Corrupt-a-Wish

[Delthion]

Granted, you are a genius at adding anything below ten together, but anything above that, you are quite unteachable.

I wish that i was a billionaire.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. The government prints you a billion dollar bill. Nobody else believes that it's real currency, though, so you can't spend it anywhere.

I wish that I owned a salsa factory.

[Delthion]

Granted, you own a factory that makes people dance.

I wish to live a stress-free life.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You're transformed into a goldfish. Your owner is allergic to everything but you, so he has no other pets, and never invites anyone over. You live a stress-free and extremely dull life, and die at the ripe old age of 28 years.

I wish that I could develop this game more quickly.

[Delthion]

Granted, you develop it so well, that the computer seems to be conscious, the only problem is that the computer game has an IQ of 264, and it is so hard that no one buys it.

I wish for [fill in the blank].

[James Gryphon]

That's kind of a funny answer, considering that it happens to be an AI programming game.

Anyway.

Granted. Every blank spot in everything you write has now been filled, making all of it impossible to decipher.

I wish for fish.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. A fish appears in front of you and then dies. The fact that you killed an innocent fish haunts you for the rest of your life, and you spend all your days regretting your wish.

I wish nothing bad could happen to me

[Delthion]

Granted, you become the worlds biggest brat.

I wish for something.

[Spearfinn]

Ok but that something is terrible

I wish I could be in a redwall book in real life not in my dream and whatever

[Delthion]

Granted, You are in a Redwall book about the apocalypse in Redwall, the whole world dies and you die there and no one knows what happened to you.

I wish to be in The Lord of the Rings.

[Jetthebinturong]

Granted, you're one of the many killed at the battle of the Last Alliance

I wish for something to wish for

[Delthion]

Granted, you're homeless.

Honestly, that would be really cool to be in the Battle of the Last Alliance.

I wish that I could figure out what Jet's username means.

[Jetthebinturong]

Granted, but it's quite dull
Jet the binturong
A binturong is the best animal ever

I wish anime would stop depressing me, first Attack on Titan and now Haru's troubles in Eternal Summer

[Izeroth]

 Granted. Te anime is great and stops depressing you. Problem is, the anime is so happy that you become depressed about your real life and eventually wither away of sadness.

[Delthion]

Granted, because you didn't wish for anything all of the world disappears and you survive, living an eternal life of loneliness you with no light and no ground and no temperature.

I wish that I could breed a dragon, and figure out how to design your own eggs, like Han is doing.