Corrupt-a-Wish

[Norham Waterpaw]

They've arrived! But they're all moldy, and you see some maggots in the corner.   

I wish my pony could fly.

[Tiria Wildlough]

Granted, but now it's a My Little Pony.
I wish that I wasn't so unfit.

[Emperor Ublaz]

Granted. You are now perfectly fit to begin a strenuous exercise program.

I wish I was immortal.

[Jukka the Sling]

Granted. Unfortunately, an angel says that you have to travel the world forever with a black dog. And always leave your current location just as you'd befriended people.

I wish I owned my own airplane.

[Emperor Ublaz]

Granted, but the next day your best friend tries to fly it and hits a tree, ripping the wings off and putting you both in the hospital.

I wish I could be in a Redwall book.

[Jukka the Sling]

Granted, but you get killed in a vermin attack.

I wish I could live in Hawaii.

[Rusvul]

Granted, but as you're on a long work trip, a tsunami eats your house and you find your new adress to be 3471 Atlantic Street

I wish the person to post after me wouldn't corrupt or in any way change this wish.

[Jukka the Sling]

Granted. However, the person after me corrupts it instead.

I wish that I owned a pet rabbit.

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, but it's a man-eating rabbit that you have to blow up with a Holy Hand Grenade.

  I wish that I could sing my part of the Hallelujah Chorus perfectly.  (I can't hit most of the notes 'cause they're so ridiculously high.  I signed up for second soprano, not first!  )

[Tiria Wildlough]

Granted, but you're the only person who can sing on the day you perform it.
I wish I had a great singing voice.

[Emperor Ublaz]

Granted, but your friends become jealous and leave you.

I wish I had a better computer.

[Jukka the Sling]

Granted. However, you like using it so much that you're on it all the time, and it overheats and explodes.

I wish I could go skydiving.

[Rainshadow]

  Granted!  In fact, you're so in love with it that you decide to go without a parachute.

  I wish my head would stop hurting.

[Jukka the Sling]

Granted! However, your whole body hurts instead!

I wish I could visit the South Pole.

[Rainshadow]

  Granted, but unfortunately, you went without any gear or anything, so you died shortly after arriving.  By canoe.

  I wish that I could finish Merlin tonight, and that I liked the ending.