Corrupt-a-Wish

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, but later they get mad that you gave them no credit for writing since you told your teachers that you wrote it. They tell the teachers and they get so mad they kick you out of the school. You end up poor and lonely, the person who wrote the papers feels sorry that they caused that and tries to cheer you up by giving you flowers. Turns out you are allergic to those flowers and have to be rushed to the hospital immediately. You end up being hospitalized for life, since the person keeps bringing you flowers and apologizing while the doctors can't seem to figure out what you're allergic to.

I wish I could travel around the world to Scotland, Germany, Portugal, England, and other awesome places.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You volunteer with the International Red Cross. A great plague hits the world. You are one of the few trained individuals immune to it, and are sent across to Scotland, Germany, Portugal, England, and other places, to work in hospitals and help the many afflicted. You work at the hospital on 16+ hour shifts every day, and get only a little bit of time to yourself, which you use to eat, clean up, and sleep. After several years, the plague has slowed down enough that you're finally able to return home. You reflect on the irony of the fact that you visited every country you had ever wanted to visit, but saw none of their sights because you were too busy.

At least you got to help save some lives. Also, you're now acquainted with the layout of every major hospital on the planet.

(And that last response was hilarious.)

I wish that I was a robot.

[Wot, wot!]

Granted, but your heavy metal arms are not able to press the off button so you stay awake until you run out of battery.

I wish I didn't have to take Latin

[Eulaliaaa!]

Granted, now you have to take Greek, a language harder than Latin.

I wish my cat wasn't so annoying and would just let me hold her.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; wherever you are, she only wants to be near you. She gets up in your lap whenever you're sitting down, and sleeps on your chest or your legs whenever you go to bed. Whenever you're about to get up, if you don't pick her up and carry her, she hops up on your shoulder and rides around on you. This works for a while, but her sedentary lifestyle results in her picking up quite a bit of weight. Eventually, she has trouble getting on you with one jump, and needs to start using claws to give herself a boost up...

I wish that I could complete this game project.

[Hickory]

Granted. You complete it, but the grade is terrible and you end up being depressed because you had previously been an all A student and done well with all extracurricular activities you participate in. The pills perscription you take for the depression were accidentally non-renewed and you nearly die when you unknowingly take the wrong medicine. You are hospitalized and realize you should have evend out work on the project so you never did to much at a time (which is good advice).

I wish I played my Prince Phillip part in my school showcase better.

[Mhera]

Granted! You're an excellent Prince Phillip actor. Talent scouts start coming from every corner of the world, trying to recruit you. Unfortunately they soon realize you're only good at playing Prince Phillip and are totally worthless for every other part they try to cast you in. You watch various studios retract their multimillion dollar contracts, putting you back at square one. You're now unable to make the payments for the Rolls-Royce you bought when you thought you were going to be rich.

I wish I won't get hit by a car.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Whenever you walk outside, cars drive by, almost, but not quite, hitting you. This happens every time you go anywhere, and, after you recover from the initial shock, is a great way to give your friends and family heart attacks.

I wish that February wasn't a slow month for the forum.

[Mhera]

Granted! Traffic picks up an insane amount, with every member posting near constantly, but only in the Girls vs. Guys topic. The traffic and amount of posts in that one thread are enough to overload and shut down the forum.

And somehow the girls always win.

I wish my dog had a rawhide.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but the dog gets extremely aggressive whenever anybody goes near the rawhide, or even looks at it. Since your dog likes to camp out in the middle of the floor in everybody's way, this becomes something of a problem, as it tries to take off people's feet whenever they walk by. You're forced to use a broom to push the rawhide to an isolated corner of the house, with your dog growling and snapping at you all of the way. After you do that, though, the dog picks it up and goes right back to where it was lying. And your dog never actually chews on the rawhide, it only guards it.

I wish that I had some clue what I was doing in programming.

[Delthion]

Granted! But unfortunately, your father Stienekranf was a diabolical programmer, and when you go to his mansion, you are compelled by an unknown force to continue his greatest work, the living spam-bot! You work and work and spend hours in the mansions creepy cellar, containing many insane beings held in an asylum run by psychopaths! You finally finish your father's greatest work, and yell insanely, but because it was your father's work, your name is hardly ever mentioned, and you continue working in the cellar until you finally come up with t he living internet troller! You perfect it, it's quite a hideous thing, and you scream madly "IT'S ALIVE!!!!" And it promptly kills you, then it rampages around the world telling people all about you and ow terrible you were, then he wipes out humanity in a plague of annoyance.

I wish that my dog would stop itching.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. You start itching instead. All the fleas that were on your dog's body hopped over to yours. You're driven crazy from the constant itching, and pour flea poison all over yourself. Unfortunately, with the open wounds you had from scratching your itches, the poison seeps into your bloodstream, killing you. You might be interested in knowing, though, that since all the poison got into your blood, rather than staying on your skin, the fleas survived.

(Changed this up a bit; the first version was too intense.)

I wish that the ice machine was full of ice.

[Mhera]

Granted!  The ice machine is extremely good at making ice quickly and it stays full. However, the sensor that tells it how full it is shorts out; as a result the machine thinks it's empty even though it's full. It starts to churn out ice unceasingly, eventually breaking the walls of the machine and spilling out into your house. Unfortunately this happens right after you go to sleep at night. You wake up the next morning freezing cold and with a house full of ice.

I wish I will do well on the my test tomorrow

[James Gryphon]

Granted; you answer all of the questions perfectly. Unfortunately, you forget to write your name at the top. The computer lists you as "Absent" for that test, and you're required to do a make-up, in which you don't do nearly as well.

I wish that I never had to worry about a certain thing.

[Izeroth]

 Granted. You worry about everything else.

I wish I could make my problems disappear.