer since I have seen thy face. The reason being, our acquaintance is not very well. For our our differences have led to strip, env, and discord. But now, I write to thee to hearken unto me. A common enemy has arisen and their numbers are without compare. I beseech thee therefore, forget our anger and let us unite under one banner for if either of us attempt to gain victory alone, it is oblivious, it cannot be done, but together, our chances of survival is much greater and we may succeed. I am currently seeking my allies among the Tribes by the Shores. Thou, I ask, must do the same amongst thy folk, no matter how small the force may be.

Given on the LVI day before the Spring Season.

TJ wanted me to make an ab crab

What in season's name is that.

It's ab crab, TJ's loyal companion. Like Zombie Pinata but much better.

I CAN TEACH YOU ALL ABOUT WHY AND SO CAN TJ SHE MAKING A PLAY ABOUT IT CUZ ARNOLD WAS A SNAZZ DUDE

ASMR is weird...

       Yeah well, so is everyone that's made more than like, 10 posts on this forum

my lubby is chubby for my hubby: abbey the crabby

Come again?

Her lubby is chubby for her hubby! Which was said by Abbey the Crabby. Don't you pay any attention Russa?